Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
I may be ancient, but I like the t.v. show "Glee", and there appears to be an interesting sub-plot this year. One of the new members of the cast has a very obese mother. In the first episode, the mother was mocked by some of the kids, and then they found out who she was a mother of. It will be interesting to see how this plot line develops.
@MaryAnne, definitely, everyone can benefit from loving themselves as they are, and to stop wishing to be something they are not, and should not even want to be. There isn't much point in trying to have compassion and love for others, if you cannot do it for yourself. We are all brothers and sisters, no matter what our reflection shows, and we are all deserving of self-love and the love of others.
On an interesting note I read an article the other day about a lady who did a "mirror fast" and didn't see her reflection for 4 months. I found it an interesting topic, and I wondered what it would be like to never know what you look like. It made me wonder the perspective of life-long blind people who don't know what they look like, or what others look like to be able to compare themselves to others and vice versa.
That would be a fascinating experiment....
Honestly, want to know the last time I looked into a full length mirror? I can tell you almost to the day; some time during the last week of October, 2008. LOL Truth! I was trying on a new outfit for my daughter's wedding taking place in about 10 days.
I always view myself in a mirror only from about the chest up, or from the knees down (checking on length or hems). It may be a really weird thing to do, but I've been doing it for at least the last 15-20 years, with very few exceptions, like my daughter's wedding.
It is so ... interesting... to base my mind's idea on what I look like by what I FEEL like instead of how "fat" I look in this or that. (yes, I'm a fat woman). I already know I look terrific in certain colors and certain styles. I know clothes fit me well when they FEEL like they fit well... The only thing looking at my real image in a full length mirror does is remind me that I'm not 'thin'. Don't need that. Ok, I'm a little crazy, I know. But I'm a happy crazy don'chaknow!
I think that mental factors (attitudes, reactions, self-compassion, etc.) are huge in weight loss and gain. Of course everybody is physically different. We all have our own challenges in life: addiction, image issues, fear, anger, apathy, sloth, etc.
From a buddhist perspective, I think the key is to always be working and striving towards a goal in relation to our individual challenges, but being compassionate and understanding through out that process. There will be ups and downs and the downs may be linger longer than we hope. I believe our challenges are there to help us gain understanding and insight into the things on which we need to work and not necessarily what we think we need and/or want. It requires us to truly understand the root of the problem before we embark on a solution.
I think that if you're mentally and physically healthy but still heavy, it's probably genetic. Think Winston Churchill. Bigger guy, but totally healthy in every respect.
@RebeccaS, I don't think you're right on that. During the war years he had 2 mild heart attacks and a bout with pneumonia. Later in life he had a series of strokes.
But Churchill might have had those mild heart attacks due to stress (it was the war years after all). As for strokes when he got even older.... also could have happened whether he was his ideal weight, or overweight -- no way to know for sure. BTW, Churchill was already in his late 60's during the war years... and lived to be 91.
But this reminds me... way back when in the earlier posts of this thread I rambled on about the weight gain for me during the same long married years my husband had nearly no weight gain; remember that?
I didn't mention that although my husband didn't gain more than 10 lbs during the 36+ yrs we were married- he also recently (2+yrs ago) had sky high cholesterol, wacky triglycerides, and several mild heart attacks over the course of several weeks. When I finally got him to go to the ER, they discovered three arteries blocked (35%, 80% and 90%) and underwent triple bypass surgery. His next heart attack could have been his last.... Also, as a result of being a two-pack a day man until that point, his bones are affected and his sternum never fused together again after the operation, and is being held together by wires.
So now, who's really "healthier"? Short, fat, little ol' me? Or the tall, lean, still-smoking 1/2 pack a day Mr?
I will still maintain -- as an overweight person -- that being overweight is, in the long run, inherently unhealthy. Sure there are exceptions both ways. But being heavy is not doing your body any favors...particularly in the long run. I didn't notice it much until the last 2 years, and I feel it has caught up with me, now.
I was talking to a buddy about a week ago that I hadn't seen in a couple of years. He mentioned that he had lost 250lbs. I looked at him quizically as he's always been skinny since the time I had met him. I said "You mean to tell me you gained 250 and lost it since we've seen eachother?" He smiled and said "Yeah, I got rid of my old lady!" I'm so gullible.
I think it's hard to ignore the statistics of the risk of numerable diseases that come with being "obese." Of course that doesn't mean everyone of a certain weight is automatically at-risk, just overall. I most certainly know skinny people who are horribly unhealthy and overweight people who are far healthier than their skinny counterparts. Health can't always be measured by a scale. It's just a possible indicator.
My grandma is 87. She smoked more than a pack a day for 65 years. Last spring she went to the hospital with heart problems, and we all prepared to hear she had lung cancer. Nope, no cancer at all, in fact. No one knows why someone can not even smoke and get lung cancer but people can smoke forever and still not get cancer. Our body chemistries just are very, very different and react very differently to other things. It's kind of up to the individual to learn their body and their quirks, and to be aware and honest with themselves about something being a problem.
For me, my weight gain was a problem because it was not the norm compared to the rest of my life. To remain at 200 pounds 3 months after giving birth when I was 200 pounds when I was 9 months pregnant, just was not normal after spending most of my adult life at 170 pounds. But it also took a very long time to figure out why doing all the "right" things didn't result in weight loss. Because it wasn't a normal state for me, I was concerned about the possible health effects (especially because my 2 older sons already lost their father) and both an MD and a naturopath agreed with me that something was up. It took a combination of the 2 to finally narrow down the likely problem. Not saying everyone has a magic answer of course, just sharing.
One of my best friends was overweight but healthy, and she lived a health life style. But at 27 she died in her sleep from a massive heart blockage/heart attack. You just never know what's going to happen.
Comments
Honestly, want to know the last time I looked into a full length mirror?
I can tell you almost to the day; some time during the last week of October, 2008. LOL Truth!
I was trying on a new outfit for my daughter's wedding taking place in about 10 days.
I always view myself in a mirror only from about the chest up, or from the knees down (checking on length or hems). It may be a really weird thing to do, but I've been doing it for at least the last 15-20 years, with very few exceptions, like my daughter's wedding.
It is so ... interesting... to base my mind's idea on what I look like by what I FEEL like instead of how "fat" I look in this or that. (yes, I'm a fat woman).
I already know I look terrific in certain colors and certain styles. I know clothes fit me well when they FEEL like they fit well...
The only thing looking at my real image in a full length mirror does is remind me that I'm not 'thin'. Don't need that.
Ok, I'm a little crazy, I know. But I'm a happy crazy don'chaknow!
From a buddhist perspective, I think the key is to always be working and striving towards a goal in relation to our individual challenges, but being compassionate and understanding through out that process. There will be ups and downs and the downs may be linger longer than we hope. I believe our challenges are there to help us gain understanding and insight into the things on which we need to work and not necessarily what we think we need and/or want. It requires us to truly understand the root of the problem before we embark on a solution.
BTW, Churchill was already in his late 60's during the war years... and lived to be 91.
But this reminds me... way back when in the earlier posts of this thread I rambled on about the weight gain for me during the same long married years my husband had nearly no weight gain; remember that?
I didn't mention that although my husband didn't gain more than 10 lbs during the 36+ yrs we were married- he also recently (2+yrs ago) had sky high cholesterol, wacky triglycerides, and several mild heart attacks over the course of several weeks.
When I finally got him to go to the ER, they discovered three arteries blocked (35%, 80% and 90%) and underwent triple bypass surgery. His next heart attack could have been his last....
Also, as a result of being a two-pack a day man until that point, his bones are affected and his sternum never fused together again after the operation, and is being held together by wires.
So now, who's really "healthier"?
Short, fat, little ol' me? Or the tall, lean, still-smoking 1/2 pack a day Mr?
Once again- You just can't tell by looking.
I'm so gullible.
My grandma is 87. She smoked more than a pack a day for 65 years. Last spring she went to the hospital with heart problems, and we all prepared to hear she had lung cancer. Nope, no cancer at all, in fact. No one knows why someone can not even smoke and get lung cancer but people can smoke forever and still not get cancer. Our body chemistries just are very, very different and react very differently to other things. It's kind of up to the individual to learn their body and their quirks, and to be aware and honest with themselves about something being a problem.
For me, my weight gain was a problem because it was not the norm compared to the rest of my life. To remain at 200 pounds 3 months after giving birth when I was 200 pounds when I was 9 months pregnant, just was not normal after spending most of my adult life at 170 pounds. But it also took a very long time to figure out why doing all the "right" things didn't result in weight loss. Because it wasn't a normal state for me, I was concerned about the possible health effects (especially because my 2 older sons already lost their father) and both an MD and a naturopath agreed with me that something was up. It took a combination of the 2 to finally narrow down the likely problem. Not saying everyone has a magic answer of course, just sharing.
One of my best friends was overweight but healthy, and she lived a health life style. But at 27 she died in her sleep from a massive heart blockage/heart attack. You just never know what's going to happen.