Have I done well… or have I done ill?
Jeroen
Not all those who wander are lostNetherlands Veteran
I’ve been following a video podcast called The Book Club for the past week or so, and one of the episodes that set me to thinking was about John Steinbeck’s novel East of Eden. Here is a link in case you have an hour to spare, it’s good fun:
So basically the book is about good and evil, whether they are predestined. It references the biblical story of Cain and Abel, the two brothers where Cain murders Abel, and also the story of the fall from paradise and original sin. There is this famous quote from the book:
“I believe that there is one story in the world, and only one. . . . Humans are caught—in their lives, in their thoughts, in their hungers and ambitions, in their avarice and cruelty, and in their kindness and generosity too—in a net of good and evil. . . . There is no other story. A man, after he has brushed off the dust and chips of his life, will have left only the hard, clean questions: Was it good or was it evil? Have I done well—or ill?”
― John Steinbeck, East of Eden
We have already talked about this a little in the ‘Good and Bad People’ thread, but this question has stuck with me and I wanted to revisit it, from a more personal perspective.
At age 53 enough of my life has passed that I can see the general shape of it. The largest influence of my life on others has likely been the work I did on computer games, where I worked on some titles that sold in the millions of copies. And I find it hard to say whether that was a good influence or an ill influence on the world — it was probably a bit of both, but I think the fact that computer games inevitably get you to strive and struggle, that they do not encourage introspection or meditation, makes it tend more towards being an ill influence.
Some of the graphic design and illustration work I did early in my career also had wide reach, I did some scientific illustrations in a book that sold millions of copies, and that may have clarified certain things for people. I’d say that had a neutral influence, it was encouraging people to think, but it was also encouraging clarity and reason.
In recent years I have contributed to mental health forums, and here on NewBuddhist, and I have helped care for my stepfather and mother. I have reached out to family and tried to create a good atmosphere for sharing and togetherness. Those are net positives, but probably lesser in impact on the world.
Of course it depends what measures of good and evil you use. You could say, being a warmonger like Netanyahu or Putin is proliferating great evil, they caused many deaths and much ill-feeling. Compared to that, the amounts of influence we exert on the world are tiny. But there is a personal balance as well, how you relate to your neighbours and close relatives. One can be deeply twisted and leave little trace on the world.
Comments
What comes to my mind is that I think it is important to consider your intent and impact on the world, so I don't want to counter that at all.
For myself I think there is a simplified division of people who are satisficers and people who are maximizers. "Good enough" vs "what's the best?" Are your actions or your life doing more good than not, or are you doing the most good you can and avoiding the most harm? And how cleanly good or bad really are a lot of our actions? Is eating humanely raised meat good or bad? Is it better to buy a new electric vehicle or maintain an old gas fueled car? Is it bad to drop nuclear bombs on Japan, or is that better than the harm that comes through invasion or surrender? Its always, compared to what?
Secondly, it can be hard to see our individual, small impacts on others. But I think humans are deeply social creatures and seeing and feeling an example of a known and trusted person in front of you acting in one way or another offers a larger impact on personal and social change for the positive or negative than anonymous, indirect actions. There is a fair bit of research on this effect of relational change and social diffusion if you're interested. Much of the success of the gay rights movement is postulated to have come about because of all the personal connections gay people had in all sorts of spheres. So I don't think it should be dismissed as valuable.
Certainly I have done some good for the planet by not eating meat, not owning a car, and not having children. In terms of climate impact I have lived a fairly minimal life. But that is not the same as actually doing things that are good, although it is simpler to quantify.
You can choose to do a lot of research, and then live by the results. It is a burden though, trying to make the right choices from this perspective. If you make it too complex, too far reaching then you end up spending more time on the paperwork than you can afford.
So what's your intuitive sense of what good includes. I've seen work counts, but everyday life choices don't.
This is something I've been contemplating as well. The notion of paralysis by analysis. I don't think acting for the sake of acting is very skillful either, or acting recklessly or foolishly. But there is some happy medium in the face of uncertainty where acting on imperfect information becomes the skillful choice.
That aside, I am slow to act and long to ponder. However when I do act I don't really have issues with commitment, there's very little second guessing. I've already done the work of determination. The analogy that comes to my mind is like doing some sort of puzzle box. Some people may want to pick it up right away and start moving things, while others may take time to study and understand it, so when they do monkey with it they have some idea of what it is or some strategy for how to solve it.
I actually think all things where you are actually making choices for the good count, whether they are choices for mostly passive behaviour like food choices or very active choices like where to spend your money in the cinema.
I tend to work by that flash of insight, by the sudden and complete understanding that arrives when you’ve really got it.
That clarification helps. I maybe misunderstood what you said earlier about actually doing things that are good.
I use intuition a lot. But mine are often fairly rough and contain biases and imperfect knowledge which needs to be fleshed out and refined. I have kind of a feedback loop between conscious rational thought and intuition where rational thought refines and improves intuition and intuition guides the direction of rational though. Perhaps I just lack the confidence or intelligence to have that kind of clean insight.
I'll settle for 'dirty' insight, Anything but mind waffle (my default)
Maybe I should be in the spiritual Gray Zone (neti-neti - Not this, not that)
https://thegrayzone.com/
Wonder what the kind are up to?
As usual we can be busy doing good...
By adding words such as 'Maitri', 'Metta', 'Karuna' etc. to a working search engine
https://www.startpage.com/
...we can move towards 'wellbeing' (another keyword?)
https://karuna.org/
https://www.karuna.org.uk/
hope this link works? It is similar to 'Best of...' top left on New Buddhist - The link works OK for me
You too?
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