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a poem

genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran
in General Banter

This poem crossed my bow again yesterday and I kind of liked it:

Slip me down between the waves,
Beneath the needs, before the craves.
Slip me down and make me free
As apples falling from the tree.
RodrigoToraldrisyagrThailandTom

Comments

  • NeleNele Veteran

    Nice. The plural noun in the final sentence is a bit jarring to me...likening oneself to a single apple would resonate nicely though. Thank you.

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited April 2014

    No, @Nele.... the singular would imply that only one apple is free. That's conditional. All the apples are free; therefore freedom is unconditional; it applies to all, regardless. It is not selective, or particular, it is there for ALL to have.

    anataman
  • ZeroZero Veteran

    It's good.
    Last line doesn't fit in well with the theme. From slipping and wave to tree and apple.
    Maybe 'indiscernible from the sea' or some such.

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    I can't find the original author, for some reason (The Great God Google has failed!!)

    Perhaps we could find him/her and ask them what the last line's all about then..... :D

  • ToraldrisToraldris   -`-,-{@     Zen Nud... Buddhist     @}-,-`-   East Coast, USA Veteran
    edited April 2014

    @federica They come and go, what's it to them? It's about being carefree, before the needs and cravings of the delusional mind arise. Apples don't cling; when it's time, they fall freely from the tree. At least that's my interpretation of it. It is kinda jarring going from talking about ocean waves to talking about apples... (as @Zero mentioned).

  • yagryagr Veteran

    Funny how we care. I'm going out on a limb here and say it doesn't matter to the apples.

    Oh wait...

    Toraldris
  • ToraldrisToraldris   -`-,-{@     Zen Nud... Buddhist     @}-,-`-   East Coast, USA Veteran
    edited April 2014

    @genkaku You're not the same "genkaku" (Adam Fisher) from this blog site, are you? ... http://genkaku-again.blogspot.com/2013/06/slip-me-down.html

    On that one, "genkaku" admits in the comments to being the poem's author. Seems a heck of a coincidence to me! :D

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited April 2014

    I was about to get all philosophical and 'Self/not-self-ist'...But I don't want to work that hard..... :D

    Toraldris
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    edited April 2014

    _between the waves, the xx, the weed

    above the clouds, the raves, the fall

    bolster free, up and for ever

    a far shored landing in the empty forest_

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    Right.

    Thanks.

    No...really.

    Thanks.

  • ZeroZero Veteran

    @federica said:
    I can't find the original author, for some reason (The Great God Google has failed!!)

    Perhaps we could find him/her and ask them what the last line's all about then..... :D

    Assumed it was @genkaku's...

  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran

    @zero ... assumed correctly.

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    oh, so you're the culprit.... "God didn't make the little green apples, it don't rain in Indianapolis in the summertime...."

    Explain yourself!! ROTF......

    Zero
  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran
    edited April 2014

    @federica -- I will gladly explain myself right after you explain bubblegum.

    :)

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited April 2014

    Hang on...I have to pull it off the bed-post, where I leave it overnight.....

  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran

    @federica -- That is one of my all-time faves!!!!

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