Is there a thin line between love and hate?

gavenv

I have a question that I would like everybody to weigh in. The sharing of merit is a practice where one dedicates the goodness of one’s life to the benefit of all living beings as well as praying for a particular person but still some people don't cherish that and have hate in their hearts. Why????

how

@gavenv
Is there a thin line between love and hate?

Well depending on your definition of love & hate,
both offer the potential of extreme attachments, on either end of life's emotional teeter totter with equanimity smack dab between.

So they can appear to be as far apart as possible in one viewpoint and yet share so much in another, depending on your definition of either.

karasti

I'm a bit confused by your question. Are you asking why people hate even though others are sending them merit and prayers?

Well, for one, it's always been explained to me that it is not meant to be taken literally but more as a practice for yourself to extend good things in our life. We don't offer our merit to others in order to somehow erase something on their behalf. It's not like a coupon where if you offer so much merit that the person you are extending it to will turn things around. That isn't the purpose to dedicating merit. It's more like adding a single drop to a very large ocean with an understanding that perhaps your generosity or other good deeds can carry farther when offered outwards rather than held just for yourself to make you feel good. It doesn't mean the people you might envision as on the receiving end still don't have a whole lot of work to do. You cannot solve their problems for them. But perhaps I am not understanding exactly what you mean.

Love and hate can be a complex topic. Often, both stem from attachment and delusion. They can be quite similar, as you will often find those who hate do so as a manner of protecting something very important to them or in other words, something they love. Love, likewise, can lead people to make some pretty horrible choices as well. But the type of love that comes from our Buddha nature is not the same, I don't think.

Bunks

Yeah. Sorry but I don't understand the question either?

In Buddhism they often talk about two types of love. Attachment love i.e. I will love you IF you do things I find acceptable and Wishing love i.e. I will love you unconditionally. Most of our love at present is mixed with attachment.

lobster

@gavenv said:
Why????

Hello

Why do people have different emotions? That is because we are not all perfect.
Why do you think?

Jeroen

I think love is our birthright, we all come from love when we are born, and we get years of care and nurturing in our early lives when we are helpless. But I think some people grow a little crooked, they forget the love too easily and turn to other emotions and behaviour to get their kicks and fulfill their ambitions.

Unfortunately these people are not Buddhists and haven't put the time in to learn to manage themselves, and also don't have the motivation to go digging.

federica

According to psychologists and some scientists concerned with such matters, the line between love and hate is thinner than we might think.

Scientists studying the physical nature of hate have found that some of the nervous circuits in the brain responsible for it are the same as those that are used during the feeling of romantic love – although love and hate appear to be polar opposites.

A study using a brain scanner to investigate the neural circuits that become active when people look at a photograph of someone they say they hate has found that the "hate circuit" shares something in common with the love circuit.

The findings could explain why both hate and romantic love can result in similar acts of extreme behaviour – both heroic and evil

From here.

pegembara

Is there a thin line between love and hate?

When love is conditional as in "I love you because you make me feel good" the "loving" feeling can turn to hate when there is betrayal.

"True" love is unconditional as in "I am happy as long as you are also happy". Which type of love is "romantic love"?

The sharing of merit is a practice where one dedicates the goodness of one’s life to the benefit of all living beings as well as praying for a particular person but still some people don't cherish that and have hate in their hearts. Why????

Those people have little room for love in their hearts. For them there is a big gulf between love and hate.

David

@gavenv said:
I have a question that I would like everybody to weigh in. The sharing of merit is a practice where one dedicates the goodness of one’s life to the benefit of all living beings as well as praying for a particular person but still some people don't cherish that and have hate in their hearts. Why????

The two questions are indeed related in my view.

If there is a fine line between love and hate then it is vastly different from the love needed for such a dedication as it is still nurturing the disease of us and "them".

If love has an opposite in hate then we are still clinging to convention. In reality there are no opposites, just complimentary aspects of the same process/thing/stuff.

Seeing this clearly we can have compassion for the worst of us and know a love that is free from opposition and doesn't depend on anything.

lobster

Well said @David

Some people may think of them as deeply divided states, their outcomes may be very different but the essence of the arising as @federica mentions is very similar. One can turn to the other very quickly. They have a similar intensity.

However questions about emotion are best answered by observing their inherent nature through meditation and mindfulness or is that 'heart awareness' ...