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Today was kind of an emotional day. I was at my parents' house doing wedding stuff and I got my new (old, actually- it's refurbished) monitor- which was exciting! I also got to see our wedding bands and that was also exciting. Mine still has to be finished, so I had to leave it there but I did get to take home my fiancee's. We got a bunch of wedding stuff done, which was kind of a relief, although some stuff is still kind of hanging out there and making me a bit nervous. Then, while I was doing laundry (Free Laundry Mat... called my parents' house. Lame? yes. But ... it's free!) I found out that there had been an accident with some bleach my mom was using on her pillows earlier and it ruined four of my fiancee's shirts, including the brand new one I got for his birthday (that he actually liked!). I was pretty upset but I tried using the techniques to just cut the storyline and be there with the feelings. I think it helped me have a better attitude. Right after dinner my mom and I raced off to try to replace the shirts, and thankfully we were able to exactly replace the birthday shirt.
Now I'm home, and my fiancee laughed at my issues with the bleach and said that the new shirts I bought him were better than the ones they replaced... true or not it made me feel better. Plus, my new 24 inch monitor is awesome! Now I just have a few more wedding things to work out...
My cats also lay on the floor next to me and just chill out when I'm meditating! I love it, I really do think they can feel the energy and want to be near me when I'm also in touch with it. When I'm not meditating, they just do typical cat stuff like sit by the food bowl and meow for hours, paw at the back door wanting out, and lay out lazy on my bed.
Zachaa, I'm glad you were able to try and use some of the techniques to let the stories go and deal with just watching the feelings. Glad it worked out in the end for you too!
I had a pretty great week! Had an amazing meditation last night and finally finished Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. I'm about to start another book about self-acceptance but I don't think it's from a Buddhist standpoint.
Finally come to terms that the reason I'm feeling so upset in my relationship is that it's due to craving, greed and attachment to my expectations of him. Instead of needing them, it's more of wanting them. Now in a quiet Starbucks calming myself down and preparing for a huge change in my attitude and behaviour. Need to learn to be more detached when my mind starts to form a whirlpool...
Finally come to terms that the reason I'm feeling so upset in my relationship is that it's due to craving, greed and attachment to my expectations of him. Instead of needing them, it's more of wanting them. Now in a quiet Starbucks calming myself down and preparing for a huge change in my attitude and behaviour. Need to learn to be more detached when my mind starts to form a whirlpool...
It's a huge step that you realized this and you are definitely on the right track for a very positive change. We hold sometimes unreasonable expectations from ourselves and others and this only contributes to our unhappiness and frustration. Good for you that you have the intention to break those patterns.
Treeluvr, your cats sound awesome! My rabbit doesn't want to have much to do with me- she likes my fiancee better!
babystars- that's a big revelation, congrats. I hope that you go forth and use it to improve your life and also remember- you're certainly not alone!
Yesterday I got quite the shocker. A piece of certified mail was delivered to me, and inside was a letter explaining that my layoff letter had been rescinded and that my job was one of 200 saved by the furloughs! I knew about the 200 jobs but never in a million years did I think that I would be saved because I was really, really, REALLY far down on the seniority list. I still don't know how this happened- there are other middle school teachers higher than me on the list that weren't saved. I have no clue why me. I realize that I don't have to know- I am ecstatic and thankful! I'm also just curious! I am also interested in the wording of the letter- "your position has been restored"- does that mean that I will go back to my previous school or...??? Doesn't matter- at least I have a job! I'm hoping that in three weeks when I get back from my honeymoon I'll have a bit more info. Right now I'm content to cover chairs with tulle and try my best to arrange my guests at the correct tables
Wow, congratulations Zachaa! What a nice item to receive in the mail.
Those days before a wedding can be great and difficult at the same time, so I wish you the best of luck with the preparations and the day itself. Congrats on that too.
Babystars - very good revelation! It's so hard to acknowledge when we've been living under the guise that if only so-and-so would do this, or if only I could just stop doing this, THEN I will be happy. Accept happiness now and continue to work towards being in the moment. I love your signature, it's always a great quote to keep in mind especially when going through something like this.
I'm also working on a major shift in seeking happiness from outside myself. Keep us posted on how it's going for you!
Zachaa - THAT IS SO GREAT!!!! So happy for your great news!
lightwithin- thanks It's definitely a big step for me and it's sure gonna take lots of practice, determination and patience to break out of that vicious cycle. Then again, I've read somewhere that when it hurts, you will learn to let go. I think that applies to many things too.
Zachaa - Thanks! I believe many are out there struggling with all those attachments too. And CONGRATS! Share your happiness with those around you!
TreeLuvr87 - Yeah, it's so hard to acknowledge it because it would mean that you've some work to do instead of just daydreaming or blaming others. I love my signature too! It's a constant reminder to me during daily life especially when you get frustrated and all. Oh and I love cats too! I can't have them since I'm living in a high rise building. Don't wanna risk them "committing suicide". Love the way cats rub against your body to say hi!
Still trying hard to keep the peace within. Whenever my mind starts to wander to those negative areas, I have to remind myself," You really don't wanna go there. Enough with all those misery. What will come, will come. Just enjoy the present." It's tough, it's hard but what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger
Finally come to terms that the reason I'm feeling so upset in my relationship is that it's due to craving, greed and attachment to my expectations of him. Instead of needing them, it's more of wanting them.
I'm going through the same right now, a whirlpool of emotional energy that's trying to manifest itself on a physical plane, but have to work through them and not get sidetrack by them. Oh relationships!
Yesterday I got quite the shocker. A piece of certified mail was delivered to me, and inside was a letter explaining that my layoff letter had been rescinded and that my job was one of 200 saved by the furloughs!
Thats awesome and good for you! I had a similar experience; I applied for a job a few days ago and was notified that my resume stood out the most out of 40 people, and was one of 4 people that were interviewed. So I'm just waiting to receive the verdict tomorrow.
Inmostlight - All the best of luck! I'm still trying hard to detach from my expectations. Trying to make it into a practice. It requires high awareness in order to stop the negative thoughts from manifesting. Nonetheless, it's possible for the Blessed One has done so
Hi everybody, had a bit of rocky week. Feeling a little sad and irritated. I can't put my finger on why. Also, the group I normally go to stop for a 6wk break...boo! I think the irritation and sadness I feel is exacerbated by not going to group, as this helps to keep me on track...keeping inner-stillness.
I have tried meditation almost every day, walking with my dog for hours but my mind won't keep still, thus I have reacted to a couple of situations and not just responded!!
Advice would be greatfully received.
Have a good wkend
Inmostlight- Awesome!!!! Good luck and I hope you get the job!
northern lights- I don't know if I have any advice... just a reminder that this, too, shall pass and that the fact that your mind won't seem to settle is part of your path, and you're learning to deal with that. I hope you feel better soon. Do you have any movies that make you laugh no matter what? That's what I'd try.
My wedding was yesterday and it was truly awesome- everything I could have asked for, including some hilarious snags. First, after arriving at the site an hour and a half away on Friday I realized that I had left the wedding license back at the apartment! We had to get a friend to get into the apartment to get it!
Then the best man's car drove right up to the lodge and stopped working, in classic fashion. They pushed it up next to my husband's car... and later my husband turned it on and his car had a "Service Engine" light. So on Saturday (the day of the wedding) when the guys went out to lunch, they filled the best man's car with gas and it started, so they figured it was just gas. They got there just fine but on the way back it wouldn't start! It caused some anxiety
One of the bridesmaids' dresses had a bum zipper, so we ended up sewing her into her dress!
And finally, I lost my shoe on the way up to the altar!
Miraculously, I was completely calm through all of this. It was already hilarious- what's a wedding without the funny stories and mishaps?
The ceremony was beautiful- I even managed to stick some Buddhist ideas into it as part of our vows! So happy!
Congratulations Zachaa! I'm glad you enjoyed it and plowed through the setbacks. There will always be something that goes wrong but it doesn't mean it has to ruin the whole day right? Best of luck in your new married-life.
Didn't read all the post since I've been gone. I've been falling behind on my emails. I answered 30 with in the last hour. I used to wait in excitement for an email to enter my box but now I almost cry LOL! I've had a good day. It's the summer holidays.
Oh, and some bad news with my friends.
My friend Hannah keeps asking me out even though I said no and my two friend Ollie and Cheska have broken up because he told her secret and she has to be counciled now
It is very interesting reading peoples comments going back many many days This thread was a golden thought I must admit.
My day however was not so pleasant. I have been trying to understand why and let go of it but it remains in the present lol. Over the weekend I was content as I had advanced with my meditation and being mindful, I had learned some valuable techniques and words of wisdom and felt at peace with myself for a few days.
Yesterday things started to crash down around me, I think it is a multitude of small things that contribute to this overall feeling of sadness that paints my day with a pan tone gray. I cannot focus so well in meditation, I have very little money until my new bank card comes through the post, if it does that is... It is not certain as the post in thailand can go astray. Until then I have as of now 190 baht which is about £4 lol. My sleeping patterns have gone upside down and I have no real routine at the moment, I have the memory and notion of my ex partner starting to edge its way back into my life day by day and it also seems to be the start of monsoon season here..
lOl, so yea this was my day and 2moro is another day so I am trying to 'let go' of it and be at peace. Harder than it sounds for me to do ..
Had a bittersweet evening
To start my mother, my dog and I went to my mother's friend (Mandy's) house. Well when I say house...
She has three sons, a husband, a mum and a sister and they all used to live in this bungalow with dozens of dogs and a few horses. Then Mandy, her husband and her three sons (plus one of their westies called Snowy) moved to this beautiful old farm. Well, it will be a beautiful farm. The boys are living in one caravan and Mr and Mrs mum's friend in another. The farm had two big barns and an old farmhouse which they're going to renevate They have fifty acres too They got some animals, three ducks, four or five chickens and two calves and they're going to get some pigs. I don't know about the pigs (they might not be free-range I mean what's more important? A few extra notes for more bacon or a sentient being (more intelligent than a dog even) having a good life?) but I was happy with the cows. Her youngest son (16) is a bit like me and believes animals deserve good lives. So they're going to have a comfy barn and a big field for their set two years of life before they're humanely killed and carved up, (sad-but-happy-smilie). The youngest son also let me feed the soon-to-be bullock, who's actually much gentler and tame than the female. Plus I had a free range duck egg for dinner and got a couple to take home to make some buns. Then gave the bad bit My half-brother wasn't wanting to go see a plumber for an apprentaship and Mandy was saying why don't you invest your money in a pig? He said he only had £50 and my mum asked how he got it. To cut a long story short we found out he'd been transporting money to a coke dealer and that my scum-bag good-for-nothing half-uncle had asked him to deal some. Luckily my brother said F**k off, which is one thing
ThialandTom, I know it doesn't seem to be easy, but try being OKAY with the fact that things are not going well for you right now. Try to let go of the desire to have things be perfect. Continue to let go of your feelings as they arise, but recognize that they will keep coming back. You cannot control your feelings as they arrive. You can control how much you desire for things to be "happy" or "good," and less desire for that will naturally lead to more contentment with unpleasant feelings. Keep your head up! Things will improve. You will be alright. You are alright now after going through all that you've gone through in life.
Nickidoodle, I'm so sorry you had to find out about your brother that way! I hope that he continues to be smart about not getting involved in dealing drugs. I also hope that your day is better today!
Today is good for me, not much going on either good or bad. I found out earlier that I'd accidentally let three charges overdraft my bank account this weekend, and felt frustrated, angry with myself, stupid, undeserving, and pissy. But I sat with those feelings, let myself cry a little bit, and wondered, "I know I'm trying to stop judging myself and others so much, but how can I NOT judge this as stupid?!?" and then it struck me. Yes, it was a stupid thing to do. No, the single action does not make me stupid. I am kind, compassionate, and deserving of love energy at my core. I do not need to attach myself to the desire to have everything happen without problems/issues. So, this didn't turn into a reactive cycle like it would have a few months ago. And I feel good about that.
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited July 2010
I moved this thread from the Beginners' Forum to the General Banter Forum, as it seems more fitting to be chatting here....Can't think why we didn't do it earlier, really...
Anyway:
I just thought I'd let everyone know that my partner (who used to post on here often, in the guise of 'Abraham',) has, after 4 very long, very gruelling, laborious, intense and difficult years - achieved his 1st Class Honours Degree in Law.
he got the results through, online, form the Law Examining Board, about ten minutes ago.
It's ok when a grown man cries.
He's more than earnt that right.
It's been a most trying time for us both, but now, at least the really hard bit's over.
Now, it just gets difficult....:)
That is absolutely wonderful! I can imagine both of you share great elation over such an accomplishment, and it is well deserved! Does that make him an official, practicing lawyer in the U.K. (or whatever you crazy brits call it )?
I am kind, compassionate, and deserving of love energy at my core. I do not need to attach myself to the desire to have everything happen without problems/issues. So, this didn't turn into a reactive cycle like it would have a few months ago. And I feel good about that.
I'm glad you were able to catch yourself before your feelings got out of hand. It shows you're making progress on your journey so congratulations on that!
I just thought I'd let everyone know that my partner (who used to post on here often, in the guise of 'Abraham',) has, after 4 very long, very gruelling, laborious, intense and difficult years - achieved his 1st Class Honours Degree in Law.
he got the results through, online, form the Law Examining Board, about ten minutes ago.
It's ok when a grown man cries.
He's more than earnt that right.
It's been a most trying time for us both, but now, at least the really hard bit's over.
Now, it just gets difficult....:)
Congratulations to you and your partner! It must be great for both you and him to know his hard work and dedication payed off and he finally achieved his goal. I would totally shed happy tears if I was in that situation too.
Hey, everyone! Just wanted to check in and report that my days have been pretty great. Increasingly so as my meditation and yoga persists. There is still a ton of pain in my life, but it's refreshing to see how easily it is to let it pass when I don't cling onto it. I'm happy to make Buddhism and yoga parts of my life.
Nothing too special has been going on. I just secured the final word for a vacation to Florida to visit my father Labor Day weekend! I'm catsitting for the neatest cat in the world and still giving my own plenty of loving. Work is up in the air; our contract could be terminated soon if another company outbids us, however I'm ready for whatever happens. I truly believe that if I'm meant to stay here, we'll get renewed, and if we don't get renewed, then there's a whole new area of life for me to explore. Oh, and the sun has been shining. Things are good here lately :-)
Hey, everyone! Just wanted to check in and report that my days have been pretty great. Increasingly so as my meditation and yoga persists. There is still a ton of pain in my life, but it's refreshing to see how easily it is to let it pass when I don't cling onto it. I'm happy to make Buddhism and yoga parts of my life.
Nothing too special has been going on. I just secured the final word for a vacation to Florida to visit my father Labor Day weekend! I'm catsitting for the neatest cat in the world and still giving my own plenty of loving. Work is up in the air; our contract could be terminated soon if another company outbids us, however I'm ready for whatever happens. I truly believe that if I'm meant to stay here, we'll get renewed, and if we don't get renewed, then there's a whole new area of life for me to explore. Oh, and the sun has been shining. Things are good here lately :-)
Wow, it sounds like you've been doing very well and that's good to hear. I have my share of pain and stress in my life lately as well, but I'd like to think I'm dealing with it a bit better than before too.
We're moving house at we found a nice broken-down barn with a crumbled piggery, an acre of overgrown garden, a few young trees and a dried up lake. Unfortunately it's a listed building so it might be too expensive, my mum's boyfriend, his brother and his father are builders so it'll save costs but it'll still be very expensive and will quite likely be unafordable. All going well we'll have a beautiful four-bedroom barn with a wild patch, a willow tree, a vegetable patch, a wild fenced off lake and a piggery. And for the animals... My dog would be accompanied with a hunting labrador, we'd get a farm cat which would live in the piggery, my rabbits would be put in a large hutch/run ariar with a couple of seperate guinea pigs, my budgie'd be in a small aviary with a few quails, I've got my tropical fish, there'll be a few chickens pecking around and a few ducks in the lake. But even if that doesn't happen we'll still be getting a garden with a big a garden as possible and do as many of the things above as we can.
Nickidoodle, that sounds so exciting! Have you guys had any luck selling the house you're in now?
My day has started poorly. I ran over a cat on my way to work this morning and I know that things are impermanent, and I know that I couldn't avoid it because he jumped out in front of me, but I still can't get rid of this overwhelming guilt and remorse and sadness. I guess I don't need to get rid of it. It shows my compassion, and if I sit with the pain, it will pass. I'm sitting here trying to resist it because I'm at work and don't want to be crying or appear weak, but I really need to just let it all move through me. I just love cats so much! I've ran over squirrels, raccoons, possums on accident, and it never hurt this much. I know that it's just the emphasis I'm placing on the cat, that it's not really any more valuable than a squirrel, but this hurts! The worst part is that it looked just like a cat that I grew up with that passed away this Spring, and I hadn't really cried about him dying, so it's just all pouring out this morning. I'm working alone so I have to be strong and appear to have everything together, with work and with myself. I feel very sad, overwhelmed, and frustrated with myself for a) not being stronger and then b) being frustrated with myself for not being stronger; I am allowed to be weak, and I am definitely allowed to feel guilt over killing a perfect little kitty, accident or not. I'll just keep sitting with the feelings and hope that between customer interactions, I'll have some time to close my eyes and focus on breath.
Just broke up with my boyfriend since he doesn't need me anymore, which means whatever I do for the relationship is meaningless. Since I saw it coming, my expectations meets the reality. And I guess, I'm taking it quite well. In a way, I'm actually glad this happened since it distracted me from my mother's death too. For either of the matters, I'm not allowing myself to play back memories in my mind and make myself suffer. I'm just concentrating on the present, not allowing myself to cling to what happened since I've accepted it. I'm also glad I was studying more on Buddhism before all these happened. It was because of that, that I could actually move on much faster. One day, I'll be able to totally move on from these.
babystars, sorry about your bf, but I'm glad to hear you're doing well.
Don't feel bad treeluvr *hug*. It wasn't your fault.
The barn is looking less likely with the prices my mum's bf Clive said I'm afraid. However, I'll do all I can with the size of garden we get. Here's a list of the order of things we'd have if the land was big enough. My house has not yet had any viewings, although a man said he'll call later next week
1. Build hutch/run for rabbits with wire separating them.
2. Purchase chickens and chicken hut.
3. Dig a vegetable patch.
4. Build an avery for budgie and put some quails in.
5. Add a pond for some ducks, (get some ducks anyway if a pond is already there).
6. Get a willow tree if one is not already there.
7. If there is over an acre get some sheep and goats, for every acre get a farm cat for rats and mice, and have a wild patch for wild life.
Also Clive might get a dog to accompany him hunting. Of course, the bigger garden we have, the further down the list we can get. I agree, it's quite exciting.
I'm enjoying myself. My mum's out and by brother's babysitting me, although he's taken control of the TV At least I have the laptop He gave me some dandelion & burdock from a bottle, he told me to get a glass so I with a lot of embarrassing clinking as I moved the glasses to find a clean pint glass, and got a pint of the delicious soft drink
Glad to hear you're enjoying yourself, Nikkidoodle!
I've had a good week, I'm in charge at work since my boss (the only other worker here) is out on vacation. It's been slow though, which is great because I've been reading through The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching and can definitely see why everyone talks about how well Thich Nhat Hahn writes. I want to try a longer meditation than normal this weekend, and it should be a good one because I've got a nice long solo weekend planned. I've got to spend some time at home with my cat; I've been out a lot and she gets these stress spots that she scratches and turn into giant open sores. Gross, and so sad! Poor thing! She needs her mama at home.
I hope you and your cat have a lovely weekend of meditation and fun ahead of you TreeLuvr For children is it the Holidays in Virginia? In the UK we have a six week holiday off school I know Sweden has a holiday 'cos my mum was off at work, but she's back know (she works for a Swedish company).
At the minute my grandparents are watching Emerdale* repeats and I'm going to watch Mongrels** afterwards on BBC iplayer***.
*Emerdale is an English drama.
**Mongrels is a London comedy.
***That's what you watch BBC shows on the internet at. BBC is a TV channel.
(sorry, I don't know if you have any of those in Virginia )
It has been one of those days where attachments to material objects and sentient beings has lead to great suffering. A lonely end to a pantone grey day
Nicki, thanks! Yeah, I think the kids are still out of school down here. They usually stay out for three months during the summer, I think. And we have BBC but we have a version called BBC America, so it's probably not much like your version out there. We get all the watered down stuff. I don't know much about current British TV shows, but I have always had a strong love for AbFab! They show reruns sometimes out here on Comedy Central.
Tom, I hope that your day hasn't truly "end"ed yet, and that you can find some respite before bed. If not, let it stay here today, and begin anew tomorrow if you can!
It is 2.30am lol.Not much happened, I just get these moments where I am totally unsatisfied with life, where I feel alone and that I need to get away from it all. It is hard to explain, it is as if the more I realise my suffering the more I suffer. A lot of the time I am content with the situation I am in and the suddenly I am not.
You have the BBC in usa?? I have fox news here in thailand lol. glenn beck!!
I don't watch the TV much these days lol, maybe an hour a day.. The news is always so negative anyway.
I read your thread about the death threats mugzy, although I could not find any words at the time. I am sure it will fizzle down as the anger subsides, but I do not know the entire picture
I like Little Britain, Beautiful People, and Skins. And of course the Vicar of Dibley
I like them too. Ever seen Little Britain USA? Skins is alright and the Vicar of Dibley is hilarious. Mongrels is just classic though. Who could come up with a bitchy dog, a cynical pigeon, a crazy cat, a thuggish fox and his metrosexual middle-class brother?
Nicki, thanks! Yeah, I think the kids are still out of school down here. They usually stay out for three months during the summer, I think. And we have BBC but we have a version called BBC America, so it's probably not much like your version out there. We get all the watered down stuff. I don't know much about current British TV shows, but I have always had a strong love for AbFab! They show reruns sometimes out here on Comedy Central.
Tom, I hope that your day hasn't truly "end"ed yet, and that you can find some respite before bed. If not, let it stay here today, and begin anew tomorrow if you can!
There was a rabbit and the rabbit got eaten by an eagle. The eagle died and its corpse was eaten by a worm. The worm fertilised the earth and helped the grass grow. The rabbit ate the grass
-Life!
Comments
Now I'm home, and my fiancee laughed at my issues with the bleach and said that the new shirts I bought him were better than the ones they replaced... true or not it made me feel better. Plus, my new 24 inch monitor is awesome! Now I just have a few more wedding things to work out...
Zachaa, I'm glad you were able to try and use some of the techniques to let the stories go and deal with just watching the feelings. Glad it worked out in the end for you too!
I had a pretty great week! Had an amazing meditation last night and finally finished Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. I'm about to start another book about self-acceptance but I don't think it's from a Buddhist standpoint.
Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!!
It's a huge step that you realized this and you are definitely on the right track for a very positive change. We hold sometimes unreasonable expectations from ourselves and others and this only contributes to our unhappiness and frustration. Good for you that you have the intention to break those patterns.
Best of luck to you.
babystars- that's a big revelation, congrats. I hope that you go forth and use it to improve your life and also remember- you're certainly not alone!
Yesterday I got quite the shocker. A piece of certified mail was delivered to me, and inside was a letter explaining that my layoff letter had been rescinded and that my job was one of 200 saved by the furloughs! I knew about the 200 jobs but never in a million years did I think that I would be saved because I was really, really, REALLY far down on the seniority list. I still don't know how this happened- there are other middle school teachers higher than me on the list that weren't saved. I have no clue why me. I realize that I don't have to know- I am ecstatic and thankful! I'm also just curious! I am also interested in the wording of the letter- "your position has been restored"- does that mean that I will go back to my previous school or...??? Doesn't matter- at least I have a job! I'm hoping that in three weeks when I get back from my honeymoon I'll have a bit more info. Right now I'm content to cover chairs with tulle and try my best to arrange my guests at the correct tables
Those days before a wedding can be great and difficult at the same time, so I wish you the best of luck with the preparations and the day itself. Congrats on that too.
I'm also working on a major shift in seeking happiness from outside myself. Keep us posted on how it's going for you!
Zachaa - THAT IS SO GREAT!!!! So happy for your great news!
Zachaa - Thanks! I believe many are out there struggling with all those attachments too. And CONGRATS! Share your happiness with those around you!
TreeLuvr87 - Yeah, it's so hard to acknowledge it because it would mean that you've some work to do instead of just daydreaming or blaming others. I love my signature too! It's a constant reminder to me during daily life especially when you get frustrated and all. Oh and I love cats too! I can't have them since I'm living in a high rise building. Don't wanna risk them "committing suicide". Love the way cats rub against your body to say hi!
Still trying hard to keep the peace within. Whenever my mind starts to wander to those negative areas, I have to remind myself," You really don't wanna go there. Enough with all those misery. What will come, will come. Just enjoy the present." It's tough, it's hard but what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger
Thats awesome and good for you! I had a similar experience; I applied for a job a few days ago and was notified that my resume stood out the most out of 40 people, and was one of 4 people that were interviewed. So I'm just waiting to receive the verdict tomorrow.
I have tried meditation almost every day, walking with my dog for hours but my mind won't keep still, thus I have reacted to a couple of situations and not just responded!!
Advice would be greatfully received.
Have a good wkend
northern lights- I don't know if I have any advice... just a reminder that this, too, shall pass and that the fact that your mind won't seem to settle is part of your path, and you're learning to deal with that. I hope you feel better soon. Do you have any movies that make you laugh no matter what? That's what I'd try.
My wedding was yesterday and it was truly awesome- everything I could have asked for, including some hilarious snags. First, after arriving at the site an hour and a half away on Friday I realized that I had left the wedding license back at the apartment! We had to get a friend to get into the apartment to get it!
Then the best man's car drove right up to the lodge and stopped working, in classic fashion. They pushed it up next to my husband's car... and later my husband turned it on and his car had a "Service Engine" light. So on Saturday (the day of the wedding) when the guys went out to lunch, they filled the best man's car with gas and it started, so they figured it was just gas. They got there just fine but on the way back it wouldn't start! It caused some anxiety
One of the bridesmaids' dresses had a bum zipper, so we ended up sewing her into her dress!
And finally, I lost my shoe on the way up to the altar!
Miraculously, I was completely calm through all of this. It was already hilarious- what's a wedding without the funny stories and mishaps?
The ceremony was beautiful- I even managed to stick some Buddhist ideas into it as part of our vows! So happy!
Nickidoodle Jellybean
My friend Hannah keeps asking me out even though I said no and my two friend Ollie and Cheska have broken up because he told her secret and she has to be counciled now
Nickidoodle Jellybean
My day however was not so pleasant. I have been trying to understand why and let go of it but it remains in the present lol. Over the weekend I was content as I had advanced with my meditation and being mindful, I had learned some valuable techniques and words of wisdom and felt at peace with myself for a few days.
Yesterday things started to crash down around me, I think it is a multitude of small things that contribute to this overall feeling of sadness that paints my day with a pan tone gray. I cannot focus so well in meditation, I have very little money until my new bank card comes through the post, if it does that is... It is not certain as the post in thailand can go astray. Until then I have as of now 190 baht which is about £4 lol. My sleeping patterns have gone upside down and I have no real routine at the moment, I have the memory and notion of my ex partner starting to edge its way back into my life day by day and it also seems to be the start of monsoon season here..
lOl, so yea this was my day and 2moro is another day so I am trying to 'let go' of it and be at peace. Harder than it sounds for me to do ..
To start my mother, my dog and I went to my mother's friend (Mandy's) house. Well when I say house...
She has three sons, a husband, a mum and a sister and they all used to live in this bungalow with dozens of dogs and a few horses. Then Mandy, her husband and her three sons (plus one of their westies called Snowy) moved to this beautiful old farm. Well, it will be a beautiful farm. The boys are living in one caravan and Mr and Mrs mum's friend in another. The farm had two big barns and an old farmhouse which they're going to renevate
Nickidoodle Jellybean
Firstly, congratulations on your marriage. Your post made me smile!
Nickidoodle, I'm so sorry you had to find out about your brother that way! I hope that he continues to be smart about not getting involved in dealing drugs. I also hope that your day is better today!
Today is good for me, not much going on either good or bad. I found out earlier that I'd accidentally let three charges overdraft my bank account this weekend, and felt frustrated, angry with myself, stupid, undeserving, and pissy. But I sat with those feelings, let myself cry a little bit, and wondered, "I know I'm trying to stop judging myself and others so much, but how can I NOT judge this as stupid?!?" and then it struck me. Yes, it was a stupid thing to do. No, the single action does not make me stupid. I am kind, compassionate, and deserving of love energy at my core. I do not need to attach myself to the desire to have everything happen without problems/issues. So, this didn't turn into a reactive cycle like it would have a few months ago. And I feel good about that.
Anyway:
I just thought I'd let everyone know that my partner (who used to post on here often, in the guise of 'Abraham',) has, after 4 very long, very gruelling, laborious, intense and difficult years - achieved his 1st Class Honours Degree in Law.
he got the results through, online, form the Law Examining Board, about ten minutes ago.
It's ok when a grown man cries.
He's more than earnt that right.
It's been a most trying time for us both, but now, at least the really hard bit's over.
Now, it just gets difficult....:)
That is absolutely wonderful! I can imagine both of you share great elation over such an accomplishment, and it is well deserved! Does that make him an official, practicing lawyer in the U.K. (or whatever you crazy brits call it
With warmth,
Matt
I'm glad you were able to catch yourself before your feelings got out of hand. It shows you're making progress on your journey so congratulations on that!
Congratulations to you and your partner! It must be great for both you and him to know his hard work and dedication payed off and he finally achieved his goal. I would totally shed happy tears if I was in that situation too.
Matt! The UK? Ugh! It's called The Superier United Countrys of the British Continent and the Good Part of Ireland
Nickidoodle Jellybean
Nothing too special has been going on. I just secured the final word for a vacation to Florida to visit my father Labor Day weekend! I'm catsitting for the neatest cat in the world and still giving my own plenty of loving. Work is up in the air; our contract could be terminated soon if another company outbids us, however I'm ready for whatever happens. I truly believe that if I'm meant to stay here, we'll get renewed, and if we don't get renewed, then there's a whole new area of life for me to explore. Oh, and the sun has been shining. Things are good here lately :-)
Wow, it sounds like you've been doing very well and that's good to hear. I have my share of pain and stress in my life lately as well, but I'd like to think I'm dealing with it a bit better than before too.
Best of luck with your job and everything else!
King regards,
Nickidoodle Jellybean
My day has started poorly. I ran over a cat on my way to work this morning and I know that things are impermanent, and I know that I couldn't avoid it because he jumped out in front of me, but I still can't get rid of this overwhelming guilt and remorse and sadness. I guess I don't need to get rid of it. It shows my compassion, and if I sit with the pain, it will pass. I'm sitting here trying to resist it because I'm at work and don't want to be crying or appear weak, but I really need to just let it all move through me. I just love cats so much! I've ran over squirrels, raccoons, possums on accident, and it never hurt this much. I know that it's just the emphasis I'm placing on the cat, that it's not really any more valuable than a squirrel, but this hurts! The worst part is that it looked just like a cat that I grew up with that passed away this Spring, and I hadn't really cried about him dying, so it's just all pouring out this morning. I'm working alone so I have to be strong and appear to have everything together, with work and with myself. I feel very sad, overwhelmed, and frustrated with myself for a) not being stronger and then b) being frustrated with myself for not being stronger; I am allowed to be weak, and I am definitely allowed to feel guilt over killing a perfect little kitty, accident or not. I'll just keep sitting with the feelings and hope that between customer interactions, I'll have some time to close my eyes and focus on breath.
Don't feel bad treeluvr *hug*. It wasn't your fault.
The barn is looking less likely with the prices my mum's bf Clive said I'm afraid. However, I'll do all I can with the size of garden we get. Here's a list of the order of things we'd have if the land was big enough. My house has not yet had any viewings, although a man said he'll call later next week
1. Build hutch/run for rabbits with wire separating them.
2. Purchase chickens and chicken hut.
3. Dig a vegetable patch.
4. Build an avery for budgie and put some quails in.
5. Add a pond for some ducks, (get some ducks anyway if a pond is already there).
6. Get a willow tree if one is not already there.
7. If there is over an acre get some sheep and goats, for every acre get a farm cat for rats and mice, and have a wild patch for wild life.
Also Clive might get a dog to accompany him hunting. Of course, the bigger garden we have, the further down the list we can get. I agree, it's quite exciting.
Kind regards,
Nickidoodle Jellybean
I've had a good week, I'm in charge at work since my boss (the only other worker here) is out on vacation. It's been slow though, which is great because I've been reading through The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching and can definitely see why everyone talks about how well Thich Nhat Hahn writes. I want to try a longer meditation than normal this weekend, and it should be a good one because I've got a nice long solo weekend planned. I've got to spend some time at home with my cat; I've been out a lot and she gets these stress spots that she scratches and turn into giant open sores. Gross, and so sad! Poor thing! She needs her mama at home.
At the minute my grandparents are watching Emerdale* repeats and I'm going to watch Mongrels** afterwards on BBC iplayer***.
*Emerdale is an English drama.
**Mongrels is a London comedy.
***That's what you watch BBC shows on the internet at. BBC is a TV channel.
(sorry, I don't know if you have any of those in Virginia
Nickidoodle
Tom, I hope that your day hasn't truly "end"ed yet, and that you can find some respite before bed. If not, let it stay here today, and begin anew tomorrow if you can!
I like Little Britain, Beautiful People, and Skins. And of course the Vicar of Dibley
You have the BBC in usa?? I have fox news here in thailand lol. glenn beck!!
OH NO how horrible for you!!! Smash the TV!!!!!! Fox news is the worst. Don't believe their lies!
I read your thread about the death threats mugzy, although I could not find any words at the time. I am sure it will fizzle down as the anger subsides, but I do not know the entire picture
I like them too. Ever seen Little Britain USA? Skins is alright and the Vicar of Dibley is hilarious. Mongrels is just classic though. Who could come up with a bitchy dog, a cynical pigeon, a crazy cat, a thuggish fox and his metrosexual middle-class brother?
Jellybean
Three months WOW!
Nickidoodle
Simpsons Fox News is better
I'm just finding out my pin number for my cash card, me has the monii :crazy:
have a great day
papaya
xxxxxxxxxxx
loving the siggy