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Is there dharma out there for cognitive dissonance?
raywhite
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It seems that we are taught to relax, set aside expectations and 'be', and not how to do it...
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There is meditative advice on how to relax. For the latter it takes ages of practice. You need to identify it when you do have expectations. Then the clarity of mind, once you identify the expectations, will analyze what expectations are. So meditate and notice your expectations.
@raywhite
Having two different beliefs, ideas, or values cause suffering not because they are different but because of ones attachments to them.
See 4 NT & 8 FP for the "how to" instructions for dealing with cognitive dissonance.
We all have our own inbuilt mechanism for dealing with Cognitive Dissonance..its called the breath.
Cognitions will only ever be... cognitions.
All of it.
As relative beings and absolutely enlightened beings with Buddha Nature we are in a condition of we might say cognitive dissonance, dukkha or paradoxically awake whilst 'asleep'.
What to do? There are different ways or gates to the solution for example:
You've heard of meditation? That's how.
Agreed.
Meditation of returning to the breath teaches you how to do that. To return and just "be with the breath", is an enlightening experience. 
My teacher compares it to learning how to ride a bicycle. You really can't explain to someone how to balance on a bicycle. You have to get on the bicycle yourself and ride it to really know how. 
The entirety of the Dharma teaches one how to do it. It is up to each of us to have the discipline to study and practice (which includes meditation for most of us) to make it happen. Buddhadharma is harder that way than some other religions where the heads tell you what you have to do and believe, and then you will get what they say you will get. Buddhism puts it all on you. You and you alone are responsible for getting there, and knowing how to get there, means letting go of the expectation of getting there (confusing as that is, it makes more sense as you practice more). I think Buddhism does a pretty good job of explaining how to do each of those things you mentioned. But it isn't much like putting together a piece of Ikea furniture, where you have a blueprint with step by step directions and at the end, viola, you have what you are hoping for. The steps come from all sorts of different directions, and as they come together, your idea of the end product actually completely falls apart, and that is what should happen, I think.
Yes...I had to look it up. hahaha
What is cognitive dissonance? ......From what I read, sounds like a case of sayin' one thing and doin' another. Then that makes guilt and shame....then it leads back around to fear...the cycle of 'being' false or pretending continues...
What's causing the contradiction? Something you need to let go of.....??
Something your holding onto....??
Do you meditate now?
BTW: I love this forum and this thread is why!
I liked and understood the responses when I didn't even know what the question was!
haha. reminds me of what @Jayantha says...Metta is the answer...what's the question?
Meditation, 4 and 8 is the answer...what was the question? ..
..
That's what I was going to say. What little experience I've had indicates there isn't a human issue I can come up with that isn't addressed in the Dharma. Of course there are modern contrivances not mentioned, the Buddha did not have to worry about the carbon footprint of his SUV. With a little contemplation, modernity is easily translated into it's constituents in the Dharma. Then again, my faith is enormous
Sometimes, at other times cognitive dissonance can have the effect of paralysing us so that we actually do nothing...we just freeze.
Find your wishes in life. Write them down and think about why you want that wish. Don't be divided between a self who wants to enjoy the wrong thing and a self who punishes for indulging (etc).