Best Of
Re: Letting go of games
@Jeroen said:
Recently I made a summary on paper of the things telling me games weren’t a beneficial direction.
I’ve retrieved and translated my original summary, which were these five bullet points:
- Violence, habituation, conditioning, getting rewarded for violence
- Addiction and a challenge-reward cycle (dopamine) without a realistic counterpoint
- Disappearing into illusory worlds, which keep getting you further removed from reality
- Play rousing the desires of the player, kindling the passions, greed
- Teaching goal-oriented thinking, being busy with the mind and closed, not meditative and open
To a certain extent these were more present in the computer games I used to play (particularly World of Warcraft and Diablo 2, also Ultima Underworld), but to a certain extent I think they are also present in Dungeons and Dragons.
I think we have addressed the first two points earlier in this topic, but I think it would be useful to consider the other three as well in a bit more detail from the point of view of the dharma.
Jeroen
Re: Minimising suffering
Ajahn Brahm takes this sort of view. I also think its sort of inherent in the self compassion movement.
Its kind of like we think that being critical and harsh will motivate us to do something to change, which it can, but it also makes us feel negatively towards ourselves and less worthy of that positive change. If we focus on the good things we do and have compassion for our failings it helps build us up to a place where we value our own well being more and motivates us to do the things to create a happy mind and life.
I'd probably add a note of caution, that its important to acknowledge and allow the negativity to arise rather than repressing it. I think its more about learning to hold it kindly, let it go and focus on the positive. There is a relatively new psychological term called toxic positivity, which I personally think some take too far, but in essence has a very good lesson to it.
person
Re: No Buddhist Quotes
“The natural state is not a 'thoughtless state' -- that is one of the greatest hoaxes perpetrated for thousands of years on poor, helpless Hindus. You will never be without thought until the body is a corpse, a very dead corpse. Being able to think is necessary to survive. But in this state thought stops choking you; it falls into its natural rhythm. There is no longer a 'you' who reads the thoughts and thinks that they are 'his'.”
— U. G. Krishnamurti
Jeroen
Minimising suffering
I wanted to talk about a property of suffering that I have noticed. That is that if you give it attention it tends to grow larger in your inner field of view. The result is, if you think a lot about all the sources of suffering in your life, they will grow to encompass your thinking and you will probably become depressed. Negativity leads to more negativity, and it becomes a downwards spiral.
If, on the other hand, you chose to ignore sources of negativity in your life and give them only minimal attention, and instead focus on the positive things in your life, it is the positive things that will grow larger in your field of view, and you will find positivity leading to more positivity, engaging an upwards spiral, a “virtuous cycle” towards a happier life.
Of course, ignoring sources of negativity is not always easy, and it requires a certain attitude of bearing up under life’s burdens. The stoic philosophy is a good supporting methodology for doing this.
This has worked really well for me in the past, if you struggle with low mood you might want to give it a try.
Jeroen
Re: Getting better "blog"
@Jeffrey said:
I'm applying to a market to work in their gardens center this summer. I haven't worked for 17 years due to health reasons aka staying at home made more sense. It can be stressful to interview (I have interviewed over the years)
I found it helpful when I realized that I am not required to tell them everything. They are not telling me everything, so why should I. I do not lie, but find it's OK to give deflective half-answers that are still true. For instance, you might say that you had a gap in working "for personal reasons", "for health reasons", "I was a home-maker"... most probably they will not ask anything further since it would be rude and prying. I reserve "the truth and nothing but the truth" for family, friends, and spiritual friends.
marcitko
Re: Buddhist quotes
Love things the way they are,
and your love will be like the sun,
making the flowers grow.
Ajahn Brahm
Bunks
Re: Buddhist quotes
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything - anger, anxiety, or possessions - we cannot be free.”
― Thich Nhat Hanh
Jeroen
Re: Getting better "blog"
Take a comforting breath with you
Also if you have some B-vitamins they help a lot with hang overs.
Re: Getting better "blog"
@zorro said:
That's what I used to do. "It's not real, it's just brain chemistry. You can ignore it."It's just brain chemistry, because it means my brain is not producing or not processing chemicals like serotonin and dopamine correctly. You are still left with the physical sensations that anxiety brings with it, but you don't have to worry about it. Just let it be what it is.
This is interesting.. I bet anxiety attacks make good meditation objects.
Re: Letting go of games
Thanks Shoshin for the insight.
I’m still working on it, but it is beginning to look to me as if playing Dungeons and Dragons acts as a lens for what is going on in your mind. You get to explore all kinds of situations that in real life would never occur, and imagine your reaction to them. This means you can either get lost in it, or you can use the play as an opportunity for mindful observation.
Of course for a spiritual human being there is the question of being authentic and true to yourself. If you’re a dedicated pacifist in real life and even put spiders and wasps outside the house in a friendly manner, you might have difficulty with the idea of slaying a horde of goblins and taking their treasure. You might also find that role-playing coldly efficient killers is bad for your night’s rest.
Jeroen