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Hello all, I post this question seeking understanding. In short, I have a ex wife. For close to 15 years I was alienated from my three children. All efforts to contact were at least 9 out of 10 rimes unsuccessful.
Now the kids are young adults. I have now (partly because they are adults and mom can't block as easily now) I've reconnected only to find two of them have not idea the real reason. The years of seperation and lies from mom have embedded so deep/ done so much damage that I can't with any mindfulness or love begin to repair. Their hatred towards me has left me little choice but to once again "hide" away to limit the damage it's causing me from resurfacing anger, resentment towards their mother who was the unfaithful one.
Live now in Canada, they live in Texas. I have a toll free number for them to call me. ( two of them never do, one rarely) all texts, emails are never answered.
So now I feel I must simply back away and allow them to grow and hopefully mature enough till they become curious for answers. (If they ever do). So I feel I must let go and just stop trying. Still tears me up. Still boils from time to time with hatred.
As a practicing Buddhist, I meditate and have made progress in my awakening. Part of that is finding peace in my decision to let them go. It's isn't easy but I feel some insight and encourage from this Sangha may help.