Best Of
Re: No Buddhist Quotes
“If the truth can be presented in such a way as to be understood, it will be believed.”
— William Blake
Jeroen
Re: On giving unsolicited advice
Has anyone read the article I posted? I’m interested in thoughts on it.
What kind of venter are you? Chilled dude excluded, hahaha
Myself…not necessarily chill…but I usually keep personal business to myself AFA friends or family. Same reasons the article mentions. I do vent when it’s major…usually to hear my own thoughts play out and goal is get to a Game plan by the time I’m done the steam… I’ll find psychology or Buddhist POV’s on the framing I’m having a problem with or things like that. I also try to exam behavior patterns or things I need to change that are causing the upheaval
What is this need of validation as it pertains to advice? I’m confused. If your life is a cluster fuck or you having a huge problem….you want me to validate what, exactly? Like the article says…your audience matters. Maybe I’m not the one to understand your perspective…or give empathy for your particular situation. The responsibility is not only on the listener. Communication is more complicated than that.
ETA: OP, can you give us an example of what you were talking about? When did/do you give unsolicited advice? To whom? About what? You also mentioned the cringe? Does that usually deter you next time? Or you just can’t help yourself giving the unsolicited advice even after it’s the same person or the same situation? Or you just can’t help yourself period? What do you think that cringe means?
Vastmind
Re: What Happens When Societies Stop Worshipping God?
I hope that less domination by religion would result in less retributive criminal justice systems.
ScottPen
Re: On giving unsolicited advice
OK, since you ASKED...
When people communicate openly, they're being vulnerable. When a relationship is egalitarian in nature (as opposed to mentor/student, etc), what the other person is looking for is someone who will listen to them and understand their perspective. Opening up to a friend is generally an attempt to regulate one's emotions and bring the nervous system back to a place of homeostasis. This happens when the listener listens, without judgment, without challenging, and exudes empathy.
Even if the speaker HAS asked for advice, they'll receive your input far more openly if you begin by listening to them and validating their feelings and perspective.
ScottPen
Re: No Buddhist Quotes
“Just as the colours in this carpet are brought out by light but light is not the colour, so is the world caused by you but you are not the world.”
— Nisargadatta Maharaj
Jeroen
Re: No Buddhist Quotes
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.”
~Voltaire~
Shoshin1
Re: The longing for enlightenment
I learned from Tibetan Buddhism the idea of good in the beginning, good in the middle and good in the end. Meaning, at the start of practice you want to set a noble intention, actually can't remember what good in the middle is, if its do a technically sound practice or keep the intention. And good in the end is to dedicate the effort to a noble end.
Doing all that sets, and trains, your mind towards an enlightenment goal over more mundane (though still positive) reasons, such as your own mental well being.
I can speak to my own experience that simply saying intention setting and dedication prayers before and after each sitting, and other instances, such as before a meal, have helped change my own mindset over time.
person
Re: The longing for enlightenment
companion option
I like this term companion option. If we are on the Path to Enlightenment/Awareness/Mindfulness/Awakening, everything becomes a potential companion or friend or skilful means.
For example:
- relaxation methods as opposed to stimulation and endless recycling of trivial time wasting
- finding the Buddha/Dharma Nature in all experience, people, encounters etc
never give up and give up are the same thing
lobster
The longing for enlightenment
Due to a change in circumstances I now have a different layout to my mornings, and as a result I have embarked on a re-reading of Nisargadatta Maharaj's book 'I Am That', which you can download freely as a pdf from the internet.
One of the things he said is that a longing for enlightenment and an earnestness are the most important elements in the search, that if you have these they will take you swiftly towards your goal. That any form of practice was just form for this longing, and that even without practice sitting and focussing on the longing itself would ensure your progress. But also that if you practice without this longing, then the practice would not help.
I found this insightful and also that it fits with Buddhist practice, where the bodhicitta is also meant to take one towards enlightenment. That longing is one of the very last desires to give up. The other thing that I liked about this chapter from 'I Am That' was that he said that the very idea of enlightenment was like a seed planted in the spirit, which would eventually come to fruition.
So a very useful pointer, to keep the longing for enlightenment in your mind, and not to focus too much on the practice.
Jeroen
Re: Buddhism, women and the goddess
@Jeroen said:
It seems people are quick to take offense…
I'm not offended. None intended. None taken. I'm not inclined to being quick to take offense, but I read something that doesn't seem quite right.
but never mind, it’s not important.
It was important enough to post in the first place, wasn't it?
You've posted things in this thread, that don't seem quite right, in my experience. I'm offering discussion about what you posted.
