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to stop suffering and feel comfortable
ShanYin37
Ontario, Canada Explorer
in Meditation
I have been experiencing suffering and discomfort and unhappiness. How can I overcome this?
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Suffering, discomfort and unhappiness pretty much sums up the human condition.
Briefly...
The 4 noble truths and the 8 fold path are the usual answer to this question.
The 4 noble truths is the Buddhist explanation for sufferings cause and the path towards it's cessation.
The eightfold path can be likened to the eight spokes of a wheel that all need to be properly attended to for the wheel to functionally support anyone's weight along this path towards suffering's cessation.
Not sure.....but if you find out can you let us know???
Ah yes, I am being facetious. Sorry things are crappy for you at the moment.
If you can get rid of the "I" in your question, what are you left with?
All we are is a tangle of cause and effect being tossed around from day to day.
If you can understand there's no-one behind the wheel it may help a little.
Good luck.
We experience various measures of suffering, discomfort and unhappiness, usually because we think the world should be other than what it is. Examine mindfully why you feel these things, and you will see a measure of craving and clinging. Let go of these, and you will find your suffering much diminished, if not entirely gone.
Are you always Suffering, without pause?
Are you always Uncomfortable, without pause?
Are you always Unhappy, without pause?
Are there periods when you do not experience suffering, discomfort and unhappiness?
Are these emotions perpetual and continuous or are they sporadic and occasional?
My suffering is a mix of boredom and mental/psychological suffering. I feel like I only stop suffering when I kind of space out.
I am uncomfortable most of the time, less when I am enjoying a video game. My dreams are very pleasant, I recently had a nightmare. Might have to do with the meth I smoked. I usually don't smoke meth or do hard drugs or have nightmares. That is probably the first nightmare I had in a long time. Other than that, my dreams are very pleasant.
I am certainly always unhappy. Happiness seems way far away from me.
I
These emotions are perpetual and continuous. I think it is all mental suffering.
But they're not.
You change what you're doing, and you change how you're feeling.
A thought is only a thought. And a thought can be changed.
Focus elsewhere. Find something constructive to do, even if it's to buy some birdseed and go to a park and feed the birds.
Don't wallow and focus on what your mind dictates. YOU are in control of your Mind. Shift your perception.
Boredom is self-inflicted. You wouldn't be bored if you filled your life with something more meaningful than video games. Go to a local charity organisation and volunteer to feed or help the homeless.
Stay off the drugs. Why people even go there, is beyond me. It's illegal, addictive and frankly, totally reckless. It's also immensely disrespectful to yourself, your body and those connected to you.
Where does your mental/Psychological suffering stem from? Don't address the symptoms: Find the cause and address that.
There is much work to be done. And you have to do it.
Because you're the only one who CAN do it.
How much do you value your existence? How much do you desire to improve it?
Then work according to THAT measure. But work, you must.
OK I'll throw out my weed, try to quit smoking, get some exercise everyday, and do some volunteer work.
All things in moderation, but it seems like a better path than living for entertainment. Seek clarity, not befuddlement; peace, not endless desires for irrelevancies; compassion, not insensitivity. Read some dharma books and see whether it appeals.
But that’s only the short term. The long term is, almost always these kinds of addictions, video games, drugs, alcohol, are masking other problems in your life. Your emotional center is signalling that some other things are missing in your life. How are your relationships, your family, your friends? How is your work? Your goals in life?
Hey, a fellow Ontarian, cool!
Volunteer work is perfect. The best way to feel some self worth is by helping others. As for the addiction, if you try to take on too much at once you may feel pretty overwhelmed. I would recommend getting rid of the meth and tobacco right away. Maybe the cannabis too although you may want to wait on that until the worst offenders are dealt with. If you can beat tobacco, you will see how you can beat pretty much any addiction.
Since you like to "space out", I suggest finding something pleasing that noticeably changes. Like a rain drop running down the window, clouds passing by, the sunset or some waves. Think about what makes them rise and fall. The journey it took to get to where it is. As for the raindrop running down the window, it was part of a cloud which is a heavy mist of evaporated water from below. It is beautiful and impossible without impermanence. Forget everything you think you know about whatever it is you chose to focus on. Empty your cup of any and all notions and concepts and just watch impermanence at work. We spend a lot of time being averse to impermanence and so that's a problem, not impermanence itself.
If most of our suffering comes from a kind of misperception then seeing clearly would be a logical approach. We need to find ways to appreciate impermanence. We need the wonder of the beginners mind again.
Impermanence can be painful but is also very beautiful and when we can see everything in everything else, we may start to feel an inkling of no birth and no death.
"It is true that the Buddha taught the truth of suffering but he also taught the truth of "dwelling happily in things as they are" (drishta dharma sukha viharin)
It is good to contemplate suffering so we can see the causes but the 3rd and 4th Noble Truth are the best parts. That is where we learn to clear the obstacles to happiness for self and others.
How's it going?
All my weed is composted.
What exercise are you doing?
Do or do not there is no try.
Yoda
Welcome to Newbuddhist.
I have an exercise bike.
If you have been smoking weed for some time your body may well be depleted in various vitamins and minerals. In addition to excercise, which is excellent of course, I recommend that you take a good vitamin and mineral supplement. Currently many people are experiencing all kinds of stress at various levels due to Covid. It’s bringing things to the surface.
Seriously, I'd be way more concerned about the meth and tobacco than the weed. Weed may not be ideal but the other two are known to kill people and cause much suffering.
The tobacco has a hold on me. I feel incredibly hooked on it.
What do you do on it? Go for a smoke? Keep your drugs in it?
How is that working out?
Tobacco I've found is short term enjoyment. At first so enjoyable and later not as much enjoyment but a feeling of compulsion to smoke. If you can manage to break free whatever you do don't go back to smoking again.
It might be quite hard to have prolonged enjoyment right now. Shoot for making doable small changes and from those I hope you find some enjoyment even if it's small. It's part of human nature that when you simplify or make small changes you will be proud and satisfied for at least a relatively small/medium amount.
Well I threw out my weed, I am out of smokes right now so I may as well try to quit, I could re-read STOP Smoking by Alan Carr, and I could make some calls tommorow to do some work.
I really want to quit for good tho. Which is a big change.
A really good read for addiction is Taking the Leap by Pema Chodron.
I have smoked cannabis and tobacco for 13 years, chronically. And for the last two-three years I tried to quit. And finally I see this coming and going could be over. In 2 days I do one month sober. A big point for me.
What I'm saying @ShanYin37 is that it is possible. Do not allow the old habits to creep back, note them how they arise, find a good support group -which in part you've already done by coming to NewBuddhist
-, find friends or people in your local circle to support you; but most importantly make this declaration to yourself. I know this is not easy and you probably had a harsher time than me, but by seeking assistance and support you are already showing a strong determination!
Also do not blame yourself or feel guilty for your previous actions as this usually will build anxiety and guilt. Forgive yourself from this, this way you will also strengthen your path towards liberation.
I recollect on the main negative sides of drug use: money, time and energy wasted. And then see the positive sides I was collecting now: better finances, more time, more energy.
After a while you will look back at this experience and find yourself strengthened and you could even help other people in the future. But right now, you must help yourself.
Keep us updated and lots of love and support from Germany!
I am coming off my medication. So I am getting my mind back. I have lost my 20s to psychiatry and feel traumatized at all the abuse I suffered at the hands of the psychiatrist. Solitary confinement, violence by security guards, violence by police, being put in an institution, having my rights removed on a community treatment order and drugged with injections, having to hire a lawyer, being judged by people.
I don't have many people that I have really gotten to know. I have 2 sisters and they have cancer. My oldest sister is struggling with addiction and I don't like her because I feel she can't mind her own business. She has started stealing from my parents and it is hard to believe.
I don't really like my parents but they help me with things.
I have never really been in a relationship but I have dated some.
Who has not? [posts to the usual place]
Now what?
In terms of Buddha dharma:
Do you feel ready to practice?
Prostrations are a grounding and purification by physical engagement
http://zen-ua.org/practices/108-prostrations-2
Other similar effects can be found in walking meditation.
That is something only you can decide, for some people it works out well and for others it doesn’t. I wish you the best of luck with it, but it is not without risk.
It is a familiar story, not less sad for any of that. Have you looked into peer counselling? Often people with a real resilience and leaning towards activism end up there, and find like minds and support.
This might be the root of the problem, that you don’t have enough real and close relationships. It certainly sounds like something you would want to spend time fixing. But for people with a psychiatric background real warmth and relationship can be difficult to come by. Volunteering is a good thing to do, you will meet people there with a good heart.
I think the goal to stop suffering and feel comfortable is a good statement of intent. Learning to feel happy in the body is key, looking after health is important. The dharma can help with the mind, taking care of the body needs more mundane skills.
I'm not sure if you're being condescending or attacking me but I don't appreciate it.
My family, the society, psychiatry has traumatized me and ruined my life.
Believe me, so did I. The first smoke of the day was the hardest to let go of for me. It actually had me down on one knee, grimacing. I tried and failed so many times before but this was the time I was going to make it. Instead of trying to ease the nic fit with some replacement, I just jumped head first right into the nic fit and shone my light of awareness on it until it went away. That feels pretty good so next thing I knew I was craving the nic fit just to stare it down.
This July 25th will be 4 years tobacco free.
Not to sound too trite but helping others with wholesome endeavors will give you a sense of purpose.
I recognise that sentiment from what others have told me. It seems to go together with a lack of love in one’s life, a bitterness, a sense of “it shouldn’t be so”. All of these things form barriers to be overcome, to find love and sweetness in life.
A lot of peer support counsellors have been through this. I know people who have overcome these difficulties and found a kind of wisdom on the other side.
Ah. Perhaps some help.
@lobster is the forum "Crazy fool". Plenty of banter, a lot of it senseless, but entirely harmless. Most of his comments actually poke fun at himself... and even a crazy fool has much wisdom, if you learn to read between the lines.
He's been here since 2008. 3 years less than I have been.
It may be a small crumb of comfort but in all that time, many other members have come and gone, and I have banned a few. (That gives me no joy ever....)
If memory serves me correctly, I have only ever had to admonish him twice.
@lobster? Behave.
I'm not sure if your talking to me or lobster. I was banned twice? I probably deserved it. In a nutshell, I am trying to absorb what is written a bit more than usual.
Well so far you haven’t said anything worthy of being banned in this incarnation. Perhaps you might like to read the Abhaya Sutra on right speech just on the off chance.
But I would say losing a few years to psychiatry doesn’t have to be the end of having a meaningful life, there are always options. It’s just staying flexible, learning to be positive, to observe with equanimity when things become difficult.
Nothing about what you have wrote has helped. I am suffering incredibly. I feel like nothing about my spiritual practice has helped at all. I feel like I am on anti psychotics and have thoughts that they are injecting me with drugs in my sleep after breaking into my apartment. My mother looks at me with a look in her eye like I deserve to feel remourse. It is creepy. I do not feel safe in my area. I get angry and smash my apartment. I have not been using drugs for some weeks. My right to own property has been removed.
@ShanYin37
Everyone experiences hurt.
A spiritual practice does not exist to stop you from hurting.
A spiritual practice only teaches one how to address the suffering that we create out of our hurting.
Do you see any differences between pain and suffering?
in gassho
Are you sure this is not the process of coming off the drugs? Especially the meth. Feeling at peace may take some time after that. I’d try and create some distance, try and observe myself and watch the emotions come and go. It’s all impermanent, and a little suffering now may help you later.
Feel free to talk to us, and we will try and help.
I am sorry to hear this. Unhappiness and discomfort are nothing but signals. It is no different to how your physical body feels aches, pains, sickness etc. to signal to you that there is something wrong. I would strongly suggest that you see it no other way... just impersonal, objective, factual. Your unhappiness and discomfort are not statements about who you are, what your worth is. There is no judgement involved. It is just signals to let you know that there is something wrong. So, with a little bit of self-honesty, I am sure it is not too difficult to identify certain things that are wrong that are causing you to feel like this.
I can see from the post above that drugs are involved. Okay, so be it. This is not uncommon at all. The vast majority of the time people use drugs to mask / alter how they are feeling. It makes sense! We all have an instinct and attraction to feeling good. Sadly many of us live in conditions that do not do their best to encourage this! Especially childhood conditions... what happens to some children breaks my mind and heart. So, beyond the drugs, you probably have some digging in to do.
Again, this is not personal to you. If you had a difficult childhood, for example, then this is most likely not your fault. Things might have happened that you had no power or control over, and that you had no awareness or understanding to process in a healthy manner. So be it. It's a mess in your home that someone else has made for you, and now you are left to clean it all up. It's not the nicest thing to do to someone! But, the mess is the mess, and it won't clean itself up, as my mother likes to say!
Just don't make it personal. The mess has nothing to do with you. You didn't cause it, you didn't ask for it, you didn't want it. The mess happened when you had no power to stop the messing happening. This has nothing at all to do with you, who you truly are, what is in your heart, and there is no consideration of good or bad in any of this. Just a mess that needs to be cleaned up.
If you can keep it as impersonal to this, avoid any self judgement or condemnation, stick to the facts and stick to the work that needs to be done, then it is just a simple task of step by step cleaning up the mess. Many have done it before, many are doing it now, and, I suspect, many of us will be doing it for a long time yet on this weird-ass planet. Just one step at a time, and before you know it, your home will be clean once more.
We are all in a nutshell. People here value your efforts, story, well being. 💗
💗🙏🏽
Thanks!
RE: Stop Suffering and Feel Confident.
Heh heh! Just do it.