Innapropriate Behaviour
lobster
Crusty Veteran
It is raining outside. How wonderful. 
I find funerals funny. 
That does not mean I laugh when attending or wear a clowns nose, it just means solemnity and pomposity are not something I take seriously. There is a fine balance between appropriate gravity and levity.
At the moment in the UK, a spoof documentary on paedophiles would be innapropriate. Even at the time it was controversial. 
Knee jerk reactions, peer pressure, the tension of very disturbing/disturbed behaviour is often addressed through humour. However consensus reality ensures we do not act inappropriately.
Breaking convention in Dharma is not crazed or innapropriate. To be helpful it requires the right conditions and skills, not just taboo breaking for its own sake ...
How do you understand the relationship between 'crazy wisdom'/skilful means and the need for conventional sanity/appropriate being/societal norms?
Comments
I appraise what the other person's reaction might be. If the possibility exists that someone would be offended, I don't say it.
^^^ I feel that is good advice. (Noble) silence is often the most appropriate behavour.
I have made the mistake of taking others feelings for granted. Of failing to acknowledge their grief sufficiently. Or not respecting the importance of their beliefs.
I'm sorry for the times I've done it and I'm really trying to be more mindful around situations when it can happen.
I can't see a time when crazy wisdom is appropriate. Not by me.
Hay lobster! Can you send some of that rain out here to the American far west?
On funerals, point made
On the spoof - Poor taste is poor taste...
As for breaking convention in Dharma, you hit the mark.
Now to the question you raised:
The relationship between 'crazy wisdom', etc., is a balance and varies from culture to culture. Sakyamuni broke what was then considered the conventional sanity, set a different standard for appropriate being and changed the societal norms of his day. It all comes back to balance. If your life is balanced, if you understand the society you are in, you can positively change the norms of that society.
Of course, the converse to that is a life out of balance or where there is no or poor understanding of the society you are in, or both, you will change nothing or it becomes chaotic - a kind of 'peace, love, pass the ammo' situation.
Just starting the ball rolling.
1) I am not interested in writing a 30 page essay.
2) No reasonably sane person would want to see my 30 page essay.
3) I kind of look forward to where this thread will eventually go.
I pass the baton or the ball or whatever it is....
Ask your local long term nationals (aka Native Americans) Too wikid?
Perhaps so.
Chris Morris is IMO very much ahead of public opinion. He directed a film about four hapless suicide bombers ...
Such a film is not shown when the UK is on critical terrorist alert and remembering 7/7
Abuse of children, civilians, bank managers and non Buddhists are serious issues. Always.
Kindness is always a good policy.
You are quite right, Buddha was a nice Hindu boy gone wrong (Praise Jesus) ... onward ...
-Agreed; yet for me it is sometimes a challenge...
"Sometimes"...?
Luxury! For me it is ALWAYS a challenge.... You should hear some of the inappropriate thoughts I have as a Moderator....
Ooops, there's another one, see....?!
@federica, sometimes I remember to be silent, sometimes I don't. Remembering and then forgetting is the story of my practice :-)
I think that's a good thing. I've heard them called "oops moments" and that they are really good for re-mindfulness.
I want to say it's Thich Nhat Hanh but I can't remember which books and google was no help.
Good call.
The assumption is always that others are like us or really, really should think like us. However even we have no real eternal certainties unless stunted. What we are when children, intoxicated, ignorant, hormonally challenged, filling varied roles or just in different situations or cultural settings can be temporarily very different. That is what I find.
Maybe we still feel our mature reasoning, dharma centered behavour, hypocrisy, integrity, critical voice, monkey minded certainty, beginners mind, informed opinion, meditational insight etc is something we are aware of? I guess we are aware but often we find flaws quicker in others or are we particularly empathic?
Crazy wisdom is not an excuse for innapropriate behavour. It is implementing what is appropriate, whatever the assumptions or limited perception of others. It does not come without responsibility and independence. So in a sense enlightened wisdom is never coming from 'me', therefore it is not crazy or limited by labels. Of course I would say that ...
I don't find funerals funny, though there is often a light hearted acceptance of the situation during the celebration of life part of a funeral, and jokes and laughs are appropriate.
The gravity of the circumstances can call for a deeper empathy than I can feel sometimes. I hope that before I am done here I can really feel the pain of others and express it freely. To me that would be real attainment.
Funerals for First Nations people are a eye opener.
Most First Nations families experience loss and grief with a frequency that is hard for others to grasp. Yet to see grown men weeping openly as well as the women is something that I can feel some strange envy for. Why are my feeling so stifled? It's not because I'm laughing.
I'm not nearly at the point where I can engage in "crazy wisdom" with random people without making a mess. However, with people I am close to I sometimes say or do outrageous things, with good results. That definitely has the power to wake one up from their funk. But with great power comes great responsibility...
Some of the few people who still do rain dances are what @robot calls 'First Nation' people. I have no idea if they are still effective.
I witnessed on TV a similar dance, when some Maori people did a traditional rain dance to welcome the British queen. The reporter noted the rest of the welcomes. Then went on with no sense of irony or possible correlation to report how sadly the beautiful day was interrupted by unexpected rain ...
Emotions are often the basis of interaction. They are often stifled. For example I never expressed anger. I was never allowed to whilst growing up. I felt this was a good thing. It was not. I was in fact angry but it was stifled, leading to innapropriate convoluted expression.
I feel some Western Buddhists are attracted to dharma because of its 'detachment'. For me anger is a good thing, just as sadness expressed openly might be a good aspiration for others.
Being sad, crying, laughing, getting angry, being overly empathic, emotional etc is something we have to find and deem as appropriate to our path of tears [dukkha] and to the situation ...
There is nothing wrong with emotions. You are right, our emotions are part of what make us compassionate human beings. The key is to allow them to flow and to not be controlled by them. For example: You are angered by reports of the abuse of women and children in your city. This can lead to your developing or help to develop centers of refuge for abused women and children. Conversely, you can let your anger consume you or lead you to do something foolish, even violent. **We always have the choice **to follow the path of the Bodhisattva or be led by our emotions, in this situation, the path of Shura.
remember to give yourself permission to be happy
Wot sort of heretical non-dukkha is this? Can we not cling to our conflicted emotions until ready to move on? Have a little compassion dude!
... meanwhile I have 'my little dharma ponies' to feed rainbows to ...
@lobster
BTW, thich nhat hanh wrote a whole book on anger. It's great.
Many thanks @0student0 TNT TNH books are very well written and the ones I have now given away I certainly found useful.
It is a lot of work to not be an a-hole. I think that was one of the first things the Buddha said to the young woman who brought him that bowl of rice and milk.
Hey lobster - Cling to whatever you want. You will anyway. When your ready, just pop a brewsky, kick back, and enjoy the ride.
helluva brewski! so many directive days. louder than livens
because I am a champion and I'm gonna hear you roar!!!
All about the base
Body is required. seriously that photoshop etc.
Personally I am all about that base.
I'm trying to learn the bass guitar, it's a big old semi-acoustic. I used to muck around on 6-string guitar but thought 4 strings might be easier.
4 strings? Luxury!
... and now back to the the mythical dharma norms ...
I'm all about the base!
because boys like a little booty to here in their eyes...
ivery inch of you is perfect to perfect from the ench into their down....
perforct you know i'm you alll of their troble...
4n strigs ?
cause every inches you is perfect from the weutise from you to top!
every inches from you is to the perfect to dhe top
it's all about the base
i'm all about the base
Now you mention it, one string would be easier [sound of guitar strings being hacksawed off]
sorry. had a little too much alcohol.
I WAS beginning to wonder, @Jeffrey ....
Drunk texts.
.... Eh. * shrugs * ..I've received waaaaaay worse on my phone, hahahaha
Have a waffle, @Jeffrey
You good today?
I feel foolish. I will try to get back up again. A waffle would be good. Thanks
@Jeffrey Pah!
You had too much to drink. You posted drivel. You deservedly/karmically feel foolish because you were. Shame on you!
However more shame on me for judging your behavour.
We all fall. We all get up. Your posts have shown increased depth and wisdom, directly related to your practice. That is what is important. 
On my Tantric shrine I used to have a beer for Tara. For some special occasion I drank the beer. I did not go and follow up with a whole case. So I rarely have a beer on my shrine because I am the master of beer.
If I placed a bar of chocolate on the shrine, it would be gone by the end of the day. Therefore it really is not suitable for Tara. Could she/would she help me? Not by the bar.
So I tend to have fruit and water as an offering. Tara is happy. I am happy.
thanks lobster. i am back to drinking soda and thinking I am 'holier than those drinkers'.