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Humility and Esteem
lobster
Crusty Veteran
Do you have low self esteem? Is this a psychological problem? Personally I think low self esteem is a subtle form of subliminal arrogance by monkey mind. In effect belittling an important person.
Rabbi Simcha Bunim of Peshicha (1765-1827) used to say that everyone should keep a piece of paper with “for my sake the world was created” in one pocket, and a piece of paper with “I am but dust and ashes” in another.
The Rabbi (PBUH) was expressing an essential spiritual truth: each individual being is important, but not self-important.
http://www.existentialbuddhist.com/tag/humility/
Outwardly, humility is not always stressed in Buddhism. In other paths it is important. What is it? How and why does it arise?
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Comments
Confidence with humility is an admirable thing.
There will always be those, however, who through their own jaded and confused opinions, will read arrogance and conceit.
The Dalai Lama is a humble yet confident human being (although I would venture to suggest there may be many times when he is consumed by self-doubt).
Others view him as an egotistic know-it-all.... But this is largely borne out by their own personal interpretations and views of him as a person, and his position...
A human being, beset by so many outside influences, in the forms and shapes of fellow beings, is always going to be the subject of observation, comment, criticism even to the point of malicious gossip. This is entirely subjective, and these conclusions are always arrived at via perceptions fuelled by personal prejudices.
If a person has low self-esteem, they have permitted an outside experience to cloud their internal self-perception....
I think one of the challenges a person must face, is having the confidence yet humility, to rise above such detritus, and be true to themselves...
Well said @federica, the Dalai Lama is a perfect example of balance between the extremes and reality ...
For me the ongoing humility development went through several stages:
Acting passively and subserviently. I feel this suited the passive part of my passive/aggressive psychology and was therefore making a psychological imbalance a spiritual quality. Not real. Monkey minded justification.
Pre-enlightenment I realised I did not have the qualities required for awakening, I could at least change my behaviour to help someone who was awake, if the situation arose ... This was more real. Serve the truth rather than have it inflate or promote the ego tendencies.
Post enlightenment I felt a growing sense of unworthiness, the 'I am dust' spiritual syndrome
An increasing devotion to service and the Mahayana ideal, in a sense this is the unfolding of the second rabbinical paper ...
Now I tell everyone how humble I am, just in case they doubt it is possible ...
[I iz so humble]
Here is part of a training methodology:
http://www.dalailama.com/teachings/training-the-mind/verse-2
Time to go bow to my master 'mara' the very naughty ...
I think one of the keys to growing up (put in more genteel language, perhaps) is learning not to be afraid to fuck up ... getting to a point where the obvious becomes obvious: You will fuck up; get used to it; enjoy yourself.
Easier said than done, perhaps, not least because together with such a recognition, there needs to be some willingness to shoulder the responsibility; to correct what you can; and to learn to live with the rest.
Just noodling.
It seems to me humility and esteem are two sides of the same coin...
Indeed. How so? Say more. As @genkaku alludes mistakes are acceptable/forgiveable ... even by us
Quite often I find particular ideas are presented better in other traditions. New Age systems often incorporates half digested truisms that may initially be seen as wisdom. Are they however moving the person forward or making a caricature 'humble' seeker? Following a tradition is a commitment to the language, behaviour template and other aspects that co-ordinate our efforts. This is different to indoctrination systems that attempt to narrow the proscribed reading list, approved teacher list and other narrowing.
Are self cherishing/esteem/confidence part of humility? How many have mistaken wishy-washy passivity for humility?
Indeed. How so? Say more.
-We are at once nothing yet we are everything. We are at once gods and cannibals. We can destroy and lay waste and then give birth to a new day. Each moment we can become more or less than what we now are. We can create the Sistine chapel and then have a wet-fart and crap our pants.
On another level, I would argue our perception of the world is due in large part to the output of binary opposition determinations. Thus, one can't have the highs without the lows, or in this case humility without esteem...
Interesting.
The kabbalists say, 'for every virtue there is a vice'.
In zen I doubt if they care about the difference ...
I wonder how equanimity and emptiness transcends or dissolves this dualism ...
Perhaps it is unnecessary to do so. Proper practice shows us ourselves. How can anyone fail to find humility with sincere practice. Without a sincere effort to walk the path, humility remains elusive.
Stressing its importance to one who can't hear is a poor use of effort. Stressing it to someone who has a sincere practice is unnecessary.
This reminds me of a teacher who said the the effect that "I am equal to the greatest person in this land, as are you. But do not forget that the beggar on the street is equal to you and me."
One can only be truly humble if one has high self-esteem.
Of course, self-esteem is not the same as arrogance or "being full of oneself" (an aspect of fundamental darkness)...
But then, I state the obvious. Oh well.
Coffee's worn off again.
Peace to all
Interesting point @yagr well said. As always thanks guys. We live and learn.
Iz plan
Interesting that he did not say: I am equal to the beggar on the street. But do not forget that the greatest person in the land is equal to you and me."
Maybe it's just me, but that conjures up a subtly different notion....
And I should know....
-Agreed. As an aside, perhaps there is no difference...
-It seems to me this dualism is probably an illusion; just because our perception is based on binary opposition determinations doesn't make it accurate :-) My take is emptiness subsumes most everything, even stardust; that's why we are at once nothing yet we are everything...
I see your point.
I have heard the saying that 'the king is the beggar and the beggar is the king' or vice versa. It is also, of course that the student is the teacher and the teacher is the student. The difference, if any, is in the perception, not the reality. [someone will probably come up with the 'What is reality?' thread - oh well.]
In truth, I have known some street folk as well as some so called 'movers and shakers'.
I noticed, beneath the surface, the street people often showed a level of dignity that the 'movers and shakers' were hard pressed to match.
Peace to all
Well spotted.
Most of us are easily distracted by the superficial (naked men jumping as decorative sock puppets, beautiful women smiling an inanity or the latest wise guru cliche)
We confuse content with container.
Part of the reason stillness and equanimity is stressed again and again in maturing dharma is because the capacity to critically evaluate our own and therefore others content is to not be distracted by the superficial ...
... oh look a magical butterfly ...
A matter of perspective, a matter of nuances...
Poor self-esteem and arrogance are both in the eye of the beholder, and our passing judgment on others is more revealing of the state of our own self-esteem than it is of the person we point the finger at.
Sometimes, people with poor self-esteem would like to think of themselves as humble, when in fact they are mere doormats.
And they love to call the self-confident person arrogant, when in fact it's plain envy, which once more begins and ends, in the eye of the beholder.
Humility to me comes from respecting others as much as we respect ourselves.
Because we can acknowledge the difficulty and harshness of our path, we are able to acknowledge our neighbour's strife.
Self-confidence is stemmed in a "we're in this together" attitude.
Self-confidences extends the hand to the other in order to tread the path together and help ease the bumps in the road.
Self-confidence is not judgmental. Low self-esteem is.
@lobster, that magical butterfly is fascinating! Can we adopt it?
[lobster is sent to back of dharma class]
Wrong speech?
Cruelty to imaginary culinary creatures? 
Adoption papers applied for ...