Hello, this is my first post, I've been a lurker in several conversations though
I'm a trans man living in Mexico, I had been a teacher for a year and a half in the faculty of psychology, receiving nothing but good comments on my work, I mainly taught research, but I've always mixed it with themes like human rights, positive psychology, doing good deeds, and such.
I came out as transgender to the principal in july, and in august he suddenly told me I couldn't teach anymore and he demoted me from teacher to administrative worker, with half the pay and witout health services
Things in Mexico are rough so I can't switch jobs and there is nothing legal I can do about it right now; I've been suffering these past four months because I miss teaching, but mainly because I feel the demotion was unfair.
Does anyone has an advice on how to mindfully cope with this situation? Have you had a similar situation, and if so, how did you handle it?
Thanks in advance
Comments
@cosmicdan
Welcome ....Sorry to hear about your work situation...Have you been in touch with your local "Human Rights Commission" ? Or any "local support groups" ( the "local support groups" link has links to legal services which may help with your work situation)
Do you want to know "how to" practice "Mindfulness" in order to reduce stress ?
Mexico is not a backward country. It has Laws.
http://knowledge.leglobal.org/anti-discrimination-laws-in-mexico/
I think that while you need on the one hand to meditate on Metta and Dukkha, and read up on Mindful detachment, you shouldn't necessarily passively accept the demotion, and think there's nothing you can do.
Follow up on @Shoshin's excellent advice, and read the link I provided.
Buddhism means being Compassionate and practising skilful detachment.
There's nothing about being a submissive doormat.
I've no advice, but I always think people who come out as transgender are brave. I spent a long time in the British army and in the early 1990s we had a male Warrant Officer who came out as transgender. Fair play to the British army, where homosexuality was illegal just a few years prior, they were great about it and the Warrant Officer ended up heading the army's Diversity Team, where they travelled around different army units, speaking about diversity issues (sexual and racial discrimination).
There's official policy around this area now.
Anyway, as I say, I've no advice, but I reckon it takes real courage to do what that Warrant Officer and yourself has done. It's just a shame you've received a negative reaction to what - really - should be no big deal to anyone but yourself.
As Fede says, keep fighting, motivated even by compassion for other transgenders who may not be as intelligent or able as yourself, but try to find some peace around the situation too (if that's what she said).
I'm so sorry to hear you are having to deal with such things. You could see if you can find a civil rights lawyer that can help you, but you'd have to find a way to prove it was your trans status caused your demotion. Often employers will give other reasons in official files and it leaves it difficult to prove anything otherwise. But it can be worth it, especially if Mexico has an equivilant to the ACLU who will fight on your behalf without cost to you.
I realize the employment market is incredibly difficult right not, but make sure you don't fall into the trap of not even trying. There might be few openings, but you might be the perfect fit for one of those openings. So I'd keep trying for them whenever possible. Sometimes it helps me to understand that people such as your boss operate from such a place of fear. It is unfair that their fear affects others but at the very least you can be grateful you don't live in such a place.
In general, in many places, including in most areas of the US, trans people aren't considered protected under anti-discrimination laws, unfortunately. They have no protected under federal law in the US, so are only ranted any modicum of protection under state and local laws. Some states here include trans people in anti-discrimination laws (including mine), but for them to be included, then gender identity has to be specifically mentioned as it's been determined that sexual orientation alone does not cover trans people for protective measures. I'd guess Mexico's law is much the same but it's worth finding out. Someone has to determine if the law includes trans people or not.
@federica even though LGBT have legal rights in Mexico, sadly they are frequently mistreated under the law in round-about ways not the least of which is law enforcement looking the other way when gay and trans people are attacked, robbed, assaulted etc. There is quite a lot of corruption in politics and police forces (much more so than normal in a lot of areas), unfortunately, so existing laws are often not enforced equally.
I would edit, but it's long enough already
The laws have changed in Mexico more recently because people have been willing to stick themselves out there and fight for it. That's not something that everyone is able to do for a million reasons, but whenever something happens I try to look for an opportunity and perhaps there is one in there for you to help the trans community via your experience. I know crime against LGBT people is still rampant in some places in MX, so do be cautious about what kind of risk you put yourself in. But always look for a place to help. Even if you can find a shelter that caters to LGBT people, maybe you could spend time volunteering and connecting with your community. It's amazing the connections you find and resources you gather in doing so.
@Shoshin
Hello I have been in touch with several attorneys, they're helping me with my case, but since it's a slow process, I have to continue working as if nothing had happened, and that frustrates me I feel constantly stressed but mostly angry, because I feel my situation is unfair.
I just watched the video you posted, I will definitively keep tab of that channel. I do want to know how to practice mindfulness to reduce the feelings of stress and anger
@federica said:
@federica
Hi, thanks for the link you provided, I do know there are laws in Mexico, the problem is actually enforcing them as @karasti mentions, in Mexico law enforcement usually looks the other way, there is a lot of corruption, and the people that do stand up for their rights gets treated badly.
I am in touch with several human rights attorneys, but it's a slow process and I'm getting really frustrated and angry. I agree with you that I shouldn't passively accept the demotion, but since right now my case is building, all I can do is wait I will look up mindful detachment and practice it. Thank you
@karasti
Thank you for your contribution, I have been answering job applications related to teaching, but so far no luck, I plan on keep on trying tough, since it is something I love doing and I feel is my contribution to society
Law does protect trans people, but as you mention, law enforcement usually looks the other way, it is also common that people in charge try to scare people to avoid lawsuits. I do plan on filing a lawsuit if it's necessary, however the thought really scares me because it means my job situation will be more difficult than it already is (bosses look down at people who sued their past jobs).
I'm very torn, my family thinks I should just keep quiet because defending my rights will only get me into more trouble, but my girlfriend and friends think like you, that this is an opportunity for me to help myself and the trans community. I have been making a lot of new activist friends, so that is something really good that happened out of a bad situation.
I will keep this in mind, thank you so much. The principal is a very catholic person, and usually shuns all things related to sexual diversity
@cosmicdan you may find this video helpful....
Ven Robina Courtin "How To Be Your Own Therapist" (It runs for around one hour and fifteen minutes)
This Dharma talk is like a toolkit full of wisdom ....
@Shoshin , @federica, @Tosh, @karasti
Hello everyone I just stumbled on my post while looking for my old password. It's been pretty much a year since I wrote to you asking for advice!
I have to be honest with you, the purpose of me writing back then was to receive a somewhat "peaceful" advice on how to keep quiet about my whole situation without me feeling bad.
Most of my friends, mi sister, mi girlfriend, and also you guys/girls pretty much told me to look for a lawyer and defend my rights, and I was like "no, that's looking for trouble".
The truth is, I was scared, I was terrified, because suddenly my life was upside down, so many "negative" things happened one after the other, and my parents always taught me not to complain, to keep quiet, to keep working hard, and that way things would solve by themselves (Mexican beliefs I guess?), that didn't happen obviously.
I re-read your answers and I'm sorry I didn't take them more into account, but then again, I was emotionally destroyed back then.
Updates:
Victories:
Thanks for reading! I love you all!!!
This is no small thing.
This is a glorious example, precisely, of even if you are Buddhist, it doesn't mean being pacid and accepting of everything, because sometimes, within that "Right Everything" there is a "Wrong-doing".
You nailed it.
Well done, and more power to you, in every possible benevolent, beneficial and positive sense.
Excelente @cosmicdan