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Freedom from cravings.
Skeeterkb
Explorer
I would appreciate insights of how to be freed from tobacco use and also overeating. I know it has to do with craving at the core.
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That's a tough one - what would make you stop smoking today and stop over-eating?
For instance, if you knew your next cigarette was the one that was going to cause you lung cancer, or if you continued eating the way you were was going to make you diabetic.... and lets say because you were a smoker, the likelihood of you ending up having a heart attack before you were 50 or needing an amputation of your leg because of the combination of diabetes and cardiovascular disease brought on by your habits; well I know what I would be doing...
metta
I am a type 2 diabetic and I am 58 years old, so far having no terrible consequences. I know intellectually that all you shared is likely to happen in my future. But the craving overpowers my will in a matter of days. I have been able to cease other cravings, but it is as if their power has simply shifted and added to the craving for food and tobacco. I don't think the specific behaviors are the problems but simply symptoms, of my weakness in the face of craving whatever form it takes.
You could do what my grandma did. After 60 years of smoking, she developed severe heart problems and had surgery. Because she spent 3 months in the hospital, she quit by force because she couldn't smoke. She is home now, but instead of being out enjoying her gardening and her grandkids, she spends 99% of her time in her house, because of the COPD and congestive heart failure that was caused by her smoking, she cannot even walk to her kitchen without hunching over and gasping for breath. It takes her a half hour to dress herself because she runs out of breath. But she is better than she was before the hospital, I guess.
Mindfulness practice often helps those kinds of things. But really it comes down to you figuring out why you crave them. It's not as simple as "they taste good" or "it's a habit." It developed into a habit from something else going on with you.
Every morning, I do a good job with my day. I get things done, I do yoga, I meditate, I eat really well. As the day goes on, it falls apart. I sit on the couch with the tv on, computer on my lap and I start to snack. A while ago, laying in savasana after yoga, I realized the reason it all falls apart is because I cease doing the things that represent me taking care of myself, my home, and my marriage. So now when I sit down, I ask myself why I am doing so. Am I just taking a break? Need to actually do something? Or am I bored and need to do something that is more about taking care of my life instead of vegging out? Not that there is anything wrong with that on occasion. But in my case, on days especially when the weather isn't nice, it can be hours worth, and it's not good for me. Realizing I am truly happiest when I am taking care of myself, my home and my family is what has allowed me to be more mindful about my choices. It might take time to get to the bottom of what causes yours. It took me a while.
Two things. First, realize there is no such thing as self-control. There is only sufficient motivation. What motivation you can use to counter the craving is highly individual. I quit smoking many years ago because my wife also had to quit smoking, and I didn't want to be the excuse she used to not quit. I suppose the motivation was equal parts wanting to be a hero and not wanting to pay all that money. But, until I had the right motivation, I would have found reasons to give in to my craving. So work on motivation. Find what works best for you. Groups are good because your ego gets involved and you don't want to have people see you fail.
The second. Keep trying. Unless you quit trying, you have not failed. It's not a race. If you fall, you get up and continue. The biggest enemy is getting discouraged because you find it hard. Of course it's hard. Lots of things in life are hard. You keep doing it until you get it right.
Good luck and hope this helps.
To quit a bad habit what I've done that has had some success for myself is to take regular one day vows of abstinence, this may not work that well for something like smoking which is physically addictive. But for eating, I have issues with my cholesterol so I eat well 6 days of the week and then I allow myself one cheat day where I can eat what I want. I find that having a time in the near future where I know I can indulge again in my craving allows me to stay disciplined for the time being. Over time the behavior you want to give up tends to weaken and you've built habits for living without when and if you are able to change entirely.
Be undivided. Don't be this person that wants to quit but it is too hard. If smoke then smoke and go full force. Enjoy it but be undivided. You already know reasons to quit so if you are going to resist craving then resist but be undivided. You need compassion on yourself and clarity of what the smoking is and why you want it. Clarity like that doesn't come if you are divided into a 'poor me' who cannot quit and all of these different motivations. When you are undivided, honest, and clear then just crucify yourself every time you want a smoke. If you can wait 10 minutes longer that adds to your willpower.
And then I have a strategy. I started smoking every hour and with certainty and discipline I never smoked more than every hour. Then when that was old hat I went to two hours. Right now I smoke every four hours but it was a process of 6 months to get here. If I smoke every 4 hours that is a huge cut back in smoking. Eventually I will go to 3/day and then 2/day and then 1/day. I intend to enjoy 1/day and not quit because I really love smoking and it helps me feel more alive granted that I am on anti-psychotic medicines.
My father began to smoke when he was thirteen, about two packs a day.
He quit cold turkey at 28, the day he married my mother and never, ever touched a cigaretted again the rest of his life.
My father-in-law never mustered the courage to quit. He passed away a couple of months ago with terminal lung cancer.
When we asked him if he'd resume his habit on leaving hospital, he adamantly said "No."
Unfortunately, that was his last evening.
What advice/teaching on craving have you tried so far? For example have you tried slowing down your guzzling and eating mindfully? Have you fasted? Have you developed will power or jhana?
Lobster, I have recognized that my unhealthy cravings are caused by mental/emotional suffering and my escape reaction. I've had great relief recently by practicing staying in the present while letting go of the past and future in my consciousness. Perhaps I am impatient and need more practice.
Bravo. For what it is worth I will dedicate my morning practice to your continued relief.
:wave: .
This will take some time. From the time you finish a cigarette or a meal, until the next time you have another cigarette or meal, try to do as many things as you can, and get into it. Try to find the joy in doing other things. Over time, you could possibly find yourself enjoying something other than cigarettes or eating, and you might even invest more time in doing them.
Have you been to a support group, they can be very useful, or tried taking up a new hobby, or change your life-style in a way that stops the craving from arisen. For instance, I knew someone, who always smoked when they had a coffee, and they drank loads of coffee. And the relationship between coffee and smoking was so strong that it was impossible for them and they became anxious when drinking coffee and had to light up. When it was suggested they refrain from the coffee whilst trying to give up, it was a cinch. Just got to eliminate the associated factors that are common the the process that culminates in the lighter being flicked...
If you have not done so already don't smoke for a month and/or overeat. This should give you plenty of insight and generally break the habit. It's so difficult to rationalize in the thick of it, so a decent bit of distance is necessary at least as a starting point. So whenever you get a craving don't think about it, that will stress you out more and make you want to, so go on a walk or a retreat, to take your mind off the matter.
Take that first step.
It's important to understand the 'cravings' you have (tobacco and overeating) aren't caused by some problem with your character or 'weakness' of will.
Nicotine addiction is a biochemical phenomenon. Perhaps consider that nicotine itself, while addictive, is not NEARLY as unhealthy as all the crap in tobacco cigarettes. I quit smoking with nicotine gum. The psychological triggers were much longer lasting than the nicotine addiction, but those too eventually went away. As for overeating, sheesh, hand raised here, damn but some good old comfort food just does the trick. Check out "Why We Get Fat" by Gary Taubes for an approach to over eating and overweight that doesn't blame your weak character for being unable to follow a diet.
There are so many addictions and cravings, our lives are riddled with ones we don't even realize are there. For instance, I am completely, impossibly addicted to using a toilet. Thwarting that 'craving' will cause some serious apples to go rolling out of the cart -- even worse, for some functions, it must be MY toilet. OK, I'm making a point about growing in your understanding of craving as a phenomenon NOT limited to literal physical craving, or even psychological cravings, or 'bad habits'. We crave for breath the moment we are born. Hell, we are born because we crave according to the Buddha. Your nicotine and overeating compulsions are excellent routes to take inward on your personal practice/journey. Explore, explore!
I think there is more to craving than body chemistry. We have some misconceptions of what is a brain and a mind and understanding what thought is. If we had no thought and mind we wouldn't every be able to change our chemistry. Quitting is an act on mind though the body must be conditioned.
Fight one at a time. Your chances are better than if you have to quit smoking and diet at the same time. You only have a certain reserve of willpower.
http://www.becauseicandoit.com/why-willpower-doesnt-work/
In her book "Buddhist Psychology," Caroline Brazier says:
"A first step in releasing ourselves from our compulsive patterns of behaviour is to master the ability to find stillness in a place of suffering. Although our impulses may all be towards doing something to distract ourselves, we need to learn to stop and just be with the feelings of dukkha."
When you feel the craving arising, try to stay with it for a moment and see if you can find what has triggered it and what you are trying to make up for.
Face that pain, since hiding it under your cravings will probably not make it go away either, and see how you can work with this pain or anxiety.
Mindfully eating those chips and mindfully smoking that one cigarette could help you curb the need for more.
I don't smoke, but I have found that I eat a lot less when I mindfully concentrate on my plate and chew at least twenty times each bite.
Sometimes insights are just out of sight. I don't know if a craving is just a sustained Urge or what. And different urges have different strengths, no doubt. I guess wanting to take a fresh breath might be classified as an urge; however, for it ever to be classified as a craving seems impossible to me; for you couldn't go without breathing that long and still survive to be craving the next breath. But then, as with all things, one can always be wrong. Still, I'd rather be alive and breathing than in full understanding of this matter.
I think we have to respect urges for what they are, give into the ones that would do us violence not to, and just try to get out of ourselves more and find new things to crave/love.
I remember that when I quit smoking I did it in winter so that I could breathe in the cold air as a substitute for smoke. That cold air was electric magic for me. That, with a lot of inward anti-smoking biased propaganda did the trick. I've been smoke-free for over 15 years.
I think urges are distorted arisings. It is when you are always chasing the next high that you lose the present moment.
Try to reduce one cigaret every month or two. Take little steps.
Not that it takes craving away, but developing self-compassion has helped me deal with over-eating. When I care about myself more than care about trying to escape feelings, the craving simply falls away. Health needs to be more important than bad habits to us. I needed to head towards the things I love (like myself) rather than hiding away from the feelings of emptiness and shame that characterize my bad habits.
This does not happen over night, but it takes time and is very subtle. It takes time to develop a relationship of love with yourself.
I am a compulsive overeater brought on both by prescription medications as well as emotional issues. For me the biggest things are:
1: Self love
.. don't beat yourself up. You're going to mess up. Just get back on the horse instead of saying "well I screwed up I might as well binge"
2: It takes 21 days to make something a habit. So be patient and try to go one day at a time. Think both in the short term and the long term. You need short term goals to keep you motivated and to help you feel not so alone.
3: If you are going to indulge or binge ENJOY it. You are a lot less likely to eat the entire tables worth if you savor your cheat food. Chew slowly and enjoy all the flavors and textures the foods has to offer. Make it last and I swear you will be satisfied a lot sooner. I hope this helps a little.
It gets better, you just have to keep at it.;)
The 3rd point of @Jenabean's post is excellent. Take you time to eat slowly. You will find a greater sense of fulness. Two friends of mine who are overweight seem to bolt their food. Taking little time to enjoy that first mouthful.
Have you considered chewing tobacco with your food? :crazy: .
That's a little step?!
Good advice. Trying to overcome more than one addiction at a time is just not realistic for most people.
Nicotine replacement therapy might be worth considering.
Gonna work on my diet first, not to over do it.
A sensible approach. It's common for people to gain weight when they stop smoking, so some work on that first would be useful.
Meditate on it, when you crave for a cigarette.
Earl Nightingale 30 day test on utube, & try electronic cigarettes buddy. :-)
No, don't. The side-effects are noxious and they're revolting things. Plus, the cost is astronomical. Save your money.
@Jenabean,
>
From here.
@Skeeterkb exercise is a good tool to battle both. Not only that but incredibly helps mental well being.
~<3
Very nice share. This stuff about cravings, etc. is of primary concern to me, because on June 30th of this year, I had open-heart (a triple bypass), and at age 61, I can't afford to sit back and let things happen to me, or to count only on the medical profession to 'save me from myself.' And that's a big reason that spurred me on to know more, and research this Buddhism biz. I was introduced to non-duality on another forum, and finally led to interest in Buddhism, as the meditation and attending the actual (bringing my attention back to my breathing), has played an important part and has made an incredible difference in my life and how things have gone.
Just simply bringing my attention back to my breathing has helped more than I can say, and my only hope is that putting this info out there can help lots of other people who are in need - and don't know it, sometimes.