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Homeless and panhandlers?
Amthorn
Explorer
I live in a city with many homeless people and panhandlers. I know for a fact that many of them are drug addicts and/or con artists.
How do you deal with panhandlers? Is it wrong for me to pass one by with change in my pocket? Many of them are clearly suffering immensely.
How do you deal with panhandlers? Is it wrong for me to pass one by with change in my pocket? Many of them are clearly suffering immensely.
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One person I know mentioned that his father took this approach. Rather than giving a homeless person a handout, he would take them to a local diner and buy lunch for them. This way he could rest assured that they weren't buying booze with the money. And he got to spend some time with them.
In my city, I don't have to deal with them often. When I do run into the homeless, I usually give them a little something, even if it might be for something unskillful. Even addicts need to buy food.
This question comes up from time to time. My answer is this: The Buddha advises to give wherever you feel inclined to give (SN 3.24); and while some gifts bear greater fruit, every act of generosity is meritorious, even those with a selfish motivation (AN 3.57, AN 7.49). So my advice is to do just that, give wherever you feel inclined.
As for myself, whenever I give money or whatnot to someone on the street, which I occasional do, it may not always be a gift that bears the greatest fruit; but when I give out of compassion and kindness, I'm not really thinking about what I'll get out of it as much as I'm hoping that it will help relieve some of the suffering the person I'm giving it to may be experiencing, whether it happens to be food, money, or what have you.
I don't know how people will use my gifts, or if it my giving helps encourage them to remain on the streets (though I doubt it), but I tend not to think about it. Since I have a job and a roof over my head, I don't really feel that I'm in a position to judge what someone who has neither does with a dollar or two I may happen to give them. I honestly can't imagine how much it sucks to be homeless and hungry, especially in the winter.
And if you want to give but worry about how other people are going to use your generosity, you can always donate your time and money to homeless shelters, food banks, etc.
That is a good idea, to give when you feel moved to give - the thing is, if they catch you at a moment when you don't have anything much to give or you just in a mood that you don't feel like doing it, you have to have a pat response, and stick with it...when it's inconvenient, it's not a crime to say sorry, you don't have anything right now...
there was a period of time a year or so ago when it seemed like everywhere I went, panhandlers etc., would walk up to my car and ask for change and I would invariably give what they asked for which usually wasn't much - I think they learn the skills of how much they can ask for where people won't be annoyed, and just hit people up for a small amount x _____.
It's interesting how some will give a reason they need the money, like for the bus or one guy gave this long-winded explanation which I forget what, but he asked for a buck or two and I had a buck or two in change in my ash tray, so we chatted quite a while and I gave him what I could.
The key is, once you give something (money especially because we hold onto it for dear life) let it go. Once you gift it, it is no longer yours to wonder or demand to know what is being done with it. A gift has no strings attached.
You might assume, but you do not know what a person is doing with it. They might be going to get high. or they might be saving for rent. or just lunch. or maybe their children are at home, hungry.
Give freely and openly and with your heart.
@zombiegirl posted a video in the what-has-made-you-realise-there-is-more-than-one-view thread that touched on this exact thing @karasti.
None of us can possibly know how the money is going to be used so best to hold judgement and just give with an open heart.
I finally settled in my mind that I have charities that I contribute to within my budget. Homeless panhandlers is not one. I prefer organized charities. Aside from contributions I send in, in most of major grocery stores here they have little slips you can pick up that they ring up and then donate the funds to the local food bank and soup kitchen; I do use that every once in a while.
I do what I can, and I'm not going to let a panhandler make me feel guilty.
Well, if you don't think the homeless and beggars you see deserve your charity, then don't give it to them. But you're not doing that now, so what you want is to understand why you feel guilty. You're conflicted. You say both that many are con artists, and that many are suffering immensely. Which is it? One deserves your charity and the other one doesn't.
Have you tried taking the position that whether or not they deserve your charity is irrelevant? Some people are homeless because of addictions, some because of mental problems, some because their great paying jobs vanished when the bankers got too greedy. Most times, it's a combination of everything that reduced them to holding a cardboard sign. You don't know. Maybe they have a little apartment they can go home to or maybe they have a cardboard box in the alley. You don't know.
So many people if not most don't give anything. To begin with, our minds want to believe that we will never be reduced to homeless beggars. The knee-jerk reaction of our minds is to tell ourselves those people must have done something to deserve their condition or they're maybe lying to us and not homeless at all. It takes away the fear and makes us feel better. It's the flip side of the well-off ego thinking we deserved our success.
So give or don't give, but don't tie your mind into knots about whether they deserve it and extend your scorn or blame them for making you uncomfortable. If you're reduced to begging from strangers, then you're suffering. Given the right circumstances, that could be you. If you had to stand and beg for money all day, you might seek the numbness of drugs or booze also. If I was counting on the sympathy of strangers who will judge how needy I was, I'd wear rags, not my best clothes, and try to play on people's emotions. I expect those beggars to be smart enough to do the same. So they're con artists. They're just people trying to make it through the day.
If you practice Metta, you should try to give back to the world and help other people in some way. Maybe it isn't handing out change (I for one rarely carry any cash at all). The whole point is to look at someone like a beggar and see a fellow suffering human being, not an alcoholic who deserves their punishment or a con artist lying to get something off you.
A lovely girl has taken to sitting outside my local supermarket in the evenings. First time I saw her, I sat next to her to find out why she had a "homeless" sign by her as no-one in this country needs to be homeless. It is because she doesn't want to leave her dog. Dogs are difficult to home along with homeless people - perhaps absurd but it's the case. Very few landlords want pets in their rented premises and shelters don't offer space for dogs either.
She is on benefits - same as me - but she tells me she gets less than me as she is not a British citizen. No idea whether there is any differentiation for other EU citizens. She has a truck she lives in, with a wood burner.
As I am blessed enough to have a home of my own and have benefitted from a back-payment of my benefits, I have bought a few things for her - bananas, tinned sardines and some Christmassy things. But what she seems to value most is that we have a laugh together when I see her and we can talk about her boyfriend's battle with drug addiction and how her dog is (had been suffering from a bad leg).
I have been so touched to see people passing and just giving her a packet of cigarettes as they have noticed she smokes or a hot drink to keep her warm on these cold winter nights. Every time I ask whether she has eaten, someone has popped into the fish and chip shop opposite to get something for her.
I don't know whether she'd rather have money. I do know it should affect her benefits if she is given cash. But, where the language barrier is not too great, I will always choose to speak to people rather than just handing over my spare change (if any!).
I usually try to feed them. The Buddha was mendicant and supplied with food. Who knows if/when I may run into Maitreya
. We are all deserving of metta, charity, dana, whatever. If I'm too good to give and share, how dare I be grateful for what I have.
My point of view, as someone who has been through a battle with drugs and alcohol, is that I am potentially harming them by enabling their drug habits. There is nothing harder than watching a beautiful being slowly deteriorate in the throes of addiction to meth and heroine, which are huge problems in Seattle right now. I've overheard people who have asked me for money for "something to eat" chatting with people later about their dealers and different ways to get high. It's not a judgement, in my mind, but an observation of sickness. A healer does not feed a sickness, he finds a way to treat it. So after some contemplation, when someone asks me for money for food I am going to offer to buy them food, as well as give them some information on the local social services available (Seattle is known for great social services; no one starves here). I just cannot in good conscience enable the awful disease of addiction. People OD in this city all the time, sometimes because they have no options, other times because they have no one to care.
That said, there are many clean-cut, well kept panhandlers I have seen who will always refuse the offer of food and help. If this is the case, then I will assume they have no need of my generosity. I very seldom carry cash or even change, anyway, so it's not an abject refusal on my part when I say I have no cash.
I give them money. I'm an recovered alcoholic. I know there's an almost 100% certainty they're going to buy booze or drugs with the money I give them.
It may give them a short term escape from their hellish lives but it may also get them to their rock bottom where they're forced to do something positive with regards their drink/drug problem. Suffering is a great teacher; the best in my experience. Rock bottoms are called 'gifts' in A.A.; the gift of desperation.
Or it may kill them, putting them out of their misery, sooner, rather than dragging it out.
Luckily enough, being an alcoholic myself, giving them money gets their attention and gives me an opening to start a conversation with them and I'll let them know where the local A.A. meetings are and how wonderful it would be to see them there.
I recently gave a guy some money - who was just sitting outside of a shop begging - and I bent down to stroke his dog and asked, "How are you?" And as he started to tell me I interrupted and said, "Hey, not you, I was asking your dog!" and he laughed, and we had a good chat.
Anyway, my point is, I give money and don't feel bad about it. My sponsor tells me to never get in the way of a man and his rock bottom.
And who the heck am I to decide what they should do with a gift?
I will buy them a meal as they are usually found outside of shops. I also carry extra water bottles with in the warmer weather to hand out.
That's a great idea! I sometimes buy a couple of bottles of cold water and hand them out here too. It can get unbearably hot in summer!
I was happy to see the local council here make a move to open cinemas and pools for free to the homeless over summer.
http://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/jan/07/homeless-to-get-free-entry-to-movies-and-pools-to-escape-heat
wow, that's awesome that they'd do that, @Bunks. It's pretty much illegal to be homeless here, and they certainly won't let you into the pool!
Just my two cents.
Even drug addicts and con artists need a few bucks here and there. They actually DO eat. Sometimes. Give to give to the needy, cuz giving is the right thing to do
I don't know how people become homeless in presence of proper warfare by govt.
But it is very easy to be homeless now days due to recession....
In poor and developing countires the situation is even much worst.
But i enjoyed to read comments that showing kind and mercy in heart towards fellow unfortunate people and many of you are
really willing to help people.
>
If only it were 'proper welfare'.
Let me give you an example.
Couple one, apply for housing benefit.
One person works, the other is on no benefits or jobseeker's allowance - because partner works (minimum hours, 16/week, minimum wage).
So they do NOT qualify for housing benefit.
Second couple apply for housing benefit.
One person works, earns a reasonable salary, annual income 19,000.
Second partner, stay-at-home parent.
They have child benefit.
They have tax credits.
They have heating allowance.
They therefore DO qualify for housing benefit.
Because couple 'A' do not drain government resources, they do not qualify to have assistance.
Because couple 'B' avail themselves of entitled Government resources - they DO qualify for assistance.
This is no joke.
Oh yes, even in First-world, so called wealthy and affluent countries, there are homeless people, who by rights shouldn't be homeless.
(Well, nobody should be; but hopefully you'll understand what I mean....)
Actually, it's all relative.
I cannot in all honesty agree with you, in a black and white way....
Well, I decided to go do some volunteer work with an outreach program a couple days a month, hopefully it makes a difference.
Believe me, it will.
We have panhandlers everywhere in the city I live and honestly if I've got it to spare, I give it. They might be using it for drugs but they might not and if my one dollar will give them a meal then its worth the risk. I didn't need that dollar anyways. Sometimes there are panhandlers right next to each other but first come first serve sadly, wish I could do more but I can't.
When we have the resources, I like to make a dozen sandwiches or so, head on over to one of the bridges where the homeless congregate and have a picnic with them. It adds an element of human contact and for me, humanizes them.
There's a panhandling fellow downtown who holds a sign that says, "Too Ugly for Prostitution". His name is Joey and he's a meth addict. He's got three teeth left and his face is terribly scarred. He's lived on the street now for 14 years - he's had his meth addiction almost as long. Joey used to be in the aerospace industry, married with one daughter in an upscale part of Seattle. One day he came home and found his wife in bed with his neighbor. She divorced him and got custody of their daughter. She remarried and left the country - he has no idea where his daughter is and lost his mind along with his family, home and job.
It's sad, but I'm glad I know him.
That's a sad but too often told story @yagr
In my opinion, there are three "classes" of people who deserve the most of our support; people born with a disability, seniors and veterans. Most of the people you see on the street fall into one of these categories. They need a lot more than your spare change. The best you can do is support an effective nonprofit or other agency that is effective at helping people with a disability. They are very few and far between.
A person who ends up 'on the street' is, to me, OBVIOUSLY 'disabled', somehow.
'Disabled' vis a vis they are a kid who came out as gay/lesbian/some such other difference repugnant to their parents/community
'Disabled' vis a vis they simply can't compete in the job market due to innumerable issues one can't begin to elucidate
'Disabled' due to some clinical mental illness that we've yet to find decent side-effect free treatment for
and so on.
According to some studies, you'll find an unnaturally high number of ex-service personnel (up to 10% of all the homeless) end up living on the streets (and in prisons too). At least this is the situation in the UK, but it wouldn't surprise me if it's the same in other countries too.
The thing about spending a lot of years in an institutionalised environment is that it makes it difficult to settle down to civilian life. Add some PTSD, the lack of support (that comes naturally in a service environment), a drink problem, or whatever, and there's a recipe for disaster.
Strange though it may seem, I used to be jealous of people who lived on the streets; I thought "Look at them, not a care in the world!"
It looked quite an attractive lifestyle to me at one point in my life.
I understand that sentiment completely, @Tosh , particularly as (and I attach no drama or request for kind or empathetic sentiment) it' still very much a possible reality scenario for my H and me....
As the saying goes, "I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it left...."
There are people who are homeless by choice. Not the majority, of course, but they are out there. Of course, there lives are different than the typical homeless person-often they usually have options: families, good friends, and so on. One of my sister's closest high school friends is homeless by choice. She lives in a box behind Sears in a suburb of LA. But she comes home to Minneapolis often to visit her parent, she has places to go in dangerous weather, and so on. I'm not sure what is behind her choice, but there is a whole community of them there. She quite likes her lifestyle.
I don't know anyone personally who chooses this lifestyle but I've heard tell of them.
As well, I've heard interesting social commentary (ahem) "If'n they wanna live like 'at they deserve it, ant no skin off me." (cue US back-country drawl)
Hmmm. How we get from ______ to 'they deserve it' is one of life's most puzzling human false logics.
Russell Brand via Louis CK describes how the phenomena works beautifully:
It's like we're trained - culturally - to view the homeless as deserving of their plight.
Added: I found the Louis CK clip; it's very good (2.5 minutes long):
Having been homeless at one time I would like to assure you that those acts of kindness as well as kind words are very much appreciated. Many homeless people I knew would avoid shelters at all costs. It was always safer amongst our peers.
I have been homeless before and while it may seem odd, often more than food or money - clean, dry and warm socks are awful sought after. I keep a six-pack of socks in the glove compartment to hand out.
Mrs Tosh and myself headed into our small town for breakfast this morning and on the way home we passed a bloke, in his mid-thirties, dirty, and bearded begging for money under some shelter (it was raining).
I passed, then returned with the last five-pound note in my pocket and as I put it into his hat, he looked up and I checked his eyes. They looked surprisingly clear. I shook his hand, he thanked me, but I said nothing, and returned to Mrs Tosh.
I told her I didn't think he was an alcoholic; his eyes looked really clear, but she said he was sat there with a bottle of something (which turned out to be an non-alcoholic drink). So I returned to let him know where the local meetings were. I explained that I was a member of A.A. and I know a lot of guys who were on the streets and if...
He stopped me, smiling and said he didn't drink!
I nearly asked for my five pounds back.
Or at least, some change.....
Y'all know the old saying..."A very kind man and his money are soon parted."
If this statement is true, in order to not be parted from your money, would you have to be unkind?
I haz cunning plan . . .
I'd rather be a @Tosh than a Scrooge McDuck anyday.