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Why did you become interested in Buddhism?
Please let me hear your stories!
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The long version: My first inkling that Theravada Buddhism was right for me was, and that it contained within it existential truths about life, was while reading Food for the Heart: The Collected Teachings of Ajahn Chah. The more I read and thought about life, about how each living being is subject to aging, illness, and death, and about how much we, as human beings, suffer mentally, the more I became interested in learning more about the Buddha's teachings, which promised to help put an end to suffering.
I found the teachings themselves both rational and empirical in nature. The Buddha isn't talking about anything beyond empirical observations (although some things do stem from extrasensory perception) and divisions of experience that are utilized to eliminate suffering in the mind; and the noble eightfold path doesn't rely or depend upon things I can't easily experience for myself or intellectually grasp on my own. Even its ethical structure is based on the perceived cause and effect relationship between our actions (kamma) and how they're experienced (kammavipaka). The methodology is pretty straightforward.
I spent a lot of time visiting a Thai Theravada temple near my house and meditating, especially during some really difficult times; and I had a feeling that this path had more potential for my spiritual growth and well-being than any I'd previously undertaken. I even quit my job at one point to spent some time living at a Buddhist monastery in Perry, MI.
Over the past decade, my study and practice has helped me in a number of ways, mainly by helping me to better deal with a range of emotional issues that have plagued me since adolescence, particularly depression and violent, angry outbursts, neither of which were abated by medication or pleas to the unknown that's labelled God. While progress has been relatively slow, there's been definite improvements over the years that have been noticeable not only to myself, but to friends and family as well. Much of this is thanks to following the Buddha's advice to his son, Rahula, in MN 61, observing the five precepts, and practicing mindfulness.
After I left the Catholic church, (at about 15 yrs old) I got very involved in Feminism, both politically and philosophically. Through feminism I found a whole revitalized religion/culture of female empowerment, Goddess worship and Wicca. Soon, I found myself on the Dianic Wiccan / Pagan path -- for the next 35+ yrs.
I'd known about Buddhism also from when I was a teen because a very good friend had a Japanese mom who was Buddhist. She was my first contact with Buddhism, she taught me chants, and some of the basics. All the years I was a pagan, I read about and mixed some aspects of Buddhism - including meditation - into my pagan practice.
Fast forward through some very interesting, very happy and very unhappy times within the pagan community and culture; I emerged several years ago with an even deeper, more profound sense of ... (searching for the right words) .... skepticism and disillusion with all things 'religious', supernatural and "magical". (All delusions, as I've mentioned elsewhere in this forum).
Anyway, from there I decided to set aside the dogma and arbitrary do's and don'ts of Any/All religion and jump with both feet into secular Buddhism. It seemed right, it seemed logical and it's worked very well for me; a nearly seamless and smooth transition. And here I am!
Eventually I got out, and was something of an agnostic again until I started reading Wittgenstein and the Daodejing and began wading into deeper philosophical waters. Along the way I met a Greek Orthodox priest who was helped me in so many ways. I was familiar only to a limited degree with Zen Buddhism but I still held a prejudice against Buddhism in general and another silly prejudice against Zen Buddhism in particular: (1) the old 'Buddhism-is-pessemistic' routine and (2) Daoism is all the cool parts of Zen but without the icky Buddhism aspect (there is certainly an influence, but this is an incorrect assessment of Daoism and Zen Buddhism).
So while I was exploring other religious traditions, mysticism and all kinds of philosophies, Buddhism was a non-starter for me for years. During this time though I explored Judaism, the Quakers and Unitarian Universalism (I was especially fond of the Quakers, which is a foreshadowing of sorts!).
I eventually became an atheist and sort of drifted for a while, sometimes reviving an interest in the Daodejing, but then wandering aimlessly again. I went through a period of reading and writing haiku and read R.H. Blyth's books which shows the Zen connection with haiku poets like Basho, Buson, Issa, and Santoka. Writing haiku became a kind of practice for me which softened me up for Buddhism.
In 2010 I decided I wanted to at least give zazen a go. I didn't want to mess with any Buddhist bells and whistles--just zazen. I had gotten a couple videos but I wanted to read some books-- and not just fluffy new age feel good books. But as I started reading more of the 'theory' behind it, the more intrigued I became until I read Thich Nhat Hanh's very short but powerful commentary on the Heart Sutra, where he talks about emptiness in terms of what he calls 'inter-being'-- and immediately everything clicked for me.
Gradually having an altar 'made sense,' and reciting gathas and now I have begin chanting too (something I thought I would never do!). I did take a 'detour' last year but even still Buddhism was there, and I knew I would return to it. Originally it seemed strange and alien to me, but it has grown on me and I know the time is ripe for me to finally go to a sangha.
I know that is a rather long and meandering story, but all those things contributed to finding the path--in a way I was searching for it for years--I just didn't know it at the time. That moment of first reading Thich Nhat Hanh make emptiness so clear to me was an important moment in my life, for which I am grateful.
@genkaku
" I am not a Buddha. I am just an ordinary fellow who understands things.”
I love that!!
I was a teenager who only listened to punk rock, dressed like one and had a big red mohawk. I was also getting into smoking pot and stuff. I'm not sure why but she recommended the book for me. It's about a punk rocker who had a really hard time with drugs and overcome his habits and bad lifestyle with the 12 step recovery program and Buddhist as his spirtual higher power that the program required.
It had instructions in the book on how to meditate on breathing. The author has a website with teachings about the eightfold path and stuff. I tried the meditation on breathing and I belief I had a great deal of success with meditation and enjoyed Buddhist philosophy and I particularly focused on the four noble truths. That is why I think Theravadin Buddhism is right for me as it seems to focus on that. I ended up meeting two Tibetan Lamas who stayed in my home when they were visiting my city in Ontario for an arts tour and to raise awareness about their culture.
Now I can't say so much that I'm a Buddhist insofar as that I don't practice it like I used to. But I enjoy coming on this forum and reading about it from time to time.
When I first had my break before transferring I was so depressed, but I don't have depression it was a understandable situation to be depressed like if a spouse dies you get depressed and then get over it.
Anyhow I had had a good vibe from my art history east/west, and chinese culture class. I wrote a paper I was proud of on zen and got an A which was a good memory.
So I picked up a book on meditation and it was Kathleen McDonalds Meditation book. It had meditations on emptiness even. In my grieving/depression at losing my sanity it was an oasis in terrible depression. I constantly worried and felt overwhelmed to the point I couldn't read my mail, but meditation gave me a good feeling, not a high to paste over my depression but rather the natural good feeling of the body when you dig deep into meditation and air out all the tension in the body.
Grew up going to a Catholic elementary school while raised in a Baptist household and going to a Baptist church. At around the age of 10, I was already asking my Sunday school teachers questions like "Why is Christianity better than Religion A?" "Why is Jesus our saviour and not someone else?" and "Why isn't Christianity considered a cult?"
At around 17 I stopped going to church and began my "angry years." I was an angry atheist and anti-theist. I replaced spirituality with dialectical materialism and communism. "Logic" and "reason" and "revolution" were constant in my vocabulary.
Then something clicked. I can't say what it was. But I was so tired of being angry all the time, always fighting the system... fighting what I would later know to be samsara.
Around this time, I started taking Asian studies classes as electives. In addition to finding out why I was so angry, I wanted to get in touch with my Chinese roots. Chinese philosophy, Intro to Chinese Buddhism, and Intro to Buddhism classes sounded good to me. In these classes, I learned about Daoism and Buddhism and consequently became very interested in Chan/Zen.
I dabbled a bit in other Buddhist traditions (mainly Jodo Shinshu and Pure Land), but Chan/Zen was the most accessible for me.
I was raised Southern Baptist and 100% believed in it until around the age of 10. I drifted in and out of doubt until I became an atheist at 13. Before I became an atheist, I expressed an interest in Judaism (and actually wanted to convert) and the only exposure to Buddhism was my moms, half-Japanese friends mother. Who, I believe, was Zen.
After a year into college, I became more of an agnostic and began exploring religion again. This included Judaism (again), Islam, Baha'i, Unitarian Universalism (which is the church I currently attend) ,Taoism, Confucianism, etc. Around my sophomore year, I read up on Buddhism and began studying. Even then, admittingly, I still expressed doubt and fell in and out. However, after a year, I'm convinced that Buddhism is the path for me. Soon, I plan on visiting the temples in my town, attend meditation sessions and eventually wish to join as a member of a sangha.
What seems interesting to me is that there have been no "sudden overnight conversions" with no previous exploration of Buddhism that would be analogous to most of evangelical Christianity.
I suppose there would be instances of that sort of thing, but it must not be too common (personally, I don't think such rapid conversions are healthy--in any religious or philosophical context).
Buddhism was very straight forward it provides a means for all humans to become one.
I suffered from depression and anger for most of my life. I took some counseling sessions and in college, I was really interested in the basic psychology classes I was required to take. At some point in my early adulthood, I heard of Buddhism, but didn't know much about it. Over the years, I learned just a little about it and started to become more interested. As I moved through my "grown-up" years, my depression turned into anxiety. For a while it was something that helped me survive a failed marriage and being a single mom-- I had to work and go to school and I was driven to support myself and my kids. I took a lot of literature and theory courses, one of which was heavily focused on Buddhism philosophy and I didn't know it (but loved every second of that class).
Eventually, I remarried and the kids grew up (almost) and I had another child. At this point, my anxiety was in overdrive and I was becoming acutely aware of my misery and how other people in my family must be miserable, too. I also reached an age where I started having a lot of regrets and seeing how short life really is. This is when I decided that I needed to do something-- something more than counseling and antidepressants. I needed to dig deep. So I read Peace Is Every Step and started meditating and joined a Sangha. I started realizing that Buddhism's philosophy has been with me for quite a long time, I just didn't know it! Several books later and 2 months into daily meditation, I feel like I've finally found the best medication for my ills.
I began exploring paganism in college when a friend's boyfriend gave my roommate and I some of his books. It was a very 'Wow' moment -- before that point I didn't realize that such religious alternatives existed. I will be forever thankful that I found paganism, because although I am no longer a practicing pagan, it got my started spiritualy searching.
My then roommate to this day, 17 years later is still wiccan. I didn't have such an easy time however. I felt rationally that I should be able to find my home in one of the many neopagan paths -- it made sense considering what I knew of myself and my interests, but something always felt like it was missing. Sometime back about 10 years ago, I had ended up looking a little into Buddhism. I was interested in Japan at that time, and I think my curiosity was an outgrowth of that. I found Pure Land particularly apprealing, but didn't feel like Buddhism was right for me -- I felt like I wasn't a good enough person (not compassionate enough, too angry, etc etc etc).
Later I began exploring my Jewish roots first at a Humanistic and then several years later at a Reform temple. It gave me more appreciation for my heritage, but I tended to feel like an outsider looking in. I didn't have the same experiences that other members had growing up, and I often felt like there was little common ground. I also had some theological issues since what I was learning didn't square at all with my previous pagan experiences (and to be honest, I'm just not monotheistic. It doesn't make sense to me). After I came to the conclusion thatl Judaism was a no go, I went through a period of not thinking to much about spirituality and religion in general.
Then some months ago out of no where I was seized by the desire to look into Buddhism again. I wish I could tell you all why, but I really don't know where it came from. Just had a sense that I should look at it again. That time was entirely different. I stopped seeing it as a race where I had to change all my habits ASAP, and more of life long journey that could be embarked on at my own speed. Suddenly, it seemed so much more approachable, and it makes a lot of sense to me. Buddhism's view of gods also jives with me since Buddhism does not deny their existance, but does not believe in a creator diety. This means I don't have to twist myself into a mental pretzel to make my spiritual experiences as a pagan line up with a new religious direction, nor do I have to believe in a single creator god which I never could do. That's allowed me to have some closure and move on from my pagan beginnings. The first books I read were Zen, and I thought about going in that direction, but I've been steadily moving more and more back to soley practicing Pure Land.
I could never understand why people got hung up about trivial things (Someone put a dent in my car!!! Someone called me a name!!!) but thought that maybe there was something wrong with me.
Now it all makes sense......
:om:
Now... to find a sangha!
With regards.