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Isn't it better idea to ignore people who are never serious ?

rohitrohit Maharrashtra Veteran
in General Banter
Some people just don't understand the seriousness of time or behavior. I have come across people who live life carelessly. If we become too much protective then they think that all care should be taken by others and they can live without responsibility. Normally in such cases people fell into trouble because things changes rapidly. All emotional blackmail fails because people fade up of things and dramas. I think not becoming protective at first place is an better idea. Some great person has said that 'we can not help people by doing work which must be done by themselves'.

If things go out of hand we think that it our own fault but it is not actually.

Time matters lot. In this case just moving on ,do earns bad karma or not?
VastmindInvincible_summer

Comments

  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator
    I think it varies widely depending exactly what is at hand. Everyone is at different levels of understanding. Simply ignoring those who are not at what you perceive to be as high a level as you are, I don't think is the right way to go. I also think it depends what people need help with, exactly. There are so many possible levels and scenarios that could fit into your question that I think it's impossible to answer it. If you have something specific in mind, it might be best to share the details (what you can) to get a more clear answer.
    Vastmind
  • aMattaMatt Veteran
    We are not responsible for others' karma ever. When we wish to help, just try to be genuinely nourishing, respect free will, and accept that when we make mistakes (if we're lucky and open) we learn.

    Perhaps you are extra-serious to compensate for seeing others as irresponsible? We can be playfully responsible, no need to be serious. Serious sounds like morality, which is more of a prison than a solution.

    With warmth,
    Matt
    riverflowVastmind
  • ZendoLord84ZendoLord84 Veteran
    Everybody can teach you something
    lobster
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    It reminds me of school group projects. A few people would end up doing the lions share of the work because they others didn't take a role or ask for work. So that's how I orientate to your problem. Maybe I don't get what you are saying.

    I would say that indifference to people is not a virtue. Equanimity would be opening to them however they are. At the same time you presumably don't have perfect equanimity so in the short run you could avoid those people and run with a crowd of serious people.
    riverflow
  • pegembarapegembara Veteran
    Isn't it better idea to ignore people who are never serious ?

    It is generally fine to leave others to their kamma if they are not opened to advice. However this is not an option if one's dependent are still children or young adults who have not yet matured.
  • zombiegirlzombiegirl beating the drum of the lifeless in a dry wasteland Veteran
    My dad's like this. His irresponsibility and lack of concern for the future frequently drives me CRAZY but then again, I am a planner and a control freak. Over the years, I have realized that while I like to cling to an illusion of control, the unexpected happens anyway. And when it does, this tends to upset my controlled lifestyle, but for my father who lives in chaos, set backs upset him very little. I can now admit that mentally, I suffer more in general. So, while I wouldn't trade him for his lifestyle, I do think there is something to be learned in his methods.
  • pegembarapegembara Veteran
    His irresponsibility and lack of concern for the future frequently drives me CRAZY but then again, I am a planner and a control freak.
    You shouldn't chase after the past
    or place expectations on the future.
    What is past
    is left behind.
    The future
    is as yet unreached.
    Whatever quality is present
    you clearly see right there,
    right there.
    Not taken in,
    unshaken,
    that's how you develop the heart.

    http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.131.than.html
    Have an auspicious day!
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    I have a greater tendency to ignore those who are too serious!

    They have a tendency to have their heads stuffed too far up the 'sun don't shine' location.........
    ChelobsterMaryAnne
  • ZaylZayl Veteran
    I wouldn't call myself serious, however at times certain situations have a gravity about them that brings me more down to earth. I am pretty carefree, and I try to live life in the moment when I can. I don't worry about tomorrow, or the day after, or next year even. What matters to me is love and life and light and music and perhaps somebody to keep me warm on cold nights.

    Say what you will. But sometimes being too serious for too long can have a detrimental effect on how you handle the world. From my experiences for example, only the ultra serious people I have known have been the ones to commit suicide. That is of course an extreme example, but a legitimate one. Being too serious all the time leads to suffering. Being way too carefree all the time also leads to suffering (I have learned and remedied this somewhat)

    So, what was that Gautama said about the middle path? ;)
  • NevermindNevermind Bitter & Hateful Veteran
    I tend to take serious people seriously, and silly people sillily.
    Kundorohit
  • CheChe Veteran
    @nevermind....."When in Rome" :D
  • aMattaMatt Veteran
    Nevermind said:

    I tend to take serious people seriously, and silly people sillily.

    I was seriously going to respond to... nevermind.
    FullCircle
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    Some of us are reflective. Some of us are deflective. Some like me, are defective. The important thing . . . but not too important is dealing with each appropriate to their needs . . . however that takes a bodhisattva mentality and some of us just laugh at that . . .
    http://yinyana.tumblr.com/post/54500407089/now-that-the-official-t-shirt-has-arrived

    FullCircle
  • BeejBeej Human Being Veteran
    serious about what? what you THINK they should be serious about? if you have been lucky enough to meet a person who can remind you that there is NOTHING to be serious about, then you have been very lucky. If this person is causing you real problems, then fine, distance yourself. if they aren't causing you harm, then you would be a fool not to learn from this jester.

    "Jesters do oft prove prophets." - The Entity known as William Shakespeare
    Kundo
  • KundoKundo Sydney, Australia Veteran
    Namaste,

    I used to be not so serious about Buddhism. I dabbled, wouldn't commit fully, was more concerned about "labels" and such. But if my Sangha hadn't taken me seriously, I'd still be floating along in Samsara. They were patient with me, answered my questions and just waited.

    And here I am today, actually trying to follow the 8Fold Path and trying to live mindfully. We need to remember there is often more than meets the eye. We just need to shift our paradigm.

    In metta,
    Raven
    karmablues
  • DaozenDaozen Veteran
    It's a question of timing. Comedy contains great wisdom!
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