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Competitiveness
mmo
Veteran
How do you deal with competitive people at workplace? It is like someone who looks (Sneaking around may be) over your shoulder to find out what you are doing? Is it a good thing to compete back? Is it worth it? Or am I the competitive person so I am seeing myself in others?
1
Comments
Only you know if you are the competitive one. Often (but not always) the negative qualities we point out in others is something we have to work on ourselves. What are you worried about? If it is possible the person is looking to steal ideas from you to take credit, that is different than competing. If that's not a worry, then what? Perhaps they are curious and it's a good opportunity to strike up a conversation about what you are doing rather than assume they are competing with you?
Competition, in general, doesn't have to be a bad thing. But it can be a pretty fine line. We can use it to push ourselves, but we can also use it to feel superior to others, to put others down, to gain support for the ego.
Interesting avatar picture to go with your question.
Competitiveness is the active comparing of two values.
It can be part of sufferings creation or it's cessation.
What do you think creates one over the other?
Just passing by and started talking about what I have on my screen when i am not expecting. It just bothers me because of no privacy. Striking a conversation with that person means letting that person part of the work I am doing. He could just be curious. I don't know.
@how, It is a nice pic. And all animals with fluff, fur or pattern is just amusing to look at.
Why assume the worst of them and try to shut down possibilities rather than be open to seeing what he wants? You never know where great friends, fun collaborations or amazing opportunities present. How many do we never see because we are afraid and trying to protect ourselves from imaginary problems?
Some people just operate differently in the world. It doesn't mean they have nefarious desires. Often, they are just curious or interested. Sometimes, I think we tend to protect things that don't need protecting. I do the exact same thing sometimes with one of my kids, who is very curious and social. He likes to see what I am doing on the computer and my initial reaction is to tell him to quit looking at my screen. But when I open up to him instead, I find opportunities for conversations and discussions that wouldn't have happened otherwise.
What do you really have to protect, and what are you afraid will happen?
-Excuse me for butting in, but it seems to me the point you are getting at is an important one. I try not to compare myself with other people; as you indicated, that can be a prelude to suffering. I do however, at times engage in competetive activities. To my mind, the trick is to leave one's ego at the door; of course that isn't always an easy thing. So I suppose the answer to your question could be: Ego.
@karasti, I prefer working on my own and share whatever I am doing when I am ready. I just don't want any invasive investigation when I m in the process of doing my job. If it is manager it is fine but he, a co worker, ain't one. The thing with him is that, he just seem to have this habit of involving in every matters at work to keep himself updated, which is fine. But he can't ask people to send him other unfinished work to him, which isn't even remotely related to what he need to know. He just doesn't have that authority.
He doesn't seem like a great listener too to open up to conservation with him, only put himself at the centre of attention when I do have one with him. Just have a long look around at my work to make sure that he know how it is and doesn't really contribute anything useful. And this only interrupts me. I avoid going over people stuff uninvited, it is just giving space to people. It is different from my altitude. Family member going over one's personal space is fine as they are part of us. You have make a point about opening up to people. But this is something else. There are a few position changes and to take any opening opportunities, he is just trying too hard to put himself at forefront of everyone. He does this by sneaking over people, not by proving himself at his own work.
Scare him! I did this with one at my work,
he had the same attitude..
Ask him:
"What do you want?"
I dont think he will say: Hmm iam cheking if you are doing your work correct?
Scare him in some kind of way, for example go and do the same as he do...Ask him stupid questions about his work, stay behind his back and watch..
People like this are very afraid..they want to be perfect so challenge him.
Then he want come anymore I think.
What we don't know is whether this company values solitary work or collaboration. Many modern corporations value collaborations. I personally know of one -- Booz Allen Hamilton (a notable government-related corporation) that requires collaboration. And if one can't collaborate, they don't stay. Many companies today work that way.
I believe the word 'compete' comes from some Greek or Latin word which originally meant "To progress together".
I know when I'm in a running race, and someone behind me is trying to beat me, it makes me run harder. And when I run harder, it makes the person behind me run harder, so regardless of our finishing positions, both our times will be faster than had we ran alone.
We therefore both progressed together.
I don't think competition is all bad, especially if it makes everyone progress further than what they would had they just been alone.
We make a lot of assumptions about people when they don't think/act/work/talk like we do. The truth is, we all perceive, process, understand and react/interact with the world in quite different ways. It doesn't make people who do so differently than us wrong. It doesn't mean they are untrustworthy. All you can do is investigate how you feel and be a little cautious so he is not stealing your ideas and taking credit. Beyond that, some people cannot as easily control their personality quirks and they rely on us to accept them for who they are. He also has to accept you being so different from him.
I really try to take it one moment at a time, focusing on what or who needs attention right now. Trying to piece together the whole picture and my place in it seems like a hopeless endeavor. I also attempt to keep an open mind, more on the listening than the talking side...my opinions aren't helping me here and are best laid down in favor of acceptance.
The outcome is uncertain. I may have wisdom to share here in the future. Or maybe this will make me a monk. For now, just running with it until I fall or hitch a ride somehow.