Coming Out as a Buddhist
Vastmind
Memphis, TN Veteran
This comes up often here...and I do like Lodro Rinzler...so here's some advice he gave on the topic. This is a snip...so the link will have the full answer.
Q: How do I explain Buddhism to my religiously conservative parents?
A: .........
Zen master Seung Sahn was once asked about a similar topic by a student who was trying to articulate basic Buddhist teachings. The Zen master said, "When you teach other people, just teach. Only teach; only help them. Don't worry whether or not they understand; only try. If you are trying 100 percent, then your teaching is complete and your mind-light will shine to them." You can follow the Seung Sahn's advice by bringing your full self genuinely to this conversation.
Just offer what you experience, as opposed to your cerebral understanding. Don't fixate on whether you are saying the smartest or most articulate thing; just try and don't sweat it as to whether they understand every aspect of what you are saying. It is better that they get a hit of how meditation is affecting your presence than that they know exactly what it is you do at your local meditation center.
Comments
It the question was posited by this young man's parents, he doesn't stand a chance. From a real (verified by snopes) letter:
Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy raised in a good Christian home turn away from his own?
@yagr he could say he was developing his mind and body. Did you seriously read Dear Abby? What did she say?
@Jeffrey - apparently this was in a book on unlikely but true letters she received. I ran across it accidentally on the web. My wife is caring for her ailing father out of state and I bookmarked it until her return. Though not my favorite, it seemed fitting for the post. I'm hoping for a new thread that let's me stick this in the response:
Dear Abby,
I'm married to a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.
Advice from my little pony . . .
I had a friend whose highly educated and charming atheist parents refused to allow him in the house when he joined a charismatic Christian sect at university. After all they had taught him . . .
This is what it feels like to Conservative parents from a Buddhist perspective: Deal with it . . .
Back at cha! .. :wave: ..
Coming out as a Buddhist was pretty straightforward... I can at least explain Buddhism as stilling the ceaseless craving that prevents us from finding contentment in the present. :om: There are a lot of ways, in fact, to explain Buddhism. What was hard was my coming out as an atheist before that, which left my Christian family in collective apoplexy. They really don't understand atheism. It makes sense to them that people believe in other gods (sorta), but they can't wrap their heads around not believing in any gods. Feels weird to me that believing in gods and demons is considered normal, and unbelief/disbelief is this mysterious abnormality that's met with such negativity. :rolleyes:
At least with saying I'm a Buddhist and a Humanist there's something there for them to examine. There are values expressed. Atheist is just saying I don't believe in any of these gods; it's an absence that doesn't explain what I do believe.
My family are not interested in my dharma or spiritual fads. I have always presented them as interests or fads. IF I told them of plans to visit and picnic in the hell realms, they might be more engaged . . .
I've never had to come out because I've always been out.
Rather perplexed my parents a bit how a staunch Buddhist was produced from a Catholic household and a Catholic school, but I guess I was simply the ugly cuckoo-ling in the story.
You don't practice Buddhism to be a Buddhist.
...Short n sweet n to the point...
I have never come out as a Buddhist but all of a sudden my mother is buying me Buddha statues.
But @pineblossom has a good point there!
I bought a buddha and my dad said 'your a strange guy you are.' That was about it... I meditate alright my mom says 'I want to meditate to it must be good for me' She never asked me about it anymore, she said the same with yoga and I let her participate once she never participated again.
I do not get sad about it or stressed. I can imagine if your parents are heavy into a religion will be very hard, though in the west this is getting more rare and rare, and if you live with the Amish community you probably won't even hear of buddhism.
There was a lot of tension between my father and I for really no reason, but he assumed I must have "converted faiths" .. when I finally told him I had faith in both Buddha and Jesus it changed the whole dynamic. He asked me on the 25th (dec) "hey, when's Buddha's birthday?" ...
Respect the good and the spect regoods
p.s. on my tibetan calendar app Buddha's birthday is May 25. I didn't know and had to go look it up! hehe =]