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My compassion, loving-kindness and anger control need A LOT of work (longish story, sorry).
Jainarayan
Veteran
I went into the bank at lunch time today. I was in there maybe 20 minutes. The air temp. is about 50*, but when I got into the truck, it was very, very warm, because the sun was coming in. Some time after I parked, another pickup truck, an older Ford F-150 small cab (I have a Chevy Silverado, extended cab, it's larger and still got hot inside) parked next to me.
Looking into the other truck I noticed a small dog, poodle-type. The truck windows were rolled up. I pulled out kind of upset, but thinking the owner may have run into the bank after I did, or into one of the other offices. So I'm driving down the road going back to work, got a sick feeling and made an Emergency Bat Turn back to the bank parking lot. Sure enough the truck was still there, dog inside. Now the sun is really beating through the windows into the truck. The poor dog is lying down on the seat, and there's little to no shade.
I went into the first (medical) office and asked the receptionist if someone came in that may be driving that truck. She said she would check. I looked around the waiting room and saw a few elderly people. I went into the bank and asked the same thing. No one knew. I said in the medical office and the bank I was about ready to call the police. A customer in the bank said "oh wait, someone is going to the truck". I said thanks, said this really upsets me, and bolted out the door.
It turns out that it was one of the women (60s maybe) I saw in the medical office, getting into the passenger side. She must have heard me talk to the receptionist because when I went up to the door, she launched a verbal assault on me (much feeling guilty, are we?): "It is NOT hot in this truck, you don't know what you're talking about, you should mind your own business". I said, "lady, it IS hot because my truck was hot inside after just 20 minutes, and it IS my business because what you did is illegal, and I'm about ready to call the police". There was a time I would have cursed her out, but not this time.
She said she's had dogs all her life, to which I said "well, you shouldn't; people like you shouldn't have animals". So, I walked around the truck and got the license plate number. No, I didn't call the police, but I was on the verge. I should have taken a picture the first time I left because it would have the time stamp on it. Then when the police came, they'd see that the dog was in the truck for at least 15 minutes. I would have pressed charges.
See, I've rescued and cared for several animals that were dying; they lived out their lives with me. When it comes to animals, children and the helpless, any helpless person or creature, do not screw with me; I will become a person's worst nightmare. Abandoned, neglected and abused animals are my primary cause; there is little consideration or resources to help them. The ASPCA does what it can. Anyway...
So I'm sure I was wrong becoming angry. I've let go of the anger, and I didn't have any ill will towards the woman. I might even feel sorry for someone being that stupid and careless. But I feel sorrier for the dog, though I have to say, s/he seemed none the worse for it. I can't know what would have happened if I didn't get that bad feeling, go back and alert the people. I don't want to feel proud that I did something good.
Looking into the other truck I noticed a small dog, poodle-type. The truck windows were rolled up. I pulled out kind of upset, but thinking the owner may have run into the bank after I did, or into one of the other offices. So I'm driving down the road going back to work, got a sick feeling and made an Emergency Bat Turn back to the bank parking lot. Sure enough the truck was still there, dog inside. Now the sun is really beating through the windows into the truck. The poor dog is lying down on the seat, and there's little to no shade.
I went into the first (medical) office and asked the receptionist if someone came in that may be driving that truck. She said she would check. I looked around the waiting room and saw a few elderly people. I went into the bank and asked the same thing. No one knew. I said in the medical office and the bank I was about ready to call the police. A customer in the bank said "oh wait, someone is going to the truck". I said thanks, said this really upsets me, and bolted out the door.
It turns out that it was one of the women (60s maybe) I saw in the medical office, getting into the passenger side. She must have heard me talk to the receptionist because when I went up to the door, she launched a verbal assault on me (much feeling guilty, are we?): "It is NOT hot in this truck, you don't know what you're talking about, you should mind your own business". I said, "lady, it IS hot because my truck was hot inside after just 20 minutes, and it IS my business because what you did is illegal, and I'm about ready to call the police". There was a time I would have cursed her out, but not this time.
She said she's had dogs all her life, to which I said "well, you shouldn't; people like you shouldn't have animals". So, I walked around the truck and got the license plate number. No, I didn't call the police, but I was on the verge. I should have taken a picture the first time I left because it would have the time stamp on it. Then when the police came, they'd see that the dog was in the truck for at least 15 minutes. I would have pressed charges.
See, I've rescued and cared for several animals that were dying; they lived out their lives with me. When it comes to animals, children and the helpless, any helpless person or creature, do not screw with me; I will become a person's worst nightmare. Abandoned, neglected and abused animals are my primary cause; there is little consideration or resources to help them. The ASPCA does what it can. Anyway...
So I'm sure I was wrong becoming angry. I've let go of the anger, and I didn't have any ill will towards the woman. I might even feel sorry for someone being that stupid and careless. But I feel sorrier for the dog, though I have to say, s/he seemed none the worse for it. I can't know what would have happened if I didn't get that bad feeling, go back and alert the people. I don't want to feel proud that I did something good.
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Comments
I don't feel that letting people get away with causing suffering is the right thing to do.
Thank you!
stupid peoplepeople who do not know any better.I did say something to someone about that (maybe I am a busybody? :scratch: ) as he put his two tiny dogs in the front seat, leaving the groomer. I politely said "I hate to bother you and butt in, but that's really not safe. If your airbag deploys... ". He seemed appreciative saying he didn't think of that. But he still put them in the front seat. Nah, not much blowing me off. :rolleyes: I have two Shih tzus who wear harnesses with their leashes wrapped around the back seat head rests and snugged. They have enough leash to move around on the seat, but not fall off the seat if I stop suddenly.
Well, I tend to lead with my chin and go on and on...
what did I do?
The confrontation could have been very different and if you're instigating a situation then it is helpful to remain focused and mindful throughout the execution of any action.
One day one of Sri Ramakrishna's disciples, a big strapping athletic young guy with a quick temper was riding in a boat with other passengers. The passengers began bad-mouthing Sri Ramakrishna. The young disciple would not stand for this, jumped up, and began threatening to overturn the boat and dump the passengers in the river if they did not stop this slander against his master. The passengers cowed in fear and sat quietly.
When the young man returned to his master he told the story. Sri Ramakrishna was very disappointed that his disciple became so angry so quickly, and chided him. The young man thought he learned his lesson.
The next time he was in a boat crossing a river, some passengers again began bad-mouthing Sri Ramakrishna. But thinking he learned his lesson about not becoming angry, this time the young man sat silently, though sadly at hearing his master being slandered. When the young man returned to his master he told the story. Sri Ramakrishna was very disappointed that his disciple did nothing, and chided him for letting the passengers slander him.
The disciple was confused and said that when he became angry, he was wrong; when he did nothing he was wrong. Sri Ramakrishna told the disciple that there is a middle way... one mustn't over-react nor under-react.
There's another story about a holy man and a snake I'll save for another time... I don't want to milk this dry.
But then I had a doubt and went out to my car parked right outside. It is about 60 here. So I got out, sat down in the car and yes, it was pretty hot, even though it was cool outside. I realized *physically* that I wouldn't want to be that dog.
I shouldn't be talking about things I have not experienced, just out of my head. Thank you for helping me remember that.
With education and experience, people became way more conscientious. I would never consider leaving my dog in a car on a hot day now. And over the years, I have also learned to be much more thoughtful about my dog than I ever had been in bygone days.
Mindless behavior, I know. Does that mean we need to condemn people for their mistakes forever? That is the crux of the compassion, judgement and anger question to my way of thinking. I guess it comes down to having hope that people can change their behavior. I am glad you educated that woman, and that was the right thing to do. Now, letting it go is the right thing to do.
95 degrees fahrenHEIGHT: to centigrade:
95 - 30 = 65. Halved, it's about 32 degrees centigrade....
From Centigrade (you need to 'upGrade') you FIRST double the number, and add thirty.
31 degrees centigrade: x 2 = 62, plus 30 = 92 fahrenheit.
.
(Note, it doesn't work if you halve the Fahrenheit figure FIRST, THEN deduct 30: Look.
95 divided by 2 = 47. minus 30 = 17 degrees. see? totally wrong.
It also doesn't work if you reverse the centigrade -> Fahrenheit calculation. For example:
31+ 30 = 61. doubled, it's 122 degrees Fahrenheit, which is clearly impossible in the habitable world....! )
Once there was a snake with a rather bad attitude. The small village near where the snake lived was very fearful of this snake. You see, this snake slithered through the grass, silently, seeking its victims, and without warning would strike and devour its prey. It was known to eat hens, dogs, and even big animals like cows. However, what was most upsetting to the villagers was that the snake was even eating their children.
The villagers wanted to be respectful towards all creatures but this snake had simply gone too far. They knew that something had to be done and they came together to get something done. The villagers gathered at the edge of the field, and with drumming and shouting, and sticks and stones, and with their minds made up started their search to find the snake and to kill it.
A holy man came upon this loud and angry crowd and asked, "What is this about?"
The villagers told him of the snake's evilness and how the snake was even eating their children. The holy man asked, "If I make this snake stop, and it no longer eats your children, and hunts your farm animals, will you spare the snake's life?"
The villagers argued among themselves. Some wanted vengeance and others were willing to let the holy man try. However, most of the villagers did not believe that the holy man would succeed and keep the snake from biting. However, reluctantly, they agreed to give the snake one chance.
The holy man entered the field and commanded the snake to come to him. And the power of the holy man caused the snake to crawl to the path and to the feet of the holy man.
"What issss it?" the snake hissed.
The holy man's words were simple: "Enough! There is no need for this. There is plenty of food without eating the villager's children or their animals."
Now it was not so much what the holy man said but it was how he said it. There was a kindness and an authority in the holy man's voice. The snake knew the holy man's words to be true. The snake did not hiss a word but nodded in agreement and slithered away.
It was not long before the villagers discovered that the snake would not harm them. They were grateful that the snake no longer would bite. However, some of the villagers in their anger and hurt from what the snake had done and some in their meanness began to beat the snake with sticks and stones. Day after day the snake received more and more abuse until it could take no more and it hid underneath a large rock.
The snake hid underneath that rock, determined not to break its word to the holy man. However, the snake was very confused, and said to itself, "Why is this happening to me? I listened and followed the holy man's words." The snake was so fearful of leaving its hiding place it was soon dying from the villagers' beatings and the lack of food.
One day, the weakened snake heard the footsteps of the holy man and with every bit of strength crawled out to meet him on the path. The holy man, seeing how terribly beaten and sickly the snake looked, asked, "What has happened to you?"
The snake with great effort told the story of the beatings and torment that it received from the villagers and how for days it had hidden underneath a rock to protect itself.
The holy man stood silently shaking his head. His voice was low as he said, "Oh, foolish snake, I told you not to bite but I did not say anything about hissing."
And with this the snake understood and slithered away hissing.