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Feeling quite out of place again .... having monks over for food offering
Brian
Detroit, MI Moderator
I guess in the Thai tradition (I'm not sure about the others - complete n00b), it is customary to invite the monks from your sangha to your home for a food offering. Me being completely american, did not know this until recently (even though I have been attending the temple for two years now)
Okay, so I figured that much out. Now come the logistics.
How to broach the subject
I just finally emailed one of the monks. I said "Would it be appropriate to invite the monks over for lunch for a food offering?" He responded, "yes" and "what day".
I came up with a saturday. He said bad day, I came up with a different saturday, bad day, he came back with a good day. Fine, date settled.
How many monks?
Turns out we have to cook for five monks. No biggie. But if you ever do this, make sure to ask how much food to prepare.
Expectations and etiquette
I'm totally lost. I have no idea what's expected. I have no idea if this is considered a ceremony either. They are also coming to offer their blessing on our new house (even though I've been there for four months now). What do I do? This is so intimidating.
Luckily, Achahn Pimol offered to come over early in the morning to explain things to me and to help us out. Whew.
Although, I feel weird about that too. He is one of the monks, after all, and this is supposed to be an offering to them, yet he'll be helping? What a weird situation for me :banghead:
Oh well, we'll see. I'll just let it go, and try not to worry about it. Consider this thread my blog on the matter. I'll update it as things happen. Hopefully this will make it easier for other new buddhists to make offerings to the monks at their homes.
Sometimes I hate being a trailblazer :grumble:
Okay, so I figured that much out. Now come the logistics.
How to broach the subject
I just finally emailed one of the monks. I said "Would it be appropriate to invite the monks over for lunch for a food offering?" He responded, "yes" and "what day".
I came up with a saturday. He said bad day, I came up with a different saturday, bad day, he came back with a good day. Fine, date settled.
How many monks?
Turns out we have to cook for five monks. No biggie. But if you ever do this, make sure to ask how much food to prepare.
Expectations and etiquette
I'm totally lost. I have no idea what's expected. I have no idea if this is considered a ceremony either. They are also coming to offer their blessing on our new house (even though I've been there for four months now). What do I do? This is so intimidating.
Luckily, Achahn Pimol offered to come over early in the morning to explain things to me and to help us out. Whew.
Although, I feel weird about that too. He is one of the monks, after all, and this is supposed to be an offering to them, yet he'll be helping? What a weird situation for me :banghead:
Oh well, we'll see. I'll just let it go, and try not to worry about it. Consider this thread my blog on the matter. I'll update it as things happen. Hopefully this will make it easier for other new buddhists to make offerings to the monks at their homes.
Sometimes I hate being a trailblazer :grumble:
0
Comments
Don't stress too much... I'm sure that the monks will be understanding that you might not completely understand what you are supposed to be doing
Yeah, you're the one who keeps telling me that after all
There were some awkward moments, but as I've said before, Thai monks are super easygoing.
It was way more involved than I had thought it would be. I figured this would be a food offering. Turns out it was a whole house blessing ceremony and a sort of Buddhist "baptism" ceremony. Six monks and a layperson came over. Luckily, two monks came before hand to help us explain what was going on and to set up. They started rearranging the furniture and setting up a set of tables with a statue, incense burner, candles, etc. They also brought a water bowl and decanter, a large bronze buddha statue and a really big bronze waterbowl.
This is going to be a long post, so I'm going to split it into multiple posts with pictures. I've gotta run right now so I'll continue it a bit later...
After the two monks set everything up, the others came. We had six total.
They totally rearranged my living room so that they could all sit facing us.
First pic: the statue they brought.
Second pic: monks milling around after furniture was moved.
There's something surreal about looking into your backyard and seeing buddhist monks walking around barefoot in by your stream and your pond
This was a house blessing and also tracey and I taking the 5 precepts.
We recited the precepts in Pali, and then in english.
We offered incense, water, and fire for the buddha, dhamma, and sangha.
First pic is tracey and I performing the lighting of the incense. Second is me lighting the candles.
I should take this time to mention that a seventh person came - he was a Thai guy, a friend of one of the monks and a member of the sangha. I've met him before, but only briefly. He came to sort of help out, sort of translate for us, etc. It was very comforting having him there (he's very americanized, he moved here as a child, and speaks perfect english). He didn't necessarily have to translate language for us (we're getting good at communicating with the monks), but he DID explain a great deal about what was going on, what was next, and what was expected of us. He was totally cool to have around. His name is Channya, but he goes by Mark.
So, after the initial suttas were recited, we did a water blessing, which is where the family pours water during chanting. Perry was the cameraman, so he didn't help out, but me, tracey, and kyle poured the water.
First pic is the monks chanting. Second pic is the water pouring.
Perry is a pretty good cameraman for a 6 year old
Mark brought over some authentic thai food, which included a whole fish, some bowls of random thai stuff (I'm assuming it was condiments - some kind of fishy hot sauce stuff), and the gut stew that I am beginning to realize is a staple at every thai meal. When I say gut stew, I mean it. It is like .... organ meats, mushed together with some vegetables and greens like mint leaves and cilantro. I think maybe there is some actual beef or something in there, but I could be wrong about that. At any rate, it's not very appetizing to an american. I actually ate it before I realized what it was, at past events. It's not THAT bad, but it doesn't taste great, either. That, combined with the fact that I know what it is now, means I will probably pass on it next time it is offered to me. The normal thai cusine is rife with organ meat. So don't think that when you get thai food at the thai restaurant down the street that you are getting authentic thai food. Be glad that you are getting the americanized version of it
Anyways, we found out that the monks don't like indian food. However, they ate the crap out of tracey's biriyani. That, and the broccoli. They must have some sort of vitamin deficiency or something because they ate four entire heads of broccoli between the six of them. They were going nuts over plain old broccoli.
They weren't too fond of the carrots, I don't think. Perhaps sweet glazed carrots is as unpalatable to the thai taste as organ meat stew is to ours :eek2:
One of the monks told us afterwards that hers was the first indian food that he has ever enjoyed, and if she could make it again some time. This was a high compliment coming from someone who has been to india on multiple occasions. She was flattered. She learned to cook from an Indian friend of ours, so it's real. I think perhaps the fact that in India, they also have no problem using cheap cuts of meat for their normal food might have something to do with it. Tracey used regular whole chicken breast meat in her biriyani as opposed to chicken skin, bone marrow, and fat
Various pics of monks chilling:
After the ceremony, kyle said he wanted his head shaved like a monk. So we did it.
All in all, it was a great experience. It was a serious crash course in buddhism, and now tracey and I are "officially" buddhists
the brocoli thing is certainly kinda wierd albeit hilarious
btw, your house is quite nice, i like it (at least what i can see in the pix)
...and tell Kyle that is a great haircut for me
If i was given a statue like that i think i'd feel bad or something.
Thanks for the pic dude.
I'll figure out something someday....
I'm very glad your blessing went well....
I'm going to investigate a Sangha nearby...it's near a town called Besançon, not 40km away from where we are now. When Nick & I buy our own modest 'bijoux pied à terre', it may be worth considering having a similar ceremony....what a TRAILBLAZER you truly are, Brian - !!
I want to say thanks for sharing your pictures online. It is so nice to actually see who you and your family are. I tried to post a picture of myself but it is too large or does not fit right or something. <SIGH> I was going to use it as my avatar. Oh well! Anyway, thanks for sharing such a wonderful experience with me. I agree; it would be rather surreal to look out in your yard and see Buddhist monks wandering about! LOL!
Adiana
Kyle no longer has his head shaved that short. Perry, however, has now declared his desire to go on a retreat and be a monk for a few days. Oh how proud I was, until the next part:
"Dad, will I get to be a jedi then?"
//edit: Brian... did you seriously make the lauging face's code "lol"? For shame... for shame. :P
My own son, just having celebrated his 11th birthday, in India, decided that he wanted to "go forth". He spent a few days with some monks from Darjeeling, begging with them and working as well as meditating.
The abbot 'robed' him and we travelled back through Kashmir and Delhi, all the way to London with him in his robes. We got some very good service!
Today, he is more likely to be in cap and hoody but he continues to be a "monk in the world" - at 15!
Thanks for sharing it, it really helped to see the reality of the ceremony and not just have a mental picure of what something like that might be like.
Any updates on the event, have you gotten a special place set up for the Buddha?
Take care,
shasha
This was the coolest thread ever! You're home is beautiful. I love the red. Your family is so gorgeous. That pic of the monks and your two kids is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. It could win awards! Thank you so much! I've completely lost track of time. I haven't been this absorbed in something for a very long time. I just can't get over it. Wow.
When inviting monks to a meal do not mention what the meal is to consist of....such as saying 'we are having a nice roast turkey etc....just invite for 'a meal' or 'the lunch meal'...otherwise they must refuse to eat it.
Do not taste the food first whilst preparing it or laying it out....to eat food to be offered to the monks before them is said to get you a quick trip to the Hungry ghost realm.
The Buddha statue should be placed upon a high place....where it cannot be stepped over or used as a hat-stand etc....to show respect for it.