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I feel like dying. What can Buddhism do for me?

I'm already being treated by a doctor for my emotional issues. But I have days where I just don't want to live anymore and meditation is the last thing I want to do. I'm too tired to go into detail. What could I possibly be attached to that I feel like laying on this couch until I starve to death? This happens a lot. I'll never reach my goals like this.

Comments

  • KundoKundo Sydney, Australia Veteran

    @dooksta123 said:
    What could I possibly be attached to that I feel like laying on this couch until I starve to death?

    Self pity. Get off that couch and get your arse onto a meditation mat.

    From what you've said above, you're healthy. You see a dr for emotional issues, and that's fine. A lot of people have emotional issues. What Buddhism can do for a start is to help you stop being so self centred and focusing on the negative. You're a LOT better off than many people and you need to put things into perspective and the 4 Noble Truths and Eightfold Noble Path can help. Try reading, REALLY reading about them and think it through to yourself. That can be the start of your meditation practise along with focusing on your breathing. After that you can start on the Sutras. Plenty of people here can recommend suitable ones for you.

    If you find me harsh, I'm sorry you do. But until you're diagnosed with an illness that WILL kill you, I think you're being very self indulgent and need to get your sh*t together and DO something. You're young and time is on your side - grab it with both hands and run.

    _ /\ _

  • silversilver In the beginning there was nothing, and then it exploded. USA, Left coast. Veteran

    Did you share with your doctor these feelings?

    We'd be unwise to give you advice at this point...

    Maybe you could re-phrase your question(s).

    lobster
  • howhow Veteran Veteran

    @dooksta123
    What could I possibly be attached to that I feel like laying on this couch until I starve to death?

    ** You** could tell us what you think you might be grasping onto, rejecting or ignoring that is causing your suffering but
    you might also have organic brain imbalances unrelated to your attachments that are affecting you as well.
    What type of meditation are you doing when you feel like it?

  • dooksta123dooksta123 Explorer
    edited January 2016

    A

    lobster
  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran

    Hey there @dooksta123 - sorry to hear about your suffering.

    I can't vouch for this video (not having suffered from any form of depression for many years) but it may be helpful.

    I would strongly suggest therapy also!

    ShoshinNamadamerx
  • These are the things that helped me through depression, OCD, anxiety and, of course, suicidal thoughts a couple years ago.

    First of all, no matter how miserable one is, there is always a tiny moment of joy and pleasure. Be it petting a puppy, having a good meal, sleeping, flirting with attractive people, gaming, no matter what it is, there is this thing. And this is where you should focus your attention for now. Do more regularly what makes you ACTUALLY feel good, not what was supposed to feel good. If you dont feel like doing it but you know in your heart you enjoy it and that is just the negativity stoping you, just push yourself.

    Second, suicide comes from a thought. This thought flushes biochemicals to your body and these give you physical sensations - ie, heavy feeling on your chest, stomach butterflies, between others. Focus on that sensation. Give it a massage, apply some warm water, do whatever you can to physically relax it. The more you do it, the less the thoughts will mean something bad. Once they arrive, your brain will correlate them to the massaging/relaxation. Practice this conditioning and you will see miracles.

    Finally, realize you are NOT your thoughts. Here. Imagine you are a banana. Ok, are you a banana now? Nope. The only way we believe these negative thoughts are related to our identity is because we ruminate them (for numerous reasons, like social conditioning, mental illness, etc) unconsciously and consciously and it fucks up the mind that bad. But the same way you are contemplating and ruminating suicide, you could obsess over being a banana and then believe you are one. Or you could obsess over being Buddha and then you are one. That is how our minds work.

    I hope this helps, good friend. May you be happy and well and find peace during this tough journey, I have been there too and it does end. Do not choose a permanent solution for a temporary problem.

    Peace

    lobsterTashiNamgyaldooksta123merx
  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    edited January 2016

    @dooksta123 said:
    A

    Well said. B)

    Can you expand a little before hunger kicks in? Are you on medication for depression, if not do you need to be?

    A is for apple by the way. Try starting there ...

  • JohnMacJohnMac Dr Scotland Veteran

    Stick with it, this too will pass no matter how bad it feels. Everything changes and moves on, it's impermanent. I've been there too, it will pass.

    lobster
  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    edited January 2016

    @dooksta123 said:
    I'll never reach my goals like this.

    We are routing for you. <3
    If you have clinical depression, we are not in a position to advise you. You need a doctor.

    What is the first achievable goal? Strangely dehydration can lead to lack of energy. The whole of the British Empire and the start of American independence started with a nice cup of tea ...

    Are we being too simplistic? Would you just prefer to waste away, like a forgotten sofa? o:)

    OM MANI PEME HUM - I have set the dharma dogs on you ... that should get you beyond 'A' um ... um ...

    Davidmerx
  • EarthninjaEarthninja Wanderer West Australia Veteran

    @dooksta123 said:
    I'm already being treated by a doctor for my emotional issues. But I have days where I just don't want to live anymore and meditation is the last thing I want to do. I'm too tired to go into detail. What could I possibly be attached to that I feel like laying on this couch until I starve to death? This happens a lot. I'll never reach my goals like this.

    Hey I've been here for a time before my friend, I'm sorry to hear you feel like this. Just know like everything, it will change. And quiet possibly for the better.
    By contrast when you've dug yourself out of this hole, you might be really happy looking back on what you've gone through.

    Just know your a damn lot better and amazing than your mind tells you. You are capable of incredible things :)

    I can't really offer you advice because I don't know your situation but Buddhism is great and can only help you :)

    All I can offer is kind thoughts and a cyber hug!

    merx
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited January 2016

    There is a difference between practicing to fix a problem and practicing Buddhism out of genuine curiosity of where it might lead.

    Regarding your practical problem I wonder if medicine and a therapist might help?

  • EarthninjaEarthninja Wanderer West Australia Veteran

    Most people practice religion to help themselves rather than just curiosity.

    merxdooksta123
  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran

    Most people practice religion to help themselves rather than just curiosity.

    @earthninja -- That's the way practice begins, I agree. But it's strange how that revises itself over time.

    lobsterdooksta123
  • JohnMacJohnMac Dr Scotland Veteran

    "If you ask why we meditate, I would say it's so we can become more flexible and tolerant to the present moment."
    ~ Pema Chodron

    No matter what the condition of the present moment may be
    ~JohnMac.....

    TashiNamgyal
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited January 2016

    Here is a link to dropping keys which is a mental health facebook page.

    https://www.facebook.com/DroppingKeysForChange/?fref=ts

    Mental health is just as important as physical.

    ShoshinDavidmerx
  • NamadaNamada Veteran
    edited January 2016

    Here are one inspiration video for you @dooksta123
    Its about Christopher Aiff last days.

    "Christopher Aiff was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma in his leg. The doctors told him he was cured, but then found 50 tumors in his lungs on his first check up. Chris is an extraordinary 21 year old that shares wisdom we could all use".

    Shoshinmisecmisc1Davidmerx
  • I feel like dying. What can Buddhism do for me?

    You lose something when you're not aware. Well, how does one die to oneself? We're talking about death now, we're not talking about suicide. We're not told to kill the self, but to die. Causing pain to the self, causing suffering to the self would be self-defeating. It would be counterproductive. You're never so full of yourself as when you're in pain. You're never so centered on yourself as when you're depressed. You're never so ready to forget yourself as when you are happy. Happiness releases you from self. It is suffering and pain and misery and depression that tie you to the self. Look how conscious you are of your tooth when you have a toothache. When you don't have a toothache, you're not even aware you have a tooth, or that you have a head, for that matter, when you don't have a headache.

    To lose the self is to suddenly realize that you are something other than what you thought you were. You thought you were at the center; now you experience yourself as satellite. You thought you were the dancer; you now experience yourself as the dance.

    http://demellospirituality.com/awareness/32.html

    dooksta123merx
  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran

    What an amazing young man!

    Very moving @Namada - thank you.

    Namadamerx
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    @Bunks said:
    What an amazing young man!

    Very moving @Namada - thank you.

    Here is his website.
    It's really true. Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, there are those who can inspire us to look up.

  • StingRayStingRay Glasgow Explorer

    @misecmisc1 you have inspired me to be a kinder more mindful person thru your comments!

  • misecmisc1misecmisc1 I am a Hindu India Veteran

    @StingRay said:
    @misecmisc1 you have inspired me to be a kinder more mindful person thru your comments!

    @StingRay: thanks for your kind words, but whatever i have written above, that i have heard from somebody else, or read somewhere, so nothing of my own there, but those things theoretically made sense to me, so thought of typing it.

    metta to you and all sentient beings.

    StingRaymerx
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator
    edited January 2016

    The human condition tries to keep us static. But for us to be balanced, we have to do the things that go against our nature. If you don't want to move for long periods, movement is exactly what you need. Same with meditation. It clears your mind to help investigate issues. But our minds and our bodies strive for efficiency and want to only maintain. If you want health and balance, you have to realize when you don't have it, and seek how how to bring it.

    General health care is a huge step and can make a bigger difference than anything. Shower and get dressed every day. Eat good food. Drink enough fluids. Sleep a healthy amount of time. Move your body. Exercise your mind. Rest as well. Learn about stress relief. When you notice you are in a rut and stuck, do the opposite to get out. You don't get out of a ditch by sitting in it. If you cannot, then you seek the help of medication and other support people to extend a rope and a hand to get you moving until you can do it yourself. It is ok to need that. But use them wisely.

    Davidmerx
  • Kale4DayzKale4Dayz California Explorer

    Dear dooksta123,

    Speaking from my own experience, depression can stem from a number of things that include anger, lack of self-compassion, and lack of compassion for the present moment. Sometimes depression can come from having too many expectations imposed upon you either by yourself or other people. We feel pressured to live up to a certain image, to accomplish all these things.. and when we don't, we feel hopeless and useless and might as well not exist.

    Why put so much pressure on yourself to reach your goals? Your happiness is not somewhere off in the future when you have finished everything on your to-do list. Do as much as you can and tell yourself that is good enough. Take it one day at a time and don't forget to enjoy the process. Even if you can only exert effort for 5 minutes, that is good enough. Reward yourself afterwards.

    I also think it is perfectly acceptable to feel depressed, as long as you don't end up harming yourself. In Buddhism, we are encouraged to refrain from harming sentient beings and that includes ourselves. If you feel like laying on the couch for a while, great. Go for it. But if it gets to the point where you aren't eating enough, you aren't exercising, you aren't showing up at your job or whatever, then that is where you ought to draw the line. Neglecting yourself, wasting away, however you want to call it is a form of violence you are committing onto yourself. Which is a very anti-Buddhist thing to do. :smiley:

    One other thing I'd like to mention that has helped me and perhaps may help you: sometimes I watch interviews on YouTube of people who have survived war and all sorts of trauma and who still manage to have a positive outlook on life. It reminds me that happiness and peace are always available to you even in the most dire circumstances.

  • Thanks for all the help, guys. I'm bipolar so I look at my post like 'Wow, was that me? I really felt this way?', but I found a lot of your words extremely helpful and I will keep it in mind for my next low. Be at peace, yall. Thank you!

    lobstermerx
  • @dooksta123 look after yourself. Confound your doctor through meditation. You may find meditation helps BUT one should continue with medical supervision and medication. Think of it as offering a potential alternative to the very useful existing treatments. <3

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