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Are you afraid of death ?
zidangus
Veteran
In the past I think I used to be quite afraid of death and tried not to think about it that much, but since I became a Buddhist I feel that such fears are being eliminated. Understanding impermanence and meditation on impermanence has had a lot to do with it I think, so as I say I feel like I have very little fear of it. However, I do wonder if this will be the case, when death actually is near for me. I mean its all right saying that I don't fear death, when (touch wood) I have not experienced anything being close to death.
Anyway I would hope that my Buddhist practice would enable me to be calm and peaceful when my time comes, but there is still lingering doubt about what my state of mind will be at the time of death and how I will actually react when my time is up, (of course this is if I have a chance to react). I guess its the uncertainty of death that brings these doubts.
So I was just wondering how others feel about death, do others fear it ?, do others have doubts about what their state of mind will be at the time of death ?
Anyway I would hope that my Buddhist practice would enable me to be calm and peaceful when my time comes, but there is still lingering doubt about what my state of mind will be at the time of death and how I will actually react when my time is up, (of course this is if I have a chance to react). I guess its the uncertainty of death that brings these doubts.
So I was just wondering how others feel about death, do others fear it ?, do others have doubts about what their state of mind will be at the time of death ?
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I am at peace with it.
And I have had a near-death experience.
I past out in the bath-tub for sometime, and then I heard a voice telling me that I needed to wake up and that it wasn't time for me to go.
Who knows...
Hi LeonBasin,
Im just wondering if you consider the near death experience as a positive thing ?
Just that I imagine that having a near death experience must give you tremendous faith, and confidence to not fear death, as it is not so much an unknown after this experience.
Even WITH suffering or incapacitation.
it is what it is.
If it is as it is, I can change nothing.
Before I came to Buddhism I knew there was something I hadn't done, something really important. I couldn't have said what but I knew I couldn't die without figuring it out and think that's where some of my fear came from. It was like a strong feeling of unfinished business, a burning frustration. Now I know I've found it, I feel relieved and relaxed. And even if there's still a lot of work to be done when my time comes, I'll be happy I got the ball rolling in this lifetime
yes, I'm afraid. On one occasion I felt very short on breath due to a punctured lung, and I was really afraid I would die.
When I contemplate my death in a calm environment, I feel no fear at all, so my reaction to the concept of death is very different from the reaction to the reality of death. Still, I suppose that a calm reaction to the concept of death is a positive sign.
this was what I was saying, I don't fear death now, but that is easy to say when I am not in the position of actually dying. As I said, I can only hope that I can be mindful enough to bring my Buddhist practice to the fore when the time actually comes.
"Yes," the old man said. "I am afraid of dying."
The student was flabbergasted. Here was a guy who had spent a lifetime investigating the ins and outs of birth and death, of gathering an inner courage and clarity and strength ... and he was scared?????? The student expressed his surprise to the teacher.
The old man looked at his student sadly. "You don't understand," he said. "I am afraid of dying ... really! I am afraid of dying ... really!"
For me it is the opposite, I don't think I have any fear of how I will die, as the way I see it, the cause of death does not really change the final eventuality of death. For me its more of how I would react, as to whether or not I would be overcome by fear of dying and leaving this life into the unknown, or whether I could see through my Buddhist practice until my last breath.
Interesting peoples different takes on this.
The way to avoid fear of death, IMO, or rather the "I'm not ready to die!" feeling when the time nears, is to make the most of your life. Contribute as much as you can to life, to humanity. "Contributing" will look different for different people; for some, that means raising a family and instilling leadership skills in the kids, so they can go on to be bodhisattvas in their own way, in their own time. For others, it may mean taking on causes, empowering the marginalized, or being a comforting presence in people's lives. Then when your final days near, you'll be at peace, knowing that you did your part to leave the world a better place. And meditating on death when you're still hale and hearty helps clarify your priorities and make choices that lead you to living life to the fullest.
Peace.
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an06/an06.019.than.html
I would actually be surprised to feel fear of losing what I have in this life. I can imagine sadness for losing these things (although I don't know if I would feel sad) but not fear.
The process of dying I’m not too sure about.
Dying can be nasty and ugly, painful and slow.
Can I fit in the process of dying when it doesn’t turn out to be the peaceful thing I hoped it would be?
Being dead however is easy.
Epicure said it:
“Death is the least of my problems. When I am here, death is not; and when death is here, I am not.”
The old man looked at his student sadly. "You don't understand," he said. "I am afraid of dying ... really! I am afraid of dying ... really!"
Really!
B
There is no but, however's or anything else to say:)
It was definitely something that helped change my view about things.
I had other things that changed me or had a more positive effect on top of this.
But this definitely was positive.
Elaborating further, in leaving the student with last words so specifically inspired by that present moment the student is given the "secret", so to speak, to existence - his koan - his motivation to practice - to live - to die - awake to truth in-the-present-moment. It was a shock to his belief that the master was evolved somehow beyond all fear of death - an awakening..... too many words.........
It's so simple.
Really!
I was raised as a Christian, and taught there was a Heaven and a Hell. If I didn't act according to the Christian code of conduct, I was instantly going to Hell. Then I came to the conclusion that if there is a Heaven, cool, and if there is a Hell, cool. I came to accept I'm a human being, and that what comes with death comes with death. But really, do I die? Some form of me, even if it's just fertilizer for a tree, will continue to exist.
As I've begun studying Buddhism, I've learned not to fear it because it is INEVITABLE, and something better may await me. I've came close to death on at least three separate occasions (aren't intoxicants great?), and each time it reminded me that this life is only temporary. In the cycle of life, I may get elevated to a better state in the next life, and if there is no life after this one, the tree I mentioned earlier will be well fed. I cannot tell you what comes after, but there is no reason to fear something that comes for us all. Live your life well, make others smile, and when the time comes, don't be afraid, as it just means you have a whole new adventure ahead of you.
Like I said, the ranting of a newbie. If I'm off base in my thoughts, please forgive me, and even correct me.
- what I feel right now about the process of dying and the different ways to go
- what I feel right now about what it’s like to “be dead”
What happens in my brain the moment I fall off the cliff (for example)?
I suppose every stress hormone my body can release on such a short notice, will be released, and yes I will experience horror like I never have experienced in my life before.
Either that or I just faint.
I suppose only very few people (with abnormal brains) would not experience those symptoms and the physical horror of facing instant death.
But for me that’s all part of the process of dying. It can be painful and/or stressful to die.
But it isn’t necessarily so. Some people just go in their sleep; some are dead before they know what’s happening; and others die relatively peacefully completely stoned with morphine.
And “being dead” is not a frightening idea. Not to me.
The stress hormones that are released are a physical thing; they have nothing to do with my ideas and feelings about death.
When I say, "I don't fear death", it is not a flippant response. The only thing I fear is intense suffering. I have seen the effects of MS, Huntington's, end stage Alzheimer's etc. That kind of slow suffering is what I fear more than dying.
The physically traumatic letting go of the body phase of dying can be quite physically uncomfortable up until that point that one is willing to let it go and abandon it. The more one feels attachment towards one's body and struggles to stay attached to it, the greater that physical discomfort. I have a friend who insists that he is going to face death "kicking and screaming and fighting it all the way!" I respect his choice and smile on him, but I know that such choice will maximize his discomfort with the transition of dying. The transition can be far more gentle and peaceful, even with traumatic injury, ugliness, and a flood of blood all over the place! I know. I know because that was me once...
Meditation practice, attitude, and habit made it possible to get through the severe tearing and hemorrhaging of my body fully conscious and with no anesthesia whatsoever...
"Why isn't she screaming? She's had no anesthesia at all... Why isn't she going into shock?!" asked a young nurse, in shock herself from the sight of me.
From having experienced it myself, I can tell you from my own direct observations that one's practice makes it easier, calmer, more graceful to die..... or perhaps against impossible odds, to live...
(exactly because one isn't kicking and screaming and going into shock!)
They said that I got as close to dying as it is possible to get.
Against impossible odds, I lived.
Been there, done that, you need not fear.
so I wont waste space by repeating it.
When we fully understand what we are, we can see why Alan Watts described sentient life as "the universe playing a cruel joke on itself"