Commenting on peoples vomit
yagr
Veteran
I know I've put this in General Banter when I could have chosen other places, but I just wasn't sure. If it needs to be moved, my apologies, federica.
I've referred back to a the thread on 'honesty being the best policy' quite a bit. Just going through some growing pains with Right Speech et al. Anywho, I recognize that real life examples work best for me and it occurred to me that the last interaction I had might be instructive (for me) if people tell me what they see... places perhaps I would have been better shutting up, superfluous parts, was it a situation best avoided, etc.
So, I was reading a news article that declared "Astronomers discover repeated radio signal'. Under the article were a number of comments and one of them, from a gal named Amy, went like so:
Christ almighty...FRBs are not "repeated radio signals." HUGE difference. Sure, all kinds of possible origins, and technically, extraterrestrial origin can't be ruled out yet...but this is NOT a repetitive radio signal like the clickbait headline would have us believe.
I wanted to respond because some, or all, of the awe and wonder of this might be taken from them because of her cavalier and catty tone. It's just an opinion, but she's using words the average person doesn't and apparently hasn't heard the saying, 'true strength doesn't need self promotion', so she's presenting as if anyone who doesn't know this is so far below her intelligence that it's not even worth talking to them. So, I responded trying to get a message across as kindly as I could. It went like this:
It's the second time ever that we're captured FRB's that were not Earth based. That's pretty cool to me. You and I both know that not only are the overwhelming majority of readers not going to know the difference, but the reporter probably didn't either. We still got the information. You're smart amy, but if you go around resenting the world for not being as smart as you, all that intelligence is going to buy you is misery. Feel free to remind me when I forget. 
I don't know if I'm asking such a simple question that it should be in general banter, or if it's something others struggle with. Any insight?
Comments
I just happen to watch this YouTube video this morning about the power of intellectual humility and think it is pretty relevant.
Also, I might add that I see this kind of comment on science defense groups. The ones that debunk bad science and pseudoscience like climate change deniers, flat earthers, etc. So your take has merit but I think mixed in there is a defensive attitude towards scientific education.
I think it is worth treating people with some respect and compassion, you don’t know what their lives have been like up to now, so when I see people getting impatient and swearing, being unkind in word choice and emphasis, I often like to set a good example.
It is an easy question to ask but very difficult to implement without:
However the fact that you are attempting to implement such a required service, means the tools will arrive. Service with a smile.
Iz master plan
I remember reading a sign in a car that stated -
"Buddhism is for the intelligentsia"
Which at first sounded extremely holier-than-thou and very high-brow (the rhyme is not intentional, but then, I AM buddhist...)
But I think there is more than a grain of truth in the proposed humour, as is so often the case...
However, as Buddhists, there isn't one of us here that looks down on others or feels superior, advanced or simply better than those around us, because, We're Buddhists, Doncha know.
In fact, our aim is almost directly opposite: To view every other human being as our Mother/father/sister/brother, and to know that we are neither better nor worse, but equal and deserving. Cultivating Wise Compassion is a primary aim.
I will admit and agree, that's not always the case, and I'm sure we've all come across a Buddhist or two whose bright intelligence shone, but was only eclipsed by their seemingly unconscious high-minded approach, which actually obscured their insight and know-how.
And you'll find this in every field, every quarter, every association, club, gathering or group.
There will always be someone 'clever than you' and they will always let you know it, whereupon you will instantly know that, clever, they may be. Savvy - they ain't.
It might be a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't in the anonymity and mass audience of the internet.
You can start with the assumption that you aren't smarter than others (generally) and then get frustrated when some others aren't making the connections and distinctions that you are or talk over others heads and fail to communicate anything. Or you can start with the assumption that you are smarter than others (generally) and talk down to some people because you don't assume that they know or understand what you do or just simplify everything down to the point that nothing new or worthwhile is communicated.
Face to face or with someone you know, you can adjust accordingly. I remember hearing somewhere on the difficulty that super geniuses 160+ have in communicating what they're thinking with the rest world, that it's hard to impossible for people 30 or more points apart in IQ to communicate ideas with each other effectively. The 98th percentile of IQ is 130, so that leaves around 2% of the world that they have any hope of connecting with intellectually.
Tell me about it
Anger and or frustration will often cloud reason...and trying to reason with some people in some situations may just add more fuel to the already burning fire of anger/frustration...
@yagr most of the time I find it's best to step over or around another person's vomit, than step directly into it...
Our own or other people's vomit is often sticky and smelly...it's smell can linger on in the mind, causing one to bring up more vomit...so to speak...
If skill is used for clearing up vomit either by stepping over or around it silently letting it decompose all by itself (this too shall pass ) or by letting the vomiter know how oneself personally deals with vomit that may start to rise in one's own throat... which I personally think you started to do with this first part of your reply/comment...
But this other part...
...may have added more fuel to Amy's already burning fire....
Bearing in mind that is how I see it, and this approach may not work as well or sit well with others....
As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.
I'd never heard that phrase before, and not to derail the thread but I think it highlights the moral value of disgust. It acts to protect us from harm. Of course it can also be overprotective too, acting when inappropriate. At any rate, my own disgust level is turned down pretty low, but I recognize it's value. Having low disgust also has value in that it allows for the discovery of new and beneficial things, but curiosity also killed the cat, I touch the electric fence and drink the sour smelling milk more often than I reasonably should, I think I'm on life 4 or 5 now.
On a more sweeten side note....
The only vomit I really take pleasure in commenting on and also like the taste of, is Bees Vomit ( some prefer not to call it bees vomit due to the separate stomach it is stored in, but it is regurgitated AKA vomited back up through the proboscis just the same
...I guess some might find the term vomit revolting) ...
However to be quite honest... people's vomit....don't do much for me ....
It’s just the art of being able to distinguish mental ‘projectile vomit’ from well-considered posts that is quite worthwhile. I’ve found that making the kind of replies that make other people think is difficult, more often we just end up being contrasting opinions which people skim over.