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I want to be more compassionate! What can I do?
dooksta123
Explorer
I practice metta bhavana just about every day when I practice. I find it extremely useful for lifting my spirit of kindness and noticably makes me more forgiving and peaceful. But I want to know what habits I should pick up that will help me radiate compassion to everyone! I've noticed that if I do something exceedingly compassionate, the evening meditation becomes very smooth and peaceful.
What do you do, even delivering a smile to all whether they're in pain or pleasure, kind or hateful...? How do you incorporate metta in any situation.
2
Comments
By putting yourself in the other person's place.
"How would I feel if I....."
Consider not their state, but their feelings and emotions, even those that might be hidden.
It's the hidden emotions that fuel the behaviour....
@federica advice is the sure fire method.
I feel the methods [list warning alert] include common courtesy and decency:
Part of the training is looking for opportunities to practice ...
@dooksta123 I like to see the connection between myself and others.
One thing is understanding that they are suffering. It opens your heart
Metta friend.
Pay attention.
Take responsibility.
"Walking the walk"
Practice,practice, practice and if this does not work then fake it until you make it, either way involves practice...
Help out in a soup kitchen, volunteer in an animal shelter...There are plenty of ways one can practice .....
reflect every night before bed if you did something compassionate and be happy about that if you did. also reflect on if you missed an opportunity to be compassionate.
@dooksta123
I want to be more compassionate! What can I do?
Perhaps....
In this fleeting moment, simply be open to the possibilities of compassion.
Here, matched to the degree that our conjurings of self verses others stays unsupported,
true compassion becomes possible.
Begin with small steps. Be kind when you find the opportunity. Learn by doing. As you go forward you will probably find your compassion was there all along.
Well said @grackle we are by nature, nurture and mature inclination compassionate.
It is a tendency, humanity, basic quality ... Iz more fun!
@dooksta123 You ask what habits you can cultivate to help you practice compassion. The most helpful habit I developed is to pay attention to the people around you and take time to communicate with them. You have to pay attention to someone in order to feel anything about them except for annoyance if they get in your way.
Say something pleasant to everyone you come into contact with for one day. Start with maybe the cashier where you buy your coffee. Then the coworker in the parking lot or the one you walk past to get to work. And pause long enough to listen to their reply.
You'll be amazed how much better it will make you feel, and sometimes just a friendly hello is enough to make their day.
Smile at people. This is very easy and makes a huge difference. Smile at clerks at the store when they have a difficult customer. Smile at the customer. It lends itself to a shared experience and immediately brings down tension for everyone. Smile, and help when the opportunity presents. Don't zone out and stay within your tiny world. Look at the people and the world around you with a wide lens. If there is a chance to speak, do so. But sometimes there is not, and when there isn't, a smile goes a long ways. Make eye contact. Make it so you are not always multitasking. If you are looking at your clerk in the eye and saying "I hope you have a nice evening" and you mean it, rather than saying it while you aren't even looking at them and are thinking about making dinner. Engage people, truly. It makes a world of difference.
As you do so, you connect with people and it will automatically increase your compassion for them. You will be driven to help when you can. Trust it and don't deny it. I did that last weekend and I still feel conflicted about it
I was driving home alone in a rural area with no cell reception. It was very cold, windchill was probably -25F. I saw a young man walking with a trash bag of clothes slung over his back and carrying his dog under his other arm. He was 20 miles from the nearest town or even home. I had an overwhelming urge to stop and give him a ride. But I was afraid for my safety considering the circumstances. I did, when I got cell reception back, call the police to do a welfare check on him, so hopefully they were able to help. But I still feel bad that I didn't trust my initial instinct and instead let my fearful tendencies take over. My brain tells me I did the best I could but my heart tells me otherwise.
Be more compassionate...
I don't disagree, but for me:
By putting my wife in the other person's place.
"How would I feel if she....."
drop 'I want to be', you will be more compassionate