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HamsakagoosewhispererPolishing the 'just so'Veteran
I've witnessed a lot of people die. They don't 'face' death. It takes them. Most of them let go so the taking is cooperative, and others just get taken.
It doesn't get much more 'who cares what you want, think, believe or intend' when you are dying.
@Hamsaka said:
I've witnessed a lot of people die. They don't 'face' death. It takes them. Most of them let go so the taking is cooperative, and others just get taken.
It doesn't get much more 'who cares what you want, think, believe or intend' when you are dying.
Well, I agree that @Hamsaka makes a valid point. I have seen some die also.
But people can make some choices ahead of time. For instance, I have a medical surrogate defined, and also have a do-not-resuscitate order in my wallet, signed by me and witnesses. I'm telling folks not to advocate that extraordinary means be used for me, or on "my" behalf.
There was a man walking across an open field, when suddenly a tiger appeared and began to give chase. The man began to run, but the tiger was closing in. As he approached a cliff at the edge of the field, the man grabbed a vine and jumped over the cliff. Holding on as tight as he could, he looked up and saw the angry tiger prowling out of range ten feet above him. He looked down. In the gully below, there were two tigers also angry and prowling. He had to wait it out. He looked up again and saw that two mice, one white, the other black, had come out of the bushes and had begun gnawing on the vine, his lifeline. As they chewed the vine thinner and thinner, he knew that he could break at any time. Then, he saw a single strawberry growing just an arms length away. Holding the vine with one hand, he reached out, picked the strawberry, and put it in his mouth. It was delicious. http://workingwithinsight.wordpress.com/2006/08/29/the-tigers-and-the-strawberry-story/
Today is a good day to die
Klingon saying :wave: .
@Straight_Man said:
Well, I agree that Hamsaka makes a valid point. I have seen some die also.
But people can make some choices ahead of time. For instance, I have a medical surrogate defined, and also have a do-not-resuscitate order in my wallet, signed by me and witnesses. I'm telling folks not to advocate that extraordinary means be used for me, or on "my" behalf.
While I'm still here, I didn't think I was going to be. Back in Oct. 2012, I posted the following in a recovery forum that I frequent:
In the wee hours of the morning on Thursday I found myself in the emergency room at the hospital after work. It was my heart. Twenty years clean has healed a lot of the physical problems brought on by active addiction but there is some wreckage that can't be resolved and the damage done to my heart falls into that category.
This was my third heart attack and I thought this one was going to be the last. Funny thing though, as I lay there with machines hooked up everywhere, I started running through my day in what I figured was going to be my last tenth step (daily inventory) and I realized something.
I didn't wake up that morning in prison or under a bridge; instead I woke up in my comfortable bed, in my beautiful house, next to the woman I love. I was able to tell her I loved her, I called my father like I do every morning and tell him that I love him too. I called two newcomers in recovery throughout the day and told them that I was thinking of them. I went to my job and worked an honest days work trying to keep food on the table and care for my family.
At the end of the day, faced with what could have been my final tenth step, I had not a single regret or anything that I felt that I had to make amends for. As I looked back on my day I realized that there was nothing about my day that I would have changed. I had lived it exactly how I would have if I had known that it was going to be my last day.
That is the gift of this program - to think that the wretched shell of a person who crawled into this program back in 92 would have ever journeyed to a place where I could live my day without a single regret is beyond comprehension. I survived of course, but you know, it would have been a good day to die. Since that turned out to not be the case, it's a good day to live too.
There was a man walking across an open field, when suddenly a tiger appeared and began to give chase. The man began to run, but the tiger was closing in. As he approached a cliff at the edge of the field, the man grabbed a vine and jumped over the cliff. Holding on as tight as he could, he looked up and saw the angry tiger prowling out of range ten feet above him. He looked down. In the gully below, there were two tigers also angry and prowling. He had to wait it out. He looked up again and saw that two mice, one white, the other black, had come out of the bushes and had begun gnawing on the vine, his lifeline. As they chewed the vine thinner and thinner, he knew that he could break at any time. Then, he saw a single strawberry growing just an arms length away. Holding the vine with one hand, he reached out, picked the strawberry, and put it in his mouth. It was delicious.
(Alternate ending)
..But he didn't realise he was allergic to strawberries, causing him to vomit suddenly and violently. His vast torrent of puke rained down on the unsuspecting tigers. The puke was so plentiful it caused a huge lake which swept the tigers away, but before he could feel safe the vine broke and down he went. Fortunately he could swim and therefore swam to the shore of the puke lake to safety.
Moral 1: Never trust mice.
Moral 2: Allergies can save your life.
Moral 3: There's more wisdom in Roadrunner cartoons than you think.
It was a struggle this week. We had a meeting with a realtor to sell their house. They are a 2 hour drive from us so it is difficult for my wife and I to help them.We also need to find a house closer to us for my mother for when she's alone. Couple that with legal stuff like power of attorney and banking issues it as emotionally challenging. It's amazing how attached to possessions we can be even when facing your own death.
I think, I would be really happy to die. I don't know what lies ahead after death but I feel peaceful when I think about death. Not to be morbid or anything but.. having experience a very traumatic and painful life already I can honestly say if it were to continue on in a similar manner or even if my life were to end tomorrow I would sigh some sort of relief. There may be some fear of what is to come but man.. would I be happy to finally be able to REST.
Just thought I'd let everyone know, after 9 days of hospice care my father passed away last Saturday, 15 months after his diagnosis with esophogeal cancer. I was fortunate to spend those last 9 days with him as difficult as it was.The local Tibetan Buddhist center is doing a dedication of merit for him tonight. I just needed to resurrect this thread and let you all know.
today morning a thought came to my mind to ask you all - how do you prepare for death? or how do you do that practice which is referred to as - die before you die? When I opened this website today, I saw this thread, which was kind of relating to it.
How will you face death?
My answer is I do not know. But when I was thinking about it just now, a thought came to my mind, that how we will know we are going to die - it can be the case that we can be in great pain if suppose our leg broke, hand broke, head smashed and bleeding, but still I think we will be feeling pain at that moment, so I think we will not know if we are going to die. We can think that we are going to die, but I think there is no certainty to that, because it can happen that an ambulance is immediately called and the doctor treats us within time so that we come out of danger.
So the question how will you face death - in a way, does not stand on its own, as we will not know when we are going to die, we can be feeling a lot of physical pain in the body or becoming unconscious of some of the body parts, but I think since death is a process as when the heart stops, oxygen does not flow to brain, which stops the brain and i think currently a person is declared dead when the brain of that person stops working, so all this is going to take some time, may be half minute to 1 minute or may be few seconds (i do not know this thing, but still till the moment we die, we will be alive and so even though we might still be able to think that we are going to die, at those last moments also we will not be knowing when we are going to die. So when we will be there till the skandhas are alive, we will not face death and when all the skandhas or the five aggregates finally die, then we also will not be there to face because we had already died and the moment of our death was in the past. So I think in any situation, we shall not know our death, even though still we shall die.
So a better option shall be to live each moment of our life as mindfully and as skillfully as we can. I am sounding like a complete hypocrite, as I am an ignorant person having all the defilements of lust, anger, greed, hatred, attachment and ego inside me.
Even though today I was thinking of asking you all about how to prepare for death, but the above thoughts came to my mind just now, so thought of sharing with you all.
But if you find whatever I have written above is junk, then I am sorry for wasting your time in reading my this post, so please feel free to neglect whatever I have written above.
@vinlyn really, shouldn't we all face things that way? One may not have a cancer diagnosis, but there are no guarantees. As I read somewhere today, we are all dying from the moment we take our first breath. Just some people have an idea of when it could come, and others don't. My best friend's dad was given 6 months to live. 20 years ago. He is still teaching, still sharing his passion, still doing well. Many others have perished in that time.
Well, the night my Defibrillator went off three times in a row almost(shocked me majorly to handle bad rhythum of heart that did not stop on its own or after the first two shocks) I remember thinking that if I did not relax I could die but was eerily calm also about my chances for a continued life. I remember being accepting that if "now was my time" so be it but did not want to die per se.
I told the emergency dispatcher to send a medical unit equipped for heart patients-- they sent the rescue fire truck also, and a police car, all sirens on. I then realized that if the device had not shocked me during the time it took them to arrive that I would live probably and was somewhat happy that that was the case.
So, if I go silent remember me as a shy man who likes helping folks please. Meanwhile I will post from time to time.
@Straight_Man said:
Well, the night my Defibrillator went off three times in a row...
Yes, that is what I am talking about. Fortunately my heart condition is well controlled now -- although it scared me a little the other day after shoveling snow -- but I remember when I first began having issues there were nights I really wondered if it was the end.
@Straight_Man said:
So, if I go silent remember me as a shy man who likes helping folks please. Meanwhile I will post from time to time.
I wish you would post more often, you have important real life experiences of mental health, near death experiences (so to speak) and being shy and helpful might be sometimes incompatible. We are all friends here, some of the unknown lurkers may need your encouragement to post . . .
The nice thing about my defibrillator is it records the episodes it intervenes in. So, the medical tech can pull a printed report from a computer that sets up a radio conference with the device in my chest using a thing on the end of a wire. Then the doctor can look at the report and see exactly what happened from the device's POV and know what to do from the report and his or her knowledge. The computer used at the hospital printed 33 pages of report about my long episode. Afib is what the doctors said.
With my own health problems, my sisters cancer and my mum nearly dying recently I've been reflecting on death quite a lot the last few weeks. I was thinking about my own death and actually I felt OK about it, which is something I've never experienced before. I've had a full and interesting life and done most of the things I wanted to do, some wonderful experiences.
Is this kind of acceptance a stage of life you go through or something? It's not something we talk enough about in western society really.
I think about death all the time @Jeffry
It is always present if not here then somewhere else. All change is death and birth.
Many people get surprised when death shows itself in their lives. And change their diet (well diet might be compulsory if you have a condition), friends, work, location etc in a heartbeat.
It is as if they did not know that they could die before then. And it becomes a central part of their worldview which is good since it is a good companion to have.
Others ignore it or try to ignore it. To forget the memories of war and death. It is amazing how easy it is to forget such things and get lulled into immortality by everyday life.
So some people manage to get surprised several times in life by death.
I think that the moment you forget you can die in the next is the moment you have given in to moha.
Sometimes it feels like the sole purpose of living is to die. And in between birth and death we die a million small deaths. Changes in work, divorce, children leave, others die and/or leave us.
If there is something I would wish it is that I have time to raise my kids before I die.
@SpinyNorman said:
With my own health problems, my sisters cancer and my mum nearly dying recently I've been reflecting on death quite a lot the last few weeks. I was thinking about my own death and actually I felt OK about it, which is something I've never experienced before. I've had a full and interesting life and done most of the things I wanted to do, some wonderful experiences.
Is this kind of acceptance a stage of life you go through or something? It's not something we talk enough about in western society really.
Well, in a sense YES, in America, especially in the state I live in(Florida), where there are a lot of older folk. Maybe in a sense, yes, older folk where I live have grown to accept that life ends and that you do not get to choose when. Maybe they just think that they have had their turn at life, for better or worse. So acceptance and/or resignation yes.
Note there is a newer trend in the US , some states have laws allowing for doctor assisted suicide now, and some folks who have poor quality of life are taking advantage of those laws. Some other countries have allowed this for some time now.
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silverIn the beginning there was nothing, and then it exploded.USA, Left coast.Veteran
When you stop to think of it, there are many options, should we not just enter some sort of total oblivion - which would be a nice break from all the kinds of pain, y'know. If we get to live another human life, the thought just crossed my mind, that it could be a new opportunity to help more people more often - for one thing. Actually, it will be tough to know how we will react to our death if we see it coming.
"Death smiles at us all; all a man can do is smile back."
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
That would be my attitude in a nutshell, @SpinyNorman . I've bored people rigid here, I'm sure, with my account of how Yama and I are cultivating 'Buddy-hood'....
@vinlyn said:
I'd like to repeat what I said 8 months ago when this thread began:
Unless you've sat there or laid there and thought, "This might very well be my last night to live", you don't have the foggiest.
It's funny you say that. I had a pretty severe car accident on the way to my father's death. I never gave my own potential death a thought until after I got out of the car.
Maybe it's because I've been in situation where I might die (Iraq & Afghanistan). I think of death as my next adventure, however with that being said that doesn't mean I will not be scared when face with the situation.
@SpinyNorman it seems to be that way. But even older people can be taken by surprise. My maternal grandma was 72ish and was in good health. Then she was in a minor car accident and was taken to the hospital for precautions and when there, they found she had cancer throughout her body. She died the next day! Despite feeling completely fine up to the point of her diagnosis.
My paternal grandmother is 89 and while not in the best health, does ok. She lives alone in her home next door to us. But she has kind of surpassed the point of accepting death. She is getting depressed because literally all of her friends are gone. She is the last original of the old folks from the main families who settled this town and she feels very alone. The death of her friends no longer brings sadness or grief so much as relief for their release from suffering. She is waiting for her turn and is frustrated it hasn't come yet. Almost every day, she calls in the morning and she says "well, the big one didn't come while I was asleep. Again. I sure hope that is how I go." But it's not an obsessive thought, it's just such a part of her daily life. She is a Christian and is waiting to be rejoined with her husband who died 30 years ago. She went in for surgery 3 years ago where she had a 50-50 chance to survive, and was rather disappointed to wake up in the hospital. Strange how things work. She is ready to die but the opportunity to let go hasn't been presented. My other grandma seemed not ready at all, but the second the opportunity presented, off she went!
I am not afraid of my own death. I'm not even terribly afraid of suffering before hand, if that is what comes. The fear surrounding death is more one of worry for my children and wanting them to be taken care of. For older people, if they had children, mostly their kids are settled and finally they feel their job isn't so much to parent them and they feel ok leaving them. My mom is 59 and that's where she is at. She is in good health and very active, not ready at all to die. But ok and accepting if that is what comes. Mostly because she knows her family is ok, and will be ok. That peace of mind is hard to come by when your children are young and so needy for parental love and support.
@karasti said: That peace of mind is hard to come by when your children are young and so needy for parental love and support.
Yes, very true. I think it's also true when one has elderly parents who can be almost as dependent as children. One of the positive things that has come out of the recent saga with my mum is that she's now in a nursing home and will be safe and looked after, also her sister has now taken on the role of main carer so it feels like a great weight lifted off me. I've been having some health problems the last year, and there has been that underlying anxiety, "If something happens to me, what on earth will happen to her?"
For sure, yes. Definitely a circle that comes around with children taking care of elderly parents.
I just ran across this and found it interesting. It is an article about Ashoka Mukpo (Trunpga's wife's son) and his dealing with his ebola diagnosis and recovery. he talks about his practice and what worked and didn't work when he thought he might die. http://www.lionsroar.com/ebola-survivor-ashoka-mukpo-knew-practice/
@Victorious said:
Straight_Man I wouldnt mind living where assisted suicide was available. Maybe I will make my last trip to such a place.
Is this the Buddhist equivalent of a suicide bomber, where we go to a deserted cave or similar and blow ourselves up? Perhaps with a sign for carnivorous animals, 'Yummy bits this way' . . .
I was hoping more states would make a push after the story of the lady who move to Oregon just for the right to die with dignity. I agree, it should be the right of any person. Another area where religion intrudes into our lives uninvited and many republicans support it despite their "Less government in our lives!" approach. They want the government in your life at birth and death, but nothing in between, lol. Anyhow, didn't mean to bring politics into it. I was hoping that more states might bring it to the legislative table. And yes, you must establish residency, though in some states that's as simple as getting a drivers license so it's not necessarily something that takes a lot of time, but yes, you cannot just go there and get the needed prescription. Also, I think you have to go through some required counseling and some other related things as well.
@lobster said: > Is this the Buddhist equivalent of a suicide bomber, where we go to a deserted cave or similar and blow ourselves up? Perhaps with a sign for carnivorous animals, 'Yummy bits this way' . . .
I guess you could use a meditation timer to detonate the explosives....
Mind you what a way to enter the Bardho . . . I am on my way to the Hell realms anyway . . . who wants to sit on a lotus drinking soma or whatever the Pureland bound get up to . . . Devils to rescue, disappointed 'Je suis un Charlie' wannabe martyrs, wayward Potential Buddhas to show some compassion for . . . Hell is where the compassion action is . . .
'Let my people go', as Bodhi Moses said. With a bit of luck he will be there, not sure what to tell him about his tablets, which somebody lost. Talk about careless . . .
I think when it's my time, if I get warning, I won't be brave - I'll take all the drugs available (and I hear there's some good ones) - and probably ease myself out of life on a drug and (maybe) alcohol fuelled haze of intoxication.
Oh, and I'll definitely try some psychedelics on my death bed too. That's the big one on the death bed bucket list.
For some reason, the alcoholic part of me is quite looking forward to it, which is worrying.
@Tosh said:> I think when it's my time, if I get warning, I won't be brave - I'll take all the drugs available (and I hear there's some good ones) - and probably ease myself out of life on a drug and (maybe) alcohol fuelled haze of intoxication.
I think that's entirely rational, I was talking to a friend about this very thing yesterday.
I certainly wouldn't want to end up like my mum, reverting to a child-like state and being totally dependent on others.
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
My H and I have often 'joked', "if I lose my marbles - fekkin' shoot me."....
Comments
In that case I have added an awesome too...
Awww thanks guys
I've witnessed a lot of people die. They don't 'face' death. It takes them. Most of them let go so the taking is cooperative, and others just get taken.
It doesn't get much more 'who cares what you want, think, believe or intend' when you are dying.
Dhammachick, I'll be thinking of you when I chant/meditate, I mean it.
Thank you @Eugene _ /\ _
I think @Hamsaka makes a really good point.
Well, I agree that @Hamsaka makes a valid point. I have seen some die also.
But people can make some choices ahead of time. For instance, I have a medical surrogate defined, and also have a do-not-resuscitate order in my wallet, signed by me and witnesses. I'm telling folks not to advocate that extraordinary means be used for me, or on "my" behalf.
The Tigers and the Strawberry
There was a man walking across an open field, when suddenly a tiger appeared and began to give chase. The man began to run, but the tiger was closing in. As he approached a cliff at the edge of the field, the man grabbed a vine and jumped over the cliff. Holding on as tight as he could, he looked up and saw the angry tiger prowling out of range ten feet above him. He looked down. In the gully below, there were two tigers also angry and prowling. He had to wait it out. He looked up again and saw that two mice, one white, the other black, had come out of the bushes and had begun gnawing on the vine, his lifeline. As they chewed the vine thinner and thinner, he knew that he could break at any time. Then, he saw a single strawberry growing just an arms length away. Holding the vine with one hand, he reached out, picked the strawberry, and put it in his mouth. It was delicious.
http://workingwithinsight.wordpress.com/2006/08/29/the-tigers-and-the-strawberry-story/
Today is a good day to die
Klingon saying :wave: .
It's strawberry season sans tigers. ::drool::
I told that to my mom and she said to give the mice the strawberry to distract them.
I have a plan (or two in place as well).
While I'm still here, I didn't think I was going to be. Back in Oct. 2012, I posted the following in a recovery forum that I frequent:
In the wee hours of the morning on Thursday I found myself in the emergency room at the hospital after work. It was my heart. Twenty years clean has healed a lot of the physical problems brought on by active addiction but there is some wreckage that can't be resolved and the damage done to my heart falls into that category.
This was my third heart attack and I thought this one was going to be the last. Funny thing though, as I lay there with machines hooked up everywhere, I started running through my day in what I figured was going to be my last tenth step (daily inventory) and I realized something.
I didn't wake up that morning in prison or under a bridge; instead I woke up in my comfortable bed, in my beautiful house, next to the woman I love. I was able to tell her I loved her, I called my father like I do every morning and tell him that I love him too. I called two newcomers in recovery throughout the day and told them that I was thinking of them. I went to my job and worked an honest days work trying to keep food on the table and care for my family.
At the end of the day, faced with what could have been my final tenth step, I had not a single regret or anything that I felt that I had to make amends for. As I looked back on my day I realized that there was nothing about my day that I would have changed. I had lived it exactly how I would have if I had known that it was going to be my last day.
That is the gift of this program - to think that the wretched shell of a person who crawled into this program back in 92 would have ever journeyed to a place where I could live my day without a single regret is beyond comprehension. I survived of course, but you know, it would have been a good day to die. Since that turned out to not be the case, it's a good day to live too.
(Alternate ending)
..But he didn't realise he was allergic to strawberries, causing him to vomit suddenly and violently. His vast torrent of puke rained down on the unsuspecting tigers. The puke was so plentiful it caused a huge lake which swept the tigers away, but before he could feel safe the vine broke and down he went. Fortunately he could swim and therefore swam to the shore of the puke lake to safety.
Moral 1: Never trust mice.
Moral 2: Allergies can save your life.
Moral 3: There's more wisdom in Roadrunner cartoons than you think.
@shak - how is he?
It was a struggle this week. We had a meeting with a realtor to sell their house. They are a 2 hour drive from us so it is difficult for my wife and I to help them.We also need to find a house closer to us for my mother for when she's alone. Couple that with legal stuff like power of attorney and banking issues it as emotionally challenging. It's amazing how attached to possessions we can be even when facing your own death.
I think, I would be really happy to die. I don't know what lies ahead after death but I feel peaceful when I think about death. Not to be morbid or anything but.. having experience a very traumatic and painful life already I can honestly say if it were to continue on in a similar manner or even if my life were to end tomorrow I would sigh some sort of relief. There may be some fear of what is to come but man.. would I be happy to finally be able to REST.
Just thought I'd let everyone know, after 9 days of hospice care my father passed away last Saturday, 15 months after his diagnosis with esophogeal cancer. I was fortunate to spend those last 9 days with him as difficult as it was.The local Tibetan Buddhist center is doing a dedication of merit for him tonight. I just needed to resurrect this thread and let you all know.
@Shak: May your father be at peace within himself. Metta to your father and all sentient beings.
May all beings be at peace within themselves.
I'd like to repeat what I said 8 months ago when this thread began:
Unless you've sat there or laid there and thought, "This might very well be my last night to live", you don't have the foggiest.
today morning a thought came to my mind to ask you all - how do you prepare for death? or how do you do that practice which is referred to as - die before you die? When I opened this website today, I saw this thread, which was kind of relating to it.
How will you face death?
My answer is I do not know. But when I was thinking about it just now, a thought came to my mind, that how we will know we are going to die - it can be the case that we can be in great pain if suppose our leg broke, hand broke, head smashed and bleeding, but still I think we will be feeling pain at that moment, so I think we will not know if we are going to die. We can think that we are going to die, but I think there is no certainty to that, because it can happen that an ambulance is immediately called and the doctor treats us within time so that we come out of danger.
So the question how will you face death - in a way, does not stand on its own, as we will not know when we are going to die, we can be feeling a lot of physical pain in the body or becoming unconscious of some of the body parts, but I think since death is a process as when the heart stops, oxygen does not flow to brain, which stops the brain and i think currently a person is declared dead when the brain of that person stops working, so all this is going to take some time, may be half minute to 1 minute or may be few seconds (i do not know this thing, but still till the moment we die, we will be alive and so even though we might still be able to think that we are going to die, at those last moments also we will not be knowing when we are going to die. So when we will be there till the skandhas are alive, we will not face death and when all the skandhas or the five aggregates finally die, then we also will not be there to face because we had already died and the moment of our death was in the past. So I think in any situation, we shall not know our death, even though still we shall die.
So a better option shall be to live each moment of our life as mindfully and as skillfully as we can. I am sounding like a complete hypocrite, as I am an ignorant person having all the defilements of lust, anger, greed, hatred, attachment and ego inside me.
Even though today I was thinking of asking you all about how to prepare for death, but the above thoughts came to my mind just now, so thought of sharing with you all.
But if you find whatever I have written above is junk, then I am sorry for wasting your time in reading my this post, so please feel free to neglect whatever I have written above.
@vinlyn really, shouldn't we all face things that way? One may not have a cancer diagnosis, but there are no guarantees. As I read somewhere today, we are all dying from the moment we take our first breath. Just some people have an idea of when it could come, and others don't. My best friend's dad was given 6 months to live. 20 years ago. He is still teaching, still sharing his passion, still doing well. Many others have perished in that time.
Well, the night my Defibrillator went off three times in a row almost(shocked me majorly to handle bad rhythum of heart that did not stop on its own or after the first two shocks) I remember thinking that if I did not relax I could die but was eerily calm also about my chances for a continued life. I remember being accepting that if "now was my time" so be it but did not want to die per se.
I told the emergency dispatcher to send a medical unit equipped for heart patients-- they sent the rescue fire truck also, and a police car, all sirens on. I then realized that if the device had not shocked me during the time it took them to arrive that I would live probably and was somewhat happy that that was the case.
So, if I go silent remember me as a shy man who likes helping folks please. Meanwhile I will post from time to time.
Yes, that is what I am talking about. Fortunately my heart condition is well controlled now -- although it scared me a little the other day after shoveling snow -- but I remember when I first began having issues there were nights I really wondered if it was the end.
I wish you would post more often, you have important real life experiences of mental health, near death experiences (so to speak) and being shy and helpful might be sometimes incompatible. We are all friends here, some of the unknown lurkers may need your encouragement to post . . .
The nice thing about my defibrillator is it records the episodes it intervenes in. So, the medical tech can pull a printed report from a computer that sets up a radio conference with the device in my chest using a thing on the end of a wire. Then the doctor can look at the report and see exactly what happened from the device's POV and know what to do from the report and his or her knowledge. The computer used at the hospital printed 33 pages of report about my long episode. Afib is what the doctors said.
With my own health problems, my sisters cancer and my mum nearly dying recently I've been reflecting on death quite a lot the last few weeks. I was thinking about my own death and actually I felt OK about it, which is something I've never experienced before. I've had a full and interesting life and done most of the things I wanted to do, some wonderful experiences.
Is this kind of acceptance a stage of life you go through or something? It's not something we talk enough about in western society really.
The thought of it doesn't bother as much as it would had I not studied into Buddhism.
A big yes on that!
I think about death all the time @Jeffry
It is always present if not here then somewhere else. All change is death and birth.
Many people get surprised when death shows itself in their lives. And change their diet (well diet might be compulsory if you have a condition), friends, work, location etc in a heartbeat.
It is as if they did not know that they could die before then. And it becomes a central part of their worldview which is good since it is a good companion to have.
Others ignore it or try to ignore it. To forget the memories of war and death. It is amazing how easy it is to forget such things and get lulled into immortality by everyday life.
So some people manage to get surprised several times in life by death.
I think that the moment you forget you can die in the next is the moment you have given in to moha.
Sometimes it feels like the sole purpose of living is to die. And in between birth and death we die a million small deaths. Changes in work, divorce, children leave, others die and/or leave us.
If there is something I would wish it is that I have time to raise my kids before I die.
/Victor
Well, in a sense YES, in America, especially in the state I live in(Florida), where there are a lot of older folk. Maybe in a sense, yes, older folk where I live have grown to accept that life ends and that you do not get to choose when. Maybe they just think that they have had their turn at life, for better or worse. So acceptance and/or resignation yes.
Note there is a newer trend in the US , some states have laws allowing for doctor assisted suicide now, and some folks who have poor quality of life are taking advantage of those laws. Some other countries have allowed this for some time now.
When you stop to think of it, there are many options, should we not just enter some sort of total oblivion - which would be a nice break from all the kinds of pain, y'know. If we get to live another human life, the thought just crossed my mind, that it could be a new opportunity to help more people more often - for one thing. Actually, it will be tough to know how we will react to our death if we see it coming.
I'm reminded of a line from the film "Gladiator":
"Death smiles at us all; all a man can do is smile back."
That would be my attitude in a nutshell, @SpinyNorman . I've bored people rigid here, I'm sure, with my account of how Yama and I are cultivating 'Buddy-hood'....
It's funny you say that. I had a pretty severe car accident on the way to my father's death. I never gave my own potential death a thought until after I got out of the car.
Maybe it's because I've been in situation where I might die (Iraq & Afghanistan). I think of death as my next adventure, however with that being said that doesn't mean I will not be scared when face with the situation.
@SpinyNorman it seems to be that way. But even older people can be taken by surprise. My maternal grandma was 72ish and was in good health. Then she was in a minor car accident and was taken to the hospital for precautions and when there, they found she had cancer throughout her body. She died the next day! Despite feeling completely fine up to the point of her diagnosis.
My paternal grandmother is 89 and while not in the best health, does ok. She lives alone in her home next door to us. But she has kind of surpassed the point of accepting death. She is getting depressed because literally all of her friends are gone. She is the last original of the old folks from the main families who settled this town and she feels very alone. The death of her friends no longer brings sadness or grief so much as relief for their release from suffering. She is waiting for her turn and is frustrated it hasn't come yet. Almost every day, she calls in the morning and she says "well, the big one didn't come while I was asleep. Again. I sure hope that is how I go." But it's not an obsessive thought, it's just such a part of her daily life. She is a Christian and is waiting to be rejoined with her husband who died 30 years ago. She went in for surgery 3 years ago where she had a 50-50 chance to survive, and was rather disappointed to wake up in the hospital. Strange how things work. She is ready to die but the opportunity to let go hasn't been presented. My other grandma seemed not ready at all, but the second the opportunity presented, off she went!
I am not afraid of my own death. I'm not even terribly afraid of suffering before hand, if that is what comes. The fear surrounding death is more one of worry for my children and wanting them to be taken care of. For older people, if they had children, mostly their kids are settled and finally they feel their job isn't so much to parent them and they feel ok leaving them. My mom is 59 and that's where she is at. She is in good health and very active, not ready at all to die. But ok and accepting if that is what comes. Mostly because she knows her family is ok, and will be ok. That peace of mind is hard to come by when your children are young and so needy for parental love and support.
Yes, very true. I think it's also true when one has elderly parents who can be almost as dependent as children. One of the positive things that has come out of the recent saga with my mum is that she's now in a nursing home and will be safe and looked after, also her sister has now taken on the role of main carer so it feels like a great weight lifted off me. I've been having some health problems the last year, and there has been that underlying anxiety, "If something happens to me, what on earth will happen to her?"
For sure, yes. Definitely a circle that comes around with children taking care of elderly parents.
I just ran across this and found it interesting. It is an article about Ashoka Mukpo (Trunpga's wife's son) and his dealing with his ebola diagnosis and recovery. he talks about his practice and what worked and didn't work when he thought he might die.
http://www.lionsroar.com/ebola-survivor-ashoka-mukpo-knew-practice/
To mis-paraphrase Confucious, we don't know how to live, why know how to die?
Wouldn't work. At least here in the States there are residency requirements.
But I think it should be everybody's right.
Is this the Buddhist equivalent of a suicide bomber, where we go to a deserted cave or similar and blow ourselves up? Perhaps with a sign for carnivorous animals, 'Yummy bits this way' . . .
I was hoping more states would make a push after the story of the lady who move to Oregon just for the right to die with dignity. I agree, it should be the right of any person. Another area where religion intrudes into our lives uninvited and many republicans support it despite their "Less government in our lives!" approach. They want the government in your life at birth and death, but nothing in between, lol. Anyhow, didn't mean to bring politics into it. I was hoping that more states might bring it to the legislative table. And yes, you must establish residency, though in some states that's as simple as getting a drivers license so it's not necessarily something that takes a lot of time, but yes, you cannot just go there and get the needed prescription. Also, I think you have to go through some required counseling and some other related things as well.
I have very seriously investigated this too.
I guess you could use a meditation timer to detonate the explosives....
^^^ We iz bad Buddhists!
Mind you what a way to enter the Bardho . . . I am on my way to the Hell realms anyway . . . who wants to sit on a lotus drinking soma or whatever the Pureland bound get up to . . . Devils to rescue, disappointed 'Je suis un Charlie' wannabe martyrs, wayward Potential Buddhas to show some compassion for . . . Hell is where the compassion action is . . .
'Let my people go', as Bodhi Moses said. With a bit of luck he will be there, not sure what to tell him about his tablets, which somebody lost. Talk about careless . . .
Death! Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!
What fun!
don't take more than two tablets!!!
...And if there's no improvement, call me in the morning!
I think when it's my time, if I get warning, I won't be brave - I'll take all the drugs available (and I hear there's some good ones) - and probably ease myself out of life on a drug and (maybe) alcohol fuelled haze of intoxication.
Oh, and I'll definitely try some psychedelics on my death bed too. That's the big one on the death bed bucket list.
For some reason, the alcoholic part of me is quite looking forward to it, which is worrying.
I think that's entirely rational, I was talking to a friend about this very thing yesterday.
I certainly wouldn't want to end up like my mum, reverting to a child-like state and being totally dependent on others.
My H and I have often 'joked', "if I lose my marbles - fekkin' shoot me."....