Best Of
Re: A chat with Mpisi
The introvert vs extrovert situation very much chimes with me. I’m quite an introverted person, but for a while I was a volunteer member of a mental health team in the Dutch town where I lived. The idea was to provide support for people who were just under the radar, not ill enough to need professional help but not doing so great on their own. I’d regularly meet a client in the local community centre, for coffee and cake and a talk.
This was very much concerned with loneliness and people who didn’t get out much. One was an avid player of the MMO game Second Life, one was an ex-truck driver who was now retired, one was a recovering mental health client trying to do mail delivery for the postal service. They were all definitely introverted people.
I wasn’t an active part of the team for very long, I’m not really good enough at small talk to be comfortable doing that work. But it showed me that even very introverted people will show up if you make an appointment for coffee and cake with them. However, lacking extroverted family members in the immediate surroundings who drag you along, it’s hard to find projects like the one I was engaged with.
You could say these things are a public health initiative, because loneliness is as much a predictor for an early death as obesity or smoking.
Jeroen
Re: A mindful study of love
Third, there were the talks I used to have every day with my dad. Sometimes they were about areas where I felt I could use his support, but often we also talked about his interests, like Graham Hancock and the Boston Celtics, a basketball team. That exchange of interests, of him allowing in his life the things that happened to me like my adventures in mental health, and of me picking up things that were interesting to him, is also an expression of love.
Jeroen
A mindful study of love
I wanted to say a few things about love…
First of all, there was the golden being of lovingness and grace that I encountered in a vision. I fell in love when I saw it, it was so beautiful, I was overwhelmed. It was like a primary experience, I felt my heart opening and there was this “aaaahh”, a surrender. It was like a moment of multiple perceptions, there was a small female face framed with golden hair, and at the same time there was a large being of flowing golden lines, and in between there was this experience of incredible lovingness, a divine grace. The words don’t do the experience justice, it was short, just a few seconds, and almost indescribably beautiful.
Second, there is the coffee I make for my mother every day around noon. I often find her asleep in her chair, and wake her up to drink coffee and have a biscuit. I know it pleases her, and it makes me happy to have made her happy. That too is love. It’s like when I told my father that my mother enjoys it so much when visitors bring her flowers. Whenever he came to visit us after that, my father would stop off at the supermarket and buy her a couple of bunches of flowers. He enjoyed making her happy. Giving is a powerful way of expressing love.
I found this article, it’s worth a read:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201311/10-research-based-truths-about-people-in-love
Jeroen
Re: A chat with Mpisi
Evolution "designed" humans to live in small bands of hunter/gatherers. We stepped out of that world when we started agriculture and animal husbandry. Ever since so many of our problems are problems created by our solutions to previous problems. Horses help us carry more and be more productive allowing us to better feed ourselves > horse manure piles up in cities at city block scales > automobiles solve that problem > now we have unwalkable cities and CO2 pollution.
I'm happy moving forward and keeping with the "solve the next problem" type of mentality. Off the top of my head (so it may be off) in the 1900s something like 1/3 of children died before 5, now its around 1%. A more productive, specialized world allows some of us to give art, writing, spirituality, science to the rest of the world rather than 95% of us focusing on food, shelter and security.
The Harvard study of adult development has been going on for over 80 years and they've found that the best predictor of well being and longevity is the quality of our relationships. For all the talk of tracking our biometrics or getting chemicals out of food this is a major factor that hasn't gotten enough attention. People are starting to talk more about it lately. It gets framed more as a loneliness epidemic.
This is 6 years old, and its only getting worse.
person
Re: What we are doing right?
I came across this quote…
Never make the negative the object of your study, because the negative is not there. You can go on and on and you will never arrive anywhere. Try to understand what light is, not darkness. Try to understand what life is, not death. Try to understand what love is, not hate.
I thought it was a good pointer. One should study the positive things in life, like the art of loving, like the art of appreciating nature and beauty, the art of enjoying small things.
Jeroen
Re: Has anyone else..?
Thanks for the links, Lobster. That material is certainly of general interest, and when there is time, I may go further than just look at them. For the time being, I shall continue as I am doing. What you posted had made me see my little discovery in better perspective. Thanks again.
By the way, the dizziness seems to have passed now (about a week, with not one dizzy spell). Fingers crossed!
With metta,
Q.
Re: What movies are you watching?
I decided to splurge a couple of months ago, and bought the combined set of The Lord of the Rings (Extended Edition) and The Hobbit (Extended Edition) on iTunes, just so that I’d be able to stream them in 4K on my iMac upstairs without disturbing my mother who often watches the evening news on the big tv downstairs. It was only 35 euros, so not hugely expensive.
I’m finally getting around to watching them now… starting with…
Jeroen
Re: What we are doing right?
I have continued:
a) not consuming/downloading pirated content (a.k.a. "not taking what is not given").
b) not taking my phone to the toilet (a.k.a. training in discipline).
c) practicing Wim Hoff breathing exercises (I get higher-level thoughts) and taking cold showers (training in discipline and doing the hard thing).
d) coordinating and donating towards/part of an annual scholarship and doing Kiva microloans (dana).
I am also tapering my coffee and benzo minimum dose (for the anxiety) addictions.
And I'm back to exercising and "not eating stupid shit" per @Jeffrey's excellent recommendation - looking to lose weight and improve my fitness, energy, and mood. I iz stupid and need a one-liner to guide me when in doubt or temptation.
marcitko
