Letting Go

Bunks

I hope this post finds you all well? ?

I'm trying to work on letting stuff go. Particularly at work. My day at work has become more unpredictable recently and, as something of a controller, I'm finding it difficult to adjust.

Also, trying to let go without becoming apathetic.

Any help / thoughts appreciated as always ?

silver

Oh, I can appreciate what you're going through at work...I may be retired for about five years now, but the tension and aggravation can be brought back to memory in a snap.

Hmm...just become apathetic, without the 'pathetic'. Yeah, more a pun than help.

I'd say meditate on it - get a closer look at why you see yourself as a control freak (to use the modern vernacular).

Kundo

@Bunks said:
I hope this post finds you all well? ?

I'm trying to work on letting stuff go. Particularly at work. My day at work has become more unpredictable recently and, as something of a controller, I'm finding it difficult to adjust.

Also, trying to let go without becoming apathetic.

Any help / thoughts appreciated as always ?

I hear you. My work is like this currently too. I feel like I'm the only one who cares about the quality of work in my team at the moment ?

Atm, I'm doing guided meditation each night before I sleep. That's all l can manage at this stage. I think it's helping.......

Much metta to you my friend ❤❤

Shoshin

@Bunks
One the pitfalls of Dharma practice is when one thinks things are going well so well,
that one lets ones guard down, allowing old habitual patterns to reemerge...and before one knows it, one is back in the old comfort zone of self and others....

I have found remembering "Anatta" helps to alleviate the symptoms of clinging to concepts...

When one makes things 'matter' they 'matter'..... (a 'thought' is a 'thing')... So

Jeroen

I've found it useful when looking at letting go to consider whether things are beneficial or unbeneficial, and in what ways they are unbeneficial. Often when you're internally chewing on something it is often motivated by a negative mind state at heart... you may find desire or hurt pride or envy or something else which is motivating your obsession, and you may find that further feeding that mind state is not beneficial.

karasti

For me, actually visualizing the letting go seems to help. I had to do this with work the other day. i work from home, and usually put in time in the morning and evening. Had a heck of an angry customer late in the evening and had to wait until morning for input from the boss on how he'd like to handle it. So I was carrying anxiety around with me abut it, even though I logically knew there was no reason to. This is a guy who lives a thousand miles away, in another country even, so it's not like his anger had a direct impact. I only corresponded with him via email. But I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep if I didn't let it go for the night.

So I did a brief meditation where I visualized my negative feelings and anxiety and anticipation floating away in a cloud. Sometimes I visualize it getting hit by lightning, lol. It works well enough that I could sleep. When I investigated how I felt the next day, when the situation was resolved, I discovered it wasn't his anger that was bothering me, but rather my doubt as to whether my intial answer to him was appropriate considering his response back was so hostile. It made me doubt myself and whether I made the right choices. In the end, I did. I didn't say anything rude our out of line, I simply answered his question and he imploded. So figuring out my feelings around the issue helped, too. Next time I will be able to use that information to slow down and ensure my response is what I want it to be so I don't doubt it after the fact.

namarupa

@Bunks said:
I hope this post finds you all well? ?

I'm trying to work on letting stuff go. Particularly at work. My day at work has become more unpredictable recently and, as something of a controller, I'm finding it difficult to adjust.

Also, trying to let go without becoming apathetic.

Any help / thoughts appreciated as always ?

Stress is a part of every job unfortunately. Expect the unexpected?

paulyso

bunks,i was thinking,right intention or right thinking helps our livelyhood in the8-fold aspect of living.what has helped me is a word or phraise mantra in regard to right intention.some tidbit word or phraises.ease into the workday.through out,the day,i would say --energize,power through,finish strong.when stress,mental note,breathe.but im sure you can make your own mantra,or key word to direct the mind in different condition of the work day.mind-right intention--and breath.

Bunks

Thanks everyone! I have come up with a few techniques as well that have helped to some degree. It is just a bit of a crazy time here.......

genkaku

Funny how "letting go" has the capacity to reinforce attachment. After all, in order to let go, a person is forced to restate what, precisely, needs to be let go of and the result can be a dog endlessly chasing its tail.

Hard as it may be, perhaps entering more deeply into the topic at hand can help. Anything gets boring the more you hang around with it and who wants to be bored?

I once had an operation (hospitals refer to them as "procedures" these days) after which I was told to rest ... rest, as in watch TV. I tried. I watched TV till I was blue in the face and then realized how boring TV was. So I stopped. I figured I'd rather break the medical protocol and end up back in the hospital than subject myself to this drivel. So I went out and (carefully) laid some stones. I didn't end up in the hospital and the stones got laid and I didn't have to watch TV. Sometimes going TOWARDS the enemy is better than trying to fend the enemy off.

lobster

@Bunks said:
It is just a bit of a crazy time here.......

Here too.

Such is life. Sometimes.

Shoshin

@Bunks said:
It is just a bit of a crazy time here.......

In the mind ?

Bunks

@Shoshin said:

@Bunks said:
It is just a bit of a crazy time here.......

In the mind ?

Yes

Bringing awareness back in to the body and the breath helps - remembering to do it is the challenge

Shoshin

I guess this is what is meant when one says "Take a breather" ...It's funny how simple saying can have very powerful/beneficial meaning...

Namada

I know how most people let things go, they watch entertainment on the phone and funny things on youtube/facebook, its just to sweep it under the carpet, out of sight out of mind :P

DairyLama

@Bunks said:> Bringing awareness back in to the body and the breath helps - remembering to do it is the challenge

Exactly. I find that re-establishing mindfulness in the body has a grounding effect, so I am less "in my head". On a good day I remember to do this regularly, which also helps me to be mindful of experience generally, noticing the continual movement of mind and senses. On a bad day I just forget.

Bunks

@Namada said:
I know how most people let things go, they watch entertainment on the phone and funny things on youtube/facebook, its just to sweep it under the carpet, out of sight out of mind :P

Spot on! And as good Buddhists, our challenge is to break that habit and investigate the first noble truth. What is suffering? Why does it arise?

Going against the stream.....

Namada

it's not for the faint hearted, from my experience we gain a lot of wisdom from investigating the darker corners

lobster

Dear Friends of the dark dharma

When in hell realm immersion (been there, done that, wear the t-shirt, sweat shirt ordered) we find the value of practice.

Because [spoiler alert] we have learned - takes times guys - to be calm in the face of:

• Thoughts real and imagined
• Emotions, strong and overwhelming
• Crocodiles, people and demons

DESIDERATA

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

© Max Ehrmann 1927