Does buying meat for my husband break my precept, not to kill?
Carrieryman
New
I am a practicing Buddhist. And I do not eat meat. However, my husband, not a Buddhist, loves and wants meat at every meal. Due to a severe back and hip injury, I do not have a job. My husband does all the heavy lifting plus vacuuming and mowing. But I do everything else I can at home to contribute until I can work again.
Two of my tasks are purchasing food and preparing meals. I am suffering with great indecision on this. I truly believe that when I purchase meat, it indirectly causes animals to suffer. Furthermore, I am pretty sure that the purchase of meat is a violation of the "no killing" precept and will incur bad karma. But where is my compassion, another aspect of Buddhism, if I cause my husband to suffer by not buying him the food he desires (meat) and giving him yet one more chore? My husband works long hours and is exhausted and stressed out enough as it is. I would feel horrible adding more to his plate (by not adding meat to his plate, pardon the pun). It is his choice to be a carnivore and I respect his right to make that decision.
I love my husband. And I love the earth and all the animals on it. I also love the farmers who I buy the meat from. I am conflicted over this.
I look to you, more experienced Buddhists, to advise me on this. Any thoughts?
Comments
Just don't worry. Do not eat but buy for your husband after all he is taking care of you .
That's up to you. I can't call it. You know better than I the circumstances in your house.
If you believe you'll burn in hell ( mental or otherwise)...decide accordingly.
Just my opinion (and seeing as you asked), if I were in your shoes I would buy the meat for your husband.
You said you don't want to buy meat because it causes animals to suffer. However, if you let your husband buy the meat will they suffer any less? Perhaps he'll even buy MORE meat if you let him do the shopping causing more suffering.
Good luck with your decision! Try not to stress about it too much. We can only do what we can.......
Btw, I am not a vegetarian but consider myself a Buddhist.
My husband is very supportive and has even told me he will understand if I stop buying meat for him. He will buy it himself, and I would still prepare it for him. However, it seems like splitting hairs in a way. If I am going to be directly involved by cooking it, why put him to the great trouble of buying it?
What I really would like to know is if buying meat is a violation of the no killing precept. Does anyone know?
I practice and best relate to Theravada Buddhism, btw., in case that matters.
@Carrieryman
I have been a vegetarian for over 40 years because it seems to be a better statement of an intent to cause less suffering than does meat eating.
But..it doesn't mean no suffering...just perhaps a little less suffering.
Whether your husband buys the meat or you do , the marketing conditions that contribute to replacement animals being killed to fill that space is being set in motion. Since you survive on his meat eating then I would personally just buy the meat and cook it just for him.
Suffering is really about attachment and an attachment to being a vegetarian is no less a cause of suffering. Each of us have enough of a plethora of potential attachments to work with, without needing to fixate on one as the make it or break it deal.
And everything changes.
^^^ ... calling @Jason .... ( he's pretty knowledgable in this area).. from a Theravada POV..
Thanks, everyone. It is so comforting to finally talk about this dilemma with other Buddhists. I am so happy that I found this site.
You are right, Bunk! The animals WILL still suffer if he buys the meat. In fact, he is going to buy the meat at the cheapest, most convenient location he can. However, I only buy cage free chicken and turkey and eggs from local farmers vs our local grocery store who buys from factory farms. Wow.
What about karma?
"Each of us have enough of a plethora of potential attachments to work with, without needing to fixate on one as the make it or break it deal.
And everything changes."
Quote of the week.
@how
Thank you. I never even considered my vegetarianism is an attachment. Hmmm. Yes. There will be suffering no matter where you are. I will think about that a while. I would love to let go of this so I (and my husband on a more subtle level) can suffer a little less.
Yes, everything changes.
So sorry...I went off running at the mouth, without even saying...
HI...nice to meet you...
...
Off topic...your eyeball is freaky., hahaha...At least it's not four of them...hahaha...the last eyeball avatar we had was this x4... ( @AldrisTorvalds ) ..
..
@Carrieryman
I would not beat yourself up over it.
The Buddha refused requests to make vegetarianism mandatory for his disciples.
One of the reasons was because he didn't want his disciples to move from the non judgmental acceptance of what ever they were offered .....to the development of a discriminatory mind over what offerings they would or would not accept.
This is a statement over what the causes of suffering really are, from the one who first & foremost taught others how to walk the path towards suffering's cessation.
Ahhh... Thank you, how. I am copying this to save it for later.
Insofar as Theravada is concerned, you have to understand that the vast majority of 'regulations' laid down by the Buddha were primarily aimed at the ordained, that is, monks. He stipulated that no monk should harm or kill a animal; neither should they either request someone do the deed for them, nor should they partake of a meal where they knowingly ate something specially killed for them.
See here.
And yes, you are very welcome, thank you for joining us.
Greetings, @Carrieryman.
I can sympathize with your realization that buying meat causes (or at least helps to contribute to) the suffering of animals; it's one of the reasons I also don't eat meat. That said, buying meat doesn't technically violate the first precept, in my opinion; and the fact that you're doing it out of kindness also causes (or at least helps to contribute to) the happiness and non-suffering of your husband. So from my point of view, what you're doing is blameless, and you should try not to create any unnecessary suffering for yourself by beating yourself because your husband doesn't share the same beliefs/diet as you do.
Moreover, since you don't eat meat, that means you're only buying half as much anyway, so you're actually helping to do what you can to reduce the overall amount of suffering engendered by the meat industry, which is something else you can focus on to help you not feel as guilty. (You can find some more of my thoughts about it here as well, of you're interested.)
Do you enjoy doing little things to make your husband happy? It certainly sounds like he doesn't mind going out of his way to make you happy. So what's the difference between you buying meat, cooking and feeding it to your husband, and him buying the meat from the same checking account, handing it to you, and you cooking and feeding it to your husband? In neither case is this causing even one more cow or pig or chicken to be slaughtered.
So if it bothers you, maybe you can arrange a trade, do something extra for him in exchange. Or just don't let it bother you by focusing on why you're picking up a pack of pork chops at the store. You're doing it not for you, but for him. It's practicing Metta.
But I'm not a vegetarian brand of Buddhist, so take my advice for what it's worth.