Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited November 2015
@dooksta123 said:
Thanks, guys. I'm a mess. I need to relax.
Run a bath.
Add bubbles.
Grab a copy of "The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid" * or "I, Partridge (we need to talk about Alan)" *
Get in.
Read, until your sides ache and the water's cold.
Get out.
Understand that however long you spent in the bath, it was the best possible way to spend that time, and you thoroughly enjoyed yourself and forgot about everything else.
(* Rated as apparently 2 of the top 20 funniest books ever written).
@federica said:
Grab a copy of "The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid" * or "I, Partridge (we need to talk about Alan)" *
Knew some useful dharma tips would arrive eventually ...
It’s a bit burned,” my mother would say apologetically at every meal, presenting you with a piece of meat that looked like something — a much-loved pet perhaps — salvaged from a tragic house fire. “But I think I scraped off most of the burned part,” she would add, overlooking that this included every bit of it that had once been flesh.
Happily, all this suited my father. His palate only responded to two tastes - burned and ice cream — so everything suited him so long as it was sufficiently dark and not too startlingly flavorful. Theirs truly was a marriage made in heaven, for no one could burn food like my mother or eat it like my dad.”
― Bill Bryson, The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid
@caz said:
Practice is spurred by motivation, the reason why your practice has waivered is because your previous motivation was one of self interest and samsaric...if you want strong and stable practice you should make it motivated by renunication.
And why exactly would I be motivated by renunciation if I don't know what's on the other side of the rainbow?
The otherside of the rainbow is freedom from suffering, never having to be reborn in samsara again, residing in a pureland with pure beings, having 3 bodies, being able to help all sentient beings through emanations, being inseparable from great bliss and emptiness.
A motivation of renunciation is based upon Samsara not upon definitive knowledge of enlightenment.
This is typical of any sort of infatuation, whether we are talking about romantic love or religion. Our brain gets excited and starts pumping out endorphins that make us "high" over our "love". Eventually it dies out.
The enchantment you seek is merely another form of attachment. It is not part of the path that leads to enlightenment. In fact, I heard a Tibetan monk warn us that this type of emotion is a distraction that interferes with getting somewhere with our practice.
Do your practice. Just keep on doing it.
It can take 3-8 years before the first glimmers of true comprehension begin to dawn.
So be patient.
And persistent.
@FoibleFull said:
It can take 3-8 years before the first glimmers of true comprehension begin to dawn.
[lobster faints] Say it ain't so! Poor @Tosh has completed 51 days of practice and wants 'bonus points'. I have not practiced since yesterday but today is day 1 ...
@dooksta123 said:I also was extremely compassionate, volunteering at a soup kitchen once a week and doing my job motivated by compassion.
I know I can get a bit hacked off with life at times; I think that's the nature of life!
And there's lots of things that I'd like to be different, but no-matter what's happening to me (good or bad), one thing that I've got is feet that's smarter than my brain.
As an example, quite often, I'll think "Oh, I don't really want to go to an A.A. meeting tonight!" You see, I don't go to meetings anymore to stay sober, I'm already sober, but I go to meetings with the intention of helping another alcoholic, maybe a newcomer, and to do a little service (make coffee, help set up the room, help clear away, etc). So no matter what my head tells me, my feet ignore that, and I normally end up at the right place.
Why not get some clever feet on yourself and just go and practise compassion somewhere, like you did that the soup kitchen? Real hands-on compassion, face-to-face, is powerful stuff.
I know if I've had the opportunity to be helpful to someone I always get a buzz out of that. Maybe I'm an oxytocin addict these days? I don't know, but it seems to help me.
I meditated for an hour, once, maybe 4 years ago, after years of meditating but never on a seriously good daily streak. You'd have thought I was trying to carry cinder blocks up a mountain by the level of effort it took to just stay still the last 10 minutes, but I did it.
I've been trying to reestablish daily sitting the last 2 weeks by something pretty simple: a little calendar on my desk where I cross off the day only after I've sat for 10 minutes. That's pretty much it. It's a battle of wills every day, just over 10 minutes. I spend more time on Twitter than that, but still it goes.
You probably thought the site owner had some great insight, huh? Nope, just me down here struggling to achieve even less.
My teacher is useless to me. When I ask him a question, usually he'll just say, "you'll have to figure it out by yourself. I can't do it for you" and "you're in 'first grade' and aren't ready to ask those questions." More often then not, I get no real answer.
That is the answer....maybe not the one you want to hear, but YOU are the one who has to figure it out. The Buddha said be a lamp unto yourself, the Dhamma is a guide, not the answer manual to life's final exam.
In a previous post @federica said: "Buddhism can't do it for you.
You have to do it.
Buddhism doesn't offer you answers and results. YOU do that."
From reading the OP it seems like you're overwhelmed, trying to figure out ALL THE BUDDHISM right away, as though it were a rubik's cube that just needs twisting enough for all the sides to fall into place.
In my humble opinion, you need to chill, yo.
Take a breath. You don't need to "figure it out" it's not a puzzle. It's a journey. Slow down, take a walk.
Meditate every day, or don't. Practice mindfulness, or don't. Read the sutras or commentaries, or don't. You're letting what could be the means to your freedom be that which crushes you. Put on the breaks.
By the way: are you familiar with Against the Stream? Founded by Noah Levine, I've found it to be a great way to get grounded in "common-sense," modern language, no "supernatural" stuff, practical Buddhism. Not to dismiss traditional ways (and Levine certainly does not, he's very respectful and knowledgeable) but if you're looking for a way to re-connect with the Dhamma by stepping away from a traditional mode of teaching, maybe it will help.
OP, what do you mean, "believe in Buddhism"? What's to believe in? Buddhism is non-theistic. There's no bearded guy in the sky, no supernatural stuff, no dogma (usually). The only questionable thing about it (in the sense that some people do question it) is the thing about reincarnation/rebirth. But you don't have to interpret the teachings on rebirth to mean reincarnation, or life after death.
IMO what Buddhism is, is a system to help you de-stress (one translation of "dukkha" is "stress") and come to know yourself better, and to better yourself by helping others, cultivating compassion and the awareness that we're all in this mess called "life" together, we're all coping with the ups and downs together. Therefore, any barriers between us are purely artificial and are conjured by our own confused minds. Buddhism is about learning to see things as they are by getting one's own ego and projections out of the way. It sounds like you're projecting a lot onto Buddhism, that's getting in the way of your progress.
There's nothing here to "believe", IMO. There are simply the facts of life, and a method for leaving stress behind, and increasing contentedness, and selfless kindness.
I do meditation simply because it gives my mind a break from the usual busy-ness; it's like a mini-vacation for the mind. I don't expect more out of it than the respite it provide me. You seem to be loading a lot of expectations onto the meditation concept, and onto Buddhism in general.
You might enjoy reading the books by Stephen Batchelor, "Buddhism Without Beliefs", and "Confession of a Buddhist Atheist". His is a brand of no-muss, no-fuss down-to-earth Buddhism. Noah Levine, is good, too, as someone else mentioned. He leads a movement called "Dharma Punx" that gives a contemporary, hip, and practical spin to Buddhism. You might like that. He has a book out by that title, too, I think.
Comments
Run a bath.
Add bubbles.
Grab a copy of "The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid" * or "I, Partridge (we need to talk about Alan)" *
Get in.
Read, until your sides ache and the water's cold.
Get out.
Understand that however long you spent in the bath, it was the best possible way to spend that time, and you thoroughly enjoyed yourself and forgot about everything else.
(* Rated as apparently 2 of the top 20 funniest books ever written).
Knew some useful dharma tips would arrive eventually ...
It’s a bit burned,” my mother would say apologetically at every meal, presenting you with a piece of meat that looked like something — a much-loved pet perhaps — salvaged from a tragic house fire. “But I think I scraped off most of the burned part,” she would add, overlooking that this included every bit of it that had once been flesh.
Happily, all this suited my father. His palate only responded to two tastes - burned and ice cream — so everything suited him so long as it was sufficiently dark and not too startlingly flavorful. Theirs truly was a marriage made in heaven, for no one could burn food like my mother or eat it like my dad.”
― Bill Bryson, The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid
The otherside of the rainbow is freedom from suffering, never having to be reborn in samsara again, residing in a pureland with pure beings, having 3 bodies, being able to help all sentient beings through emanations, being inseparable from great bliss and emptiness.
A motivation of renunciation is based upon Samsara not upon definitive knowledge of enlightenment.
This is typical of any sort of infatuation, whether we are talking about romantic love or religion. Our brain gets excited and starts pumping out endorphins that make us "high" over our "love". Eventually it dies out.
The enchantment you seek is merely another form of attachment. It is not part of the path that leads to enlightenment. In fact, I heard a Tibetan monk warn us that this type of emotion is a distraction that interferes with getting somewhere with our practice.
Do your practice. Just keep on doing it.
It can take 3-8 years before the first glimmers of true comprehension begin to dawn.
So be patient.
And persistent.
[lobster faints] Say it ain't so! Poor @Tosh has completed 51 days of practice and wants 'bonus points'. I have not practiced since yesterday but today is day 1 ...
I know I can get a bit hacked off with life at times; I think that's the nature of life!
And there's lots of things that I'd like to be different, but no-matter what's happening to me (good or bad), one thing that I've got is feet that's smarter than my brain.
As an example, quite often, I'll think "Oh, I don't really want to go to an A.A. meeting tonight!" You see, I don't go to meetings anymore to stay sober, I'm already sober, but I go to meetings with the intention of helping another alcoholic, maybe a newcomer, and to do a little service (make coffee, help set up the room, help clear away, etc). So no matter what my head tells me, my feet ignore that, and I normally end up at the right place.
Why not get some clever feet on yourself and just go and practise compassion somewhere, like you did that the soup kitchen? Real hands-on compassion, face-to-face, is powerful stuff.
I know if I've had the opportunity to be helpful to someone I always get a buzz out of that. Maybe I'm an oxytocin addict these days? I don't know, but it seems to help me.
I meditated for an hour, once, maybe 4 years ago, after years of meditating but never on a seriously good daily streak. You'd have thought I was trying to carry cinder blocks up a mountain by the level of effort it took to just stay still the last 10 minutes, but I did it.
I've been trying to reestablish daily sitting the last 2 weeks by something pretty simple: a little calendar on my desk where I cross off the day only after I've sat for 10 minutes. That's pretty much it. It's a battle of wills every day, just over 10 minutes. I spend more time on Twitter than that, but still it goes.
You probably thought the site owner had some great insight, huh?
Nope, just me down here struggling to achieve even less. 
That is the answer....maybe not the one you want to hear, but YOU are the one who has to figure it out. The Buddha said be a lamp unto yourself, the Dhamma is a guide, not the answer manual to life's final exam.
In a previous post @federica said: "Buddhism can't do it for you.
You have to do it.
Buddhism doesn't offer you answers and results. YOU do that."
From reading the OP it seems like you're overwhelmed, trying to figure out ALL THE BUDDHISM right away, as though it were a rubik's cube that just needs twisting enough for all the sides to fall into place.
In my humble opinion, you need to chill, yo.
Take a breath. You don't need to "figure it out" it's not a puzzle. It's a journey. Slow down, take a walk.
Meditate every day, or don't. Practice mindfulness, or don't. Read the sutras or commentaries, or don't. You're letting what could be the means to your freedom be that which crushes you. Put on the breaks.
By the way: are you familiar with Against the Stream? Founded by Noah Levine, I've found it to be a great way to get grounded in "common-sense," modern language, no "supernatural" stuff, practical Buddhism. Not to dismiss traditional ways (and Levine certainly does not, he's very respectful and knowledgeable) but if you're looking for a way to re-connect with the Dhamma by stepping away from a traditional mode of teaching, maybe it will help.
OP, what do you mean, "believe in Buddhism"? What's to believe in? Buddhism is non-theistic. There's no bearded guy in the sky, no supernatural stuff, no dogma (usually). The only questionable thing about it (in the sense that some people do question it) is the thing about reincarnation/rebirth. But you don't have to interpret the teachings on rebirth to mean reincarnation, or life after death.
IMO what Buddhism is, is a system to help you de-stress (one translation of "dukkha" is "stress") and come to know yourself better, and to better yourself by helping others, cultivating compassion and the awareness that we're all in this mess called "life" together, we're all coping with the ups and downs together. Therefore, any barriers between us are purely artificial and are conjured by our own confused minds. Buddhism is about learning to see things as they are by getting one's own ego and projections out of the way. It sounds like you're projecting a lot onto Buddhism, that's getting in the way of your progress.
There's nothing here to "believe", IMO. There are simply the facts of life, and a method for leaving stress behind, and increasing contentedness, and selfless kindness.
I do meditation simply because it gives my mind a break from the usual busy-ness; it's like a mini-vacation for the mind. I don't expect more out of it than the respite it provide me. You seem to be loading a lot of expectations onto the meditation concept, and onto Buddhism in general.
You might enjoy reading the books by Stephen Batchelor, "Buddhism Without Beliefs", and "Confession of a Buddhist Atheist". His is a brand of no-muss, no-fuss down-to-earth Buddhism. Noah Levine, is good, too, as someone else mentioned. He leads a movement called "Dharma Punx" that gives a contemporary, hip, and practical spin to Buddhism. You might like that. He has a book out by that title, too, I think.
@FoibleFull said: It can take 3-8 years before the first glimmers of true comprehension begin to dawn.
3-8 years?! You were lucky! We could only dream of a first glimmer.