Oxytocin...The "Hug Drug"...
Shoshin
No one in particularNowhere Special Veteran
@AllbuddhaBound posted this link in another thread, which I found quite interesting...
http://www.ted.com/talks/paul_zak_trust_morality_and_oxytocin?language=en
I love to hug and I love being hugged(at the Buddhist group I attend we hug lots and also when I meet people in my local community we tend to hug each other)....
I can normally sense when a person is receptive to being hugged ( but occasionally I've slipped up and have felt the fear in the person "they freeze up" when being hugged/touched (Its as if they don't know how to react to a show of warmth and affection)...
Sadly some people (possibly through some past unwholesome experience) don't like to be touched, whilst for others, they can't wait to be hugged or to hug someone...
Neuroscience (So it would seem) have found that hugging releases a rush of oxytocin in the brain (see TED Talk clip in link)
So are you a hugger? ....Are you addicted to the "Hug Drug" ?
I should point out, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to hug or be hugged...People have their reasons and I respect that...
It's "Different strokes for different folks!"
Comments
I can hug if called upon to do it. I can take it or leave it.
Being unaffectionate does not serve one very well in relationship. That much I've learned.
At one Buddhist group I went to it was like hugging was obligatory, which made me feel quite uncomfortable.
With oxytocin (like other things) there's always swings and roundabouts ...
http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_ways_oxytocin_might_shape_your_social_life
I guess as the ol' saying goes "Everything in moderation!" ...
You contribute some interesting stuff here on NB, OP. How is life on Aotearoa? Are your friends into this stuff, too? Intellectual types or spiritual types, or both?
We weren't a 'hugging family' past the toddler stage, and growing up, being around huggier families had its uncomfortable moments. But I'm a big fan of oxytocin, apparently, and am much more comfortable now, especially with those sudden seizures when two people just suddenly want to have a big ole hug fest.
A while ago I randomly found this . ASMR stands for 'autonomic sensory meridian response'. Here's a quote from the link:
There are YouTube videos made specifically to create the little 'rush', personal grooming videos where the viewer is the 'recipient' of the grooming. Here's an example youtube.com/watch?v=fMR_O_HX7zA it is positively creepy, just listening to her voice sends tinglies up and down the back of my head! Pardon me while I finish erm, watching the video . . .
I would bolted for the hills. I'm exceedingly awkward socially, so being told to hug someone would've been problematic for me. I'm also super cautious of other people's personal boundaries.
I'm basically Latin, so we hug a lot in my family.
My friends in Switzerland are mostly Latin and my husband's family are French Swiss, which means we hug a lot, too.
We are very open to expressing our feelings, so I am very uncomfortable around Swiss people, who have a hard time opening up and touching.
Life in Aotearoa is fine and life on this tiny island is as well as well can be, I can't complain...And as you can tell, I have plenty of time on my hands and they do say... "The devil makes work for idle hands!" .
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I guess it can be liken to giving the mind free range to explore the weird and wonderful, it's like testing its limits (So far so good, I haven't found any limits yet)
In answer to your second question, for the most part I'm sure my friends think I'm a little weird...I don't know why, perhaps I am...who knows ??? but "Everybody's somebody's weirdo!" . :screwy: ..
My friends are a mixture, like licorice allsorts, intellectuals, spirituals, theists, atheists, agnostics, even a few normals thrown in.... a real diverse bunch of friends...
I blame it all on the Buddha.....
(On a more serious note..It's important to exercise/fire up the neuro transmitters or one could become brain dead) . :om: ..
I'm in A.A.; we do a lot of man-hugging there. I think it's an American thing that's squeezed it's way into the UK!
The first time I was hugged in A.A. it was when I was new and had shared my miserable story and after the meeting a professional footballer just hugged me. I thought it was weird to be honest.
The next hug was from my A.A. sponsor after I shared my Step 5. That was a nice one; I nearly cried. Then again at Step 12, he hugged me, declaring me a 'recovered alcoholic'.
Since then I've hugged a lot of guys. I've also hugged a newcomer and he cried. When we're new to A.A. we generally don't feel wanted, so I guess it's nice to find a place where we feel loved, no matter what we've done.
I rarely hug ladies since I wouldn't want to frighten them; though if they want to hug, I'm all for it.
Along with Maori, other Pacific islanders, Europeans, Asians, I also have South American friends (There're lots living in my local community), with the SAs, hugs and cheek kisses are part of the norm...I feel "at home" around them.... .
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Reminds me of the A-frame hug, where two people stand apart and hug with the arms and shoulders only. It's very brief, like a good handshake with flavor added, not particularly intimidating 'sexually'. A very polite hug.
I've always heard it as "idle hands are the devil's playthings", and just now found out the last word has historically been "workshop". It always brings a smile to my face to see a different take on something I've long taken for granted!
The Living Bible uses the quote literally, and has the original afterward: Proverbs 16:27 Idle hands are the devil’s workshop; idle lips are his mouthpiece, literally, “A worthless man devises mischief; and in his lips there is a scorching fire.”
My origins does not do hugs. It is certainly new thing i have in uk. So there is not much hugging in the family. But only among friends. I also love hugs with my friends, which actually make me realize that i like affection and attention too much.
You can hug with the intention of giving affection and attention, rather than wanting it.
My hugs are always reserved for the people who, as I approach them, have a tear welling up in their eyes - I know that they they need it, and when I give them a hug - thats what exactly what they get! - And I always get a nice little cheek kiss and back rub in return!
Oxytocin - well lets let those little molecules do their stuff in hugging conferences and don't let a little thing become the thing that overwhelms the bigger thing!
Relationships are what make the world go around,
big and small
and tiny and tall
and you know what makes this the greatest of balls
YOU Master and Mr & Mrs and miss Cool!
OXYTOCIN - who's fooling who!
Two hugs this evening; one from a lady I know quite well, and the second was a sponsee who had just complained about being hugged from another fella - so I hugged him just for a laugh and the first fella jumped back in and hugged us both.
It's pretty normal these days I think.
I am not a hugger, I don't even like shaking hands if I can get away with a wave from six yards away. I much prefer a polite bow to physical contact. No unpleasant history, I just dont like people. I would happily shake paws or hug a cat or dog.
Here we are, a happy huggy family!
Oxytocin galore around here!
Some of these dudes are the best in the world at it.
http://www.stylisheve.com/dogs-hugging-their-owners/hairy-hugs-from-mans-best-friend-20/
What an awesome picture @DhammaDragon!! I do love me some faces to go with the avatars
. The oxytocin is definitely abundant in your sweet family 
.