Identifying Discontent

Pollyanna83

Maybe this is why we are all here, but how does one begin to identify and understand a constant feeling of discontent and struggle?

Bunks

The identifying part is pretty easy @Pollyanna83. Most of us would agree that life life is mostly full of discontent. Wishing we were somewhere else, doing something else, with someone else etc.

As for understanding it, that's where the first noble truth comes in.

When you are struggling or feeling unsatisfied, try and look at it objectively. Where is it coming from? What are you clinging to? Can you just sit with it?

You're right - that's why I'm here anyway.

robot

I like to think that while examining the feeling of discontent, one might also notice that it is not constant, but impermanent, and that feelings of satisfaction and contentment come and go as well.

pegembara

Sit quietly and observe your feelings. There are 3 basic feelings - of liking the present state, disliking it and equanimity. The first two causes discontent.

Discontentment arise from craving ie. wanting things to be the way we like rather than accepting things as they are.

The problem lies in identifying the feeling as ours rather than realizing that the feelings aren't ours but arise due to causes and conditions.

"Bhikkhus, feeling is not-self. Were feeling self, then this feeling would not lead to affliction, and one could have it of form: 'Let my feeling be thus, let my feeling be not thus.' And since feeling is not-self, so it leads to affliction, and none can have it of feeling : 'Let my feeling be thus, let my feeling be not thus.'



"So, bhikkhus any kind of feeling whatever, whether past, future or presently arisen, whether gross or subtle, whether in oneself or external, whether inferior or superior, whether far or near, must with right understanding how it is, be regarded thus: 'This is not mine, this is not I, this is not myself.'

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn22/sn22.059.nymo.html

lobster

robot said:

I like to think that while examining the feeling of discontent, one might also notice that it is not constant, but impermanent, and that feelings of satisfaction and contentment come and go as well.

Oy vey Maria! (Judiac Catholic exclamation)

Does you mean the good bits lull us into a false sense of 'samsara ain't so bad'? I think you does [sob].

I think I'm getting a grip of them four Noble Truths . . .

NT1 Woody Allen — 'Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.'
NT2 My little pony will not save you for long, no matter how hard you hugs them
NT3 We have the technology
NT4 The 8 fold path to Google

BhikkhuJayasara

when you have everything society says you need to have to be happy, yet it all feels hollow, fleeting, and unsatisfying... that is discontent.

Citta

Pollyanna83 said:

Maybe this is why we are all here, but how does one begin to identify and understand a constant feeling of discontent and struggle?

That sounds like what the Buddha called Dukkha. Its often wrongly thought of as pessimistic...but it isn't. Its your wake up call.

DairyLama

Pollyanna83 said:

Maybe this is why we are all here, but how does one begin to identify and understand a constant feeling of discontent and struggle?

The short answer is mindfulness, just paying attention to those feelings, ideally without judgement.

federica

Pollyanna83 said:

Maybe this is why we are all here, but how does one begin to identify and understand a constant feeling of discontent and struggle?

Identifying it is simple - any emotion which removes you from a normal, balanced calm neutral state - is 'discontent and struggle'. Even the good, beneficial, positive emotions.

All you have to think is "I am not these emotions, and they are not who I am."

Accept their transitory nature, 'find your centre' and relax.
Breathe.
Move on.
Next!

how

Pollyanna83 said:

Maybe this is why we are all here, but how does one begin to identify and understand a constant feeling of discontent and
struggle?

As others have said, this is part of the foundation of a Buddhist practice. Without it there would be no motivation to enter into a practice. In understanding how extensive it is, the rest of the 4NTs will show you how to address it.

karasti

I think if you realize you are not content, you already have (at least started) to identify it

The part to understand is that it doesn't have to be that way, that we can change how we think. As a result, we change everything about our lives. We have been trained to be discontent. It's what makes us good consumers. But we can choose to train ourselves otherwise with a good practice.

The hard part is practicing. It's not like exercising where you workout and then WHEW you are done and collapse on the couch for a break. It's pretty much non-stop because life is forever challenging our practice, and that is a good thing. There is no break from life, so there can't really be a break from practice, either.

wangchuey

The path that leads away from two extremes is where contentment usually is.

Nirvana

Pollyanna83 said:

Maybe this is why we are all here, but how does one begin to identify and understand a constant feeling of discontent and struggle?

Hi! Interesting Topic. Firstoff, I'm not here out of discontent, but out of curiosity. I do not think that extremely curious people such as myself are discontented, or unhappy to use a ready-to-hand synonym. Of course, every life has many, many disappointments. In fact, looking back over the years, my life has certainly been full of them. Nonetheless I will not let life's ups and down steal my joy.

For my part, I think if anyone actually has "a constant feeling of discontent and struggle" one is radically unhappy and needs to make a major life change. The French word for happiness is "contentment," need I say more? To that term of contentment is attached the meaning of "being filled up," being complete, as it were. To be discontent is to be radically lacking something which you either really need or just think you need. But we are what we think. So stop thinking. At least slow it down and try sitting still, as others have said above. One in a state of constant discontentment, if this really be possible, needs to make some major life change, no matter how simple it may seem formulaically. I am reminded of some words of Meher Baba:

A mind that is fast is sick.
A mind that is slow is sound.
A mind that is still is divine.

Of course, he was talking in terms of a racy mind, which oft afflicts people.

But Happiness is just the ground-floor of being well spiritually. Beyond that we must feel joy in our beings, that happiness which knows no bounds, for it "imagines" every good thing without even actual visualization. Another word is enthusiasm (enteos), which etymologically means "to have a god within."

Life is a struggle, but to be fit for meeting it with grace you have to feel the joy.

And sometimes you have to leave everything behind and start anew, following a different path. One must live for joy, not for a bank of regrets.

footiam

Pollyanna83 said:

Maybe this is why we are all here, but how does one begin to identify and understand a constant feeling of discontent and struggle?

Some people I met seem pretty content with their life. Some even praises the Lord and thank them for the food on their tables.