"There’s a recent piece of psychological research, which got me excited ...
essem
Explorer
Psychologists have discovered that the biggest challenges humans
face are dealing with death, love, and loss.
None of these three things can be dealt with by the rational mind.
They can only be dealt with by the irrational mind.
That’s why people who are slightly wacky, or religious, cope with
these big things much better than scientists do.
For years we’ve been saying, "Be more rational, be more practical,
be more scientific."
And now we’re saying, "No, hang on a minute. Let’s be a bit sillier.
Let’s think about faith and belief."
Seeing things that we’re not meant to see is actually what we’re
supposed to do..."
[columnist, comic, children's books author] Nury Vittachi
on journalism, death and the irrational mind
http://travel.cnn.com/hong-kong/play/nury-vittachi-will-now-take-your-questions-175376/
Comments
His latest book is called "May Moon fixes the World Economy". I like it! Sounds like it will appeal to enterprising eight-year-olds.
There's hope for me yet, then, being a total off-the-wall whack-job....
"Psychologists have discovered that the biggest challenges humans
face are dealing with death, love, and loss."
I think perhaps the one word in that statement that needs serious unpacking is "dealing." What do people mean when they talk about "dealing with" something? I believe it's possible that, if there's a difficulty inherent in our relationship to death, love, and loss, it may be relieved if we knew more about what we mean when talk about "dealing with" unavoidable occurrences such as death, love, and loss. Your thoughts, anyone?
Thanks @essem
What a great interview. We once had a twelve year old on this forum. Her questions and perspective was wonderful, she bypassed so many of the constraints the adult mind has. Quite rightly her mother found out she was interacting on an adult forum and we lost her.
The capacity to retain the 'child mind'/beginner mind is very useful. It makes us fearless. Too many of us in becoming adults, lose our inner child, capacity for wonder, fearless exploration etc.
Let's play Buddhas and Boddhisatvas!
iz plan!
Double thumbs up, Lobster, on your comment! ––Ray
To me, 'dealing with' is equitable with 'processing' or 'coping with'.
Yes, to me, too, Federica, it seems almost always that's what people mean: processing or coping. What has troubled me for years (as I was once – maybe still am! – a practitioner of the craft, call it what you will: dealing with, processing, or coping) is an implied struggle. These days I try (with no guarantee I'll be successful) to pause and ask myself, "Why must I struggle?" Because, if I struggle, aren't I only giving power to what I'd much rather simply manage or take in stride? Questions, questions, questions! Consciousness is a full time job, isn't it?
––Ray
There's a difference between 'dealing with' and 'accepting' (which would to me, be the response to 'why struggle?').
Accepting is simply allowing matters to pass and approaching the issue in a passive detached way.
Dealing with in my mind, is evaluating the issue, and making a decision - subconsciously or otherwise - of how to emotionally respond. That may or may not entail acceptance, but 'dealing with' seems to include some kind of emotional upheaval, whereas 'why must I struggle@ seems to me to drop the emotional aspect, also....
Any time there are two, there is trouble: Eg. (A) the intractable circumstance and the insistence on (B) "dealing with" it ... which usually means gaining some sort of control. Being in control brings us all back to square one -- two things: (A) the thing in control and (B) the one controlling it... and the dog-like conviction that if I just run a little bit faster or get a little bit smarter, I will ... this time ... at last! ... catch my tail.
And it's not as if "one thing" could solve anything either.
I always liked Christmas Humphreys' suggestion that "the opposite of life is not death. The opposite of death is birth. The opposite of life is form."
Also, Martin Luther King Jr.: "It's not what's wrong with the world that scares people. What really scares them is that everything is all right." (This observation gains traction in meditation, I believe: Fearing death, for example, is strong habit. But what happens when death becomes part and parcel of what life already is? Wouldn't the fear of death become a fear of life itself? And how can anyone enjoy their life if they're running around being afraid of it?
Just noodling....
Your last remark has me grinning from earlobe to earlobe, Genkaku. " ... how can anyone enjoy their life if they're running around being afraid of it?" It seems I've spent a good deal of my life running away from running away from being afraid of [life]. My mother and father were industrial-strength worriers. When I left home (at 20), I was determined to be a non-worrier – or as much of a non-worrier as I could possibly be. I fumbled about for years, but this practice has brought me closer to my goal.
As an aside: Please excuse my earlier comments for any left-footedness. I joined only yesterday, and this morning (morning mug of coffee in hand), I felt I should make a comment or two, if only to announce my participation. I fear those earlier comments were not very carefully thought through.
––Ray
Well, I got no flag, no report, no "Who the hell IS this guy, anyway - ?!" so, as far as I'm concerned, we're Ice-Kool, @Ray_Kemble .
I'll have to hope that "Ice-Kool" is a happy condition!
––Ray