TED Talk: Matthieu Ricard says altruism is the solution

Vastmind

What is altruism? Put simply, it's the wish that other people may be happy. And, says Matthieu Ricard, a happiness researcher and a Buddhist monk, altruism is also a great lens for making decisions, both for the short and long term, in work and in life.

http://www.ted.com/talks/matthieu_ricard_how_to_let_altruism_be_your_guide

Vastmind

He said something that struck me...."You can get burned out with empathy"

So true......I know alot of people that haven't got past the empathy....to the loving kindess or action. They get burned out/feel helpless....

person

In case benefitting others isn't motivation enough in itself there are good reasons for being altruistic from a selfish perspective.

Hamsaka

@Vastmind said:
He said something that struck me...."You can get burned out with empathy"

So true......I know alot of people that haven't got past the empathy....to the loving kindess or action. They get burned out/feel helpless....

That is a tough transition. I've struggled with this so much in my career as a nurse, my empathy was turned up too high and I'd end up feeling burnt out on my job, and then the 'backlash' of empathy fatigue would hit and here comes apathy , I can't muster it up to 'care' enough. All my 'cares' would get used up, as if there were a limited supply.

Empathy turned up too high can lay you out flat so it makes sense that it's not an end in itself. It has to 'go' somewhere. I've never thought of that before.

David

That's the drawback to empathy for sure. It's all about feeling for others. We don't say we need to have empathy for our self first because we already feel our feelings.

It picks us up high when everybody is happy and it rams our teeth in the rocks when everybody is in pain.

I've never heard of compassion burn-out though so the compassion can care for that which may be overloaded by empathy.

Being a caregiver myself, I find it helps to do some Metta style meditation for me aimed at the suffering I would ease for others and the suffering I cannot ease.

Does that make sense?

Jeffrey

I think equanimity helps. So you can just be calm in the face of surrounding of others suffering. I have never been a nurse but I have lived with a partner who was an alcoholic and was quite miserable. I found that I could be cheery and share that calm with her and just let her be miserable. (not my current girlfriend, incidentally)

Rowan1980

@Hamsaka‌ I know the feeling. I bowed out of being a volunteer advocate at the local rape crisis center after six years because of the feeling of being burned out. In retrospect, I think cultivating equanimity would've helped. I'm still slowly recovering from it.

anataman

After 16 years (and 2 years out from the madness) - I've decided it might be time to go back to the world of medicine- meditation on the material and spiritual becomes a bit stagnant after a while!, after all what is it all about?

...\lol/...

Vacillating - but, with a completely different perspective, I might just go for it - not that I will gain any financial benefit, it's about the role I might play in others' lives.

lobster

Empathy turned up too high can lay you out flat so it makes sense that it's not an end in itself. It has to 'go' somewhere. I've never thought of that before.

One of the marvellous dharma teachings is empathy, care, compassion for ourselves. We must be aware of our real capacity for giving and how it may be leading to as you say burn out. If this happens we have not been empathetic and caring to the person we know best and have the primary duty to.

Hamsaka

@Rowan1980 said:
Hamsaka‌ I know the feeling. I bowed out of being a volunteer advocate at the local rape crisis center after six years because of the feeling of being burned out. In retrospect, I think cultivating equanimity would've helped. I'm still slowly recovering from it.

Until we are Buddhas, I don't see how a person could just endlessly 'do' this kind of work. Until we are Buddhas there does seem to be a limit on the ole energy stores.

I had to accept this was true for me. Like, ram it into my head like a defense lawyer's final statement to the jury . This, after the prosecution concluded "But all those other nurses are still singing Zippedy Doo Dah after twenty years working with cancer patients!! I should be LIKE THEM!!"

Sorry. I ain't the one. And I mean that, I really AM sorry.

Cinorjer

In my contemplation of compassion and empathy, I have to say my own mind goes in circles. Taking the broad view, the ability to shut down our emotion called empathy is a survival trait. Doctors and Nurses and others who work with suffering patients learn to shut down the emotional reflex to some extent, or you'd be driven crazy by the end of a bad shift. You focus on the job in front of you and that suffering person becomes a list of injuries or tasks. You don't really see the person anymore. It used to be worse. Before modern techniques the person would be awake and screaming while you cut off an injured leg.

But it has a down side. We can selectively shut down our empathy. A torturer uses the same inborn ability to directly cause suffering for the sake of causing suffering. Those people in the CIA who tortured the mostly innocent men after 9-11? They still loved their family and would have been horrified if they saw someone drowning a bag of kittens. They weren't monsters. They were all too human. But that person could go to work and drown "prisoner xyz" because he no longer saw the prisoner as a suffering being.

What I can't figure out is, how much of this is a choice and how much automatic due to something we're being forced to do.

nakazcid

@Cinorjer said:
But it has a down side. We can selectively shut down our empathy. A torturer uses the same inborn ability to directly cause suffering for the sake of causing suffering. Those people in the CIA who tortured the mostly innocent men after 9-11? They still loved their family and would have been horrified if they saw someone drowning a bag of kittens. They weren't monsters. They were all too human. But that person could go to work and drown "prisoner xyz" because he no longer saw the prisoner as a suffering being.

I both agree and disagree with your statements. To the torturers, they're not causing suffering for the sake of causing suffering. They're trying to wrest information from those they regard as inhuman monsters who would gladly kill their families and countrymen. They've successfully dehumanized and demonized the object of their "interrogation" so they feel justified in tormenting them. They are indeed, all too human.

silver

@Cinorjer said:
In my contemplation of compassion and empathy, I have to say my own mind goes in circles. Taking the broad view, the ability to shut down our emotion called empathy is a survival trait. Doctors and Nurses and others who work with suffering patients learn to shut down the emotional reflex to some extent, or you'd be driven crazy by the end of a bad shift. You focus on the job in front of you and that suffering person becomes a list of injuries or tasks. You don't really see the person anymore. It used to be worse. Before modern techniques the person would be awake and screaming while you cut off an injured leg.

.......
>

Well said...I think my mind is right behind yours in that respect.

I can't help but think about the surgeon who did my triple bypass June 30th of last year, and how a few of the hospital staff mentioned that he was 'arrogant' -- I figured being one of the best and being considered arrogant may have a connection -- can one be 'the best' anything and not be looked upon as arrogant?

Cinorjer

@nakazcid said:I both agree and disagree with your statements. To the torturers, they're not causing suffering for the sake of causing suffering. They're trying to wrest information from those they regard as inhuman monsters who would gladly kill their families and countrymen. They've successfully dehumanized and demonized the object of their "interrogation" so they feel justified in tormenting them. They are indeed, all too human.

Yes, and that's the problem I see with calls to "altruism" as the solution. People have throughout history done terrible things in the name of the greater good. It's not like the Golden Rule isn't supposed to be central to most world religions, for all the good it does.

The torturers thought they were the good guys, the ones who didn't refuse right off the bat because being the good guy means you don't torture even if they "deserve it". The Taliban think they're the good guys. We're all Good Guys.

I grew up with the Superman Ideal. It broke my heart to see the American Way is just as hypocritical as any other. We're the good guys. There's a line we're not supposed to cross, and situation be damned. We don't torture and we don't get some cowardly government lawyer to redefine torture and then say it's OK. But that's just me.

nakazcid

I think if everyone worked on compassion they would end up as better human beings, solving many of the world's injustices. The problem is convincing people that practicing compassion towards others will actually make you happier. Most folks see some form of materialism as the path to greater happiness.