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Are you a sociopath?
betaboy
Veteran
Going by the broad definition we have today, isn't everyone more or less a sociopath? We use our charm to manipulate others, do what we can to make money/get promoted, keep up appearances to gain some respect in society, etc. Push this to an extreme ... and you're a sociopath.
Wouldn't this include most who are trying to be part of mainstream society?
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Anything pushed to extremes is dangerous IMO.
Do some reading in psychology, you'll see the difference. Being stuck in Samara the same as everyone else is not the same. Push any klesha to an extreme and you'll find mental illness. But to compare everyone to those who suffer with antisocial personality disorder does a disservice to those who truly suffer with it. No care for others, unable to hold jobs, no sense of right or wrong or a conscience, extremely hostile and impulsive, extreme egocentric behavior to the point of harming others and so on. Not the same.
Not by the definition of sociopath.
Only sociopaths are sociopaths.
This should be obvious.
But I guess it is as you acknowledge the error when you state 'push this to an extreme'.
@betaboy I too struggle with anger issues, people issues, anxieties, thoughts that I don't like people at all, thoughts that I even hate people (used to be a majority of the days sadly... nowadays much less so), thoughts that I don't ever want to talk to another person again...
Its ok if you are a sociopath you know. Sociopaths need love as well, from yourself as well as from others.
I'm not sure if I call myself one (haven't been mentally diagnosed), but can somewhat relate at least. I just try my best to cope and realise that my feelings will pass and they usually do! I see family, people I love, and I realize there are people out there I care about and that's something.
EDIT: Also as much as I hate therapy, I'm looking into it myself and perhaps that could be something to look into for yourself? There's even hotlines out there you can use to just call and vent and they'll never ask your name and you can hang up whenever you feel like. Just be nice to those people (or try to) because they're volunteers and here to help
You can't go by a "broad definition." Antisocial personality disorder (like all personality disorders, and most illnesses) have fairly specific prerequisite signs and symptoms before one can be labelled as such.
Say I want to lose weight and look better - does this mean I have an eating disorder or body dysmorphia? No. It just means I'm feeling vain.
You can't just look at a couple of characteristics and then take it all the way to the extreme.
Truth be told, sociopaths can be quite successful in modern society. They can be charming and very persuasive.
I think they all work in public relations and sales. Veneer smiling.
Heart smiling is so different . . .
Sociopaths have no real balls
They got balls. They don't have a conscience.
Hotty/hotei she removed dem . . . Dharma Sociopath anyone?
Well, if it was "normal" we wouldn't have thought up a word to describe the behavior of a "sociopath."
I am mild-mannered Aspiring_Buddhist in the Sangha, but unbeknownst to everyone (till now) I am a college student pursuing a degree in Psychology.
While it is possible for religious people to have Sociopathic tendencies, (like certain Priests, Cardinals, Bishops, regarding certain long-term, multiple child-abuse scandals, in a certain Roman Catholic Church) the whole "moral code" thing lessens the likelihood.
(Pedophilia and Sociopathy are different, but the methods the pedophiles used to control their victims in the Church would count as "sociopathic behavior" i.e. "Say one word about this and you'll go to Hell.")
Sociopaths manipulate, dominate, violate, and exploit other people with literally no shame - if it furthers their desires they will use anyone by using any reason they can in order to achieve any of their goals.
These are the folks who operate on a "My desired ends justify any means" policy.
So, to answer your question @betaboy most people aren't like that...well, hopefully.
No, not everyone behaves like that.
Are you sure? If most people weren't like that, why would society's foundations be greed, cruelty, and exploitation (and the like)? If it's only a small minority, that shouldn't be the case, right?
that's because society's foundations are not greed, cruelty and exploitation.
I'd be more concerned about the company you mix with.
if this is your perception of society, I'm seriously worried about you...
Small minds get the big news.
Is this all you see?
In all the definitions in this thread, I'm considered sociopathic. Heck my dog is considered sociopathic.
I think it would be best for OP to get a diagnosis from a medical practitioner and not from strangers on the internet
I have never used the word 'sociopath' in a sentence nor have I ever called anyone that. But if I had to use such a word, probably shows some kind of intention on my part.
Really? You can hurt people badly and not care or feel bad about it?
Well, not quite. I should say "used to" because since then I've matured a lot in my eyes.
That being said most of my reaction to hurting people is "I'm sorry" not necessarily "I feel bad". But that seems to be slowly change the more I do say "I'm sorry" and pretend to care.
You're right. Society's foundation is compassion. That's why in human history, there has never been war. People don't kill each other in the name of country, god, whatnot. No one is poor, no sweatshop worker is exploited. No injustice, no inequality.
This is true of everyone, isn't it? No one actually feels bad about hurting anyone. If at all they do, it's because of the backlash they expect - so 'feeling bad' may have more to do with fear and less to do with remorse.
There was a woman walking on the beach and a man saw her and looking at her he saw that she was picking up starfish and throwing them in the water. The man said to her "why are you doing that?" "you know you can't save them all". The woman said "I know... But I saved that one"
So just live your tiny life and be a good person. The world is samsara. It is the realm of birth and death. See through the illusion. And then become a magician.
There are people, maybe even a lot of people, who might carry a couple of the criteria for sociopaths. But to be diagnosed, you have to carry several of them to a degree that is not considered normal. One does not simply get to choose a word with a set definition and established criteria and use it wantonly however they want to.
A lot of people are just completely ignorant and just don't know better, getting drug around by their egos. So what's your excuse?
"Ah...sarcasm. 'For what profit is it to a man, if he gains the world and loses his own soul?' Matthew 16:26 I believe..."
-Dracula, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. (Also my favorite Biblical verse)
I'm curious as to why you want to feel as if the concept of society, or perhaps people in general are bad or evil.
Yes there has been much suffering in the world that can be traced to man - but great good too. Society isn't perfect because there isn't a perfect society.
Anyone can look at a person's faults, or even a society's and find a reason to disparage them.
There is already much suffering in the world - if you've read the Four Noble Truths, why do you want to find more suffering to dwell on?
Facts or History shouldn't be forgotten, but why can't we look forward to a better tomorrow?
But that doesn't make sense, at least how you say it. Learning how to get along or adapt, from fear or whatever, and actually feeling bad ( shame, remorse, empathy, etc. ) are not the same.
If I hurt someone badly it could be very difficult to bear, possibly unbearable. That's how I know that I'm not a sociopath. It's just that simple.
I was answering federica - she said society's foundation is not greed/cruelty. So I asked her how that can be, considering human history. Okay?
All I am saying is, people conflate the two. Why is this so hard to accept?
Considering human history, why would you say that the foundation of society is greedy and cruel?
What's your conclusion based on human history, then?
Uh, conflate the two whats?
I assume he means greed and cruelty.
I think there is more than one society. And no, I don't think they were all founded on greed and cruelty. Those things are both products of poor states of mind-minds clouded intensely by ignorance and aggression and misdirected passion. All things we can solve on an individual basis and move society in a better direction.
He's just practising being unapproachable, because apparently, being approachable ALSO sucks.
He's not a happy bunny at the moment....
Much more of this negativity, and I fear we'll be seeing less of him.
Nobody buys it, and nobody really agrees with it....
Is that a threat?
Karma for sociopaths and naughty boys maybe? Hope you manage to overcome your pathology . . . love and xxx
Why, yes of course it is.
You've been here long enough to know how things work. And you've tried for and got all sorts of negative reactions.
I enjoy your company here and will be sorry if you have to go.
Me too. He is a nice boy deep down . . . we have to be kind to the Sith, sociopaths, sangha and Super Men . . . well that is my plan . . .
What is that supposed to mean?
I don't like forums that don't follow my moral values. If you are inferring that he will be "banned" then I'd like to know so I can leave and go across the street to online buddhist temple #1338
There are many parts of human history that can be considered good or evil. Ultimately it comes down to your perception of human history> @betaboy said:
When human history has reached its end, I will have a conclusion.
Until that time however, I choose to believe that despite some of the horrible events of history, humanity has always worked for a better tomorrow - a better world where eventually our virtues will outnumber our flaws.
A world with more virtues than flaws is a positive thing. Why do you insist on believing in the negative over the positive?
I think you should go where ever you are most comfortable. There is no reason why you should have to be offended by your choice of entertainment.
We need perhaps to look at our terms.
Generally speaking the Mental Health world has replaced 'sociopath ' and 'psychopath' with the term
Personality Disorder.
Without wanting to split hairs I would say that those with a Personality Disorder feel no guilt.
They may feel no shame either, but the operant bit is the lack of guilt.
Then again we would need to know whether the suspected Personality Disordered person is from a 'shame culture ' or a ' guilt culture ' in order to ascertain which norms they are transgressing.
For example it may be that a European might feel guilt about something, but no shame.
That's insightful. I might heed your advice, and follow the path of a lost soul.
Good travelling!
Similar to "Dont like our country? Leave. But we won't change for the better. No way."
It is totally up to any of us to respond to whom ever is here...or not.
If you tire of someone seeking a specific response or think you are being played, just don't participate in their threads.
Some folks seek comfort here in having their views validated, while others are more willing to challenge that status quo. What is the line between Buddhist Dharma and heresy?
Which folks do you think are more capable of facing their own identity construction..
Actually - No, it isn't.
I don't resort to making public, on-thread threats. If I have something to say I generally approach the member via PM.
My point is that after a while, long-time members tire of seeing the same old same-old.... records stuck in grooves end up making noises which merely irritate....
The person 'stuck in the groove' tends to lose interest, or others lose interest in them.
If you don't find anyplace, online or otherwise, is a good fit to your journey on your path, by all means you shouldn't stay (and by you, I am speaking generally, not directed to a certain person).
That said, remember that some users have been here for a very long time. Some of them many years, including the moderators/admins. They will recognize patterns in users that others will not, including even the users themselves! Their job is to keep the forum an overall respectable place that is of value to the majority of the users. It is not an attempt to force their version of morality, but simply to keep a semblance of order in the forum. But yes, on occasion, users are banned (and sometimes they work it out and come back). But, in my experience here, it is not done willy-nilly simply because admins/moderators don't personally like the person or their point of view.
Thanks guys, sorry for temporarily derailing the thread if you'd like to discuss the issue of censorship further I made a post in the "General Banter" subforum.
*deleted
If the shoe fits........
Oh what a tangled web we weave
When first we practice to deceive
@betaboy I was never officially diagnosed, but my personal diagnosis was "Satanism". Or, is that called a religion?
Anyway, during my time as a Satanist, I learned quite a lot about myself, and about humans in general. I learned we are all liars, we are all selfish, and we all want the best for ourselves & our family.
I also learned, being a liar & selfish leads to a lot of suffering. Everybody has to be a little "selfish" to stay alive each and every day. But taken to extremes, selfishness & avoiding others just lead to my own dissatisfaction. Had I been more "mentally sound" I'm sure my experience with the religion would've been very different.
I have a problem with not saying any lies. I noticed yesterday almost every time I talk I want to say something that's "not true". So I appoligize deeply if my deciet created any further dukkha