Best Of
Re: how to...leave a church or not
It depends what you actually want. Often a religion presents itself as a source of truth, and you get taken in by it and become indoctrinated by the community and ritual, only to discover at a later date that what your heart really wants is to search for truth, love, freedom.
I grew up in the Osho communes of the 1980’s, and for me that was the beginning of a long spiritual path, with some pauses, which took me past Christianity, Osho, Buddhism, Advaita, and other places. Each new stop along the way gave me wisdom, sincerity and peace, and caused me to reflect with increased insight on what had gone before.
Sometimes it is necessary to let go of the old while moving forward with the new, but not always. Sometimes the old just lingers and things move in parallel for a while.
Jeroen
Re: how to...leave a church or not
That's one of the most beautiful things I've seen you write, @Federica.
Appreciate the share.
silver
Re: Modern Trauma
@Jeroen said:
Well, there is trauma and Trauma. Some traumas are so strong they shape people’s lives and intrude into the present. What most people have are background traumas, also important because they represent the most traumatic experiences of your youth but not intrusive. Both can be worked with.
I guess I think a different term for the small traumas of life would help. Like discomfort or anxiety, etc. Using the same term for meaningfully different things waters down the more severe traumas, it also elevates the stories we tell ourselves about the degree of hurt we experience.
I dislike the term ‘power’ because it’s actually not that, it just feeds the ego. I think presence is a better word, or perhaps groundedness.
In my metta practice I added a phrase, may all beings be confident, grounded and resilient in the face of life's hardships. I hadn't thought to use the word power, but all of those imply a sort of personal capacity. Though perhaps like the word trauma, power has different connotations depending on how its used and a different word would be better. How do you feel about empower? Or is that too close? Strength? Some connotation of having confidence that one has the internal resources to engage and overcome difficulty.
person
Re: Modern Trauma
Well, there is trauma and Trauma. Some traumas are so strong they shape people’s lives and intrude into the present. What most people have are background traumas, also important because they represent the most traumatic experiences of your youth but not intrusive. Both can be worked with.
I dislike the term ‘power’ because it’s actually not that, it just feeds the ego. I think presence is a better word, or perhaps groundedness.
Jeroen
Re: How is dependent origination different than determinism?
Dependent origination is a nicer way of explaining determinism.
Free will vs determinism
What we believe in is free will?
The choice that is made freely and willingly.
You are free to make a choice BUT you are not free from the consequences of that choice or non-choice.
Everything we choose to do is because we want the pleasure and don't want the pain.
When you choose not to eat that ice cream, was that really what you want or was it because you want to avoid the result?
Dependent origination takes into account of all the factors that led to that decision.
Re: Too much letting go redux
Ask yourself this question.
If you go to sleep tonight and never wake up again, would it be OK?
If the answer is NO, you haven't let go enough!
When this was said, the Blessed One addressed the monks. "Whoever develops mindfulness of death, thinking, 'O, that I might live for a day & night... for a day... for the interval that it takes to eat a meal... for the interval that it takes to swallow having chewed up four morsels of food, that I might attend to the Blessed One's instructions. I would have accomplished a great deal' — they are said to dwell heedlessly. They develop mindfulness of death slowly for the sake of ending the effluents.
"But whoever develops mindfulness of death, thinking, 'O, that I might live for the interval that it takes to swallow having chewed up one morsel of food... for the interval that it takes to breathe out after breathing in, or to breathe in after breathing out, that I might attend to the Blessed One's instructions. I would have accomplished a great deal' — they are said to dwell heedfully. They develop mindfulness of death acutely for the sake of ending the effluents.
"Therefore you should train yourselves: 'We will dwell heedfully. We will develop mindfulness of death acutely for the sake of ending the effluents.' That is how you should train yourselves."
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an06/an06.019.than.html
Re: How is dependent origination different than determinism?
Just a thought.
Dependent Origination is an explanation of the chain of causality which brings one to one's current position/place with all the wrappings and trailings therein. It is not a chain of suffering, although suffering may or will be inclusive in that chain. It merely states, "This is how you got here." However, you, we do have the power to direct our future karma from this point on. Some, we may have little control over, but much we have tremendous control over, as individuals. We each create, each within ourselves, the basic condition of gain, happiness or loss, suffering. We each can choose to fill an immense storehouse of the heart, celebrating this treasure and joy of life. It is a deliberate choice, regardless of outward appearances or perceptions. We see in the real world examples of people who seem to have little but their lives are full of appreciation, wonder, compassion - LIFE. We also have examples of people who seem to materially have a great deal yet are poor in life's being. They can not appreciate what they have in lif and find trinket and baubles to take their mind off their poverty of life.
Your karma is where you are at this moment. Your future karma is under your direction.
Peace to all
Lionduck
Modern Trauma
For a while I've had a sort of instinctive reaction against some of the ways trauma is being used and talked about today. This 5 minute segment of The Psychology Podcast gets to the heart of my objection. Its not that trauma doesn't exist, its that it gets presented in a way that traps people in a victim narrative, rather than teaching them to grow and learn.
...By going deep into that (trauma) as a victim, they're disempowering themselves and that's a problem, you know. Because then they're not accessing their inner core strength and belief in themselves...
In addition to that a quote of the day on the Insight Timer app came up that related to this. 
By telling yourself the story that you've been traumatized rather than you've overcome or grown creates a narrative in your mind of what the world is like. A specific example that sticks in my mind was in the Dan Harris interview with Gabor Mate, where he talks about the trauma of his youth leading him to strive and become a therapist. Its a true story, but is that story he tells himself more true than a story of gratitude about your success in life and a desire to let go of the suffering that striving causes any less true? And which story in the present lends itself to a happier more meaningful state of mind?
person
Re: The Other Elephant In The Room
Democracy Now
U.S. Hypocrisy Laid Bare as Biden Admin Claims ICC Can’t Prosecute Israel for War Crimes
The Biden administration is claiming the International Criminal Court has no jurisdiction to charge Israeli officials for war crimes. This comes after rumors that the ICC may be close to issuing arrest warrants for Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and other Israeli officials over possible crimes in Gaza. The International Court of Justice has rejected a request by Nicaragua to order Germany to halt exporting arms to Israel, but the court declined to throw out the case. For more, we speak with human rights attorney and war crimes prosecutor Reed Brody, who says ICC charges would be a “huge” development. “Since Nuremberg, no international tribunal has issued an arrest warrant for a Western official. For decades, we’ve had this double standard where international justice has only been effective for crimes committed by leaders of developing countries or by enemies of the U.S. like Vladimir Putin,” says Brody.
Shoshin1
Re: Martial Arts and Buddhism - Is it acceptable?
She likes it still but as she has a learning disability, the other kids "get" things easier than she does and she wants to wait for a couple of years and try again.
All that will matter is which of them is still practicing in a year, in 5 years, in 10 years.
My teacher has severe dyslexia and can barely read a word. He has cerebral palsy and used crutches when he started martial arts. Today he’s one of the beat martial artists in the world and holds black belts in multiple arts.
There are 5 ways to become a great martial artist, as he says. You have to do all of them. There are no shortcuts. First is patience. Second is perseverance. Third is to practice hard. Fourth is to practice exactly what you want to perform. Fifth, meditation.
“Learn fast” is conspicuously absent.
Linc