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Question about anger

edited January 2012 in Buddhism Basics
A little background before I ask my question:
-I'm new to this site (HI!!)
-I'm new to buddhism (I'm not a buddhist but currently looking for a place/group to practice and study)

For a little context, I live in Holmes county Ohio. It's two different worlds here, the amish and the rest of Holmes county. There are clashes from time to time, old ways of living and somewhat modern ways of living. Horses and cars share the same roads. I've lived here for two years and the amish make me upset. I've recieved obscene hand gestures, pointing and laughing, I've had rocks thrown at me, and I've been made fun of to my face in their language (a form of Dutch). I know I can't change them, I'm not looking to. But I can change how I react, so how does/would a buddhist overcome the anger that rises from these incidents? I used to internalize it but I know that's not healthy. I sometimes talk to my wife about it but I no longer want to burden her with it. Any help is appreciated.

-Dave

Comments

  • Dammit! I hate it when people ask about this. Just kidding. Anger is one of those emotions that is totally self-inflicted.
  • Actually, they all are.
  • taiyakitaiyaki Veteran
    edited January 2012
    get angry at anger =].
  • personperson Don't believe everything you think The liminal space Veteran
    edited January 2012
    When anger arises we hold onto it and spin all kinds of stories about it. In meditation one simply watches the anger without rejecting it or following its stories, when we do this the anger loses its feul and we slowly develop a habit for anger not to arise.

  • start doing some meditation and find the answers within....
  • Welcome... I have to believe that not all Amish are that myopic in their views. I don't want you to turn your anger towards the whole group. What choices do you have?

    A. Moving away, if that is possible.
    B. Tolerance, and staying away. I hopeyou are not engaging them into debates.

    Clearly, if they are becoming dangerous then seek the help of local authorities.

    If you don't have a temple you can always go online and find the material you want. Thereare good people here that won't Mind sharing that information.

    As far as finding the off switch on the anger...with practice it will get easier...and you won't give a fig about standing in line infront of foul mouthed Amish. You will simply smile and nod.

    When people can no longer push your reactive buttons, even when they try, because you have attained inner peace and insight on your true self...well, that's real power.

    Take that, Clark kent
  • what @person describe is called mindfulness or mindfulness meditation (also this is the beginning of vipassana)


    here is a video relating to anger that you will find very interesting (and entertaining enlightening liberating etc...)



  • auraaura Veteran
    You have lived there for 2 years...
    and you honestly believe that horses and cars can "share" a roadway?
    Horses and cars cannot "share" a roadway. In the interest of safety, cars must give way to horses, patiently wait behind them, and stay a respectful distance away from them so as not to spook them.

    Are these obscene hand gestures, pointing, laughing, and rock throwing incidents associated with your approaching or passing horses/carriages with your car?
    I would not be at all surprised if they were, as spooking a horse with a car can very easily cause someone's death or permanent disability,
    and horses, even well-trained horses, can be easily spooked by cars and kill the people around them as a result.
    The Buddhist response is to be mindful and respectful of such concerns.
  • ThailandTomThailandTom Veteran
    edited January 2012
    Your anger is only hurting one person at the moment, and that is yourself. If you start throwing it around and acting back at people, it hurts more than one person. I have always loved the hot coal explanation of anger becaue it is so simple and yet so true. Just imagine anger as a buring hot coal that you grip in your hand. The longer you hold on to that coal, the longer it will continue to burn, so to simply let go ouf it will start to ease the pain.
    These people who cause you to be angry, they are operating under a blanket of ignorance, it is important to begin to notice this within people, as the Dalai Lama stated 'normal people'.
  • ZeroZero Veteran
    I've only seen the Amish in documentaries - they come across as kind, religious people living their own way - guess when the cameras are off they start flicking the bird and throwing stones!!!
    If it wasn’t the Amish making you angry it would just be something else - if anger plagues you then it will find a way to express itself whatever the situation - today, while I was driving, a large lorry misjudged a corner and lodged itself in front of everyone - it took about 30 minutes for it to get moving during which time people were leaving their cars and arguing, F'ing and such... 'Can you believe it - I have to be somewhere - hurry up' etc etc...
    I just stayed in my car and carried on listening to music while the heater turned the chilly winter sun into a warm spring day - we all moved on eventually… as you do… and I didn’t burst my spleen… result!
    Joint a group – find a teacher - start your journey with a sound foundation - in time and with practice you will see anger for what it is...
  • @Zero, sometimes the only thing you can do is give space for those in connection with the problem to work on it. I like your post.

    As far as the hoodlum Amish I would just try to avoid coming under their influence. Most of this behaviour gets worse in groups. Avoid bad people. Don't sink to their level not in a snobby way just a vigilant way.
  • auraaura Veteran
    -I'm new to buddhism (I'm not a buddhist but currently looking for a place/group to practice and study)
    You asked the cosmos for a place/group to practice and study Buddhism. and the universe gave you one.
    The cosmos sent you to a land with slow horses blocking roadways and people swearing at you.
    You have been there for 2 years.
    They have been there for 10 generations.
    The cosmos has given you THIS place to practice and study Buddhism,
    right here, right now, to practice patience, mindfulness, and respect for other sentient beings...
    even those slowing you down and blocking your chosen path and swearing at you,
    and even 4 footed sentient beings.
    That is Buddhism.
  • ZeroZero Veteran
    @Zero, sometimes the only thing you can do is give space for those in connection with the problem to work on it. I like your post.
    So true - humbly thankyou - again humbled coming from you as your posts are always an inspiration...
  • Aww shucks :)
  • If you can let go of irritation when it occurs, you will be able to reflect on it later on. Being able to reflect on it in general is better than regretting a bad outcome.
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran
    edited January 2012
    Your experience with them shocks me. I visted many outside St. Loius and in Penn.
    They seem very passive.
    They make grand furniture and wonderful pastries!
    I agree that it might be best to avoid any hostile ones, and yes....watch for the horses.
    Many children are thrown from buggies.
  • Thank you all for the responses on how to improve myself and showing me a buddhist path. The amish are like many other cultures, they have a darkside. Again, I only want to change how I react. How the amish behave is their choice, I just want my behavior to be more positive. I thought I'd also mention that there have been amish people who have been kind to me. I'm not raging against the amish.
  • Thank you all for the responses on how to improve myself and showing me a buddhist path. The amish are like many other cultures, they have a darkside. Again, I only want to change how I react. How the amish behave is their choice, I just want my behavior to be more positive. I thought I'd also mention that there have been amish people who have been kind to me. I'm not raging against the amish.
    Thanks for sharing your story, it's very interesting. I would have never guessed how the dark side of Amish would be like.

    You could show them how cool your iphone is and then leave them all jealous. J/K.

    It's a weird situation. Someone throwing rocks at you from a horse buggy? And obscene hand gestures? Sounds like a scene from a dude road trip type movie. I don't have any good advice to give except minimize your contact with them. From a distance it looks weird and silly, no offense.

  • Didn't know the Amish had a fraternity and it was pledge week.

    Dude, where 's my buggy.
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