Question about resident retreat

karasti

I have been attending weekend (basically 8-5 Saturday and Sunday) retreats a few times over the past year with my teacher. He does not live in my area, but he comes here to do these retreats.

In May he is doing a 5 day long Guru Yoga residential retreat where I live. I am in a conundrum trying to figure how important the meals and/or residential part is, largely due to finances. The fee for the teaching is negotiable as always, they don't track it or anything, they just put a pot near the door and you put in whatever you can afford. But the cost for staying in the cabins and eating the meals is another $250.

My question is, is it worth it, in your opinion, to pay the money for the experience of eating meals and spending the night with the retreaters? I know all of them already, we are part of the same smallish Sangha. The teachings end at dinner time and the evening is all free time.

I only live about 5 miles from where the retreat is taking place. The problem is, if I spend the other $250 to include the meals and spending the night, I will not have the extra money to take a Master Naturalist coarse in June, which will allow me to do numerous volunteer projects involving nature and restoration of habitats and other such things. Taking that class will get me a certification that'll get my foot in the door for the job I'd like to have once I return to work in a couple years as well.

Add to the conundrum that for me to attend the whole retreat even if I don't spend the night, my husband has to take 3 days off work, and I will miss both his birthday and my mom's birthday. Of course, we can celebrate them another time but I'd feel a little bad.

Anyone have thoughts? Do you think staying the night especially is somehow so beneficial that I should spend the extra money to do so? I think it would be pleasant, and in a way it would be very nice to be able to immerse in the whole retreat, with no internet, no cell phone, and being able to practice and contemplate the retreat teachings without having to come home to a house that is noisy and bustling with activities. But I can't decide if it would be worth it or not.

hermitwin

the short answer is yes.
$250 is a small investment.

karasti

It might be a small investment to you, but with only one income and 5 people in our family, we are careful about how we spend all our money. I just don't know if the $250 will benefit our family (it is not my money alone to spend) as much as spending it on the naturalist course which will help with a job in the future. I can totally see how it is a benefit and a good investment, and I wouldn't think twice about it if I didn't have the week long class in June to consider, too.

chela

Personally, I wouldn't spend the extra money on the food and overnight, when you live so close to the retreat place. That is just me, though, you have to figure out what is most important. It seems like the middle way could be to do the retreat, but to save the money on overnight and meals if you don't really need them. Or maybe there will be another retreat in the future that won't happen at the same time as the family birthdays. You also might want to think about your kids and family-- what is most important to teach the kids right now: either to be there for birthdays of those you love, or to do your own thing.

BhikkhuJayasara

I can't speak from the money part of it as I've only ever stayed at monasterys and I've never had to pay anything.

I WILL speak on the importance of overnights. I do 4-7 days every other month at the forest monastery. Sometimes during a totally silent retreat, sometimes not, but you will notice a total difference in your practice and thoughts after being disconnected from the modern world and able to practice for days.

If you can afford it.. I say do it. Personally I don't think I'd ever pay for it if i didn't have to

karasti

I should specify the retreat is being held at a wilderness resort, so the use of the whole resort including the dining hall, the cabins and the kitchen is being rented to the sangha. That is where the fee comes from, just so no one things it is a monastery or temple that is charging the fee. I do disconnect from the modern world on a fairly regular basis, being lucky to live in the area we do. But not specifically for practice. It is something I would definitely like to do, but having a young family doesn't make it easy To do it elsewhere, I would have to travel a fair distance which also costs extra money. I have a teenager getting ready for college and a younger one with high medical expenses, so money is a premium, especially on one income, lol.

The cabins are shared, so there would be no solitary time. 4-6 people to a cabin. My husband is ok with it if I decide to do the overnight portion, but it's just hard to justify spending the money to stay in a cabin that's walking distance from my house. I could sleep in my yard in a tent for free, lol.

BhikkhuJayasara

That's very close lol, you are right you could do it in your back yard. I drive 5 hours and turn off my phone, no kids or wife to worry about. That's a tough decision but at least your husband is supportive :-)

karasti

Perhaps what I should do is spend nights at home, but plan ahead and make the evenings as peaceful as possible, no tv, no computer and let the family know that is going to be the plan. We put in "electronic free" time on weekends sometimes anyhow. I'll have to think about it. I know the times I've gone to the other retreats, it's really hard to hold onto the feelings once I step in the door, and perhaps staying over night and taking full advantage will make it easier to bring those things home with me. I can make a deposit and get it back as long as I cancel by May 1st (retreat stars on the 15th) so maybe I will do that. There is only room for 40 people so I don't want to wait too long to decide, either.

lobster

I have never regretted going on retreat.
As you are doing deity practice. Learn this:
http://www.artelino.eu/en/articles/tibetan-mythology/166-jambhala.html

blu3ree

I'm interested in naturalist course. What does it allow people to do?

Vastmind

Would your husband get paid for the days off?

If your choice/budget is one or the other.....
my vote is for the potential investment in a later
job. That will pay for retreats later on. Also, the
potential for volunteer gigs. Especially
since you can take advantage of being so close,
right now.
BTW...my vote doesn't count in your house, but
I know $250 is a good chunck of change in
a house of 5 people. Saving the money now, seems
to be able to pay off more later. In more ways than one.
It doesn't mean you are not committed to the practice/Sangha.
Just a practical decision.

trendybuddha

For me buddhism is about benefitting all beings, and to me it sounds like spending the money on the course will benefit more beings than the retreat. Will there be other retreats with this teaching? Plus to me it sounds like you want to spend the money on the course. Plus you can attend without staying over.

karasti

He would get paid, yes, he has the vacation to take. But we are also taking a family vacation at the end of May and the week off in June for my class, which leaves him with not much left. However, he also gets to travel sometimes for work and will be going for 8 days in April for his job, which is a nice break for him. He supports my doing retreats and such because they are my breaks.

@blu3ree This is a basic overview of the program. I would be doing the Northwoods/Great Lakes biome, as that is the part of the state I live in. Many states have similar programs.
http://www.minnesotamasternaturalist.org/about/

DairyLama

karasti said:

My question is, is it worth it, in your opinion, to pay the money for the experience of eating meals and spending the night with the retreaters? I know all of them already, we are part of the same smallish Sangha. The teachings end at dinner time and the evening is all free time.

I would advise going home at night.

karasti

I found out this morning we are having a smaller retreat in April as well. I think for now I will plan on just coming home. I think that'll work the best for everything we have going on the next few months. I always keep an open mind, and if something changes if there is room I can change my mind. It's not worth putting our family budget in the hole. Thanks for the thoughts, everyone!