The search for contentment in everyday life

cvalue

Lately I develop a reasoning method that seems to work for me so far. It's a struggle for each case but it's worth it because I feel lighter every time I win it.

(1) Imagine the bodhisattvas:
When two people at my pagoda - whom I respect a lot - but ignored me in return, I feel sad for a while! But after that I imagine these two as the two bodhisattvas who came to help me recognized that my big ego was hurt so I must let go of my ego. Me as the center of universe ought to be reduced and I should think more of other people instead of demanding attention from them.

When I absolutely must pay for a big and expensive item for my mother, it hurts! because I am cheap and would never lavish it on myself, I imagine she is the bodhisattva who appears to help me recognized my greediness and helps me to become less greedy and less hold on to the material thing.

When I start judging someone, for example, the other day I saw a girl walking in front of me and wearing a dress that I could see through. Luckily I remembered not to judge her but to straighten my thinking right away to: "she is lucky to be so beautiful, I wish her all the best".

(2) Good riddance of bad karma:
When my co-worker had a very rude remark on me in front of other co-workers, after the initial shock, I thanked her silently for getting rid of one of my previous bad karmas. The more bad karmas gone, the better!

(3) Be grateful:
One time I got upset with the Catholic religion. To overcome this, I use the feel grateful method. I remember when I was young, I was sent to Catholic school, and I feel grateful to them for teaching me many fine things. My anger for them disappears and my good will for them is returned.

I would appreciate a lot if you would share your methods. How do you do to find peace and quiet contentment in everyday life? I hope to learn more from you.

Thanks.

Jeffrey

Double awesome!

misterCope

What a great post!

I often think of the boat story when I'm upset by someone. I'm sure most everyone knows it already, but I'll relate it just in case:

You are on a still lake in a little boat. Suddenly, someone bumps you from behind. You become upset. What was this person thinking? Why wouldn't they watch what they are doing?? They have the whole lake to use, what's wrong with them?!? You turn around to give them a piece of your mind, but...the boat is empty.

oceancaldera207

This is a neat post. I sometimes try to remember that every meeting and interaction I have with random people, customers, co-workers will be remembered by them somewhere deep down... And I think, I'd like to leave a unique, meaningful addition to the mosaic that is their life memory.

I guess this comes from experiences I have where I remember bits and pieces of my life; sometimes everyday memories later become meaningful. (Also During really hard experiences, sometimes seemingly random memories pop up with a new meaning for me.)

So basically I hope to leave a positive impression on people that may not be noticeable until someday when they really need it.
And I think people have done that for me, so.

aMatt

The view I maintain which helps me find peace of mind is to recognize everyone as a buddha with a backpack of stones (karma). So I try to respect each being as I would any Buddha, and if their stones or dharma cause ripples in my pond, I say "wow, ripples" and move toward metta for us both. Namaste.

zenff

Sometimes the short-cut is to welcome the thought or the feeling that makes me uncomfortable; instead of trying to remove it and replace it with something nice and calming.

Just allowing it (the anger or the lust or the depression or whatever) removes the hook.
- One reason is that when I make the decision to allow the emotion, I am no longer completely absorbed and identified with the emotion. When I am friendly towards my anger; part of me is not angry but friendly.
- The other reason is that when I try to suppress some emotion it will grow. It’s fighting back. When I stop fighting it’s as if in some inner dialogue I am saying; calm down. Stop shouting, I can hear you, it’s okay.

lobster

Yesterday I looked for teachers, how many there are . .
http://web.archive.org/web/20030828015822/http://pages.britishlibrary.net/edjason/eight/

I tend to use reframing
http://feelhappiness.com/reframing-your-thoughts-make-yourself-happier/

:wave:

Citta

There is no lasting contentment to be found in everyday life.
That is precisely what the teachings on Dukkha are pointing to.
Letting that really sink in is the first step to letting go of wanting things to be other than they are.
My first teacher used to say 'take life straight and on the rocks...no soda '.

We must not underestimate the sheer ruthless radicalism of the Buddha. He is saying 'you can't fix life, you can just remove the idea of the person who fixes stuff '.

Woah93

Hmm, sad moments caused by others are usually easily overcome by sheer empathy and putting myself in other people's shoes. People who hurt others don't want to hurt others, they themselves are often sometimes direct and sometimes indirectly hurt and are lashing out. Other times it's ignorance and some times they are just having a bad day. We tend to forget that not only YOU are giving everything this much thought and are analyzing situations, other people do that too, and they might include interactions with you. So always treat others not as just a random persona or a stereotype in your head but as an identity, a soul who experiences this weird thing called consciousness just like everyone else.

Jeffrey

The teachings on Buddha nature help:

1 My own actions are based on Bodhicitta. Though it is distorted I am basically good.
2 My flaws (kleshas) are passing clouds and they are not truly me.
3 Other peoples flaws (kleshas) are not them they are just conditioned like a dog drooling.
4 Other people have Buddha nature so I shouldn't, or it's irrational, to feel superior to anyone because of my dharma practice.

footiam

cvalue said:

I would appreciate a lot if you would share your methods. How do you do to find peace and quiet contentment in everyday life? I hope to learn more from you.

Thanks.

I think but not speculate.

cvalue

Thank you to all of you who took time to reply. All your posts are great!

Thanks again.

Zayl

Very wise post cvalue, I like it.

One thing that I do is that I bear in mind that one day, I will die. And that one day, the people who have wronged me will die as well, and that even the planet, the entire solar system, the galaxy, even the universe, will end. It really put things into perspective, and I realize how trivial getting angry at someone for cutting me off in traffic is. We have so little time, and eventually everything will be gone, turned to dust. And so instead of getting angry, I feel content that I even have the chance to get cut off in traffic in the first place, if that makes any sense. Just being alive is a miracle of the highest standard, and all experiences, good and bad, should be looked upon with gratitude.

Now, putting that into practice can be difficult, even impossible at times. I still get angry, and even shout at (and in a few rare cases) fight people who will simply not leave me be. But I still never hold a grudge because of this, and eventually I will feel no ill-will against anyone.

banned_crab

I think suppressing these feelings will not free me. Its not about not doing it, its about not wanting to do it. If I dont want to help somebody but I do help them It doesnt make me a good person.