Best advice (Depression/Anxiety)

leahnc

For those of you that have ever been clincally depressed, what is the best advice, quote, video that you can share?

Thank you

ericcris10sen

I suggest whatever causes your depression, try and get away from that situation. Whether it be around a certain person, or always staying in the house, or whatever it may be. Go out and do things that you REALLY enjoy doing. And if you like to be with someone (as I do) ask a friend or family member to go with you so you have company. The hardest thing to do is to start getting out and start doing things you enjoy. Because your mind will start telling you that you should just sit around and sleep or you should eat food all the time, or whatever your head tells you to do that keeps you from doing things you like. I don't know what makes you depressed or angry, but it's going to continue until you make a firm decision to not let it take control of your life.

But each person goes through different kinds of difficulties in their lives. What works for one person, might not work for another. It's hard to give someone suggestions if we don't know what depresses you. But if that's private, then we won't push it further.

vinlyn

I was on Paxil for a couple of years, although it was not a very heavy dose. I agree with ericcris10sen -- get out and do stuff. I don't really care much what the stuff is. Go to a movie, lunch, stroll the malls, visit a friend, look for a social group that plays cards...you name it. The more active you are, the less depressed you are sometimes likely to be.

It's not the whole answer...but it is one little part of the puzzle. And it strikes against that stay home and feed on depression aspect of the problem.

leahnc

Thank you for asking why Im depressed. I tend to not discuss it with my friends and family because I am surrounded by people who do not complain or discuss deep matters. I honestly do not personally know anyone who suffers like this? At least they dont discuss it with me?


I believe I am depressed because I don't trust myself. I've never trusted myself. I look outside myself for answers. I Google everything, I ask for reassurance repeatedly. I make a decision then doubt it or worry I made the wrong decision.

I dislike labels, but I actually have a form of Obsessive Compulsive disorder called Primarily Obsessional OCD. This form is mostly cognitive in nature, involving mental avoidance and excessive rumination! I am on medication.

As a young child I believed all of my fearful thoughts. As a child, I saw a kitchen knife and had a thought I could hurt someone with it. I hid the knives & I told my mom that I had bad dream about knives. I am not a violent or angry person so this thought was very unwelcome & disturbing.

So since childhood I believed I was my thoughts.

This is another example, but I will have a thought like "I dont love my children" & then I will automatically believe the thought -even though my values and actions are validation that I certainly do love my children. I actually believe the thought and then I doubt myself.. I can do this with almost any thought.

A few years ago I had the thought what if life is a dream, or what if only i exist? It sent me into full blown clinical depression and hospitalization a few years ago.

I am better than I was but Im almost 40 years old & just tired of living this way. Im not going to give up or fall victim to this depression, but I need a good practice or tools to carry me through.

Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to open up & discuss this

genkaku

@leahnc -- I suggest you find a counselor. Bits and pieces of Internet kindness may be all well and good, but sitting face-to-face with someone whom you find trustworthy and has some skills is likely to have more reliable long-term results.

Best wishes.

Citta

genkaku said:

@leahnc -- I suggest you find a counselor. Bits and pieces of Internet kindness may be all well and good, but sitting face-to-face with someone whom you find trustworthy and has some skills is likely to have more reliable long-term results.

Best wishes.

Seconded.

vinlyn

genkaku said:

@leahnc -- I suggest you find a counselor. Bits and pieces of Internet kindness may be all well and good, but sitting face-to-face with someone whom you find trustworthy and has some skills is likely to have more reliable long-term results.

Best wishes.

Naturally. I thought was assumed.

leahnc

Thank you I agree that counseling is the way to go. I already have an appointment set up but its not until Sept ...

Citta

leahnc said:

Thank you I agree that counseling is the way to go. I already have an appointment set up but its not until Sept ...

Perhaps you could let us know how it goes...not the details of course. Just whether you were helped.

leahnc

Thank you Citta. I will keep you updated. I was in therapy a few years ago & was doing really well (emotionally) until a few weeks ago. Stress from work brought it back full circle. Im learning acceptance, but realize I may need to work through these deep seated issues within a supportive environment. I dont have very much emotional support within my close network. Thank you

Citta

_/\_

maarten

Hi Leah,

what you are saying reminds me of some advice I heard on you-tube. It's basically that we should not try to block out evil. You can fully acknowledge that you are capable of doing evil, and then, understanding that evil deeds just bring pain and unhappiness, make the obvious choice of refraining from evil deeds and choosing loving deeds. The more clearly you see the down side of evil deeds (again, don't try to just block out the possibility of doing evil, because that option is going to stay there whether you like it or not, just look the evil deed in the face and see that it's ugly), the more trust you will gain that you will make the obvious choice for good deeds and happiness.

Hope this helps, best wishes,
Maarten

ericcris10sen

leahnc said:

Thank you for asking why Im depressed. I tend to not discuss it with my friends and family because I am surrounded by people who do not complain or discuss deep matters. I honestly do not personally know anyone who suffers like this? At least they dont discuss it with me?

I believe I am depressed because I don't trust myself. I've never trusted myself. I look outside myself for answers. I Google everything, I ask for reassurance repeatedly. I make a decision then doubt it or worry I made the wrong decision.

I dislike labels, but I actually have a form of Obsessive Compulsive disorder called Primarily Obsessional OCD. This form is mostly cognitive in nature, involving mental avoidance and excessive rumination! I am on medication.

As a young child I believed all of my fearful thoughts. As a child, I saw a kitchen knife and had a thought I could hurt someone with it. I hid the knives & I told my mom that I had bad dream about knives. I am not a violent or angry person so this thought was very unwelcome & disturbing.

So since childhood I believed I was my thoughts.

This is another example, but I will have a thought like "I dont love my children" & then I will automatically believe the thought -even though my values and actions are validation that I certainly do love my children. I actually believe the thought and then I doubt myself.. I can do this with almost any thought.

A few years ago I had the thought what if life is a dream, or what if only i exist? It sent me into full blown clinical depression and hospitalization a few years ago.

I am better than I was but Im almost 40 years old & just tired of living this way. Im not going to give up or fall victim to this depression, but I need a good practice or tools to carry me through.

Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to open up & discuss this

I think that's natural for people to not want to discuss their problems with others. No one wants to put their burden on someone close, especially if that person you're talking to, doesn't really CARE, or hasn't been through anything you've gone through, or probably doesn't have any helpful advice. That is tough when you're going through something and you feel that you can't TALK to someone, person to person without them judging you or wanting to help out. When I was in the military I had someone who was going through the SAME problems, and we helped each other out (we didn't get rid of our depression or harmful thoughts, but we made it so we can continue on and at least LIVE with the problem, day by day).

I've never had to deal with those issues before, so I can't give you any REAL help with them, I apologize. I've been looking at this screen for probably 10+ minutes trying to think of something I can tell you that might help, but I don't think it'll be helpful, but I'm sure you'll get some good help from others on here.

And you're welcome It's always good to get things out of your system every once and a while.

leahnc

Thank you again! I will be Ok. I appreciate everyone's kind advice. This is nothing new for me. I've been dealing with this on and off for years. I accept that this is just a relapse and buddhism helped me in the past. Unfortunately I treated Buddhism as I philosophy and I know now it has to be applied to life and lived. I will be better off emotionally if I practice. Maybe after some therapy and practice I can put the pieces back together again. I'm keeping busy today even though I'm online occasionally. So that is helpful... Thank you for reaching out to me

Jeffrey

You are probably already having some contextual beneficial strategies, but you could gain more!

My strategy is two-fold. One is to just be where you are in the present. For example suppose I have some persecutory voices telling me that my lama is my fire alarm. (true story). Ok so I can get angry and analyze my practice angrily. That itself is a strategy as anger can be cathartic. But I have also learned others. I have learned to have confidence. Whatever I am doing I believe I am a good earth person. I awake to the rising sun rather than mull over the sun setting down. Another strategy on from confidence is again to be in the present. I am having voices, but my life is safe. There are not Nazi snipers waiting on the roof of my neighbors house. It is natural to be anxious granting my psychotic voices. Anybody would be anxious with voices. And realize that you lose about 40 IQ points when panicked. Don't be hard on yourself just exist within your challenges as they appear in the present.

misterCope

@leahnc, do you meditate very much? Does it help when you do?

Please know that you are not alone.

leahnc

I do not meditate. I try to practice mindfulness but I don't have a daily practice. I watch some YouTube videos about mindfulness and videos from monks & try to apply the advice to my situation. There is a lot of useful tools out there

misterCope

Is there a reason that you don't? Just curious.

vinlyn

leahnc said:

I do not meditate. I try to practice mindfulness but I don't have a daily practice. I watch some YouTube videos about mindfulness and videos from monks & try to apply the advice to my situation. There is a lot of useful tools out there

I'm similar. I have tried meditation, but just don't find it very successful. So I try "focused mindfulness" when I am doing my 2 mile walks...and in general, when possible.

leahnc

Its just something I was never able to stick to? Mindfulness is what I enjoy & feel that I can sustain long term. Watching thoughts arise and leave.

gracelee

Hello


I also suffer from anxiety and depression, the most helpful thing I have found is to learn how to stop judging myself and beating myself up(self-acceptance)... I highly recommend looking at the videos on this website:

http://www.self-compassion.org/

and perhaps buying the book: There is nothing wrong with you by Cheri Huber... which is an amazing and simple book on self acceptance, I have found that since I have really focused on being kind to myself, my anxiety and depression improved a lot. once you love yourself everything else falls into place


Good luck