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What do you desire?
footiam
Veteran
Often, you've heard that desire causes suffering. Does yours cause any discomfort?
0
Comments
No because it is wholesome and I don't crave a specific outcome.
@Footiam
Do you suffer without knowing it's cause?
Yes. I tend to lose sight of reality and the big picture frequently. My father, for instance, is getting older and in poor health. I have thought sometimes, that the only thing keeping him alive is his overwhelming fear of death. He belongs to a particular faith but it is fear-based and he gets little comfort from it. I find myself often desiring that he could see things differently but the hold his beliefs have on him is unshakable.
In fact, the only time that I ever remember him raising his voice to me was when I tried to reframe my step mothers death for him according to the Buddha's teachings. The fear of even listening to such teachings was palatable.
So yes, as I watch him trudge inexorably toward the grave, and realize that all things being equal he is closer than most, I find myself desiring that I could talk to him more skillfully about such things and give him comfort...and my lack of ability to do so does cause me some discomfort. While I can see the irony of such a circle, it nevertheless exists.
I desire entertainment and sweets. Binging on entertainment is enjoyable while doing it but it leaves me feeling bad and rundown. Sweets destroy my energy and motivation.
Desire causes suffering when there is craving attached to it.
I realize the difference between indulging in wholesome desire or rather giving in to craving when my husband threatens to shred my credit card to pieces
I guess it depends on the definition of desire. The ones Ive looked up range from "expressing a wish for" to "a longing or craving". Bob
As I pointed out, the desire is not the problem. The extent of our attachment to a specific result, is.
Desire is based on the delusion that you need something outside yourself to be happy.
Not necessarily.
Desire can also be based on the certainty that you need something outside of yourself to improve your progress.
@yagr -- At the risk of suggesting what you have already suggested to yourself: 1. It is entirely natural to wish the best for those near and dear; 2. It is sensible, but not always possible, to examine what it is that defines "the best"; 3. when talking to someone who insists on a particular point of view, what can any of us do but say things like, "I don't see things that way. The way I see things is...." and then present a personal point of view as if offering a plate full of cookies ... maybe someone will take one, maybe not; it's the offering that counts.
@yagr I think you know the serenity prayer. Good advice.
https://thebuddhistcentre.com/eightsteps/serenity-prayer
Grant me the serenity to accept that which I cannot change,
The courage to change what I can,
The wisdom to know the difference,
And the vocabulary of a clumsy, one-eyed sailor carpenter when I fuck up
http://stefdawson.com/blog/the-serenity-prayer-for-today-s-world
Kia Ora,
Alan Watts had an interesting take on "desire"
Metta Shoshin
So he did @Shoshin
It wasn't lost on me; have your fun, you have deserved it ...
... :
... \ lol / ...
Kia Ora Anataman,
Thanks for the Kia Ora clip, I enjoyed it...
However I live in Aotearoa ( New Zealand) and "Kia Ora" is a greeting used by many Kiwis (the human inhabitants - not the flightless birds![]()
) it's a Maori word meaning "Be well or healthy"...
_" Don't desire to give up more desire than you can, and if you find that a problem, then don't desire to be "successful" in giving up more desire than you can !"
_
Eventually one will stumble upon the middle way
Metta Shoshin
Desires are basically wants as opposed to needs, and as many have stated, it is not the source of suffering. I can see how being ignorant to our needs, as in needing something one doesn't actually need, is a form of suffering in itself and can also lead to more suffering.
Just re-reading Ajahn Sumedho:
_"It is the grasping of desire that is suffering. Desire does not cause suffering; the cause of suffering is the grasping of desire." _
"When you really see the origin of suffering, you realise that the problem is the grasping of desire not the desire itself. Grasping means being deluded by it, thinking it's really 'me' and 'mine': 'These desires are me and there is something wrong with me for having them'; or, 'I don't like the way I am now. I have to become something else'; or 'I have to get rid of something before I can become what I want to be.' All this is desire. So you listen to it with bare attention, not saying it's good or bad, but merely recognising it for what it is"
Yeah, I said that.
But certainly not as prettily.
Or famously.
But it's what I learnt, so I guess it was second-hand too.
There again, isn't everything we practice? +smile+
No.
In the 4 Noble Truths the cause of suffering in the Pali is tanha, literally "thirst". So it's more like attachment to desire. "Craving" is probably better.