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It Takes One To Know One

AllbuddhaBoundAllbuddhaBound Veteran
in General Banter
I am in a very special group of people who is able to "give people the creeps" just by looking at them. When people get creeped out by looking at me, I often wonder what they think is going through my mind. Do they imagine I am visualizing them as the main course in a cannibalistic meal? Do they think I am plotting to murder them when they are not looking? Do they imagine I am a nut case just plotting to get my sub machine gun and mow down the crowd they are unfortunately standing in? It is really quite amusing.

If they only knew. I can't speak for all of my brethren creeps but for me, what I am thinking about, is absolutely nothing. No secret plots or dastardly deeds imagined under all of this scary personna. Most of the time, and for some reason I am completely oblivious to, my stare just locks on someone else's. I may find something fascinating about this other individual but most of the time, it is for some reason I don't even know. For the most part, I am able to "control" it and avert my eyes, but every once in a while, someone around me gets "the stare".

How many people on this board get "creeped out" by the way someone looks at them? What is it you imagine is going through their mind? Have you ever been attacked by one of these creeps? Or maybe for my fellow people who have the special power to give the creeps, what is going through your mind?
VastmindInvincible_summer

Comments

  • Steve_BSteve_B Veteran
    Never heard of this.
    Do you smile very much?
    Vastmind
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran
    edited December 2013
    I disagree. You couldn't give me the creeps just by looking
    at me. You can't give me something, if I dont have my hand out
    to recieve it.
    Your thinking about nothing? Um...no..you said in two
    paragraphs, that you think about what the other person
    must be thinking...or is that at another time..not at the
    exact moment your 'throwing' the creeps.

    Here is what I throw ........ :)
    What are you thinking? hahaha
  • HamsakaHamsaka goosewhisperer Polishing the 'just so' Veteran
    edited December 2013
    Projection

    rationalwiki.org/wiki/Psychological_projection

    And a bit of wishful thinking? It's all in your head, not 'theirs' . . . but take heart, it really IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD anyway. Everything! Besides, it's a mean thing to (hope, wish, think, imagine, dream you) do. Best stop immediately.

    Gassho :)
  • howhow Veteran Veteran
    It is amazing how just seeing how interconnected all beings are to each other can transmit that truth to everyone around you.
    "Creep" as an expression of isolating one being from another, doesn't thrive very well in such an environment.
    HamsakaVastmindseeker242lobster
  • seeker242seeker242 Zen Florida, USA Veteran
    AllbuddhaBound said:

    Or maybe for my fellow people who have the special power to give the creeps, what is going through your mind?

    I've observed that "creeping people out" is usually a function of a mind that does not transmit Metta energy. In other words, it's not necessarily what is going through your mind, it's what isn't going through your mind, that creeps people out. A mind that transmits strong Metta never creeps anyone out. Stare at someone with a strong metta energy and they will just smile at you. They might even come over and want to talk!
    "Friends, eleven advantages are to be expected as effects from the release
    of mind into friendliness by the practice of Goodwill, by cultivating amity,
    by making much of it frequently, by making friendliness the vehicle, the tool,
    the basis, by insisting on it, by being well established in it as a sublime habit!

    What are these eleven advantages ?

    3. One is liked and loved by all human beings!
    4. One is liked and loved by all non-human beings too!
    lobster
  • BarraBarra soto zennie wandering in a cloud in beautiful, bucolic Victoria BC, on the wacky left coast of Canada Veteran
    I don't get creeped out by people, and it is actually not possible for you to know what is in other people's minds. Having said that, it can be unsettling to realize that someone is staring right at you. I would suggest that you practise " not staring". When you realize that you are staring at someone, excuse yourself. You could say something like " sorry. I'm just spacing out again" and give them a smile. They'll likely smile back at you. Or maybe not, but they won't be creeped out once you've explained yourself.
  • AllbuddhaBoundAllbuddhaBound Veteran
    I am of the mind that people have different ways of relating to the world, depending on which part of the brain they are presently operating out of.

    The left side of the brain, is oriented to future and past, categorizing by the use of language, judging and projecting into the future. The orientation to time is future/past and is different than the orientation on the right side of the brain. If true, this left side would be the source for anxiety.

    The right side is oriented to the present. It recalls with pictures, and it has no language. It is the area one is in when the mind is still. As a consequence, insight and connection would be a by product of thought from this side of the brain.

    This is well articulated by Jill Bowles Taylor in the Ted Talk.

    http://www.ted.com/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight.html

    As she explains in her talk, she states that the left brain functioning is very I oriented with individuality and separateness being the product. She feels the right hemisphere is one where there is much more connection and world community orientation.

    Of course, this is a theory, but a very well educated one and it is one I have found to hold a lot of truth as I have observed it.
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    Agree with seeker242, creepy 'energy' is present, internal arising is creepy. :eek2:

    Up the metta!
    What happens?

    Peace and joy and jingle bells (if appropriate)
  • betaboybetaboy Veteran
    For me, it is the exact opposite. Even strangers smile at me, talk to me, etc. They act like they already know me. It is unsettling.
    @AllbuddhaBound are you a big guy? Do you have a stern expression?
    lobster
  • zenffzenff Veteran
    edited December 2013
    Imho you’d have to take into account “non-verbal communication” and “projection”.

    The projection side of it is that you don’t really know what people think about you, just like they don’t know what you think about them, unless this information is checked and communicated explicitly.
    The ideas we have about what’s going on in peoples’ mind can be seriously flawed and prejudiced.

    The other side of the coin is that we do make judgments about people within one tenth of a second on the basis of non-verbal communication. So if your statement would be verified and it showed that you actually make people feel uncomfortable; there’s probably something going on on a non-verbal level.

    Maybe your idea that you give people the creeps makes you avoid eye-contact; and the avoiding eye-contact is what’s giving them the creeps!
    Or maybe when you stare them in the eyes you do that for too long without interruption and it is perceived as being dominant.
    If this phenomenon is real and problematic, maybe get some serious advice from an expert.

    Or just smile at people.
    When you get the impression they feel uncomfortable, have a friendly thought for them and smile. That should work.


    riverflowlobsterMaryAnne
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