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Dhamma friends from other religions
Invincible_summer
Heavy Metal DhammaWe(s)t coast, Canada Veteran
As I don't have time to find a sangha to join (or regularly attend one for that matter), I don't have any in-the-flesh "dhamma friends," or people who are also Buddhist that I can share the spiritual path with.
However, I do have a couple of friends who are Christian that I talk to about spirituality, even if we're not on the same page about specific doctrines or practices. Their desire to lead a spiritually fulfilled life (for Jesus) is helpful for me to be around as well.
Do any of you have dhamma friends that are Buddhist? Or maybe of other religions? Do you feel it's just as helpful to be around committed followers of other faith traditions, as it would be to be around committed Buddhists?
However, I do have a couple of friends who are Christian that I talk to about spirituality, even if we're not on the same page about specific doctrines or practices. Their desire to lead a spiritually fulfilled life (for Jesus) is helpful for me to be around as well.
Do any of you have dhamma friends that are Buddhist? Or maybe of other religions? Do you feel it's just as helpful to be around committed followers of other faith traditions, as it would be to be around committed Buddhists?
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That within a Buddhist practice which allows me to connect with them is the same thing that allows me to connect to anyone trying to address the human condition through a spiritual path.
If you are comfortable in your practice and enjoy the discussion with your other-faith friends, then why not? Buddha didn't say only to hang out with people who are Buddhist. Just not to waste your time with fools who might cause you to stray from your own faith. (that's my understanding of it, anyhow). If you feel supported and cared for in your group, and can have open and honest discussions, then I think that's great!
The people in our Sangha who are Christian, or Christian-Buddhists have been a huge blessing to our group. Bringing other faiths together can actually enhance understanding of both of those traditions, and it's increased my understanding of Jesus' teachings a lot.
It's kind of a coincidence that you post this actually @Invincible_summer. I was at my nieces 10th birthday yesterday with most of my direct family and some of their friends and I felt a bit ostracized. If they weren't talking about the behaviour of their 4 year old (my wife and sister in law) they were discussing house prices, share prices and overseas holidays.......yawn!
Anyway, don't want to hijack your thread. I think what you are doing is wise!!
my grandfather always said if you have one true good friend in this world, consider yourself lucky. I am lucky to have that friend, and even more lucky that he seems to want to follow the same path behind me, which in all honesty came out of the blue one day with his interest, and now a few years later I send him dhamma videos all the time for him to watch. I can discuss anything with this friend and I do consider him a kalyanamitra.
There are buddhists who I don't know very well outside of monastic/buddhist setting, but who I also consider kalyanamitra. I find it greatly helps my practice to be around other Buddhists when I can.
But I don't like to discuss religion or spirituality generally, as most people feel their beliefs Must Not Be Questioned even by themselves. I feel as though I've graduated from that (and the Church) and am better off just moving on. I get in enough hot water on NewBuddhist from people who refuse to contemplate for just a few minutes anything outside their experience. "Caught in the trap of their own beliefs" is what I think.And then they just start polluting everything with their juggernaut thoughts.
speak religious/spiritual stuff with one.
And she's a First Lady...(Here, that's what they call
a pastor's wife). It has turned out to be a wonderful
friendship!
there is no back and forth. Just sharing and listening.
The other two? Nope....I don't bring up anything like
religion.....they're not open to listening to anything
different. They know I'm Buddhist...but pretend
like I'm not...hahaha.
Two friends at the Temple...but I found the
friendships hard to maintain just bec we are
at different stages with different priorities in
life.
Same with the retreats....
It's hard to keep in touch and maintain with so many
people in large groups coming and going.
Aside from deep friendships....I'll talk, hang out
and entertain just about anybody as long as their
nice.
That would make perfect sense. If you don't "have time" to find a sangha, you surely don't have time to make Buddhist friends.
That's a shame.
Absolutely. I belong to a sangha made up of wonderfull people. I'm socially connected to several other sanghas as well. My best friends are Buddhists. My wife is Wicca, but that's about as much as I know about my non-Buddhist friends. In mosy cases, I don't really know what kind of religious leanings they have and to be honest, I couldn't care less
No, not really. I take refuge in the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. Where non-Buddhists find refuge isn't of much interest or importance to me. I value my friends for reasons other than their religion.
It's also possible that @Invincible_summer hasn't found a sangha that sits well with them yet? Or that they sit well with, whichever.
become in the moment that two sincere practitioners can stay in.
Here, all manner of differing dogmas can take a back seat compared to the vast space that one shared heart takes up.
Because all of our existences arose from a mistaken belief that we were somehow apart from that heart, all the sentient life you meet is just another expression of karmic searching for a resolution to that mistake.
The saying "that when the student is ready, the teacher appears" is just another way of saying that each one of us, in each moment, can either be part of that separation or it's resolution.
A friend to me is being some manifestation of that resolution,
We also talk about all the normal family and work and life stuff too. Regardless of the rest of it.
I have a friend who I have known for all by 6 weeks of my 38 years on the planet. We have been best friends since we were babies, and we remain so. It is a very special friendship. He is not Buddhist, and currently does not identify specifically with one religion. He is happy to listen to me share what I wish to share and I listen to him as well. I have other friends who are not nearly the same level, and then I have many acquaintances. In our local Sangha, which has maybe...10-15 regular attendees, I have 2 I consider friends. But all of them are Dharma brothers and sisters, and that itself is a very special relationship even though I don't consider most of them social friends just because I do not see them out of Sangha and all we do talk about is Buddhism.
You might be surprised if you just open yourself to the possibility of a Sangha. You might not have to search for it if you merely open yourself to it instead of having already convinced yourself you don't have time. Take a look when you have time, and check it out. Not much time commitment required. My Sangha meets for about 90 minutes every Saturday. I can't always make it due to family schedules, but that's ok. I make it most of the time and I find myself hardly waiting to get up and go to our meetings because being in a space with people who are on the same path (though perhaps different areas of that path) is invaluable.
Among the friends who do have Buddhist training (with one notable exception -- a monk who might understandably be forgiven
Sometimes I think it is easier/more likely to receive good teaching from those who haven't got clue-one about anything as wonderful as "Buddhism." No criticism intended here ... just surveying the landscape.
I also have time for a sangha, both to find and to serve. My sangha is nearly an hour's drive away It is, in some ways, inconvenient; it can be a real pain in the ass. I don't go as often as I'd like, but when I do go it's both precious and wonderfull; a blessing.
I have this because I made it a priority. I made time to find a sangha and make time to keep and support it. It's important to me. I would not have a path were it not for that most precious jewel of refuge.
The thing is, we all spend our time the way we see fit. More often than not when we say we don't have time, what it really means is we don't make the time. A day in the life is the same length for all of us. We all prioritize. Our priorities differ.
I think it's good to have diversity in one's life; wherever one can find it.
No one in my family is particularly religious. My sister has done Buddhist practices with me and attended meditation centres but probably more out of desperation with depression/delusions. My mother sometimes blesses me with a New Age 'Marks and Spencer' blessing 'St Michael to the left, St Michael to the right, St Michael Above, St Michael in front, St Michael Behind'
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St_Michael_(brand)
This is a watered down 'lesser pentagram invocation' that I have done that calls on all four Arch Angels.
http://m.wikihow.com/Perform-the-Lesser-Banishing-Ritual-of-the-Pentagram
The M&s comes from my Grandmother who followed this group
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_Universal_and_Triumphant
. . . what were you thinking granny . . .
. . .It is enough to turn one to dharma . . .
Whenever one is directed to a "new age" religion on a wiki page there always seems to be a Controversy section!
That's a shame. Indeed. And what I've found interesting is that if the person I talk to is genuinely interested in just sharing their spirituality (vs. debating doctrine), it can be a very enriching experience for both parties. Quakers? Interesting! What have you gleaned from your conversations with them?
And by the way, I wasn't looking for a recommendation - just fuelling conversation.
Sometimes, I think I am very lucky to be here where I am living. There are many Buddhist temples I can go to, Theravada, Mahayana, you name it. There's one beautiful one up the hill, nestled among the lush tropical forest
http://sasanarakkha.org/about.html and you get to 'party' there during Vesak or Kathina. Then, there is also a Tzu Chi Branch not very far away and other places too, one which teaches children Di Zhi Gui. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Di_Zi_Gui
Since you have part of your roots in this part of the world, you'd most certainly know that there are many Hindus and Muslims here. So, there are many churches, mosques and Indian temples too. I know some Indians who are Hindus, Malays who are Muslims but no, they are never Dhamma friends. Talking about religion sometimes could be a very sensitive matter. People become very protective over what they believe in. Some could be overzealous and try to convert you; not that I am afraid of being converted. It is enough that we can have a friendly chat.
Now, as for dhamma friends who are Buddhists - Not every Buddhist is a joy to be with. A Buddhist can just be as a pervert as anyone else and even if he or she is not, one just must click together to go along. When you are so spoilt for choice, sometimes you don't really care and you don't learn to appreciate.
Now that you have asked - no, I don't think I have any dhamma friends who are Buddhists . At the moment, I just have you. A virtual Dhamma friend. That serves me enough at the moment.
I find it very uplifting to be around people that are uplifted by their commitments, convictions, and love of arts and sciences of all kinds. The greater the diversity, the more interesting life is. I can find no real or genuine moral compass within myself, by myself, and bent on only the ideas I accept at the moment. No, It's all about Love, about accepting and embracing any possible good thing that may happen if ones heart be so attuned. For myself, I learn so much from others that I'll want wider exposure, not narrower.
Are we Buddhists first or people first?
http://www.buddhistpeacefellowship.org/
One of the two people I mentioned above from the
Temple that I lost touch with just sent me a lovely e-mail
today, reaching out and sending love!
What a nice surprise!
Gratitude for friendships.