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Hello everybody! I hope you are all well today and free from the grasps of Anger and Fear. I am new to this site, not much really for chat forums, however something has been concerning me for many years now. Since this is my first post here, I would like to tell you a bit about myself, and these concerns.
I am a 24 year old male living in the United States, born and raised. Never really a Religious person, and i have many personal problems with Christianity, which is dominant here. I discovered Buddhism about 10 years ago, in the form of books written by the Dhali Lama and instantly knew that This is what i believe in. "This is the Sword with which I will vanquish and degrade feelings of Rage and Material Desire. It is easy to feel these things, and harder to remove them. It is my desire to improve the life somehow of anybody I may encounter." This was, and still is, something I try to live life by....however in practice it doesn't always go that way.
Living in a capitalist society such as the West, alot of the things that are Taught to us in Buddhism can not be truly followed. Its such a Culture difference. Here we are supposed to be ruthless, uncaring, self motivated Automaton and yet we wonder why we are becoming morally bankrupt. (and actually bankrupt.)
Even myself, I got fired and started work as a Bail Bondsman. So many people are happy for me and like "oh thats a good job thats awesome good for you" and things like that. Personally I hate it. It brings me much Guilt, and generally a feeling of dread or Evil almost. I just feel like that sums up perfectly what im trying to say. Bondsman or Buddhist. Its hard to be both... even though i have the best of intentions and i dont price gouge people like many others do, I feel like its the source of constant Moral Dilemma.
Is it truly possible to live a productive life in the West and still be a good Buddhist? To truly reject all desire for material happiness, when our existence here depends on these material things? So many conflicts. Such infinite time will have to be endured.....