Discussing Buddhist philosophy with people of other religions
samson
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Also relevant to being a beginner in the philosophy of Buddhism...I'm finding it hard to explain my recent transition and interest into Buddhist beliefs. It's not actually all that sudden for me as I have always believed most of the Buddhist teachings , I had just never made the connection or decision to claim it as my own until now. Most of my family and close friends are Christian and don't seem to take Buddhism seriously. I'm finding it hard to keep calm and explain as I'm feeling attacked for daring to follow a different path. It's odd to me because I'm not very concerned of their chosen religion except for feeling happiness that they seem to have found a faith that helps them find their path in life. I try to say I'm sorry that's not what I believe or I respect that you feel that way but it's not right for me etc...it doesn't seem to be working...any advice on how to deal with such situations? It would be greatly helpful. Thanks!
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My advice, since you just expressed being a beginner and not really understanding it all that well (here and in your other thread), is learn more about Buddhism before even thinking about attempting to explain it to someone that's not a Buddhist.
If you must, tell them you're "exploring" Buddhism. That's honest and it doesn't leave you in the position of trying to teach them something that you don't know yourself!
Just accept that you and them do not see eye to eye.
Generally speaking, if one is open to taking Buddhism seriously, even if it is not their religion, they will remain that way. And if they are not open to it, they will probably remain that way.
So, I would just avoid the topic if they are negative about it. However, assuming you are an adult, I'd probably tell them to mind their own business (in a polite way, of course). You'll never please them. Probably.
More info needed, OP. Why did you feel the need to announce your choice to your family? Had they been accustomed to your accompanying them to church, or something? Some people in your position don't say anything. They just practice or study quietly on their own. Others say they're studying "Eastern Philosophy". Could you tell us more about the circumstances relating to your dilemma? It's hard to advise you without knowing what's going on.
In the past when I've been in a situation where I was expected to pray at someone's dinner table, or accompany a family or a friend to church, I just go along to get along. I don't see a problem. I didn't need to say anything. I try to appreciate the common elements Christianity shares with Buddhism, and focus on that. When I've been invited to Jewish seters, I look at it as a learning experience, and an honor that I was invited. My Buddhist practice is personal, so I don't talk about it.
Not sure what your situation is. I don't know if any of this is helpful.
Maybe what bothers you about their questions is that you don't feel strong enough in your Buddhism to answer.
Or maybe their questions reflect back your own beginner misgivings.
Keep studying and reading about Buddhism and don't feel the need to account for your beliefs.
In my circle, everyone knows I'm a Buddhist, and except for the occasional verbal sparring with my Mom, who is very Catholic, nobody ever questions my beliefs.
When someone shows interest in Buddhism, I keep it light.
I usually say that to understand Buddhism you have to know Siddharta's story, so I usually begin there.
That tends to fascinate people.
Don't.
You don't yet have the calm or skill. Debates here sometimes get heated. Why? Attachment.
In the school of hard knocks, I once learned that discussing comparative spiritual persuasions was a contentious business... so I kept my mouth shut.
Later, it became apparent that discussing comparative spiritual persuasions was about like going to lunch with a friend: You both scanned the menu and discussed personal preferences, ordered and ate. Everyone needs food ... there is no contentiousness necessary and certainly no moral high ground. Nourishment is nourishment, even when it's cockeyed.
You could try discussing the similarities between Buddhism and Christianity. For example "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and "love thy neighbor", etc. This is Buddhist philosophy!
It's not really an announcement, I'm just not hiding it . I have been leaving articles and such open on my laptop that I've been studying and also I guess there has been a noticeable shift in my attitude and so a few people are noticing. So when I get asked what is going on, I've been honest. You are all absolutely right I don't know enough about Buddhism yet to have a completely whole or educated discussion. I have a feeling once I am a bit more educated , I won't be as bothered when I'm asked about it. Thanks guys :-)
I have a good friend who is a Christian, and she took a class in Comparative Religion for her BS. She knows I identify more as Buddhist than anything, and I asked her what came up in her class about Buddhism. Over our shoulder another staff (we were eating lunch) said "Oh, you know Christianity and Buddhism are so much alike!" and my friend went off (she's a gentle person) about how they couldn't be MORE different. She's the least insulting person on the planet. She said from what she learned in the class, Buddhism is the MOST depressive, impersonable, negativistic and pessimistic 'religion' she'd ever learned about. She was very open to listening to me. I found myself 'reacting' by shaking my head and looking astonished at each point she made. I am a good communicator, but I was unable to articulate myself well at all. It was very uncomfortable! I'm sure I looked like a beached salmon and sounded like one too.
I too thought "I am in no position to say what Buddhism 'is', I'm too new to it, that must be why." I'm not so sure anymore if that is WHY, or completely why.
I think I had such a hard time BECAUSE of what (little) I've taken to heart from the Buddhist path. Think about that for a minute.
@Hamsaka She might as well have been saying reality was depressing compared to the things she believed!
Even plain atheism without any religion, subscribing to a naturalistic worldview, would seem very depressing compared to the live-forever-in-eternal-bliss & purpose-based existence decided by an all-powerful Father figure of Christianity (at least to believers).
Nothing you'd have said would make Buddhism as pleasing to Ego/Self as Christianity is, so don't be hard on yourself.
That's why there's so many religions anyway, right? To sooth the existential angst of humans?
(Throw in the common misunderstandings about Buddhism (such as the nihilistic view), and it would look positively hellish to a Christian...)
She admitted 'what is the point of any of this if there is no God?" Perhaps that's why no words came. It would have been wrong speech, whatever I managed to say, and that is considering the whole context of our relationship and what I know of her personally. She needs God and I ain't about to say a thing against that.
Pretty much nothing could be said to me to cause me to 'question' the veracity of my experience of Buddhist practice, not even by another Buddhist. Mainly because I haven't clamped on to one tradition versus another and dispute any human being who claims to be 'in the know'.
Good analogy @Toraldris. Of course that's what she was saying, in so many words, and what can you say to that? It wasn't a conversation worthy of happening, 'what is the point without God?' . I don't roll like that
but I don't doubt her earnestness. We are all in different places. Reminds me of Ourself and his comment about engaging with the relative while dwelling within the absolute.
I have found recently with one friend in particular, that we end up debating the different matters that we both believe in regarding religion or anything along those lines. He is very defiant if I try to explain why I do not follow his path. Time and time again (especially with those of the Christian faith ) it seems that I run into fear and anger. Psychologically I see it in such a way that I can understand. I see someone who is confronted with thinking about things that Christianity doesn't require a person to think about normally. Things that can make us all uncomfortable. The reality of what is. The reality of what isn't. The reality of what we do not and cannot know. When I see people like this, I feel a sense of empathy. I think that because I'm trying to understand fully what he is feeling and saying, that I can sense his fear. To me, at that point, I will usually back off from the conversation.
That is very good! I have, in anger, pushed past that point a couple of times and ended up regretting it severely.
It is not a nice thing to see someones Faith fall apart.
Not my brightest moments sorry to say.
So I recommend to keep firmly to your conviction but try to stear conversation towards common ground instead of cracking skulls.
Cheers!
This is the core of your difficulty. Once you are on the same track of core understandings there is nothing to define or defy.
http://appliedbuddhism.com/2010/08/18/can-you-be-a-buddhist-christian/
I would not worry too much about talking about Buddhism. Be polite, brief and humble. Rather, find out what the correct action is based on your practice of Buddhism in each and every situation you find yourself in. Then perform that action. Wonderful things happen when we do that.
As I've grown older I see that good people are strikingly similar regardless of their persuasion or belief. I've seen wonderful, humble and compassionate folks amongst Buddhists, Christians, Muslims and Agnostics. I no longer see any reason to discuss religion and philosophy with them-- all I want to do is encourage them in whatever it is in their life than brings them closer to God or whatever you wanna call that principle that spirituality seeks.