Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
My day, or rather yesterday since it's morning now (again), was pretty good. I did something very difficult.
I gave up my TV shows. I, who have lived selfishly on TV shows, movies and video games for most of my life, gave up one of them.
That's not to say I won't watch TV sometimes (at random, not to follow series), but it should be understood I have a list of 18 television shows that when in season I either always watch, or if I miss an episode I find it on the internet to watch/download (missing eps. to me is like skipping a chapter in a book... unthinkable).
That's many hours per week of watching or worrying about entertainment.
Merlin, True Blood, Sons of Tucson, House, NCIS, Justified, Human Target, Psych, Burn Notice, Fringe, Supernatural, Vampire Diaries, Bones, Sanctuary, Smallville, Stargate Universe, Legend of the Seeker, Dexter... I'LL MISS YOU *sniff*
It's difficult to give up what you love, but in most cases what you love are just your attachments that distract you from real life, and from doing more important things to free your mind from its delusional state.
no lie huh Simon...Brian u gotta make an appointment to see about those headaches. I just saw on the news that migrains and severe headaches could be a heart problem. I Hope you check with your Doctor on this.
That's many hours per week of watching or worrying about entertainment.
Merlin, True Blood, Sons of Tucson, House, NCIS, Justified, Human Target, Psych, Burn Notice, Fringe, Supernatural, Vampire Diaries, Bones, Sanctuary, Smallville, Stargate Universe, Legend of the Seeker, Dexter... I'LL MISS YOU *sniff*
Just think about how much more often you can watch the Stephen show! I bet you have a lot of missed episodes to catch up on :P
Yeah, that's the point. None of these things that I like to do have any bearing on reality; they don't help people, they don't help create a better future, and they aren't helping me reach toward the next stage of awakening. It was easier than I expected to let go of something that has been a big part of my pre-Buddhist life. I think... soon... I will be able to give up mostly everything that binds me to a worldly life.
I just feel much "lighter" now. It's easier to see that Stephen show, yes.
I taste copper, get chest pains and headaches quite a lot, but i'm only 12... When I go to get my antihystamine pills I might mention the pains in my chest and headaches...
I taste copper, get chest pains and headaches quite a lot, but i'm only 12... When I go to get my antihystamine pills I might mention the pains in my chest and headaches...
Love & Peace
Jellybean
Do you drink enough water? I used to have almost those exact symptoms before I became a big water-drinker. Soda is the devil.
I was going to make the devil as a cuddly toy in sowing class but I decided to make a rounder version of the dog in my avatar instead I'm trying to drink more water and I had it checked a while ago, apparently I have chest spazms because my ribs are moving as I grow I'll try to drink more water thanks, usually I drink milkshake, orange lemonade or blackcurrent juice
I had a dermatologist's appointment today. They made me wait 45 minutes, and then I got in and was done in less than 10 minutes, as opposed to the last patient who took all that time.
For some reason, I wasn't too annoyed or displeased with the situation. Just patiently waited, listening to music on my iPod.
After that, I took a cab where the driver had the worse B.O. in the world and I had to open the window in spite of the drizzle outside. LoL. Fun times.
Oh and, I've never even heard about "blackcurrent". What is it? is it a fruit? (Too lazy to Google it at the moment, lol).
They must not have it in Ecuador. A blackcurrent is a fruit and in England you can buy apple and blackcurrent juice. You just put a little in a glass, mug or beaker and dilute with water
Hope you enjoyed yesterday
Ok, I got off my lazy ass and Googled blackcurrant. It seems very similar to something we call "Capulí" here, but I can't be sure. In any event, the juice from that fruit, wouldn't be something I'd be dying to drink for some reason.
Is it good? Does it have a tangy or sweet taste?
But yeah, today should be better for me, as I have no need to ride in cabs and it will probably just be an easy going day at home, reading more about Buddhism.
Today was an unexpected day off for me - I've got a very part time job babysitting a four year old boy, but since his sister was home sick with a sore throat, their father stayed home with them instead. So I spent the day reading, working on some crafts, and just enjoying the day in general. What I thought during the middle of last week was only going to be a three-day weekend has turned into a five day weekend! It's pleasant and frustrating, all at the same time.
It's crazy to me how my life is SO very different than the average person's, because to me, the days where I DO get out of the house are the exception and the norm are the days where I'm here at home.
I know how people who are very active, can feel a lil overwhelmed when they have a longer than expected period of free time, so I know what you mean purpleparadox.
Browsing the forums on your days off sounds like a great way to fill some time while learning meaningful and helpful things.
Nice day. I got done everything on my "to do" list *and* I got a new laser printer delivered, got it set up, and got it printing like a champ within about half an hour. I love "plug & play"!
Excuse my nosiness lightwithin but does that mean you can't have a job? :-/
All the best,
Jellybean
Yes Jellybean, that's exactly what it means. I think I posted about that on my thread in the members only section, but you probably didn't see it, which is fine.
I had a great day yesterday! I balanced plenty of work with plenty of rest and fun. Had a lot of fun at work, and now I'm seeing what it means that work can be fun and fun can be work sometimes!
Had a really great meditation last night, too, and then thought that I should read some of the self-love book I'm working on but really wasn't feeling it, so I did a couple of logic puzzles and went to bed early. I feel so rested today!
I speant most of today sleeping
as my medication that am on makes me very sleepy
am awake now and looking on line about Buddhism
Good to see you around. A day sleeping is bittersweet for me, because on one hand, it's peaceful and easy, but then on the other it seems like such a waste of precious time to be living to the fullest.
I had a pretty good day staying mindful yesterday, then found out from a friend that my ex-boyfriend is doing really well, and she told me that she's certain that both of us are much better without each other. I knew it would make me feel sad, so I tried to get in touch with my feelings, but not hard enough I guess. I woke up an hour before my alarm clock this morning and bawled. I wrote a ton of stuff out, though, and I am feeling better after really feeling the pain and then letting it go with some meditation. I'm hoping to move forward and enjoy my day without dwelling on it. I should rejoice in the fact that we're both better people because of what we went through together. I will be able to be happy about it soon, as long as I keep working on loving myself.
I had a pretty good day staying mindful yesterday, then found out from a friend that my ex-boyfriend is doing really well, and she told me that she's certain that both of us are much better without each other. I knew it would make me feel sad, so I tried to get in touch with my feelings, but not hard enough I guess. I woke up an hour before my alarm clock this morning and bawled. I wrote a ton of stuff out, though, and I am feeling better after really feeling the pain and then letting it go with some meditation. I'm hoping to move forward and enjoy my day without dwelling on it.
Oh man, I'm sorry you were feeling bad and crying. Break ups are so hard and sometimes the pain they bring can endure for years and years after the fact.
I should rejoice in the fact that we're both better people because of what we went through together.
I like what you said here. There's always much to be learned in relationships and like you say, even if it didn't work out in the end, the things you learned and how you changed while you were together, will probably always stay with you.
Have a great day (or what's left of it) and keep up the good work. You have a very positive energy about you and that can only help in your journey to more self-love and enlightenment.
You have a very positive energy about you and that can only help in your journey to more self-love and enlightenment.
Thanks so much, light. I was actually just thinking about how even though it's a painful day, I'm impressed with myself for not really holding onto the pain as much as I would have even just a couple of months ago. I used to spend my "bad days" at work seeking a few minutes to go hide in the bathroom to cry, but today I'm just focusing on giving good customer service, and the customers have been very friendly back so there's lots of good energy moving around. :cool:
Today has been a good day spent most of the day looking at Buddhism
reading about mediation and how to mediate
Am also listening to some Buddhist chants that my husband downloaded for me .
Sounds like a great day Ella. Out of curiosity, are you and your husband learning together at the same level? (That's fo' sho' cute). Welcome to the forum
I was actually just thinking about how even though it's a painful day, I'm impressed with myself for not really holding onto the pain as much as I would have even just a couple of months ago.
That's what I'd call BIG progress. Keep up the good work.
I had a good meditation session today and as I type this, I still feel the peace and stillness that's "leftover" from sitting five minutes ago. Very nice feeling indeed.
My day was almost normal, but I went out of the house today for a change. Drank coffee as well, which I shouldn't do, as it amplifies my bodily/mind problems. I just can't help myself sometimes. I think I really like coffee too much.
I recently broke up with my girlfriend and I'm over it however I was her first boyfriend and aparently she still pretends we go out :-/ I don't know if I learnt anything while I was with her, it only dropped by self-confidence and made me all confused, but I'll be OK, I just hope she isn't upset...
I was doing just a tiny bit of daily breathing meditation this year but I wasn't getting anything out of it so instead of concentrating on breathing I just let my mind drift into my breaths, or into my blank mind, or just to the middle distance or the blank glass of a mirror. It sort of made me feel, calmer, and better, at the end. I also started the first few seconds of Tong-Len I think it's called.
I had a good meditation session today and as I type this, I still feel the peace and stillness that's "leftover" from sitting five minutes ago. Very nice feeling indeed.
That sounds great! I love having that feeling linger around and I believe that the more I practice, the longer the effects will stick around afterwards.
Thanks for the kind words, too!
Love N Peace - glad to hear about your positive time meditating too!
I had a GREAT day after all yesterday. I was so proud of myself for handling my pain better than I ever would before, and actually acknowledging it as pain rather than trying to find something outside of myself to get angry at. I got to go out and buy a new dress after work for a party next weekend, and it's the first article of clothing I've bought since I lost some weight (I'm 47 pounds down!) and it looks fantastic!
Then I had a date with a pretty amazing guy! He makes me laugh and keeps my spirits lifted when we're together. I usually focus so much on what could go wrong and why I shouldn't enjoy my time with men (I should focus on myself, this could end badly, etc.) but I just relaxed and had a good time, and I'm just thankful! The Universe will continue to carry on no matter what I worry about!
I had a GREAT day after all yesterday. I was so proud of myself for handling my pain better than I ever would before, and actually acknowledging it as pain rather than trying to find something outside of myself to get angry at. I got to go out and buy a new dress after work for a party next weekend, and it's the first article of clothing I've bought since I lost some weight (I'm 47 pounds down!) and it looks fantastic!
Wow, 47lbs. lost is a huge accomplishment. Good job! I got it into my head that I wanted to lose weight a couple years ago and I ended up losing 40lbs. But then a year later, I ended up gaining a bunch back. I'm still not at my fattest ever, but still. Lost the motivation to diet and exercise.
Then I had a date with a pretty amazing guy! He makes me laugh and keeps my spirits lifted when we're together. I usually focus so much on what could go wrong and why I shouldn't enjoy my time with men (I should focus on myself, this could end badly, etc.) but I just relaxed and had a good time, and I'm just thankful! The Universe will continue to carry on no matter what I worry about!
This is great. It sounds like you had fun and handled your fears and worries very well. Glad you had a good time and enjoyed the company of a positive, funny person.
My day has been extremely difficult so far. I'm having a hard time getting physically comfortable. I live with my parents, and I go to school, so I spend a good amount of time at home doing homework, or on the computer, etc.
My mom doesn't work, so she's in the house a lot too. It's gotten to the point where I can't relax practically *ever* because I know any minute she's going to come knock on my door to bother me with some bullshit, like how to unplug her iPod, or how to turn on the DVD player (both of which she has had for several years and uses daily). I feel like I have no where to go to feel safe and relaxed...my computer is here and my guitar/amp/recording, etc. is here. The food is here, my bed is here... I feel so trapped, and what's worse...I feel like my ability to have empathy and compassion is dying, almost dead completely.
I'm moving out next month, but I have another 3 weeks to go. I feel like I'm gonna die...and every time I try to tell her that I need space, she either completely ignores my boundary needs, or tells my dad that I've been "mean to her," at which point he confronts me about whatever it is my mom told him. Usually her perception of events are skewed by her emotional reaction, at which point my dad is responding to something that didn't really happen the way he heard it did. I've started to have rage fits (while alone, no yelling or violence...yet, lol) and I've started to yell at people while by myself in my room; they aren't even there, and usually I'm yelling at them for things they haven't even said yet.
Please...I need some guidance! I'm going crazy, and I don't feel secure or serene at all.
Sounds like a great day Ella. Out of curiosity, are you and your husband learning together at the same level? (That's fo' sho' cute). Welcome to the forum
Nervy,
Your mom sounds lonely. I'm a mom and I sometimes miss my son - even when he's home from university. He has his own life and it is healthy to become independent but he's good fun to be around and I really like spending time with him. I have to remind myself to give him space....It is really hard for some moms to let go of their 'baby' especially if they have little else in their life. Your mom is scared of losing you and really missing you. Especially as you are due to move out. Maybe try and spend some time with her - I take my son out to lunch or we go to a coffee shop together to read. Then he goes off to do his thing and we've spent some time together. It works for our family...
So yesterday was an interesting day! I went boating and snorkeling on a friend's boat. The reef was mostly covered by a sandbar so there were not many fish.
The interesting part was when we got back to the dock we got our stuff together and got in the truck and tried to leave. It turned out that my friend parked in the wrong place the truck got stuck in the sand and it took 2 hours for us to get it out! The two other people I was with became upset and started to argue. I thought to myself "Ah, this is the perfect time to practice the Buddhas teaching of "not wanting"! In other words, to stop wanting the truck to not be stuck in the sand. When I did that an interesting thing happened. The two other people I was with started to calm down and stopped arguing! And it became a fun little project to get the truck out of the sand instead of a "stressful disaster". It was very interesting to watch the situation transform from one to the other almost all by itself.
Thanks for the response...I was definitely in an uncomfortable place. Thankfully it's Mother's Day today, and I painted her a really nice card with watercolor, and made her a meditation CD mix. After getting a night or two of sleep, the resentment faded. Really it had nothing to do with my mother, my mind just associated the feeling I was having to the most obvious stimulus that was present. Thankfully I don't have to be a slave to my mind for any longer than I choose to!
Seeker242, that's what I call a great real-life application of the Buddha's teachings. We would all do well in moving a bit more towards real life application, than mere "book learning". Good job and I'm glad you ended up improving a potentially stressful and frustrating situation.
Really it had nothing to do with my mother, my mind just associated the feeling I was having to the most obvious stimulus that was present. Thankfully I don't have to be a slave to my mind for any longer than I choose to!
Good to know you came to that realization Nervy. Sometimes we look for external sources for our confusion and pain, when the truth is, the reasons for it, are right there, within you.
Comments
Ah, and that doesn't imply that one becomes one when they join...or does it?
Welcome to the forum Irris!
I gave up my TV shows. I, who have lived selfishly on TV shows, movies and video games for most of my life, gave up one of them.
That's not to say I won't watch TV sometimes (at random, not to follow series), but it should be understood I have a list of 18 television shows that when in season I either always watch, or if I miss an episode I find it on the internet to watch/download (missing eps. to me is like skipping a chapter in a book... unthinkable).
That's many hours per week of watching or worrying about entertainment.
Merlin, True Blood, Sons of Tucson, House, NCIS, Justified, Human Target, Psych, Burn Notice, Fringe, Supernatural, Vampire Diaries, Bones, Sanctuary, Smallville, Stargate Universe, Legend of the Seeker, Dexter... I'LL MISS YOU *sniff*
It's difficult to give up what you love, but in most cases what you love are just your attachments that distract you from real life, and from doing more important things to free your mind from its delusional state.
Hope everyone else had a nice day?
Ciao for now...
Just think about how much more often you can watch the Stephen show! I bet you have a lot of missed episodes to catch up on :P
With warmth,
Matt
I just feel much "lighter" now. It's easier to see that Stephen show, yes.
Love & Peace
Jellybean
Do you drink enough water? I used to have almost those exact symptoms before I became a big water-drinker. Soda is the devil.
With warmth,
Matt
Well, A devil.
Love & Peace
Jellybean
For some reason, I wasn't too annoyed or displeased with the situation. Just patiently waited, listening to music on my iPod.
After that, I took a cab where the driver had the worse B.O. in the world and I had to open the window in spite of the drizzle outside. LoL. Fun times.
Oh and, I've never even heard about "blackcurrent". What is it? is it a fruit? (Too lazy to Google it at the moment, lol).
Hope you enjoyed yesterday
All the best,
Jellybean
Is it good? Does it have a tangy or sweet taste?
But yeah, today should be better for me, as I have no need to ride in cabs and it will probably just be an easy going day at home, reading more about Buddhism.
Hope you all have a good day as well!
All the best,
Jellybean
I know how people who are very active, can feel a lil overwhelmed when they have a longer than expected period of free time, so I know what you mean purpleparadox.
Browsing the forums on your days off sounds like a great way to fill some time while learning meaningful and helpful things.
Mtns
All the best,
Jellybean
Yes Jellybean, that's exactly what it means. I think I posted about that on my thread in the members only section, but you probably didn't see it, which is fine.
Had a really great meditation last night, too, and then thought that I should read some of the self-love book I'm working on but really wasn't feeling it, so I did a couple of logic puzzles and went to bed early. I feel so rested today!
Hope everyone is having a good week!
All the best,
Jellybean
as my medication that am on makes me very sleepy
am awake now and looking on line about Buddhism
Good to see you around. A day sleeping is bittersweet for me, because on one hand, it's peaceful and easy, but then on the other it seems like such a waste of precious time to be living to the fullest.
All the best,
Jellybean
Oh man, I'm sorry you were feeling bad and crying. Break ups are so hard and sometimes the pain they bring can endure for years and years after the fact.
I like what you said here. There's always much to be learned in relationships and like you say, even if it didn't work out in the end, the things you learned and how you changed while you were together, will probably always stay with you.
Have a great day (or what's left of it) and keep up the good work. You have a very positive energy about you and that can only help in your journey to more self-love and enlightenment.
Thanks so much, light. I was actually just thinking about how even though it's a painful day, I'm impressed with myself for not really holding onto the pain as much as I would have even just a couple of months ago. I used to spend my "bad days" at work seeking a few minutes to go hide in the bathroom to cry, but today I'm just focusing on giving good customer service, and the customers have been very friendly back so there's lots of good energy moving around. :cool:
reading about mediation and how to mediate
Am also listening to some Buddhist chants that my husband downloaded for me .
Ella
That's what I'd call BIG progress. Keep up the good work.
I had a good meditation session today and as I type this, I still feel the peace and stillness that's "leftover" from sitting five minutes ago. Very nice feeling indeed.
My day was almost normal, but I went out of the house today for a change. Drank coffee as well, which I shouldn't do, as it amplifies my bodily/mind problems. I just can't help myself sometimes. I think I really like coffee too much.
I was doing just a tiny bit of daily breathing meditation this year but I wasn't getting anything out of it so instead of concentrating on breathing I just let my mind drift into my breaths, or into my blank mind, or just to the middle distance or the blank glass of a mirror. It sort of made me feel, calmer, and better, at the end. I also started the first few seconds of Tong-Len I think it's called.
All the best,
Jellybean
That sounds great! I love having that feeling linger around and I believe that the more I practice, the longer the effects will stick around afterwards.
Thanks for the kind words, too!
Love N Peace - glad to hear about your positive time meditating too!
I had a GREAT day after all yesterday. I was so proud of myself for handling my pain better than I ever would before, and actually acknowledging it as pain rather than trying to find something outside of myself to get angry at. I got to go out and buy a new dress after work for a party next weekend, and it's the first article of clothing I've bought since I lost some weight (I'm 47 pounds down!) and it looks fantastic!
Then I had a date with a pretty amazing guy! He makes me laugh and keeps my spirits lifted when we're together. I usually focus so much on what could go wrong and why I shouldn't enjoy my time with men (I should focus on myself, this could end badly, etc.) but I just relaxed and had a good time, and I'm just thankful! The Universe will continue to carry on no matter what I worry about!
Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend! :crazy:
All the best
Jellybean
Wow, 47lbs. lost is a huge accomplishment. Good job! I got it into my head that I wanted to lose weight a couple years ago and I ended up losing 40lbs. But then a year later, I ended up gaining a bunch back. I'm still not at my fattest ever, but still. Lost the motivation to diet and exercise.
This is great. It sounds like you had fun and handled your fears and worries very well. Glad you had a good time and enjoyed the company of a positive, funny person.
Have a great weekend all!
My mom doesn't work, so she's in the house a lot too. It's gotten to the point where I can't relax practically *ever* because I know any minute she's going to come knock on my door to bother me with some bullshit, like how to unplug her iPod, or how to turn on the DVD player (both of which she has had for several years and uses daily). I feel like I have no where to go to feel safe and relaxed...my computer is here and my guitar/amp/recording, etc. is here. The food is here, my bed is here... I feel so trapped, and what's worse...I feel like my ability to have empathy and compassion is dying, almost dead completely.
I'm moving out next month, but I have another 3 weeks to go. I feel like I'm gonna die...and every time I try to tell her that I need space, she either completely ignores my boundary needs, or tells my dad that I've been "mean to her," at which point he confronts me about whatever it is my mom told him. Usually her perception of events are skewed by her emotional reaction, at which point my dad is responding to something that didn't really happen the way he heard it did. I've started to have rage fits (while alone, no yelling or violence...yet, lol) and I've started to yell at people while by myself in my room; they aren't even there, and usually I'm yelling at them for things they haven't even said yet.
Please...I need some guidance! I'm going crazy, and I don't feel secure or serene at all.
my husband don't fallow any religion
Your mom sounds lonely. I'm a mom and I sometimes miss my son - even when he's home from university. He has his own life and it is healthy to become independent but he's good fun to be around and I really like spending time with him. I have to remind myself to give him space....It is really hard for some moms to let go of their 'baby' especially if they have little else in their life. Your mom is scared of losing you and really missing you. Especially as you are due to move out. Maybe try and spend some time with her - I take my son out to lunch or we go to a coffee shop together to read. Then he goes off to do his thing and we've spent some time together. It works for our family...
All the best,
Jellybean
The interesting part was when we got back to the dock we got our stuff together and got in the truck and tried to leave. It turned out that my friend parked in the wrong place the truck got stuck in the sand and it took 2 hours for us to get it out! The two other people I was with became upset and started to argue. I thought to myself "Ah, this is the perfect time to practice the Buddhas teaching of "not wanting"! In other words, to stop wanting the truck to not be stuck in the sand. When I did that an interesting thing happened. The two other people I was with started to calm down and stopped arguing! And it became a fun little project to get the truck out of the sand instead of a "stressful disaster". It was very interesting to watch the situation transform from one to the other almost all by itself.
and now am on forums reading posts
Ella
Good to know you came to that realization Nervy. Sometimes we look for external sources for our confusion and pain, when the truth is, the reasons for it, are right there, within you.
All the best,
Jellybean