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Wedding presents
Cobaltsword
Explorer
This is just to see what you would give in my position.
I'm attending my girlfriend's brother's wedding in two weeks. I'm befriended with bim and his soon to be bride, lovely people (chritians just a detail). They know i'm a turned buddhist thus i figured, are there tradittional gifts i could give? I looked it up and found that offering buddha statues was a common tradition. And so i found a lovely chinese buddha statue, being the symbol of happiness i thought he would possibly bring joy to the new couple.
I'm just wondering what you would give, or have recived in turn 
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Comments
I would look at their wedding list and probably choose the knives from the cutlery set...
No.
I recently gave a Buddhist statue to a Christian but I knew him well enough, it would have been better to give him a present to do with him rather me. I was not absolutely sure it would be OK.
I think you are better off finding something useful and neutral, like a toaster. Do they have a present list? Would it have Buddhist statue on it?
I'm not sure I would give a Buddhist give of that nature knowing they don't share your beliefs. Some Christians find statues like that to be a form of idol worship that goes against their beliefs, they might wonder why you are giving them such a thing. I might, anyhow, lol. My friends know I am Buddhist, I would find it odd if they gave me a cross for a wedding gift, I'd think they wanted to convert me, lol.
I wouldn't worry about picking something that has anything to do with beliefs at all. There are some lovely cloth scrolls you can get with various saying on them that are more secular in nature, or, like @anataman said, just get them something off their gift list, which is easier of course. My favorite gift from our wedding is a small plaque with the Apache Wedding Prayer on it.
I see what you mean, no there is no present list unfortunatley. But i know they won't mind. It's more that it's my way of showing that i care about them and that they'll remember it coming from me. I know they'll find it charming ^^
Still sounds like your making it about you...not them.
Buy them something they like or are into or buy a household item they could use.
Or give them money in a card.
That is really nice if they know you that well.
I remember one of our wedding gifts so well - there is no point describing the toby jug figure to you but it was, well an obvious unwanted gift...
it was accepted graciously with 'wtf - we paid how much for them to have a free meal and free booze all night... _ but OM why let something that happened so long ago cause me tension! IYKWIM
I actually had the opportunity to give someone a gift for their 21st... I bought her a golden pendant.... she actually said, "I'm surprised it wasn't anything with a Buddhist theme... are you allowed such ornaments?" I told her yes, but that I didn't want her to think I was pushing my ideas onto her. She replied, "Oh, I wouldn't have thought that at all! But I would never have forgotten who gave it to me!"
That Christmas, I gave her a little gold pendant of the Buddhist 'eternal knot'. She wears it with the pendant I gave her....
I think giving a buddhist gift to those we don't know very well, would be a mistake.
Giving it to someone close to us, is a gesture of 'togetherness'....
This. This is what it is for me and them. It will indeed be construed like a gesture of 'togetherness' and they will kind of excpect it of me to give them something buddhist themed ^^
Allthough i understand all your points. But it seems it depends on the relation you have with the person you're giving the gift to. I'm pretty sure they'll be delighted when they recieve it
Absolutely it depends on the nature of the people involved and how well you know them and how you believe it will be received. In that case, you already know what you are doing
Exactly what i meant ^^
Does your girlfriend have some input?
Of course ^^ she's on board with me and thinks her brother will really appreciate the gift
My apologies, I did not read the initial post carefully enough. You were asking what we would give as wedding presents? It depends on who is getting married, Buddhism does not usually come into it for me. What is useful, perhaps for the kitchen.
Sounds like you already had your mind made up. Go with what your gf agrees,......that works out best for you...not us...
.. hahaha
i'm sorry i should have been more precise. I was more interested in what you would give if you went to a buddhist wedding (not the case here but it's a special gift for friends) or if you have ever recived anything buddhist themed yourself
My elder brother gave me a terracotta glazed statuette of The Buddha - Chinese style. it is in fact an upright figure of Ho-Tei, with his sack, Peach branch and gourd.... it's beautiful - but as we all know, not THE Buddha.
My brother doesn't know that.
it's a treasured possession, all the same...
My friends usually do get me buddha gifts and whether the item is in my tradition or not.....I love them. It takes alot of guts for a Southern Baptist to walk into one of the 2 'international' stores and pick something out..hahaha . I really appreciate the effort it must take them. I also return the gesture and give alot of Christian gifts...but it's much easier for me...not just mentally, but there is a Christian/bible bookstore/store here on every corner. ..
.. ......That stuff is what we exchange for b-day's and other recognitions...the wedding thing, Buddhist or not, I always stick to either household items or money.
For my recent 15 yr work anniversary, one of my co workers got me a super nice Buddha pen that I use everyday. Her and I don't even talk religion, but being that I'm the religious minority around work, it meant alot to me for her to step out like that.
Thanks again, Robin ..
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The only advice I might offer is to get something authentic, if you can. Try not to get something that is mass produced and sold at Pier One. When I buy those kinds of items, I try to support artisans in their countries more so than supporting mass factory productions that only serve to very poorly pay their people and instead make factory and company owners rich. I don't mean that you should go out and spend hundreds of dollars for an antique hand carved item or anything. Just that I personally think it's a good idea to be cautious in what we support when we spend money. All the time, but especially when we are representing a belief set.
Yep...happens to me all the time. I don't correct the person...I know that they don't know....like you said, some have turned out to be favorite things of mine.....like a jade one with the 5 babies around him....Um...no thanks, please no more children for me...hahaha...but she gave it to me for a Thank you after helping her with her mom's death...so it touched my heart. He sits on a windowsill by the kids room. ..
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I would give them what they like; not what I like.
well it is something they will like so i'm good on that ^^
I'd steer clear of any religious gifts regardless. Giving something Buddhist is still "me" focused and not "them" focused IMO.
noted
but i already bought the gift, so i will bring it to them with the Haiku i wrote for them to accompany it ^^
Present haiku
This is a small gift (5)...
It's a Buddha but who cares (7)...
It's the thought that counts. (5)
(AND line 1 & 3 make sense without line 2.... Just put the cheque in the post.
Thank you, thank you.....)