Is mindfulness a luxury?
zenguitar
Bad BuddhistNew England Veteran
Hi Sangha, in the modern world, with all its multiple, unrelenting, often conflicting demands, it often seems quite hard to focus on one thing at a time in a meaningful way. The way most people deal with this is by doing more than one thing at a time (e.g. driving and talking on the phone), which seems not to be very mindful (or safe) way of proceeding.
Perhaps if a person is wealthy, he can take mindfulness vacations and focus on one meaningful thing without interruption for a while, the outer world be damned. Or if you are a monk or nun, you can concentrate intensively on this practice in the same way. But I just wonder if real mindfulness is (nearly) beyond the reach of the average, middle-class person in this 24/7, always-online world. I think this may be especially true when one is the parent of small children where, whatever you do, it is always [current activity] + keeping one eye on the kids at the same time.
What do you think? Is mindfulness a luxury?
I am hoping the answer will be a resounding "No, it's not." But I don't see how it could be...
Comments
Hmmmm
@zenguitar
I think of mindfulness as simply an unlimited awareness of phenomena.....
whereas you seem to be speaking of it it as a focused concentration which becomes more diffuse depending on the number of phenomena being noticed.
The Zen line on this one is "whatever you do, do it completely" or "everything should be meditation".
But I see where you're coming from with this question, @zenguitar .
We are only human and under stress of "worldly" life it's all too easy to get overwhelmed. Just making a living and family obligations take a lot of energy. I think the best we can do under these circumstances is follow a practice that makes our minds more stable and more clear so that we don't drown in the worries of everyday lives completely and hopefully can direct them in a saner direction.
No. As far as I am concerned, it's a necessity.
True, there is the "mindfulness" industry that has more twinkly lights than a Yule tree. But then there is your life and mine -- pretty ordinary stuff, stumbling along with our successes and failures until some problem -- sometimes a pretty big pretty painful problem -- rises up and the "mindfulness" industrialists take a turn talking about "suffering" -- a fact that the suffering industrialists can be a bit crabby about.
Yes, it can all be pretty fancy. But your problems and mine are not really all that fancy. They hurt. Sometimes their sources are hidden and their solutions appear impossible.
But did you ever notice? The first thing anyone -- wealthy or poor -- does when there is a problem is to slow down ... slow down and try to see the matter in its constituent parts. No one likes being a victim over and over again so ... slow down and investigate and stop finding excuses and really face up to whatever is going on. By paying attention and taking responsibility, there is nothing holy or virtuous about it ... it's just the only thing that has the capacity to clarify matters.
Later, if you're short of cash, you can become a mindfulness guru.
Eye on kids is mindfulness. Thich Nhat Hanh (link) says that brothers and sisters in the sangha help to find this mindfulness.
I mean this very gently and supportively -- you have a tendency to over complicate this. Ask me how I recognize the symptoms
.
Mindfulness happens RIGHT NOW. Now. Now! And now. It isn't some specialized achievement, it is right now -- what are you doing right now? Are you aware of what you are doing right now? That is mindfulness in action.
Suzuki's book "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind" has a passage that really hit home for me about mindfulness and awareness. He tells the story of an old monk who would call out his own name and then answer himself. When someone calls your name, immediately you are snapped into NOW awareness. It is perfectly ordinary. So try it. Call your own name and see how it feels.
Now do this several times over the course of a day
It is no more difficult, in essence, than that. I think the ordinariness of awareness is disappointing if what you expect is something magnificent or 'other' than normal everyday experience. It isn't. Mindfulness is only difficult when you think it is something other than this.
When we do a mindfulness meditation we focus on a single object. I don't think mindfulness has to work like that in the world when we need to multitask. I'd say in that context mindfulness means more that you are focused on what you are doing, multi-tasking is really just switching quickly between tasks, instead of lost in your head about tomorrow's big presentation or the fight you had with your spouse this morning.
Yes.
I likes luxury I do . . .
There is no pleasing some cushions though
Why would it be a luxury?
As you practice mindfulness in meditation, you get better at doing it when active in the world. It kind of grows on you.
Is mindfulness a luxury?
In one sense yes,(thinking outside the square) one could see the practice of mindfulness as a state of great comfort.. So yes, it could be seen as a luxurious experience of just being...
Perhaps.
Perhaps some of us are ready for slow TV . . .
Bravo Norway.
I can only compare this to asking whether sleep is a luxury. It's something I need to be able to function. If I allow myself to be sucked in by the 24/7 online world, I stop living, stop functioning, stop being able to contribute. Is it a luxury to take care of myself? Well, it doesn't help anyone if I don't. As with most things, it's about balance to me. But I can't cope with kids if I don't have some time for myself and meditation is the most effective thing I have found to do with this time.
I think you could say it's a luxury of having a strong daily meditation practice.
The stronger that becomes, the stronger mindfulness in daily living becomes. As the mindfulness cultivated in meditation, the more you do it, naturally spills over into daily living.
Everyone can do that for 1/2 hour a day.
Right! I need to be less lazy and force myself to do this more regularly.
Thanks everyone. I guess I was thinking that mindfulness means focusing on one and only one thing at a time. But I am often forced by circumstances to do at least 2 things at a time (walk and chew gum!)
Or 3, or 4...
Query: is it any more than language that makes me think that walking and chewing gum is more than one action? If I had a verb that meant doing both at the same time, would I consider it to be one action?
Also wondering whether it's a matter of "forcing" myself to be disciplined in my meditation practice? As the benefits of this are so clear to me, I find it an essential rather than something that needs discipline. If I don't realise the benefits then, yes, I can procrastinate until the cows come home. But they are unmistakeable to me. My life becomes a mere matter of survival without regular meditation - even if it's only a few seconds. Beginning to slip is all I need to remind me.
Pondering ...
I think it's rather like doing physical exercise in order to become fitter. Some discipline is required but it's a progressive thing, and the benefits become obvious with sustained application. But it will change the way you see things, so be prepared!
I also see benefits to meditation, when I do practice it. But I also see benefits in other activities: watching a good movie, playing guitar or listening to music, reading a book, etc. Since I have only a limited amount of free time, I do a mental utility calculation to see which activity will give me the greatest benefit (actually, pleasure). And sometimes (foolishly) I conclude that the non-meditation activity should take priority.
Just shows I have a long way to go..
Benefit is not always pleasure; pleasure is not always benefit.
Enough of the cliches. When will you say something meaningful?
To whom are you referring? Helps to quote.....
Yep, that's true, I just like to decide for myself when I've had too much stimulation, when I've had too little, etc and adjust my meditative periods accordingly. Not to get psychoanalytic, but I think it springs from my forced exposure to Catholicism at a young age. For better or worse, my mind is still rebelling against religious authority of all kinds, at least at a subconscious level.
Well, I was a RCatholic for a good 40 years, born, bred, christened, educated, married, Diocesian School Parent Governor, So I had a full share too.
I read something interesting once ("You don't have to sit on the floor!" Book by Jim Pym, who is not only a Quaker, but a Zen Monk) and he said words to the effect of:
If you despise, hate, resent, resist or rebel against anything, you hold it in your heart just as closely as if you loved, embraced, succumbed or supported it.
So what you're doing is not rebelling. You're actually holding onto it, and perpetuating your exposure to it.
You need to develop benign indifference to your catholic heritage.
It is what it is, it was what it was. Whatever you found that was good in it, continue it. Whatever has lost its value for you, leave aside.
Simple.
Yes, that's great @federica, very true. But...easier said than done. So how did you develop "benign indifference"?
By understanding that the resentment was all on my side.
Catholicism is what it is. Take it or leave it. But rebelling against it, is like hitting Mount Rushmore with an oyster hammer and expecting it to crumble.
If you don't want to accept Catholicism, leave it be. Just lay aside what doesn't work for you, and be grateful for what does.
Really. It's that simple.
If you can't see that such rebellion holds you back, and you continue holding it, then rebellion is what you actually want to perpetuate.
Ask yourself why that would be, and how it serves you....?
While it is common to believe that there is such a thing as "free time", a closer examination of the rest of my day shows that it is all really just a question of what I choose to give priority to over what I do not......
just as
mindfulness has the potential to be an intrinsic part of any of them according to the priority that I ever give it.
Does it? Is not your "mental utility calculation" a form of meditation?
Don't know the answer to this - that's why I'm asking! It would seem foolish to me to do nothing but meditate. How would the laundry get done??? But it's my regular meditation that enables me to do my laundry mindfully and then enjoy a film (or whatever) afterwards rather than sitting there feeling guilty about what I "should" have got done first but was too wound up to manage
Thanks everyone again. @federica, first of all, there is a certain amount of resentment in conservative Catholic circles against "New Age" religions like Buddhism that seem to be stealing followers from RC. So it's not all on your side. Second, I think part of the problem with "just letting go" is that my rebellion against RC and other benighted worldviews feels good. I get to think of myself as very clever free-thinking person who refuses to have the wool pulled over his eyes. And as an added bonus, I am free to indulge in at least some of the stuff that is forbidden by the religion.
Part of me finds all of this rebelling and indulging much more appealing than sitting and staring at a wall and pretending that I love everyone in the universe.
>
Yes, it is. You misunderstand my point.
I frankly am not concerned with what resentment exists in Conservative Catholic circles. That is THEIR problem, not mine. I can do nothing about them. Neither do I have a right to.
My Resentment is my problem, and it's all I can work on.
That is not either skilful or appropriate as a sentiment. it does you no good and does nothing to engender unity with those who look upon you in benign fashion.
>
Then don't pretend.
Cultivate it for real.
The appeal you find so encouraging is actually contrary to Right View and Right Intention.
@federica, absolutely right. Thanks.
That's a summary dismissal if ever I read one...!
Sorry, @zenguitar, it was the last line that got me!
You don't need to pretend to love everyone in the universe.
You have to cultivate it gradually.
I don't want to misquote here but I think it was HH the Dalai Lama that recommended to fake metta until one day you discover you actually feel it for real.
@zenguitar
Unconditional compassion or **love **or wisdom is just a lack of obscuration by greed, hate or delusion.
If the deliberate cultivation of compassion, love or wisdom feels fake to you, then you could instead just steadfastly focus on making your way towards selflessness.
They all end up being the same thing eventually.
Woolly thinking ain't it.
You are not being clever or free of refusal, rebellion, cleverness, feeling smarter etc.
You are just a sheep.
Sorry to be so blunt but you are a smart guy . . . all depends on which herd you wish to leave and what moon you want to howl at . . . which grass to graze on or walk over . . .
(this message sponsored by 'Sith cushions for Buddhist Werwolves')
Mindfulness is more of a skill than something that is tied to luxury or leisure I believe.
than the man who would conquer
a thousand-thousand men,
is he who would conquer
just one —
himself.
Sounds reasonable
And honest. A much anticipated movie makes meditation a bore. It's a lot like going to the gym, if you aren't a gym rat. Ya go not because you're gonna bound out of there rippling with muscle and health, but because it throws a few dollars into the health account. Over the years, the account gets beefy. Since I'm not there myself, I wonder if the much anticipated movie will still trump my daily cushion smooshing?
Try not to be so hard on yourself. Try to notice how your expectations are unrealistic without using THAT as another thing to flagellate yourself over
Mindfulness is simpler than you think, @zenguitar, since it is something you "carry" with you wherever you go.
It's not something you leave behind on the cushion.
It's a frame of mind set in awareness, choosing to live in mindful mode.
Very simply put:
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/dn/dn.22.0.than.html
Mindfulness...
At first can be difficult to understand -
But once the penny drops, so easy to do
Mindfulness is just being aware of what's happening in mind's zoo
I agree with @federica and that mindfulness is a necessity. The more we embrace/practice it, the "easier" it becomes, like breathing. Of course, we are humans living in Samsara, and we will always stumble along The Path.
For us multitasking monkeys, this is simple and applicable. Do one task fully and slowly.
Mindfulness in one sense exists. We have a full mind. We build a dam meditation practice to trickle our mind stream . . .
We are 'm powered!
Love this quote I just found:
-- Ignacy Jan Paderewski
....AND awesome. Pity we can't hit 2 "like" buttons at once.......