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Bah humbug!
DairyLama
Veteran Veteran
It's coming up to that time of year again, that Pagan festival what the Christians pinched!
What's your approach to Christmas? Which bits do you enjoy, and which bits would you like to cancel?
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I'm Australian and in the UK and they have some weird things here that I don't understand (even though both my parents are English and I was raised with a good dose of it):
Turning on the lights. This is where a B-grade celebrity finds a light switch that turns on the street lights. Sounds like a waste of tax payers money.
The Christmas Jumper. This is a bizarre ritual where people who are otherwise extremely sensitive to any judgment wear the ugliest most garish sweater from the cheapest shop (usually Primark) - and wear it with pride!
Brussels sprouts for Christmas dinner. There are so many lovely beautiful vegetables at this time of the year but the English take one of the least palatable, over-cook it and in some sort of stoic tone, talk about how great tradition is.
Tee Hee!
You have captured the British xmas psyche @Tiddlywinds ...
My favoured bits are:
[left intentionally void] ... wait must be something ...
Very sweet.
That boy must be freezing his nuts off....
"White Christmas" every bloody year.... With bonga bom-dom Bing....
My least favourite song of the film is "Snow!" sung by Crosby, Kaye, Clooney and Vera-Ellen (the last, whose songs were all dubbed by Trudy Stabile). 'Snow' was originally titled 'Free' but Irving Berlin discarded title and lyrics, and adapted completely new lyrics to the tune....
I think even if totally "off-topic" the original might have been better....
"Snow, snow, snow, snow, sn-o-o-o-ow!
It won't be long before we'll all be there with snow
Snow
I want to wash my hands, my face and hair with snow
Snow
I long to clear a path and lift a spade of snow
Snow
Oh, to see a great big man entirely made of snow
Where it's snowing
All winter through
That's where I want to be
Snowball throwing
That's what I'll do
How I'm longing to ski
Through the...
....Snow!
Those glist'ning houses that seem to be built of snow
Snow
Oh, to see a mountain covered with a quilt of snow!"
Ugh, please.....!
I always quite enjoyed Christmas English-style while I lived there... the gift giving, the ritual of having a tree, the dinner, the traditional pudding. There are not many aspects of Christmas that I don't enjoy, even the shopping with all the crowds has something cozy, and the sales afterwards are ok too.
Returning an unwanted present during the sales crowds kinda sucks, but that seems a very small thing to quibble about.
And of course
Or some variation thereof... Dickens does always get an appearance.
What's 'bad' about Christmas? Not much! It's all good to me...ooh, except the fact that it's the dead of winter and celebrities and others seem to drop like flies: Castro, Florence Henderson, Leonard Cohen, William Trevor, Mentor Williams, Sharon Jones, Dr. Denton Cooley, Robert Vaughn, Ron Glass, etc.
The smell/taste of brussel sprouts....eugh. Might as well throw them straight down the toilet and cut out the middleman.
I lacto-ferment mine.... they then become palatable.... In fact, it's the only way I'll eat them.... delicious!
Here are Christmas 2015's lacto-fermented offerings, together with some cauliflower. My grandson devoured the brussels sprouts and didn't so much like the cauli florets...!
Do you have vegetables "up north"?
Luckily I'll be with my brother and he is averse!
Where else could we take out the middlepeople for Christmas? Where to begin?
Well grease and sugar are considered major food groups once one reaches the midlands. Anyway what do you think chips are made of and I have salad on me kebab.
Potatoes ain't vegetables. They would never lower themselves to consider it so... they's King Edwards, they iz....
Brussels sprouts are very nice with Indonesian peanut sauce... lovely. Often make them like that here.
Indonesian peanut sauce. Yum yum. What's your recipe? Might skip the BS and just have the IPS.
I love the decorations, the music, the initial jollyness everyone has (until they get stressed and hateful, that is). I love to give gifts and watch people open them, even knowing how fleeting the happiness is. I love having my kids under one roof and having Christmas morning breakfast with them. And playing silly White Elephant games at my mom's house on xmas eve. I like the santa ritual though the kids all know what the deal is.
I dislike in-person shopping, so I do it all online. We have to travel 2 hours one way to do much shopping, just not worth it. I don't like how crowded the parking lots are, the bad drivers willing to cause an accident to get closer to the door by 5 feet. I hate crowded, hot, sweaty shopping malls and people who are angry at long lines (despite contributing to the long lines). I dislike that my mom sets expectations for several days of celebration that people just get exhausted by. She has an idea of a perfect holiday in mind every year, but with so many people involved, it just isn't possible.
I wish people would let it go and just stay home when they are so crabby. And that they would truly consider what their idea of the holiday season really is, and focus on that rather than on meeting every desire on everyone's massive shopping lists. We decided years ago to stick to the "Something I want, something I need, something to wear and something to read" of gift giving for the kids. It works well. It kind of boggles my mind how many people hate the holidays. Maybe they need to look into why and fix it instead of just hating it every year.
One of my favorite rituals aside from decorating the tree with the kids, is doing a Yule log. We choose it from the woods every year and decorate it with some ribbon and pine cones and other such things and then we burn it on winter solstice and save some of the ashes for lighting the following year's fire.
I hear you but people who hate Christmas do it for a reason. I have the feeling it's the time of the highest number of suicides. Not all of us have family to celebrate with. If you were single, no kids, no parents, no siblings - how much would you enjoy Christmas?
I'm single with no kids. My father died as a child and in many ways that was the end of having a family. My mother is a long way away and she's a 'tough old bird' so not quite down the affectionate and warm end of care. Also, I'm in a foreign country where it's difficult to make friends (I've had more thought-provoking conversations on this blog in the past 3 weeks than I have in the past 3 years with the locals).
I remember liking Christmas but that was when my father was alive and I was 12. I'm now 50. It seems like a long long long time ago. oh, I guess it is.
@Tiddlywinds I wasn't talking about people who deal with depression and related issues during the holidays. I know people who struggle greatly and I absolutely understand where that comes from. Holidays are always bitter sweet as my older kids lost their dad when they were 12 and 6. We always include honoring him as part of our tradition. My husband and I both have fairly large families, so I cannot claim to understand where you are coming from. But wouldn't it be possible to involve yourself in other ways? I do know some people who don't have family who do such things. Who participate in Toys for Tos and other such programs where they "adopt" families or kids to spend time with during the holidays. Just a thought. There are many people in the same boat as you. Maybe there is a way to make a family out of each other? There can be more to family than just genetic ties.
I am talking in my post more about the types of people who do the whole game with their families but seem to hate it. They complain about buying gifts for people, they complain about spending time with people, they complain about everything associated with the holiday yet they participate in it. THAT I don't understand. I don't get why they go shopping and are angry and rude to everyone they encounter. I worked in retail for many years and some people are so incredibly hateful even when they are apparently buying gifts for their family. I don't know why they put themselves through that. Or everyone else.
Thanks for this. As it happens, I do have somewhere to go this year (My brother and family are in this country luckily).
Oh, some people love to complain. I work with someone who can barely say hello without a 'woe is me' tone creeping in. I know what you mean about the martyr thing. Bugs me too. Hard to remain patient with people like that I find. I keep trying to find in me what I find difficult about them. Others aren't so bothered so it must be something in me. Maybe it's just that I love to be a martyr but don't own up to it!
I work in retail, and having just been through "Black Friday" I can see how some people get crabby.
If women get crabby, you can bet your bottom dollar that it's because they've been lumbered with doing the majority of the donkey work, and won't have a fun Christmas day, because they'll be in the kitchen doing the whole Christmas roast lunch thing with all the trimmings, while hubby sits drinking his ale watching inane TV programmes and the kids are digging into their newly-opened gifts... I know many families all pitch in and help to lighten the load, but in my experience, it's actually not as common as one would think - particularly if the kids are teenagers, and they'd prefer to have their faces buried in their techno-whizz gifts, rather than rolling stuffing balls and pigs in blankets....
If men are crabby, it's normally because they hate shopping, period, full-stop. Particularly if they're trying to shop for their wife's present, and having to drag the kids around with him to choose a special surprise from them, that HE will have to pay for... I've seen both cases countless times.... And so many adults are already all "christmassed out" - given that stores began selling yuletide merchandise back in September... "well, it's for the children now, really, isn't it... I mean, I like it, but I'm not all that bothered any more...it's just another stressful time of year..."
And it's one day. Just one day. All this terrific build-up crescendo to an anti-climactic day which is over before you can say Ho ho ho merry Christmas....
To be honest though, (and I know you may not believe this) but I have the reputation of being the most cheerful, jolliest sales assistant in store. I've been mentioned countless times in Customer Feedback forms, and I love to sell... During a Food Tastings extravaganza the other day, we were offering our own-brand Port as a taster, and in the space of 3/4 of an hour, I sold 19 bottles.... And trust me, it's a really lovely little tipple!
So that put a smile on a few faces.....!
Following on from my "it's just one day" comment, we really need to think about that.
I mean, seriously.
If it is just one day - and it is - you need to ask yourself, why exactly, it's supposed to be so special. Why do we hang so much hope on 24 little hours? What are our expectations? Why do we have them? How far back have these expectations been rumbling in our conscious (sub- or otherwise)? Why SHOULD it be any different? How can WE make it different? Unique? Special? For others, and as it follows, ourselves...?
So it's Christmas. What else could we call it to make it less about something we do not purport to follow or have any vested interest in, and make it more personally special, for ourselves?
What's to do?
I love this paragraph. It's fantastic! You're a moderator on a Buddhist blog and actively encouraging people to drink. I just love how we all get caught in the middle. It's a real life situation of how we live in samsara and how we work with the Dharma and how we get caught in its conflict.
I don't encourage people to drink; I encourage people to buy. An awful lot of those bottles were purchased as gifts for others. And for the record, I did caution people regarding the alcohol percentage content... I qualify myself as a non-drinker, given that I probably have fewer glasses of alcohol than 5, in any one year....But a little sip of port with Stilton, is unbeatable, on Boxing Day.... Everything in Moderation. Including Moderation...
I'm sick off the whole "Christmas" experience to be honest, that's why I wont be celebrating it this year, I will have a nice quite dinner with my family, no presents no merriment, just plenty of time to sit back and reflect.
Why are you sick of it? Why would you celebrate anyway, in any year, if you're a Buddhist? I refer to my question above... what is it that makes it 'off'? How can we get it 'on' to a mutually agreeable and enjoyable degree....?
For many, it's a time of "unnecessary" stress, worry, anger, frustration, relationship break ups...All in the name of a person whom (according to what is known of this person) would no doubt be turning in his grave over all the fuss and commotion ....
I am so grateful my husband does almost all of our cooking. I usually do dessert, and it's done a day or 2 before. He does the rest. I do manage 90% of the shopping but I don't mind doing it, so it just works out. When I worked retail, it was mostly in Toys R Us, and most of the crabby people were those frustrated that their kid wanted the years biggest toy that had been sold out since October. Or those who come in the evening of Dec. 23rd and don't have much to choose from that they want. I've had people throw batteries at me and all sorts of things, as if I had any control over what we had on the shelves. One of my girl friends got punched by a male customer over a refused return. People just get nuts over wanting to play the hero. On the plus side, working there for so long I could tell you the #1 toys months in advance. I knew this year our son would put that one toy on his "want" item list and I bought it the day they were released in early October. Now you cannot find them and they are selling for 5x their normal price. Of course, only because crazy people will pay for it, which boggles my mind.
Personally, I prefer just finding a perfect gift for someone and giving it to them just them, whether it's December 25th or a random day in July. We don't buy a ton of gifts for any holidays or birthdays. This year even less so because we are going to Hawaii in June and that's going to have to count towards like 3 years worth of gifts of all occasions, lol.
We used to do the opposite, @karasti; that is, it was a token gift with goodwill and a seasonal hug, for Christmas, but the biggie presents were reserved for Birthdays/anniversaries. These were a person's special, unique and personal day, so it seemed fitting to make that one a more celebrated event... but each to their own. i think once we find a rhythm as to what works for us, we tend to make that a tradition... I think it was the late Queen Mother, who defined a tradition as ..."something that has been done for more than 2 years running...."
I've always kind of thought that it's the mom who should get the rewards of birthdays, we do all the work that day after all!
For birthdays with the kids we try to focus on experiences. We'll go skiing for the day as a family, or go to a movie and a nice dinner together. The birthday person gets to choose. My mom always used birthdays as an opportunities to get "needed" items which was horribly boring as a kid. I remember being like 14 and getting this brass and glass shelving unit because my mom said I was a "young woman now in need of such things" and it was probably the worst gift I ever got in my young perception. I wanted a cd player (this was in like 1991 when cds were becoming all the rage). It was one tradition that she had that I hated so I got rid of it. She was from a family that often lived in poverty so if you got a new dress for your birthday that was ideal. I understand better today where she was coming from.
Christmas in my family was the time to dare to dream because of the magic of Santa (I am 40 years old I still get a santa gift from my mom even now!) But it's a lot to put all your dreams on one crazy day which makes no sense. It kind of makes a kid feel hopeless to want something at other times of year because of how much focus is on Christmas. The year after my older boys' dad died, we went way overboard trying to in some way make up for his lack of presence. Because of that, the kids expectations went way high, being unable to understand that it was just a special year rather than the new bar for gift giving. So we back off and started the want/need/wear/read thing and that has brought the focus more to family and various small traditions and away from gift giving.
@Lonely_Traveller saith
I love brussel sprouts. So much that I have even come to resemble one - especially at Christmas time, when I turn an unhealthy green color and start to wrinkle up.
Just like Milarepa and the nettles. He became a Buddha within a lifetime, so maybe all your Brussels sprouts will make you a Buddha!
We would set a budget, like "not more than £50 per person" for the gifts. On a good year we'd spend over £200 per person we were buying gifts for, but always the gifts that were most appreciated were the ones that had a personal meaning. I once bought a pair of novels from his favourite author for my stepfather... they used to be released in the US about six months before they came to the UK, so by getting them imported and mailed from there I could surprise him.
So we would often end up with a huge pile of presents under the tree even though there were only three of us many years. What can I say we enjoy giving gifts
A lot of sprouts will make you fly, due to the gaseous propulsion.
Bah humbug to such extravagance. £50 per year is more like it.
This is a good recipe...
Dutch recipe for pindasaus (satay sauce)
Ingredients
200 g of Calvé Peanut Butter
3 tbsp. of ketjap manis (sweet soy sauce)
1 clove of garlic (crushed)
1 tbsp. of lemon juice
1 tbsp. of brown sugar
1 tsp. of ground ginger
1-2 tsp. of sambal oelek (hot stuff)
Preparation
First heat a little wok oil or sunflower oil in a non-stick pan and briefly fry the crushed garlic. Next add in the lemon juice, ketjap manis, ginger, brown sugar and sambal, and bring to the boil. Now stir in the peanut butter and mix into a creamy sauce. Allow the sauce to gently simmer on a low heat before serving immediately with ‘patatje met saté’ or ‘patatje oorlog’ (chips, Dutch style) or your favourite Dutch-Indonesian dishes, including chicken satay and ‘gado-gado’. Alternatively use as a tempting sauce over your choice of meat dishes.
https://dutchcommunity.com/2014/05/26/pindasaus-dutch-peanutsatay-sauce/
I imagine other kinds of peanut butter will work just as well, as long as they are not super sugary. Yes for Tesco's Ordinary, no for Skippy. I wouldn't use chunky varieties though, the usual texture of peanut sauce is smooth.
@Kerome I think if most people added up the entire year, it would come out to close to what some spend on Christmas. I mean, they just spread it out as opposed to one day, while others prefer to do it in one day. Neither is right or wrong, of course. There was a lady in the news here last year who got a lot of flack for a picture of her tree filled with presents. But it turned out, she used the holiday to buy most everything they needed because it was more fun to unwrap it, from clothing to personal care items to school supplies, they did it all on Christmas. I can imagine even school supplies are more fun when you get to unwrap them,
I can't imagine being the one to wrap them all though 
In the end, it's up to each person and family how they handle any holiday. The past few years I have gotten better at truly looking at what I really would use. There was always pressure for making lists (for myself and the kids) and with parents who are divorced, it was twice the work. I found myself coming up with things JUST to have a list to give and decided that was utterly ridiculous. I usually have a couple of things that I want and can't afford to spend on myself. I then send links to a couple of charities or the like and prefer they donate on my behalf. I did that this year, as a local family just lost their mother in a car wreck the day before Thanksgiving. She was their financial rock and she has 4 barely adult kids in college. They need help. I do not.
I get no joy from receiving gifts that I do not need, and I think there is a lot of that that happens at Christmas. I know the idea is "it's the thought that counts" but if you don't know me well enough to think of a gift idea without having to shop in the Walmart $10 gift idea section of imported crap, then just don't bother. Not out of spite on my part, but simply because it is a waste of money in an attempt to make it look like you are thinking about me. I'm seriously not offended to not get gifts, and find it more offensive someone thinks it's so important to get me something, anything, that they will buy a piece of junk out of obligation. No thanks. Gift giving makes us feel good, but I think it's important to do so skillfully as with anything.
Absolutely... in a way it is the other person's money you are spending, if you all stick to the set financial limit. You could have all spent the money on yourselves and financially you would have come out exactly the same, except that it wouldn't be nearly as much fun.
My take on buying presents has for a long time been to buy the things which the other person would like to have, but wouldn't buy for themselves. That sweater of which they said, it's so gorgeous, but I don't really need it, so I won't buy it. Or that new faux-leather-clad luxury notebook for the person who enjoys writing but always is toting around cheap spiral bound booklets. It's striking a balance between spending "their money" on useful things, and on the luxury they would never stretch to.
They don't all have to be huge gifts, just because they come from you they will have added sentimental value. But that they are appreciated in and of themselves is a good thing too.
@Kerome I agree. Some of my favorite gifts have been thrift store finds or home made items, because it was obvious they put heart and love into their efforts instead of just throwing money at the dollar section of a department store. In my 40 years, I can think of maybe a dozen or so gifts that really stick in my memory. Those are the gifts, I think, we are seeking to give. Kids are hard though, they don't understand that "happiness doesn't really come from things" idea. We don't buy a lot of gifts, we just try to make what we buy count. My oldest asked for nothing but some wool socks (he'll be 20 in a couple weeks). But he absolutely loves Griswold cast iron pans and as a college student can't afford to spend the money on 100 year old pans. So he is getting a couple of those and he will have them his whole life. I know he will treasure them, and be able to pass them on one day.
It's unfortunate that so many people get caught up in the # of presents or the $ value of it to think they have to meet or beat that goal every year. I have a friend who spends an extraordinary amount of money on Christmas because she set the bar that way when her kids were very young (they are still only like 11 and 9). The kids have the most fun gluing pipe cleaners to paper, yet she feels obligated to go into debt over holidays. Crazy to me.
@Kerome, Great, thanks!
Is it time to decorate the Christmas Bodhi tree yet?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bodhi_Tree
Where I live, the winter ceremonial calendar begins the evening of the 24th, and goes through "Kings' Day", January 6. Deer dancers and buffalo dancers exit the subterranean prayer room and wend their way to the central plaza of their communities, and dance. There can be several rounds of dancing, then a break for lunch for feasting. Guests/spectators are welcome to the feast table in people's homes. Then the dancing resumes.
These are my favorite winter holiday celebrations.
http://traditionalsubjects.com/tsimages/buffalo.jpg
http://cdn.c.photoshelter.com/img-get2/I0000.1QQ1XpvFvM/fit=1000x750/928703hx.jpg
.
Yeah, the old traditional Christmas dates... Too bad it's become all about merchants vending their wares. Keep It Simple, Stupid! Medoubts the Good Lord came into this world so that people would [have to?] spend money they didn't have on things that others did not need.
Nonetheless, keeping and displaying a positive and cheery attitude (despite one's misgivings about what's really going on) is essential for contentment at this essentially fraudulent time of the year.
Bah humbug.
Indeed.
I was hoping to have roast troll for Christmas but @federica has wisely denied me that dubious delicacy ...
I am planning a vegetarian roast dinner for Christmas Eve.
https://richarddawkins.net/2012/12/a-very-atheist-christmas/
Speaking of Bah Humbug, what's the deal with the "12 days of Christmas" gifts? Who in their right mind would be glad to receive or think it swell to give someone 23 various types of birds and the services of 50 people!? You might think that at least there are 5 gold rings, but they aren't even real gold, they are goldEN. If my true love gave me that load of #$%& I'd seriously have to reconsider if they really were my true love. Just get me a gift card to Walmart or something, I'll buy my own gift ffs.
Also male reindeer shed their antlers in the winter so Santa's reindeer are all female and have messed up names.
Their names are mostly genderless ... Dasher Dancer, Prancer, Vixen (A female Fox) Comet, Cupid, Donder and Blitzen... Pretty much neither one nor the other.... and Selfridges many years ago decorated their windows with depictions of the 12 Days of Christmas. The final window was one hilarious chaotic mess....