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Losing interest in life
techie
India Veteran
I don't mean this in a depressive way. I mean, losing interest in the activities you once used to do - books, tv, swimming, workouts, etc. You just want to sit in your room and relax. You no longer have interest in activities, you no longer want to socialise. You want solitude and silence.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing? To an introvert like me, it seems natural. But to others, it seems odd.
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Comments
Along with every other question you ask - only you can answer that
There comes a time when you have to stop asking to be served the answers and actually DO the work yourself. G-d only knows how you made the decision to go through with your wedding.....
Good & Bad are relative...
It's a case of ...Different strokes of the paddle for different folks on the raft
However taking things to the extreme may not be the healthiest option for one's mental well being...
Well unlike @Kundo I think we can at least try to hold up a mirror...
I feel there is a certain phase we go through where more introspection is called for. You reach a point where you need more alone-time. Bodhidharma also went through nine years of sitting and staring at a cave wall by himself, after all.
But you have to realise it is not infinite, at a certain point you are going to emerge and resume more normal activities. You may or may not be changed after your experience, and if you’ve neglected your friends and your social circle you may find it difficult to pick things up again.
Lute strings. Too loose? Too tight? Find a happy medium. As long as you're heading for The 4 Sublime States and practising Sila, you're fine.
Right?
Steady on girl... chill...
Wedding? I am not married, lol. I think you are confusing me with someone else.
Extremes are bad, I get that. But what if all this happens naturally? It is not like you purposely lose interest in life. It happens without your doing.
Nothing happens without your doing. If you're 'doing' something, you engineered it...
I think Buddhists are prone to this, you start by spending time on introspection, letting go of things, and you become more and more inclined towards that. Eventually you have to acknowledge that there is no more letting go to do, you should just make your way through life and do what comes naturally. Chop wood, carry water.
You should be in life but not of it. Participate, mingle, be proactive, enjoy, contribute and socialise as far as you are comfortable doing so. But detach. Nothing whatsoever should be clung to. Including losing interest.
I remember once hearing the American nun Thubten Chodron saying something like the things that most people look to make them happy aren't the same things that Buddhists, or maybe monastics, look to make them happy.
I don't want to completely rule out some level of depression or nihilism, because that could be mixed in. But I would say that a sort of spiritual type of happiness is different than the type of happiness you get from activities or relationships. I think those "worldly" happinesses are more about peak experiences and spiritual happiness has more to do with an internal base level of contentment or bliss/joy.
@techie
I'm under the impression we all at times like to have some "me" time...
I for example live alone and quite enjoy my own company ...however I'm still active in the community ...work & pleasure...
When you say 'you want to just sit in your room and relax'... Is it just to have some 'me' time ? eg, like reading, watching TV, playing games on the computer ? Or do you meditate and study the Dharma ?
Bearing in mind anxiety & depression can also cause a person to lock themself away ...both of which can gradually creep up on you and make themselves at home...."Mind Squatters" ....the unwelcome guests so to speak...
You're right I did, my apologies for that. But the attitude and demeanour in this post is very similar to the other person.
It sounds perfectly natural for your personality type.
As you say others have different oddities/priorities/persona. The 'good thing' is to be OK with who you are. For example you might wish to become even more introspective or develop a more mainstream balance that might include the social activity of an engaged Bodhisattva ...
So the question is are you at odds with yourself or your own ode/song?
Beautifully said @lobster
You don’t even immediately have to shoot as high as that. There is room for everyone, you can be a modern hermit in a concrete cave, only taking time out from meditation to go to the supermarket, or you can be an all-singing all-dancing engaged Buddhist. It is up to you, and it is also up to you to find peace with that...